Dear Ong Bac Hai,
I broke out in tears when my mom told me that you passed away the morning I came home from work. I went inside my room; sat down sadly and recalled all the great memories that I had with you since I was about five or six years old.  As I remember of you, you were very kind and generous. You always gave me and my brother money when you came to visit our house when we all were still in Vietnam. I was so happy every time I saw you coming to visit so I could have money to buy ice cream, ect.. Everybody in the families, relatives we all respect you so much not only for your wisdom as a great doctor, but also your humility and how you had lived your life with dignity with high moral value. I know that my dad is so sad when you were gone. He will miss the time that you came to our house for tea drinking and sharing life stories. 
It's so sad for me to say goodbye to you right now; until we meet again Ong bac Hai. Please play couple games of  mahjong when you see my grandparents up there and tell them I miss them too!
Love you and you'll be forever missed!
Tino


Ông nội ơi Ông nội,

Sorry I took so long, but there is a reason for this. Ở trong cuộc đời này nó có một cái câu mà nói, cái đồng hồ không có đợi cho ai hết. But I love this quote a lot. It means that time is imminent. It’s fragile. Fleeting. It means that time is crucial, everlasting, everchanging. That’s why there are so many sayings about time. It’s ephemeral like your love, like your final moments. You can’t rush perfection; perfection takes time. My love for you, and your love for us won’t ever change with the passing time, it’ll only grow bigger. I pride in myself the sayings you taught me, your wisdom that I’ve taken in. I pride myself in my own memory to remember as much as I can, my life with you and your life with us. There is no way I could fit in all my 21 years of life within 2000 short characters and I won’t attempt to either. I love you so so much and I don’t think time will ever change that. 
Time waits for no one. That means you need to take action because if you don’t then it will disappear from under your own grasp. There is a need to seize your own time, to find the resolve to do what you can and I just wanted to tell you… I’m trying my best. Even if it doesn’t really look like it, I truly am.

You told me that you found your pride, in me. You might’ve told everyone that you loved this, but I don’t mind. You told me that there was no one else you prided in, and even if you told others that there was no one else, I don’t mind. You said you were reminded of yourself whenever you saw me. You saw your aspirations, your ambitions, whenever you saw me. You saw your drive, your determination. Your mistakes, your failures. You prided in yourself who I came out to be and you told me that you believed that I was the only one, and I loved you for that. 

I love you so much, Grandpa. Time will never change that.

Derick Trọng Văn (TV) Hoang


Chú thương mến,

Đêm Giáng sinh 2019. 

Cháu ngồi nhớ đến mọi người bên đó, nhớ đến chú... và thật khó chấp nhận rằng chú đã đi xa. Đọc những dòng kỉ niệm các em, các cháu ghi về chú, cháu hiểu rằng chú là một người cha, người ông hạnh phúc,  dù ở đây, hay nơi xa đó.

Cháu đặt bức ảnh chú bên cạnh ba mẹ cháu, cô chú Bích Giá, Miễn Hồng, Nghi, và các bác Huỳnh, Phụng Lan... Chú vẫn ở đây, giữa mọi người.

Nhớ chú, và cháu cầu mong nơi ấy chú bình yên.

Cháu Dung

(Thay mặt cháu Hiếu, Trang, và chắt Beng)

Dear ông Chương,

Introduced into the family for the first time at the age of 27, I was lucky enough to be welcomed immediately and treated with unconditional love and warm intimacy. Thank you for being the father of uncle Bo, aunt Be & aunt Bi, and being the grand father of all your grandchildren. Thank you for bringing into this world these amazing human (with bà Thanh, of course). Half the earth away, my mom and I shares the sorrow everyone in the family is going through. And together with them, I would like to send you off to the better land with much love and  respect.  

Cháu Kin.

Dear Dad,
No words of mine can convey to you these emotions that I truly feel, but I know that you know, I love you.
I am very confident that you are in Buddha Land right now. When my time is up, please be sure to not forget to pick me up, so that you and I can listen to Buddha's teachings together.
I miss you so much, and again... I love you!

