Bert Alwyn Phillips

TRIBUTE TO DAD (from Dodi)

Dad was not an educated man in the commonly held sense, or even a well read man, but he was a man of great wisdom who valued learning. Typically, his style of learning was hands on, and he taught us in a similar way, leading by example. For us, his kids, he was always supportive of our endeavors. This was especially important for Patti and me, as he never told us we shouldn’t or couldn’t do something because we were girls. He offered advice, but didn’t tell me what to do.

When it came to sharing his time, Dad was generous. Whether it was to help us with homework, show his grandsons how to hammer a nail, let his granddaughters style his hair, or run to the grocery store for that forgotten ingredient that Mom needed to complete a recipe, he rarely said no. For myself, he coached my softball team, he taught me to ride a bike and drive a car, he did repairs around my home when I was a single Mom, and he showered my kids with lots of attention.

You were at my side a lot, Dad, gently guiding me down life’s path – my first real job was in the same office where you worked. Of course you walked me down the aisle – both times. When I had my babies, you and Mom were there within a day or two, and I often felt your spirit near me, even though we lived far apart.

You had a genuine interest, Dad, in others. You always inquired when we spoke on the phone, about my family. Not just the standard, “How is so and so?” but, “How is Jeremy’s new job working out for him?”, “Is Andrea enjoying living in her new condo?”, “Does Drew have any gigs lined up with his band?”, “Is Darren back from California yet?”, “Is Lana’s basketball team still on their winning streak?”, and “What’s the latest on Paul’s campaign trail?” No lip service, but real interest.

I knew Bert for nearly 58 years. I would never be able to sum up an entire lifetime of memories, but he was a deeply caring and gentle man, a man of great integrity and selflessness. He was my Dad – I love him and I will always miss him.

Today we want to honour our father Bert, We all have lots of stories and memories of him and he affected each of our lives in many ways. Although our stories are all different, many of the same themes are repeated. So what are some of these themes?

First, Dad was not a religious man but I think he was the most “Christian” man I’ve ever known. He lived his life according to the teaching and principles we have all heard but don’t practice enough. Helping Others: He was an active volunteer for Block Watch, Meals on Wheels, the resident’s council at Concordia and delivering meals to those who couldn’t get out. Being Generous: Generous with his time, helping his children get a start in life (I think we all went to the Bank of Dad at least once). Non-Judgmental: He not only accepted all of our husbands and wives into his life, he would defend us all against anyone who raised an eyebrow at us. Humble: Although he had much to be proud of, he was proud in a quiet way and it was never about himself but only about his family.

In addition to all of that, he also had a passion for life and adventure. The question has been asked “Why did you have to go on the river that day?” But of course if you knew him you know the answer: It was because it was an opportunity to go on an adventure with one of his kids. I think of some of the adventures that he and I have shared: We rode camels across the sands of the Sahara Desert, We crawled up secret passages in the Aztec pyramids and we climbed the Great Wall of China. Dad loved adventure. He would have chosen the riverbed over a hospital bed.

For his friends and family Dad was a great man. The greatest compliment I have ever received is “You’re just like your father.” In my heart I know that I am not but this is what I aspire to be – to be just like him, I hope I can live up to it. Finally, I want to tell you that Dad was my Best man at my wedding, but he was also the best man in my life.

Tribute to Dad (Bert Phillips) - June 30th, 2012

This is difficult. How do you prepare to talk about who your dad was? When I thought about it, I realized he has been preparing me for this my whole life. Let me explain.

As a child we made several trips from Albert to Manitoba for summer holidays. Sometimes we went to the farm near Amaranth or to Miami or Roland. While there we would visit Grandma and Grandpa Phillips or Dad’s brother or sisters. These people were the lovers of the earth. They all had unbelievable gardens rich with flowers and vegetables. Of course there were horses to remember too. This connection to the earth is who our Dad was.

Other summer holidays took us to Saskatchewan where Mom and Dad met and Mom was born. In Saskatchewan we would end up in Montmartre. Often we would go camping and meet up with Mom’s brothers, sisters and families. This side of the family could let loose. There were large groups of kids, aunts, uncles, and cousins. There was dancing, card games, activities, music, and occasionally a bit of drinking. This social, have fun vein is who our Dad was.

There were many nights when I would lie in bed peeking out of the bedroom door to see Dad at the kitchen table with his adding machine. The next morning he would be up early and gone to the office. And if the next day was Saturday, we kids would be able to go with him to the office and sneak to the coffee room to eat sugar cubes until Dad had his office work done. We would come home only to have him start on his home projects; shingling a roof, building a garage, fixing this or that, paint a room, pulling nails, or doing things to help a neighbour. This dedication to doing a job and doing it properly is who our Dad was.

As time went on we kids grew older. As we got older we might have experienced a few growing pains. Dropping out of high school, running away from home (even if it was just down the block), coming home later than we should, looking for the perfect lifelong companions, taking time to ‘find ourselves’, or travelling the world on bikes, and thumbs and teams. We all knew we had enough rope to grow up but we also knew we had a safety net and his unquestionable backing. This perfect balance between freedom and support is who our Dad was.

There was always a tremendous joy from Dad when he talked about or to his grandchildren and great grandchild. There were summer trips to spend a week at Grandpa and Grandma’s house in Winnipeg, regular visits throughout the year, drives to Disney World, questions about what the grandchildren were up to, and remembering each birthday. This endless valley of love is who Grandpa, and our Dad, was.

How was the trip? Did you catch any fish? You rode a camel? Who did you meet? Where do they live? You’re going to do what? You drove all the way to Alaska? How long are you going for? How many other 70 year olds were on the trail ride? Was your butt sore after that? How was your meeting? You delivered how many meals? How’s the rose garden? What does that committee do? You received what volunteer award? This zest for life, the desire to do, and the drive to help others is who our Dad was.

For 50 years Dad has been preparing me for today and mostly I think of Dad and Mom. The way they loved and supported, struggled and survived, played and enjoyed (during the playing cards part, Dad mostly lost), compromised and collaborated. This made them one and made us who we are today. Dodi and Paul, Glen and Rick, Patti and Amy, Heidi and I; all solid relationships built on love and respect, this is who Dad was.

As I close, I think about a particular discussion we have all had with Dad. He didn’t believe in heaven or that there was life after death. I guess right now he’ll know because if there is heaven, he’ll be there. But what I also know from this discussion is about the spirit of an individual. When I look at who is here today, and I look at the impact Dad’s spirit and life has had on the lives of others, I know he is still here. And I know he continues to have life.