Santa Ostetto

Santa was part of a generation that we are unlikely to ever see again. Whose resilience, determination, work-ethic and self-sacrifice enabled future generations to succeed and thrive. Santa wore many hats as Wife, Mother, Grandmother (Nonna), Great-Grandmother (Bis Nonna), Sister (Sorrella), Aunt (Zia) and Friend, to name a few. She was our safe-harbour, our rock, our matriarch. Most of all, she was the beloved wife of the late Olindo Ostetto, dearest mother of Mary (Ray) Smit, Dennis (Anna) Ostetto, René Ostetto (Darren Knowler) and Sahar Linda Ostetto (Munawar Ali Najafi), cherished Nonna of Melissa, Andre, Dean, Dylan, Sana, Naqia and Zayan, and wonderful great-grandmother of Madison, Sophia, Olivia and Marlowe – all who miss her dearly.

The Ostetto family will receive family and friends at the Jerrett Funeral Home, St. Clair Chapel, 1141 St. Clair Ave. West (1 block east of Dufferin Street) in Toronto on Thursday, February 23rd, from 2:00pm-4:00pm and 6:00pm-9:00pm.

The Funeral Mass will take place on Friday, February 24th at 10:00am at St. Charles Borromeo Catholic Church, 811 Lawrence Ave W, Toronto. PLEASE NOTE: On the morning of the Funeral Mass, we would ask all friends to go directly to the church, arriving about 15 minutes prior to the Mass to allow the family private time at the funeral home. Thank you very much for your understanding.

The Entombment Service will follow at Holy Cross Cemetery, 8361 Yonge St (in the Holy Family Mausoleum, located off of the Langstaff entrance).

In lieu of flowers, the family have requested donations be made in Memory of Santa Ostetto to the Sick Kids Foundation, Toronto Cat Rescue or to the Toronto Humane Society.

EULOGIES GIVEN AT THE FUNERAL:

*Eulogy for Santa Ostetto delivered by her grand-daughter Sana Najafi:

As a strong woman, my Nonna has always been a role model to me. She was one of my first teachers of unconditional love, generosity and kindness. Spending time with her was always comforting, and effortless. I spent countless days at her home, sifting through her magazines, playing with her neighbour’s grandchildren or just sharing a meal together. She would always sneakily allow myself and my sister to watch TV, since my mother would scold us if she found out! Speaking of sneakily, each time we had to leave, she would have us fetch her purse, and would slip us some cash. Although we protested, she always insisted we take it. That was a special quality about Nonna: she always wanted you to be happy and she did what she could to get you what you wanted, with the tenacious spirit only a matriarch has.

I recall her standing at the door, watching our car pull away everytime we left her house to go home, and I remember the way she eagerly picked up the phone when I would call her to let her know we had reached our house safely. Ever the worrier, but with the purest of hearts and intentions.

In these last few years, I wasn’t able to converse with Nonna in the way I had always grown up loving, but I felt blessed to just sit and talk to her, even if she couldn’t reply back. I recall a visit about a year ago, where it was one of the last times I remember her replying to me in a coherent way. I hadn’t been sure she knew who I was, but as I was saying bye to her, I heard her whisper back: “I don’t have my purse”, making reference to the way she always gave me something from her purse when we would part ways. With this remark, I was comforted to know she had realized who I was, and as I say bye to her today, for the final time, I hope she knows that just being by her side was the greatest gift she could ever give me.

Nonna – today is the day I call you not to tell you I have reached home safely, but to ask if you have reached yours. I need only look to the beautiful family, community and legacy you have created to be sure you have. I love you forever, until we meet again.

*Eulogy for Santa Ostetto delivered on Friday 24th February 2023:

Ephesians 4:2-3 Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love. Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace.

Thank you to every single one of you for being here today to celebrate the wonderful life of our beloved Mother, Nonna, Great-Grandmother, Sister (sorella) Zia (aunt), and friend

Santa Ostetto.

Her story and beautiful symphony are likely known to all of us – Nonna didn’t miss a chance to remind us about her journey, whether it was growing-up in Italy and France, arriving and settling in Canada as a newcomer or all the things she did to steer and guide her family and friends on a straight path – IT’S NOT EASY . A phrase that you were almost guaranteed to hear from her when she was sharing a story or reminding us that before we did it, she had already done it!

