Francesca D'Abate

Born in Hartford, CT, Fran was the daughter of the late Nancy and Frank DiFabio. Her husband of 61 years, Robert Louis D’Abate, preceded her in death in 2016. Fran was a graduate of Teachers College of Connecticut. In addition to her years in the classroom, she also managed the radiology library at UConn School of Medicine. Longtime residents of Farmington, CT, Fran and Bob downsized to a condo in Rocky Hill, CT in 2010. After Bob’s passing, Fran appreciated weekly get-togethers with this community’s “Pearl Girls.” Fran and Bob loved to square dance and to travel. They enjoyed their winters in Stuart, Florida, along with their life-long friends –

the St. Pierres and Pelletiers.

A kind and gentle spirit, Fran was an accomplished and creative seamstress. In addition to wonderful Christmas cookies, Fran enjoyed making classical Italian dishes with Bob, including ravioli and pizzelles.

Surviving are four children: Gary D’Abate and his wife Suzanne of Cleveland, GA; Glen D’Abate and his wife Kirsten of Medfield, MA; Greg D’Abate and his wife Lisa of Millis, MA; and Gayle D’Abate of Hammonton, NJ; five grandchildren: Michael D'Abate, Adam D’Abate, Jane D’Abate, Amelia Hess, and Colin Hess; and many cherished nieces and nephews. In addition to her husband Bob, Fran was predeceased by her sisters, Lucy Morelli and Jessie Iwamoto,

and her brother, Salvatore DiFabio.

Visitation will be held from 4:00 PM until 7:00 PM on Friday, November 4 at D’Esopo Funeral Chapel, 277 Folly Brook Boulevard, Wethersfield, CT. The funeral procession will depart from D’Esopo Funeral Chapel at 9:30 AM on Saturday for a Mass of Christian Burial at 10 AM at St. James Church (St. Josephine Bakhita Parish), 767 Elm St., Rocky Hill, CT. A private burial will be held at a later date in Cedar Hill Cemetery, Hartford. In lieu of flowers, memorials may be made to the American Diabetes Association,

P.O. Box 7023, Merrifield, VA 22116-7023 or at diabetes.org. To leave a message for the family or view Francesca’s Tribute Movie, please visit www.desopofuneralchapel.com

Francesca D’Abate Eulogy

Good morning and thank you for attending Francesca’s funeral service. I am Glen D’Abate, #2 child, and her favorite. At least, that is what my siblings will tell you. The truth is, everyone was Fran’s favorite. This is part of what made mom such a wonderful human being.

The best way to describe Fran is that she was an extremely kind soul, but also an extremely persistent one. Her unbelievable pleasant disposition made her dear friends throughout her entire life. Fran has remained close with the St. Pierre’s and Pelletier’s, whom we consider family, for almost 70 years. She has colleagues from her days at Teachers College of Connecticut – Betty, Louise, Janice, & Mary that she has regularly met them for luncheons since graduating in 1955. Mom was part of a close group of friends in Brimfield village dubbed “the Pearl Girls” who met each Tuesday, donned their pearls, socialized, and played games. During the past year at New Pond Village in Massachusetts, mom has made many new friends despite retirement communities having cliques that would rival any middle school. Fran also loved her animals, and they loved her. Our childhood home in Farmington had dogs, cats, birds, fish, gerbils, hamsters, even a snake which might still be living in Greg’s bedroom somewhere. Schultz and Frisky -- our dachshunds while we were kids -- each lived nearly 15 years. They were the inspiration behind her knick-knack collectibles that many of you picked up at yesterday’s wake. Her current shih tzu, Gigi, who is under the care of Laura her niece and her husband Martin, was especially important to Mom after dad passed away.

Mom had a way of dealing with us kids that was miraculous. She did not tell us children what to think or do, she simply set an example and let us figure things out. When we went camping, mom gave each child a small plastic bucket with a packing list taped to the front, and we were told to pack ourselves. She let us learn from our own mistakes. One camping trip, I had to use a rope as a belt for two weeks. I’ve never failed to pack a belt on a trip since. Mom, along with my Uncle Sal, were very involved in taking care of their father, Tatone, in his later years. They made sure he was cared for, comfortable, and all his needs were being met. This example made it very easy for us children to be so supportive of mom these past 6 years, since dad passed away.

Mom loved being active. She was a talented seamstress and made many of our children’s cloths when we were growing up. This was a problem for me when I got into my Hawaiian shirt phase in elementary school as she produced an endless supply. She was active in sewing clubs in Connecticut and Florida. Mom also knitted individualized afghans for each child (we got to pick the colored yarn) before we went off to college. One of her favorite sewing project was repurposing old cloth into new garments. Even this past month, you could find Fran in New Pond Village donning an old sweatshirt that she reproposed to a beautiful-embroidered cardigan sweater.

Fran also loved to bake Christmas cookies. 1968 was a banner year. This was the year she was pregnant with Gayle, born on December 20th. It was not any easy pregnancy and mom kept her mind off the stress by baking, and baking, and baking. We had Christmas cookies all of 1969.

Another activity Fran enjoyed with Bob was square dancing which she did for years with their many friends in Central Valley Squares. The square dance garb also served as great fodder for her children’s jokes.

