It has been three years of learning to miss my dearest mother. I look forward to more of the same emptiness as any feelings and thoughts of her are welcome. Even though my life is not as meaningful without her present, the only way to continue and to have her is to keep her in my soul. Tim

It was three years ago today God call you Home. Miss you more each day. Will love you forever. Joe

July 30, 2014
Three years ago today God called you Home. Miss you more each day, will love you forever. Joe

A Tribute to My Mother...

Invisible Mothers…Building Cathedrals

It all began to make sense, the blank stares, the lack of response, the way one of the kids will walk into the room while I’m on the phone and ask to be taken to the store. Inside I’m thinking, ‘Can’t you see I’m on the phone?’ Obviously not; no one can see if I’m on the phone, or cooking, or sweeping the floor, or even standing on my head in the corner, because no one can see me at all. I’m invisible. The invisible Mom. Some days I am only a pair of hands, nothing more: Can you fix this ? Can you tie this? Can you open this?

Some days I’m not a pair of hands; I’m not even a human being. I’m a clock to ask, ‘What time is it?’ I’m a satellite guide to answer, What number is the Disney Channel?’ I’m a car to order, ‘Right around 5:30, please.’

I was certain that these were the hands that once held books and the eyes that studied history and the mind that graduated summa cum laude – but now they had disappeared into the peanut butter, never to be seen again. She’s going, she’s going, she’s gone!?

One night, a group of us were having dinner, celebrating the return of a friend from England. Janice had just gotten back from a fabulous trip, and she was going on and on about the hotel she stayed in. I was sitting there, looking around at the others all put together so well. It was hard not to compare and feel sorry for myself. I was
feeling pretty pathetic, when Janice turned to me with a beautifully wrapped package, and said, ‘I brought you this.’ It was a book on the great cathedrals of Europe. I wasn’t exactly sure why she’d given it to me until I read her inscription:
‘To Charlotte, with admiration for the greatness of what you are
building when no one sees.’ 

In the days ahead I would read – no, devour – the book. And I would discover what would become for me, four life-changing truths, after which I could pattern my work: No one can say who built the great cathedrals – we have no record of their names. These builders gave their whole lives for a work they would never see finished. They made great sacrifices and expected no credit. The passion of their building
was fueled by their faith that the eyes of God saw everything. 

A legendary story in the book told of a rich man who came to visit the cathedral while it was being built, and he saw a workman carving a tiny bird on the inside of a beam. He was puzzled and asked the man, ‘Why are you spending so much time carving that bird into a beam that will be covered by the roof, No one will ever see it. And
the workman replied, ‘Because God sees.’


I closed the book, feeling the missing piece fall into place. It was almost as if I heard God whispering to me, ‘I see you, Charlotte. I see the sacrifices you make every day, even when no one around you does. No act of kindness you’ve done, no sequin you’ve sewn on, no cupcake you’ve baked, is too small for me to notice and smile over. You are building a great cathedral, but you can’t see right now what it will become.

At times, my invisibility feels like an affliction. But it is not a disease that is erasing my life. It is the cure for the disease of my own self-centeredness. It is the antidote to my strong, stubborn pride.

I keep the right perspective when I see myself as a great builder. As one of the people who show up at a job that they will never see finished, to work on something that their name will never be on. The writer of the book went so far as to say that no cathedrals could ever be built in our lifetime because there are so few people willing to
sacrifice to that degree.

When I really think about it, I don’t want my son to tell the friend he’s bringing home from college for Thanksgiving, ‘My Mom gets up at 4 in the morning and bakes homemade pies, and then she hand bastes a turkey for three hours and presses all the linens for the table.’ That would mean I’d built a shrine or a monument to myself. I just want him to want to come home. And then, if there is anything more to say to his
friend, to add, ‘You’re gonna love it there.’

As mothers, we are building great cathedrals. We cannot be seen if we’re doing it right. And one day, it is very possible that the world will marvel, not only at what we have built, but at the beauty that has been added to the world by the sacrifices of invisible women. 

Love you Mom and thanks for the Cathedral...

Ted

Mrs. Muriel, 
You will always live in my heart and in my mind. I will always remember how you would teach me how to pronounce words in english. Thank you.

We are so sorry to hear of the passing of your mother.  We wish that you all wonderful memories.

Dear Mother,
You were the most beautiful mother ever in the world. I will never forget you.
Love, Tim

Dear Uncle Joe and family,

We will miss Aunt Muriel and always remember 
her wonderful laugh, strong spirit,  and the love you two shared with all of us throughout the years.

With Love,

Mike Beuder and family

Dear Uncle Joe,

We will miss Aunt Muriel and always remember 
her wonderful laugh, strong spirit, and the love you two shared throughout the years.

With Love,

Mike Beuder and family

Hi Uncle Joe & the Cousins, 
We are sorry for your sudden loss. Our thoughts and prayers are with you during these sad times.  I'm glad we were able to see you and Muriel on SKYPE over the last few months. I'll always remmeber the great times we had when we use to come out and visit. The pictures bring back some great memories. 
Love - Tom, Joanne, Molly & Bridget Cooke.

Joe,
Rest assured that the Blessed Virgin welcomed Muriel with open arms. May the Lord comfort you with the sure and certain hope of the Resurrection.

Hi Uncle Joe & The Webber Cousins, 
We are sorry for your loss. Please know you are in our thoughts and prayers. Aunt Muriel will always have a special place in our hearts and memories. Love - Dan, Annette, Matthew, & Michael Cooke

Dear Joe,
We were saddened to learn of Muriel's passing.  Thank you for the photo gallery in the website.  Had she been ill for a very long time?  We appreciate your letting us know.  Please keep in touch.
Gordon & Shirley Garnhart

Hi Uncle Joe & The Webber Clan, 
   The hearts & prayers of the Cooke's of Maryland go out to you in these sad times. We're fortunate to have talked with Aunt Muriel on SKYPE a few weeks ago & I remember sharing a Subway Sandwich lunch with Joe, Muriel, Larry, and myself (Terry) at your house on Fonthill a few years ago when I last visited Hawthorne in person. Uncle Joe - keep on SKYPEing!
Love - Terry, Elsie, Jason, Heather, & Jessica Cooke

Uncle Joe, Ted, Tim and Terry,
It is with deep sorrow that we cannot be there in person.  Our love goes out to all of you, as well as our prayers. Shirley, Harry, Maureen and Ed.

Hi Joe.  I have so many emotions after reading your email.  My heart aches for the loss of your precious and best friend.  She passed away the same day as mom 7/30....four years ago.  Well.... they're dancing in heaven right now.
I have fun memories, i.e. you and Muriel at our home in the summer dancing on the patio after Dad had put corn meal down so you could make your dance moves with ease. ... :) See you Friday.  Much love and prayers.. Cindy Foley

OBITUARY

Muriel B. Webber

May 2, 1925 – July 30, 2011

Halverson, Stone & Myers Mortuary

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