Her story will also be very familiar to all of us because it followed almost the same path as her soul-mate, Nonno, Olindo however her’s was the debonair version – a unique style and grace that she had and carried herself throughout her entire life, across her journey from Fossalunga to Little Italy, Toronto.

Santa Pozzobon, or as her father affectionally called her “Santina”, was born on December 1st, 1928 in Fossalunga, Italy to Felice Pozzobon and Assunta Cavarzan Pozzobon. Sadly, her mother passed away from tuberculosis when Santina was 16 and she couldn’t even be near her to say her own goodbye because of the risk of contracting the disease.

She finished her primary school in France and amongst other things, nurtured her fondness for animals, especially cats. It was here that she had her first family cat, Manu, a name and character which was to become a constant throughout her life as every cat she or the family got moving forward was named Manu.

Manu no.1 was treated like a doll which she dressed and feted over. Not sure how many of you have ever tried to put a dress on a cat and been successful however that was a magic touch that Nonna had. As one of our dear family friends from the Mannochio family, Virginia, described, Nonna was Snow White, always stopping to say hello and give love to all the animals in the neighbourhood, who equally loved her back.

The Pozzobon family moved back to Fossaunga when Santa was in her teens. That included connecting two families who had each lost a significant other, with Felice marrying his sister-in-law and the family of 3, Felice, Santa and Nino, became a family of 6 with Sergio and Riccardino as Santa’s new step-brothers and eventually the late Zio Nineen who completed familia Pozzobon. That family bond is also something that Santa instilled into everyone and established a connection that has become forever engrained into generations that have followed.

She worked on the family farm which she wasn’t a great fan of but she got by, of course ensuring she always had a large brimmed sunhat to protect her from the sun’s rays. At the tail-end of the war when German soldiers were fleeing they stopped at the Pozzobon farm. Her father placed all the food on the table which the soldiers ate. However, when the bread ran out, Nonna was sent to fetch more bread from the barn, with a soldier holding a gun to her back. She wasn’t phased by the incident and I wonder if she was even contemplating giving that soldier a piece of her mind!

Its also a stark reminder of a generation that endured and overcame the horrors of war.

The word got around that Felice Pozzobon and his children had returned to Fossalunga, and the little girl that was Santa was now a stunning young woman – something else that Nonna never forgot to remind us about – “You know how beautiful I was!”

That chatter made its way through to the Ostetto household where Nonna Ostetto was talking about it as well. Zio Nanni may have let it slip to his brother Olindo that he was planning to approach Santina. However true to Olindo's/Nonnos form before ANYONE got a chance, he had made sure to make his to the front of the line and won the heart of a fair maiden.

The happy couple got married in 1952. And from there the next chapter and adventure were about to begin.

With the chance to make a new life and seek better opportunities, Olindo headed across the Atlantic to Canada and found himself working on the railways, usually in the caboose or meal-carts – putting some of the culinary skills he picked up during his time in the Alpini, the Italian Army's specialist mountain infantry. Within the year he was able to send for his new bride and daughter, their first child, Mary. On the ship across, the Northern Italian girl who was used to polenta was introduced to pizza for the first time. Although she wasn’t a fan when she tried it, pizza would become one of her many classic dishes that she became synonymous with in the years to come.

They arrived arrived on Pier 21 in Halifax in 1954 and eventually made their way by train to Toronto where a delighted Olindo was eagerly waiting to receive them.

Navigating a new country, a new language, and a whole way of life is a challenge for anyone. And Santina adapted quickly and found her stride, thanks to newfound friends like Rita Rynnimeri who took her under her wing, teaching her English and helping to get her acquainted with the new city.

Its been rumoured by unconfirmed sources a.k.a Nonna – that when they would walk along College Street, several younger Italian men would make a bee-line to her where she nonchalantly hushed them away by saying she was already married!

The Ostetto household became a gateway and starting point for several family members and friends who decided to make the same trek across the ocean – Sergio, Riccardino, Ninnin, Giovanin, Johnnie Tempesta and several others all started off building their Canadian dream from casa Ostetto.

Whilst Nonno was out and about working across the city, Nonna was the boss of the house. Where and how exactly the tenaciousness for keeping things spick and span came from isn’t quite known however she took pride and joy in keeping everything clean, tidy and in its place – something that wasn’t lost on any of her children who still have similar tendencies along with the TESTA DURA! Another Nonna legacy.

