Sometime during the evening of December 24, 2021, our beloved son, Adam Paul Smith Sibley, passed away in Burnaby, BC. As his parents, family, and friends, we are heartbroken.
Adam is survived by his son Carter Murray Sibley, Carter’s mother Katelyn Murray, his parents, Paul and Merlene Sibley, his Uncle Brian and Aunt Bernie Sibley, his Godmother Penny McCullagh (Leo) and his Godfather, Cyril Feddema, his cousins Tristan Sibley and Aiden Sibley, and Tristan`s son, Knox. He is also survived by cousins in Quebec, Ontario, and Newfoundland, and by friends that are family, the Preziosi and Kalina families. Adam was predeceased by his maternal grandparents, Merrill and Edna Smith, his paternal grandparents Marie and Roy Sibley, and his Uncle Roger Sibley.
Adam was born on January 26, 1989, on a very chilly day in Calgary Alberta. He was a “miracle baby” for us as his parents. He was an active, curious baby and child who was often described as a “character” from an early age. He embraced life fully, often seen dancing around and always had a smile on his face. Adam was also an anxious child, not always sure if he belonged. He often covered that anxiety by being mischievous and playing pranks.
Adam attended St. Ann’s Academy and later South Kamloops Secondary School. Adam was a bright student who struggled to apply himself to subjects that didn’t interest him. Despite that, he graduated in June 2007, and was accepted into the University of Victoria Business Degree Program.
Adam was enthusiastic about sports in his pre-teen and teen years. He excelled at shotput and regularly placed in the top three at school district track and field meets. He loved hockey and lacrosse and played at a competitive level in both. He was best known as the ”Big Stopper” in lacrosse.
The things that Adam most loved in this world was his family, his son Carter, camping, hiking, working out, and spending time with friends. His smile was contagious, his sense of humor was sharp, and he had the most infectious and unique laugh. He loved organizing activities that would involve people having fun together.
Adam’s struggle with addiction started in his teen years. Some only knew Adam through the lens of his addiction. Adam was a quite different person in addiction than he was in recovery. Those who really knew Adam, experienced his big heart and willingness to help anyone. He went to treatment for the first time when he was 20 years old and celebrated three years of recovery. After a relapse, Adam struggled to find sustained recovery, but each time he always found a way to return to treatment and to a program of recovery, guided by the spiritual principles of Narcotics Anonymous. The role of Narcotics Anonymous in Adam’s life was significant, as it brought him connection with others and a road map for life. He wanted a life he could be proud of. He got up each time addiction knocked him down.
Adam returned to treatment on November 16, 2021. This time we knew it was different. He threw himself into daily activities of recovery and his attitude and behaviour were different from the start. We all experienced him regaining his self worth and he was engaged in doing all the right things to maintain his sobriety. He took an active role in supporting his peers in treatment. He regularly went to meetings, worked with his sponsor and counsellor, did volunteer work, and engaged in fun activities.
The last 60 days of Adam’s life we experienced a struggling young man pick himself up for the umpteenth time to become a humbled man striving to right wrongs, help others in their recovery, and to build character. He was doing everything right, living in recovery, going to meetings, leaning on a wonderful sponsor and other men in recovery. He wanted to be a good son, friend, and father to his son, someone he could be proud of and want to spend time with. As a family we got to spend an evening together celebrating others in recovery. His father got to see him on an almost daily basis. As a family, we had plans to spend Christmas together.
It may have been what Adam did not share that led to his relapse. Or it may have been the irresistible, compulsive craving of his drug of choice. Drugs change the way the brain operates, and it takes at least two years of recovery for the brain to heal fully.
Adam expressed how welcomed, accepted, and loved he felt by his family of recovery. He knew how deeply his family loved him and that we never gave up hope. The last night we shared together as a family, he shared that very sentiment, "You and Dad and my family of recovery never stopped believing in me and never gave up on me." We are glad his last days were good days.
The family would like to thank all who helped Adam along the way. His first counsellor, Dr. Christina Basedow of Edgewood in Nanaimo BC, who knew and loved Adam. All the wonderful staff members and fellow peers at The Last Door Recovery Society in New Westminster, BC. Founder Dave Pavlus and his staff never gave up on Adam. Connor always answered Adam`s calls and supported him to find help. His counselors, Bill, Ryan, Vince, Alex and so many people in recovery who were such an important part of Adam`s life. Sareh, Val and Scott, you were there for Adam, you loved him, and you held him accountable. Bo, you saved Adam`s life more than once.
A celebration of Adam`s life will be announced in the spring or early summer. Rest in peace our cherished son.
Fond memories and expressions of sympathy may be shared at www.GlenhavenMemorialChapel.com for the Sibley family.
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