I first met Joe when his mom, bless her heart, decided yeah, the summer before Joes senior year in high school would be a great time to move him from California to Buffalo NY.
Thank God she did, in Joe I found a compatriot and a lifelong friend. Joe and I first bonded over Amvets, not our mutual desire to volunteer and help, no it was Joe’s love of thrift store clothes and he got me into them too.
You’ll be please to know Joe, that the suit I wore to Monica’s Buffalo service is a thrift store find, you can tell because the jacket sleeves are too short, on the plus side it’s a Burberry so good find!
When I think of Joe and Monica a few things spring to mind, firstly I have never in my life seen a more perfectly matched couple than Joe and Monica. You don’t look at them and go well he must have a ton of money! You see them and you go Yeah, I get that! They are perfectly matched, emotionally, spiritually and in all other ways perfectly matched.  They’ve gone through a lot together, and now our job is to make sure Joe and the kids get through this.
The other thing that I think of was I don’t ever remember seeing Monica after you guys left Buffalo, which was, on the whole, probably a good thing, you can’t tell now but as a younger man I had an incredible skill, of saying exactly the wrong thing at exactly the wrong time. I know I pissed off Monica on more than one occasion!
But there was one time when I was 100% on her side. They were living in an apartment I think it was next door to your Aunt or mother or maybe you had one on each side I don’t remember. It was just a visit, nothing special. But the first opportunity Monica had she pulled me aside and said when I give you the signal tell Joe you want to order a pizza.
Monica, you want a pizza, order a pizza.
Just tell him YOU want one!
Well clearly something was up but another skill of mine was -- some would argue, is being obtuse. 1/2

Monica will always be with me; for each and every interaction between us brought me to the highest sensations of elation and appreciation. The same sentiment from her to me, was expressed back her way and I sensed that I have brightened her night/day in great ways.

     From her definitive laughter, to her delightful demeanor, to her sharing of care for everyone and anyone, especially those whose lives appeared less than fair, to so much more, she was a positive force whose essence will live on within all family, friends, and everyone whom she interacted with.

Monica always greeted me with a hug and a kiss and a “Hi handsome!  She was an angel 👼 and will continue to be so forever!!  Miss you, my sweet friend!!

Russ

Monica came into our lives when Joey was so excited to tell us he was getting married ! We were so happy and a friendship began. Monica and I were pregnant at the same time and we were excited to raise our kids together to find out that one month old baby Joey was now in the arms of Jesus . Words can’t say how  devastated we all were . 

Thirty eight years later that same feeling is here again .., devastated. 

The day I went into labor, I called Monica , she encouraged me to get to the hospital Now ! I could still hear her voice .. we were so young , in our early 20’s . When our David was born , I remember feeling so inadequate as a young mom . Monica offered to come over and help me give my son his first bath . Looking back , I see Monica’s strength and joy helping me in the midst of her great loss and pain , so remarkable and inspiring. 
We moved to different states and would have occasional visits but the phone calls kept us connected. Hours of catching up , sharing recipes , venting ,sharing how proud she was of her kids , laughing and crying  as we talked about the past ,  we talked about our challenges we were facing and would encourage each other . We talked about God a lot and how much she loved Jesus . Oh , how she loved my cousin Joey ! 
Her ache is gone … our ache is strong . I love you Monica , hold little Joey real tight ,say hello to my mom and sweet Aunt Gracie who gave me a cousin we love so much .

Joe, Cait, Matt, and Ryan,
My heart is with you as you face life without Monica. I have such fun memories of Monica and our early days together when the kids were young. She and I shared many laughs and bonded over feeling like outsiders in Barrington. She embraced it all, though.
Rory and I were so  grateful for your help, Joe, as you and Monica shared your expertise about house hunting and moving. I remember how she loved it at our gatherings when the guitars came out and Gary would sing James Taylor songs. I wish I could sing “Desperado” again for her. We will all miss her beautiful smile and great sense of humor. I know this for sure: you were the world to her, all of you. I know her love is with you always.

RIP Monica, I will forever cherish the laughs and fun times we shared.  Thank you for your endless caring words and love. I will forever miss you, my dear friend.  Love Jerry

My sincere condolences to all of you.

Joe,

Lisa and I are very sorry to hear about Monica. We will continue to keep you and your family in our prayers. We hope that Monica's influence will continue to be felt through our donation to Gigi's Playhouse.

We wish you and your family God's peace and strength.

Jim and Lisa Connolly

Joe and Family -

Though I did not know Monica well, in the few instances I had the pleasure of her company, her joyful radiance shone through. Always with a warm smile, it was so clear to me how much she loved and supported you. These immediate moments of grief will remain but will soon be accompanied by beautiful and thoughtful memories. May her life be a blessing. 

Thinking of you often,
Marc and Roz Lessem

I was lucky enough to get to know Ryan through Glee Club at Purdue, which by association introduced Monica and Joe. After college, I still saw all three regularly at Purdue events, as well as barbershop functions. I don’t have a singular memory that I can share about Mon, but the one theme in all of them would be how much happiness she got from the happiness of others. Her face lit up whenever talking about Ryan’s musical performances, whether during college or getting into barbershop again recently. And every time I saw her and Joe at a barbershop function, I was greeted with a big hug, a smile, and Mon proceeding to talk about how happy Joe was with his latest quartet endeavor, or what Ryan has been up to and how proud she was. Mon was always selfless and happy for others, and just a beautiful person to know.  I’m lucky to have known her. Sending all of my love to the whole family.