From those early days, the family grew to add Dennis, and eventually, they moved further north from College St to St.Clair & Christie – the famous 18 Winnett, which also saw the arrival of bambino no.3, Rene. This is also where Santina’s/Nonna’s legacies would become cemented.

In 1968 Olindo & Santina returned to Italy for the first time. This time, word got around that Olindo had returned and when the ladies of the town were attempting to make their beeline to him, Nonna made certain that they never got started. In 1969 Linda arrived on the scene – you can decide when the summer of love did take place!

Back at Winnett, Santina became a well-known personality. Neighbours could always count on hearing her friendly voice on the veranda and would stop-by to say hello or receive a pleasant smile as she listened to music on her radio.

Hanging out on the veranda daily also meant that Nonna became the defacto Neighbourhood watch warden with her on the west side and Givanna keeping guard on her veranda on the east side– nothing got by when the two of them were chatting away across the street from each other.

Nonna made sure to pay it forward with the same type of goodwill she had received when she had first arrived to Toronto. The love, kindness and affection she gave to everyone is something she became synonymous with.

There was always a smile in her voice to everyone she interacted with.

Friends became like family as more Italians moved on to the street. The Capos, DiGiovanni’s, Bordignon’s and especially the Mannochio’s – late Joe, Camilla, Antoinella, Tony and Virginia.

Its safe to say that Santina and Camilla became soul sisters almost immediately and what a modern generation would refer to as having the same vibe. They had each other’s back, whether it was Nonna watching Virginia when Camila dropped the kids to school or Nonna running next door to let Camilla know that Elvis had died!

Another special person in Nonna’s life who also became a sister to her was the late Zia Vanda, Father Mario’s mother. They lived together at 18 Winnett, and very quickly they became an extended family and in the few years that they all spent together, a special bond and love was created that has never changed through to this day. A great example is how often Dennis, Rene and Father Mario all being dressed in the same outfits.

Santina’s faith and her love opened the door and it is one of her greatest strengths and gifts that she gave to us in leading by example.

Speaking of outfits, Nonna was renowned for always having the final say over what the kids wore, and how they did their hair – if she wasn’t satisfied you can guarantee you were not going to be able to leave the house.

Part of the traditions at Winnett was Friday nights. That’s when all the guys came over to play cards and games – in addition to Sergio, Riccardino, Ninnin, and Johnnie Tempesata there was also the late Big Angie, Astro and several others. Nonna would have the pizzas flying out of the oven amongst many other wonderful dishes – I hear that tripe was a special delicacy often. Nonna welcomed everyone and made sure there was enough to go around

Besides running the house Nonna would also take on responsibilities as part-time administrator for Nonno’s business. She would often be jotting down numbers throughout the day and give Nonno a complete run down either when he stopped home for lunch or when he came through side door and shouted, Coco! She would also be quick to remind him that she should be on the payroll for having to take all of the messages – “I should be getting paid for all this work!” In a time when there were no emails or texts, if you had the chance to hear her interact with clients, she gave a master class in the art of conversation.

At the foundation of Nonna’s life is family. Family was everything to her. She showed unconditional love to her children, guiding them and schooling them in life. And forever the lioness as well. If she caught wind of anyone harassing her children, no matter what age, you can bet there would be a knock at the door and an earful and look that would stop anyone in their tracks.

That unconditional love extended to her grandchildren and great-grandchildren. She sacrificed and gave everything to raise all of them in some shape or form. She was a constant in all of their lives and instilled that love of family, honour and selflessness in all of them.

She gave everything she had to those around her. There was often a time when she would remind you about it as well. Remember IT’S NOT EASY!

These last few years would have been the toughest for Nonna because of the energy she exuded by bouncing around, even in those later years with her bastone, as well as not being able to chat with family and friends.

The love she had spent giving out for almost a century was returned in ways by those who helped to care for her. Strangers who became friends and more like family – Janice, Irish AKA. Bumblebee, Ella, Terry, Helen, Fina, Lucy and Carolina who were there by her side every day.

Thank you.