Perhaps the activity mom enjoyed most was traveling and camping. Mom and Dad went to Stuart Florida each winter for 20 years, avoiding the harsh New England winters, and spending time with their many other snowbird friends. I was amazed each winter there would be one Tuesday when the group of snowbird friends would be meet for breakfast at the Oasis in Plainville with waitress Binki then the very next Tuesday, the same group would meet at Too Jays in Stuart Florida with waitress Suzy service breakfast. Mom & Dad also enjoyed a week each September in Myrtle Beach with the Saints and Pels.

In 1971, my father purchased a tent-camper, and mom, dad, 4 kids (ages 2 – 11) and Shultz, our dachshund embarked on an adventure to Great Smokey Mountain national park. While camping there, just as we were about to sit down to grilled hamburger dinner at the picnic table outside our camper, a mother bear and her cub came waking though the campground. The burger scent was very attractive, and they made a beeline straight to our site. Without hesitation, Fran quickly gathered the 4 kids and ushered us into the camper with my father. We did however, forgot the dog who was tied out front. We were only separated from the bears by a thin layer of canvas and a few feet as they hopped on our picnic table and devoured our dinner. I distinctly remember mom pulling out a big wooden spoon (her choice of child discipline) and banging it on a pot to try to scare the bears away. They were not phased by the cacophony and completing eating every bit of our dinner. They even sniffed Shultz as a potential dessert, before departing and leaving him unharmed. Shortly after that incident, at mom’s insistence, the tent-camper was traded in for a new camper with solid walls that was used for many future summer adventures.

In 1975, we embarked on another summer vacation all the way to California. The family and dog drove across the country in just one week, spent a week in California visiting national parks and my Aunt Jessie (who is my mother’s older sister who sadly passed away this summer in Michigan) and then we returned by racing across the country in less than a week. When Fran told friends we went to California on summer vacation, they would often ask “did you fly?” and mom would respond “sort of!”

I mentioned earlier that Fran was persistent. When Fran was approaching retirement at UConn Medical Center, where she worked in the Radiology department and was beloved by the residence and staff, she was told that she fell short of the 10-years necessary to receive the retirement benefits to which she thought she was entitled. The state was using an undocumented loophole to eliminate the first six month of her work-tenure. Fran wrote letters, enlisted colleagues, worked with the union, and even contacted the lieutenant governor of Connecticut who was the father of her former employer, Dr. Fauliso. Fran not only achieved receiving the full benefits due her, but was instrumental in getting a law changed to clarify this issue in the favor of employees. The union subsequently referred to it as Fran’s law.

After the kids had flown the nest by the late 1990s, Fran thought it would be time to down-size to a condominium. Dad did not. It took nearly 10 years of mom persuasion but eventually she got what she wanted, and they moved into Brimfield Village in Rocky Hill that she had found years earlier. Did I say mom was persistent.

One common interest of the rest of the family that mom did not share is our love of automobiles. Fran had a love / hate relationship with cars – she loved to hate them. When I was only about 5 or 6, our 1955 Ford wouldn’t start and mom managed to break her arm trying to push it out of the garage. It was sold shortly thereafter, and she never drove a Ford again. While on vacation in Ohio after a day of boating with my mom’s cousin Frank DePasquale, Dad accidentally started driving our fully loaded 1973 Pontiac Safari wagon away while mom was reaching to close the rear door. Her leg was on the pavement, and she got pulled out of the car as the tire road over her right ankle. Despite her foot and ankle turning bright purple, she didn’t even break a bone and continued on with the vacation undeterred. Then there was Dad’s Austin Marina that mom dubbed That Damn Car – I won’t even go there. Mom claimed not to be able to tell one car from another. When Greg decided to take our 1979 Chevy Wagon to high school one day, but subsequently concluded he needed to purchase Rush tickets the day they went on sale, he doubled back to our home thinking mom was out for the day. While driving down our street to be sure the coast was clear – which it was not -- mom happened to see a car go by and amazingly recognized it immediately! Greg was bagged. Maybe she knew more about cars than we gave her credit.

Fran was very spiritual and embraced her Catholic faith. She lived her entire life meticulously following and teaching the values her religion espoused. Fran was married in St. Lawrence O’Toole church in Hartford, attended St. Patrick’s church in Farmington when we were kids and where she helped my father convert from a Lutheran to a Catholic, and was active here at St. James while living in Rocky Hill. Mom enjoyed reading the Daily Word each morning for inspiration. Mom was incredibly non-judgmental and loved everyone for who they were. Despite being voted the class quietest superlative in her Buckley High School yearbook, it was exactly her quiet, pleasant, demeaner that made her noticed and well liked in any circle.

Above all else, Mom loved and was extremely proud of her family. Any of you who know her well will concur with this statement. Though I have had the great honor of giving mom’s eulogy today, she cared & loved infinitely for Gary, Greg, and Gayle. She also had extreme love for her grandchildren, nieces, nephews, siblings, parents, and extended family. Francesca was a truly wonderful human being who will be dearly missed by all who’s live she had the opportunity to touch. She is with Bob now, in a wonderful place.

The family is inviting everyone at the service to a luncheon to celebrate Frans’s live at Elizabeth’s Restaurant located at 825 Cromwell Ave in Rocky Hill.