Monica - i will miss our 1x1s while Joe was working. We had a lot of laughs.

I remember that Monica immediately welcomed me like family. When I was in a quartet with Joe and coming over to his house for rehearsals, she immediately welcomed me and worked hard to make sure that I knew I was welcome in her house. She wasted no time making sure that I knew that I had a place. I had done nothing for her in a profound way, but that didn't matter, I was like family every time I saw her. She made me feel like I was important and cared for and it is a rare gift that a person could overflow with such kindness.

I remember vividly the very first time I met Monica and Joe. It was August of 2013. My husband and I had just pulled up and parked for the Purdue Varsity Glee Club camp concert. They were the couple that pulled up next to us to park. And before I even opened my door, I looked at the two of them thought those are two of the most beautiful people I’ve ever seen. Once we got out of our trucks we all introduced ourselves. We discovered our sons were freshman in this group together. Monica and Joe seemed special. 

And as the years went on, with our sons together in this group, I would always look for Monica (and Joe) at every concert. She was such a beautiful person inside and out. I loved talking to her ad she was special. (Our sons grew to be good friends.) 

Then at one concert, Monica came with a medical boot on her leg. Even though she had been through a tough situation with an injury she was was positive, upbeat, humble and didn’t reflect on her injury; was still filled with joy and positivity. 

We continued to be PVGC Mom friends.  I looked for her at all the concerts. I loved seeing Monica before/after all the concerts and PMO Christmas shows. 

When she and Joe planned Ryan’s  home show we arrived early to help. We were able to meet Ryan siblings and they were just as beautiful outside and in as Monica and Joe. The way their children all interacted with Monica, getting ready for the show, was very special. She and Joe worked so hard for that show. Then when Ryan gave Monica her lavaliere and sung to her it melted my heart. She looked exceptionally beautiful that day in her gold pants! That was the last time that I saw beautiful Monica. I continued to think about the Gurreri’s over the past years and was fortunate to see Facebook posts. (Aunt Dollies birthday etc.) Monica was always looked so happy and smiling in each picture.

Going forward, each time I hear “Bridge Over Troubled Water,” I will think of my friend Monica. 
Lisa Heiden Peters

Monica- you did your work! You were loving and supportive and showed patience and loving kindness to all. I feel privileged to have known you and called you my friend! I know that you suffered the loss of baby Joey and that his birthday was a very sad day. You are
 holding him now and able to also love and be present to your Joe, your children and all of your family and friends. Don’t forget about us! It’s confusing and painful down here. Losses like your death are particularly hard to take! Say hi to Jack Weimer up there. He was a wonderful spiritual guide for us all.
Love Always,
Beth

Dear Joe, Caitlainne, Matthew, and Ryan,

I have truly felt speechless after hearing the news about Monica. I feel blessed to have known her and been on the receiving end of her hugs, smiles, and some big laughs over the years. I harassed her to join the choir for ages but home and family were her great passions - she chose wisely. Her love for all of you and for life itself was inspiring and her light will never fade.

Nothing special to say except that SHE was special: smiling, welcoming, supportive, appreciative and therefore inspiring. What a terrible loss! Sending lots of love to her family and friends.

Monica was a beautiful, warm, funny, loving human. I met Monica through Joe at work, and fell in love with her and her beautiful family, including my friend Joe. The antics of Joe and Monica together were spectacular … the moments they shared with me, the love they shared with each other, for their children. These were nothing short of spectacular.

While I’m sure there will be more … there will be a missing big smile, a missing gentle spirit, a missing piece of sunshine.  These pieces will be reflected, thankfully, through Caitlainne, Matthew and Ryan. And it is my hope and prayer that the Gurreri’s will find that sunshine as their hearts heal. 

Joe, you know I love you and your family. My heart is broken, too, for a life too short lived. If I can help or provide any solace or peace to you and the kids, please don’t hesitate to reach out. Any time.  My arms are around you all right now and Steve am I send you our love and support. Please picture Monica’s smile, as she is smiling down on you. She’d want you to sing and dance and be your adorable selves, just as you’ve always been with her. ❤️

The warmth of Monica's heart was reflected in her smile, her eyes and her hugs.  She was always curious and open to learning about other cultures, cuisines, faiths, and ideas...and never judgmental.  Her love for her family knew no bounds.  She was so proud of all of her children and their accomplishments.  Monica's love, encouragement and support of Joe were a constant throughout their marriage.  She was much loved by her friends and her presence will be greatly missed in our lives.

On behalf of the staff at Allora by Laura we extend our deepest sympathies to Caitlainne as our former team member and wish you and your family nothing but strength and power to move through until the day you are reunited with your beloved again. 
-Alicia and the team at Allora by Laura

To the Gurreri family, 

I'll never forget the years that I spent with Monica and your entire family. Her impact on me will last the rest of my life. She opened her home and took care of me when our family needed it, and her kindness set an example I'll never forget. I cannot say thank you enough for the years we all spent together on New Bridge Court. Here's to celebrating an amazing person and mother.

OBITUARY

Monica T. Gurreri

March 20, 1965 – September 14, 2023

Perna, Dengler, Roberts Funeral Home

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