Forever bringing people together, Nonna spent her last few days surrounded by her family at her home, where we were fortunate and I will say personally blessed to all sit around her bed, sharing stories about her, reflecting on all the special moments we had shared with her, all the stories she had told us, sifting through photo albums and reminiscing on all of the good days we had with her in our lives.

We truly will not see someone like her again. We are fortunate to have had her in our lives all this time and she has given us an endless number of happy memories and good times to remember and honour her by.

She was the most beautiful soul anyone could ever know, and that heaven has now received.

Nonna, you will be deeply missed but never forgotten. Thank you for everything you did, gave and taught us. La Famiglia e Tutto – we love you Nonna

Ti Amo

*Eulogy for Santa Ostetto delivered by Sahar Linda Ostetto:

It’s hard to put into words who our mother was or what she meant to us. Anything good in me comes from my mother. I owe her everything.

From her, I learned about spirituality, as my mother was a woman of great faith. Her connection to God and religion never wavered no matter how difficult things became, and with this faith came an embodied goodness.

She never spoke ill of people even if they did her wrong.

She encouraged us to forgive in every situation.

She was the peacemaker and a beam of light.

She acted with compassion towards everything and everyone, be it animals, nature, or people. She did not waver in her character. I can remember walking to the grocery store or church with her and stopping to hug trees and her telling me to be careful not to step on ants. Even the stray cats gravitated to our backyard because they knew they were safe under her care.

My mother was generous and attentive. She worked endlessly her whole life for her family and in return all she ever wanted was to be near us. She was our constant: always there to greet us when we came home from school and later in life, the one you could rely on no matter what. I will cherish my moments with her and remember our trips to the mall, the grocery store, Doctors’ appointments; shopping at Winners and stops for her favorite Second Cup Carmel Corretto coffee. I loved to spend time with her on the veranda, where she enjoyed watching my children run and play.

The love she showed her grandchildren was remarkable, from the irresistible “Duddi duddi” squeezes to the classic Italian childrens song she sang while she bounced them on her knees. She loved them so much you could see it beaming from her and never once did she differentiate between them: her love was always equal.

For so many years of my life she was the person I could turn to any time of the day. She made me feel better with a simple sentence: “It’s ok Tesoro, don’t worry”. She called everyday even if it was to just ask how you are. She was the first call you got on your birthday, 7am you heard the phone ring and you knew how eagerly she was waiting to say “Happy Birthday!” and how eager you were to receive it. I will forever miss that. She was my rock and I truly don’t know how I could have made it through without her.

The last years of her life my mother struggled a lot, steadily becoming worse every year. It was the most heartbreaking thing to witness. She eventually became incoherent and I missed her terribly during this time. So many days I wished I could hear the phone ring just to hear her voice again. Absolutely nothing could prepare me for this feeling of indefinite final loss. She was a piece of me, and now it feels like a part of me has died.

Even in her final days, she was devoted to her family. My mother died with her children and grandchildren by her bedside. She fought so hard to stay with us over the last days of her life because she had to ensure the whole family was together and near her. It was through her mercy and sacrifice that we were given the gift and honor of being by her side. It is what she wanted but also what she knew we needed. Right until the end she considered us, because that’s who she was – selfless.

Part of that family is Father Mario. Father, she loved you very much and leaned on you for her spiritual support. No one could do that better so I truly thank you for that and the comfort you provided her and our family, especially in the last few days of her life.

Our mother was wise – furba, as Father Mario would say. She would tell us “I’m like a witch you know, I know things before they happen”.

She told us that when her father passed he came to her in a dream that night and kissed her on her forehead. She woke with a gasp saying: “Mio papa e morto”. She told us frequently how devasted she was at his death.

Weeks before she passed, I felt her nudging me and preparing me through dreams and floods of memories. My siblings have mentioned similar things to me.

She knew. She was getting us ready.

Our mother also told us how hard it was to lose her own mother at such a young age.

“I should write a book about my life”, she would tell us.

Mommy, remember what all your children told you as you passed, we said it out loud, we whispered it into your ear, or spoke through our hearts: we know Mommy.

We know what we need to do.”

We love you and there will forever be a void without you

Rest peacefully knowing that the one thing you fought so hard for all your life is strong.

Find happiness with Daddy.

Go and finally hug your mother and meet your father.

Reunite with all the beautiful souls who are there to greet you.

We will not say goodbye, but instead: see you in our dreams.