Your only son,
Bobo


(Part 1)
Dear Ong Ngoai,
I remember as if it was yesterday, I awoke at 7 am to tears, a pained voiced, attempting to muster a clear voice. In my head, I knew what had happened and the reason for the tears. I couldn’t wake up immediately; I had closed my eyes trying to fall back asleep, praying it was just a dream. After a little while, I opened up my eyes & had to face Reality. You were gone. 
This past week has been rough, but life doesn’t give anyone time for a break so I had to power through, stayed strong, to always smile & enjoy life at every moment possible. Even when I wanted to break down so many times, to lay in bed crying, to put everything aside, but I knew that I couldn’t. You would be sad seeing me like that & would tell me to keep working hard!
Although these are recent memories, I still treasured them as any others. Every time I would visit unexpectedly, we would sit down at the dinner table, eating homemade food, and catching up on life. You would always ask about school, family, & work. Asking when I’ll graduate, and telling me how happy you would be to see my degree hung up on your wall of all your grand-kid, their pictures, awards, & of course, changing that HS diploma into my college degree. These moments are what I treasured because I know that family & academics is one of the most significant things in your life.
Graduation is now a sensitive topic for me because the thought of you not being there hurts more than anything right now. The day I visited you at the hospital, was a night I can’t ever forget. When you said with a smile, “ đích tôn, why are you so dressed up visiting me! I feel honored,  I can’t wait to see you walk at graduation.” At that point, I couldn’t hold anything in and almost burst into tears but luckily I held it in. I smile, and said, “ Don’t worry you will soon.” 
My only goal in life was to give back to not just you, but all who I call family, for sacrificing everything so that I (all the kids) can be where they are now.


Part 2.
One of the many motivations that I had was to achieve & accomplished great things to bring happiness to all. From Sports, Leadership, Organization, Academics, and all that I’ve done was to show that your sacrifices weren’t for nothing and to create pride in our family name. 
Although I've always told you stories, showed you pictures of everything I've done & achieved. I wanted to let you experience it in person when I walk that graduation stage, with my degree, countless of stoles, awards, honors I’ve achieved. The many lives I’ve impacted through my college years, the endless amount of work, dedication, & time I’ve invested into everything I do that goes unseen in the darkness. All that just for that 15 seconds of fame, to see your proud face, & hear you say, “That’s my đích tôn, he’s an engineer.” To take a picture with you, as you put on my stoles and seeing your charismatic smiles. Although I had graduated, it was too late as it was right when you passed away.
I can only hope that you were happy that you were able to see my picture of what I’ve created & done with my Fraternity, presenting my senior showcase, working a full-time job, & the fact that you knew I was graduating in the coming days. I’m happy I was able to tell you all this before you left, but I had only wished you were there to see me walking on that special day. I hope you're proud & know that it doesn't stop here. Before you passed away, you left behind some lesson, & I wanted you to know that I will continue to work an earnest living, be hungry for knowledge, care for all, & to make sure the family is taken care of. 
Family is a gift that lasts forever, & you will too in my heart. 
I wish you could be there, but I know you’ll be there looking from above. 
Like my middle name you gave me, a special ember that will always be lit in a dying fire. A never ending flame, that will bloom into a Phoenix. 
I love and miss you,
Your đích tôn- Civil Engineer,
Eric Lam Dien (Special Ember) Hoang


Dear Father,

This is Dung, your only daughter-in-law.

I miss you so much to the point I cry every time I come to visit Mom. Everywhere I look, everything I see all reminds me of you. Now, I can imagine you being happy and at peace in Nirvana. 

I was overcome with happiness when I had read that you wrote in your letter that there is no difference between your children or in-laws.

From now on and so forth, I shall no longer write “Your daughter in law” anymore, but rather “Your daughter”. Thank you for all you’ve done for me.

Your daughter,
Hoang, Dung

Part II:
You were so proud of those videos. To the point of even sending them to relatives in Viet Nam to broadcast what a "genius" grandchild I was. You joked around with me that I'd become a biology professor or something of the sort.

Yeah, teaching... That sounds fun.

I'd joke right back at you that I'd become a doctor teacher, teaching doctors (is that even a thing? they're already doctors so what can I even teach them...). Not even stopping to tell me how unrealistic that was, you'd supported my dreams.

Years later, and it's suddenly 2019, where I somewhat come to terms with myself. I decided my future career a bit early compared to my peers, who have no clue what field they'd find themselves in. A teacher... that's what I want to be. And on your deathbed, I told you. My ambitions. My dreams. And as one would expect, I got nothing short of endless support.

"Haha, you'd be a good teacher..." you said with your wavering breath.

You'd always be there for me. And even after your passing, I know that won't change. Wherever you are, I know you'd be proud of me, of us.

