Popular Days To Visit Cemeteries

And though there are certain days of the year when cemeteries see more visitors, the best days to visit a loved one’s grave are the days that feel meaningful to you.

Birthdays

Each day without a loved one is a day when you may miss them, and birthdays—whether yours or theirs—may feel particularly tough. Visiting their grave is one way to connect and include them in the celebration.

If it’s your loved one’s birthday, you might take comfort in leaving them a symbolic gift, such as a beautiful bouquet of their favorite flowers. If it’s your own birthday, a visit to their grave may help you reflect on your year and share your hopes for the coming year with them.

Anniversaries

In the years after you’ve experienced a loss, certain anniversaries may be particularly poignant. If you’ve lost a spouse or partner, wedding anniversaries or the anniversary of your first date may bring up many emotions and memories. A cemetery can be a comforting space in which to reflect on cherished shared experiences and express your ongoing love for your spouse or partner.

The anniversary of a loved one’s death, often called Remembrance Day, can also be a difficult day, triggering painful feelings and memories. A visit to their gravesite on that memorable day may help soothe some of the ache of missing them, and it may become a dedicated day each year that you honor them with a cemetery visit.

Holidays

Visit a Cemetery Day is a day at the end of October each year set aside to honor and remember loved ones who have passed and embrace the history, architecture and nature of cemeteries. Not many people have heard of this pseudo-holiday, however. There are many other holidays important to different faiths and cultures that are times when families and individuals visit cemeteries, including:

• Qingming. The exact date of Qingming, also called Tomb Sweeping Day, depends on the traditional Chinese calendar, but it always falls on April 4, 5 or 6. This Chinese festival is a time to honor and reflect on ancestors and those who have come before. Cemetery visitors may burn incense, make food offerings and clean gravesites.
• First day of spring. The first day of spring is an important occasion in many areas of the world. For example, in Japan, many people mark the spring equinox by visiting and tidying their ancestors’ graves after the last snow has melted, a practice known as o-haka mairi. Flowers also begin to bloom in spring, making it a great opportunity to leave a seasonal bouquet or potted plant to honor your loved one.
• Mother’s Day and Father’s Day. Those who've lost a beloved mother, grandmother or wife often visit the cemetery on Mother's Day to pay heartfelt tribute, bringing flowers or other tokens of love as a way to honor her memory. Similarly, those who've lost a father, grandfather or husband may find themselves drawn to a cemetery on Father's Day in order to remember and reflect on their special person.
• Memorial Day. The Department of Veterans Affairs hosts public Memorial Day events at more than 130 national cemeteries during Memorial Day weekend. Many private cemeteries also have Memorial Day ceremonies involving patriotic music, speakers ranging from community leaders to dignified veterans, and lots of American flags.
• Rosh Hashanah and the Ten Days of Repentance. During the Ten Days of Repentance, which span between Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur, Jewish families visit cemeteries to pay their respects and recite the Mourner's Kaddish.

• Chung Yeung. Also known as the Double Ninth Festival, Chung Yeung is a yearly event. It occurs on the ninth day of the ninth month of the lunar calendar, so the exact date varies each year. Like Qingming, it’s a Chinese festival that serves to remember ancestors, but Chung Yeung also honors senior citizens, too.
• Día de los Muertos. November 1 and 2 are celebrated as part of Día de los Muertos, or Day of the Dead, a multiday Mexican cultural holiday that honors those who have passed and supports their spiritual journeys in the afterlife.
• All Souls’ Day. November 2 is a time when Catholics may visit a loved one's grave to pray.
• Thanksgiving. On a family-centric holiday like Thanksgiving, a visit to a loved one's grave may be an occasion to honor their memory and give thanks for the positive impact they made on their loved ones and community.
• Christmas. In some countries, such as Ireland and Finland, visiting family members’ graves on Christmas Eve or Christmas morning is a longstanding tradition. In the United States and Canada, cemeteries often host candlelight memorials during the Christmas holiday season. Visitors may mark the occasion by lighting candles, leaving poinsettias, holly or carnations on graves, or softly singing Christmas carols. They may also write their loved one cards and either read them aloud or tuck them into vases on their loved one's grave markers.

Any day

Just as there is no “right” way to grieve, there's no right or wrong day to honor a loved one. The best days to visit a cemetery are the days when you’d like to spend time at a loved one’s resting place. Most cemeteries welcome visitors 365 days a year, rain or shine, meaning you can choose to go whenever it feels right for you.

FIND A CEMETERY