It's a shame that you couldn't live a bit longer to hear that my poem that I submitted is going further in the ranks (4th district! that's stretching across the LA schools and including 400 more!). I know you always did like my writing, although I can't really see the charm in it (probably just a grandparents thing).

Then maybe you could've been there for my birthday as you always did. There wasn't one single birthday you weren't there for. But I guess, the change starts now. And as you said, "Things are going to change... but be good."

This last week of December, of 2019, of the decade, I'll be sure to be happy still. Without a doubt, I'll be sure to live and enjoy tomorrow for what it offers, to live in joy, in success, like how you'd always want us to. Thank you, Gia Gia.

With endless love,
Your only grandchild who calls you "Gia Gia,"
Kelly Gia Bao Hoang
Kelly "Family Treasure" Hoang

PART I:
"Do not spread germs!"

That's what I said years ago. Something I had forgotten until you and grandma had reminded me recently before you passed. This occurred just a bit before I had found out that you were getting more ill. It had occurred when you and grandma visiting every Wednesday was just another normal event. Another routine act. Nevertheless, not truly thinking of the value behind these weekly visits, I took it for granted, and I'd sleep from being sleep-deprived from not sleeping the night before, and wake up without you there.

Back then, surely after school or on the usual Saturdays after my piano lessons, mom and dad would drop me off at your house. As per usual, I was just spewing straight nonsense of what I had recently learned (what any bright and loud elementary child would do). Yet, one day out of the blue, you had brought out your silver camera and pressed record. And there it was, Doctor Kelly Hoang (let's not forget the MD) was born into the world. I had talked about germs, carbohydrates and exercising. Nevertheless, my unusual common antics sparked joy. Although my father had interrupted with his sneezes here and there, he laughed as he enjoyed the show. On the other hand, Grandma had showered me with praises. And you... You had recorded everything with a smile on your face. With a smile that had never faded away even after the recording was over.

"Are you done?" you'd ask.

"Yeah, I'm done," I said. Then I'd awkwardly shuffle off the screen like a crab. How ridiculous!

When I look on back in my childhood, I was always filled with support. Filled with unconditional love and support from everyone. And mostly... from you.

Dear Ong Ngoai,

I MISS YOU!!!!! The times we spent together, the happiness, and the fun we had with our family will always be in my heart. My fondest memories of you were all the times I spent you and Ba Ngoai, eating with you, or just talking with you. I remember how happy I was when you came to my eighth grade promotion and was cheering me on when I got my certificate and awards. You have brought happiness to us and you will always be the “heart” of our family. With you as the family’s “heart,” our happiness is preserved. When I first heard about your passing, it was one of the saddest moments of my life. I am glad that I was able to spend some time with you before you left this world. I will miss you always. I will remember you until the end of time and I will pray for you. Bye Ong Ngoai. I hope you find happiness in Nirvana...

Love you one,
Your “favorite” grandson,
Austin Trung 
P.S. Thank you for naming me Trung. 



Dear Grandpa, 

You have been the number one, awesome, loving, caring, happy, enthusiastic, and the greatest grandfather I could ever ask for. You are the one person in the world that taught me to never give up and to fear nothing in life. You have always been there for me whenever I need support.  Every time I had bad days, you would be the one that turns my sad face into a happy face. The number one thing I am thankful for was that you motivated me to follow my dream in becoming a nurse.  When hearing stories about you being a doctor, I wanted to get involve in the medical fields. Every time I go to visit you and grandma, I get super excited because it gives me the opportunity to spend time with both of you.  Any time I am with you, the things we do are moments I will never let go and will always hold on to.  Any time any one of us grandkids have a graduation or an award ceremony, you would always want to attend these celebrations to support us and show that you are proud of us. You always have videos showing our accomplishments, from the time we were young to the time we graduated.  I remember seeing you putting Kelly’s name on the credits on my high school graduation video just because she wanted to be on it even though she didn’t help make the video. That was the kind of grandpa you were, always wanting to make us happy. I remembered the one time our family went Big Bear back in 2003 and you and I went sledding, it was so much fun. Every Thanksgiving, you gave speeches before our family had the feast. Your speeches were always motivational and enjoyable to listen to.  The times our family would come together for Christmas, you and grandma would always have games for us grandkids to play and I will always remember that it was Chi Tine that always win them.  All of these memories I had with you will be cherished for the rest of my life. Thank you for being my grandfather. I hope I made you proud. I will always love you Grandpa.

Your Grandson,

Tyler


Dear Dad,

When I left Viet Nam, your last words to me were: “When will I see you again?” 

I was too young to understand, so I just said “see you later.” 

Seventeen long years later, I saw you and it was one of the happiest days of my life!!! 

Dad, you have always been in my heart and there, you will always stay. You have taught me so much: compassion, kindness, unconditional love, and the belief in our religion. In the past few weeks, I saw how our faith gave you strength, clarity, and peace - and it brought me a lot of comfort. I am so grateful that Mom, Bi, Bo, and I got a chance to spend your last moment on Earth with you laughing and praying, and that you heard me tell you how much I love you. So Dad, until I see you again, “see you later.” 

I love you Dad, and I am so proud and honored to be your oldest daughter. 

Bebe

“Dad, I’m Here.”

I used to say that every time I came down to your house when you were sick. Even when you couldn’t say anything back, You'd open your eyes and nod. I still say it every day but I don’t see you there anymore or hear your voice say hello back. I just see you on the altar looking at me and every time, my heart aches. It hurts so much I feel as if I’m breaking inside.

I think I’m luckier than Bebe and Bobo because I got to spend so much more time with you than them. I got to travel with you and explore the country. But I also did the little things with you, that were just so special now, like going shopping with you, having lunch at this restaurant or another, or just running errands with you. Afterwards, when you were too tired to go out, I became your barber. You would tell me stories about grandma and grandpa, your siblings, your career, and about Buddhism while you sat and waited for me to finish cutting your hair. I miss those talks.

This morning, I drove past those places we used to go and without thinking, I looked to see if you were there among all those people. I couldn’t find you and it broke my heart. The sights and memories remind me that I lost someone who loved me very much, who always comforted me, and gave me advice whenever I struggled in life. In those last moments by your side, I held tightly on your hand and had the chance to say that I love you and thank you for giving me the life I have. As much as I wanted to hold on, I had to let you go, back to Buddha. 

Whenever someone talks about you, I feel so proud to be your daughter, to have known such a great man. 

Thank you for giving me everything you had, a life with such a warm family, and a wonderful childhood. Thank you for being there as I grew up and for helping my own family grow. 

Rest well, dad. I know you’re tired after such a long and well-lived life.

I promise we’ll take care of mom and love her; hopefully just as much as you had for her. 

Your daughter,

Bibi

"Come take a photo with me," Grandpa would say. 

He’d hand his phone over, grab one of us, and stood still.

He’d always take a picture, no matter if he was in his pajamas with messy hair or dressed in his suit and tie. At lunch or in New York. Sitting on the grass or standing on the steps of the Lincoln Memorial. 

Photos all the time, anytime, anywhere. 

We asked him why he liked taking photos so much and why he printed them all out. He’d even go through the trouble of putting them in albums. But he never looked through them himself.

He said the photos weren’t for him to look at. They were for us - to remember him by when he was gone. It was silly - we never thought he’d be gone or that we’d have to say goodbye. He’s Grandpa, indestructible, always present, always there to answer a phone call with “Hi con!” or turn on his FaceTime with his face a little too close to the camera.

We could never imagine it, not even in our worst nightmares. But he knew, he knew one day he’d leave us.

Now, all we have are those photos. And it’s because of them, we can smile through our tears. Because through those photos, we remember him as if he were still there and it makes it hurt just a little less. 

Thank you, Grandpa, for the photos. For taking care of us then and for taking care of us now. For all your wisdom. For the unending support. For the memories. For the unconditional love. 

Until we see each other again, Grandpa, and take another picture together… thank you for everything. I’ll miss you always.

I’ll love you forever.

Ong Ngoai,

I wrote you a speech. The one I'll read at your funeral. I worked hard on it, and I put my heart into it, and I'm proud of it.

This one is harder to write. I don't know why. Maybe it seems less personal, typing this into this textbox. Maybe it seems more permanent as words on a webpage, rather than words I'll say in front of our family next week.

All I can say is that you'll always be remembered. We'll carry you with us for the rest of our lives. Our friends and our children and our grandchildren will hear about you and learn about you and you'll be a part of them as well. Your memories, your stories, and your stories will be part of us always.  Every dinner with family, every hot cup of tea, every joke that makes us laugh, every good deed we try to do, you'll be with us.

Love you always. Ong Ngoai cua con.

OBITUARY

Chuong Ngoc Hoang

August 3, 1938 – December 15, 2019

Peek Funeral Home

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