Dr. Maryan Koval's'kyj

In Memory of

Dr. Maryan Koval's'kyj, J.S.D. Esq.

March 30, 1940 - January 21, 2014

Written by Bohdanna Koval's'kyj, R.N. BScN

Edited by Lubomyra Leong

Toronto, Canada

Introduction

In my personal reflections, I will describe my growing years with my father Maryan to the best of my abilities by recalling past events and experiences from my memory. I will try to be as accurate and honest to portray his true personality, character and the father whom I was able to know for almost 45 years. The information that I will disclose here will be only what is relevant, meaningful and important to me. One thing I know for sure is that my father was always attentive, caring and loving to my two sisters, Yarolslava and Nadiya, and I, regardless of how busy and tired he was. Even though he became a father of three daughters at a young age (while studying full time at the Faculty of Law in Wroclaw and working part time to support his family), he was fully aware of his fatherly duties and responsibilities. My two sisters and I became the centre, as well as the most valuable part of his life. Nothing could take away from our priority or importance (except for the everlasting and omnipotent God).

Maryan’s love, devotion and the bond between us was never disconnected in spite of his broken marriage. Everything that my father did for my two sisters and I, was done because he wanted to do so and not because he had to. Throughout my reflections, you will see my father Maryan not only as a dedicated father figure, but also a great mentor, supporter and a close friend throughout my entire life. The problems, hardships and worries that I had experienced over the years, become part of his life too. My father Maryan had always found an alternative route and solution to each dilemma that I faced, as nothing was impossible to him, as long his solutions or recommendations had realistic expectations. For this, I give credit for all my success and accomplishments to my father. He always saw my true potential and he never lost faith in me. Honestly, I have to say, my father was God’s blessing to me. Without him, I would be completely lost and alone. My father knew everything about me, including my goals, dreams and desires.

The time that he spent with me over the years was never looked upon as a waste, but as an investment which has no equivalent monetary value. Instead, this investment cultivated a strong and loving relationship between a father and a daughter; one that could not be destroyed, changed or taken away, and therefore, priceless. With great honor, respect and pleasure, I disclose and present my inner feeling and memories of my father, Dr. Maryan Koval’s’kyj J.S.D. Esq.

Part 1:

Growing Up In Poland

Attending my first three years in elementary school in Poland was challenging. Considering that I had blond hair and fair skin, I blended in pretty well with my Polish classmates. However, my distinctly Ukrainian name, Bohdanna, constantly created obstacles and discrimination towards me. As a result, I was looked down upon, and treated differently by my school community. Some teachers rejected and refused to say my name because it was not Polish and sounded too Russian to them (even though it is a Ukrainian). Therefore, I was called by any Polish girls' name that started with the letter “B”. Although my classmates at school were reasonably nice to me, I could tell that they were wondering “Why does she have such a weird name?” based on the puzzled look on their faces.

Since Poland and Ukraine’s past history derived from many distorted and inaccurate facts and information, it resulted in hatred and discrimination towards Ukrainians who lived in Poland. Therefore, living in Poland did not bring equality to all people such as me. However, Gypsy and Jewish people who composed a very small minority group, were treated with better respect and dignity compared to the largest Ukrainian minority group in Poland (300 000). I would now like to provide a brief explanation as to why so many Ukrainians end up living in Poland: Before World War Two, the present south-eastern part of Poland actually belonged to Ukraine. However, just before the war ended, a secret pact to create new borders between the eastern and western territories surrounding Ukraine was made in Yalta (in Crimea, near the Black Sea) by Churchill, Roosevelt and Stalin. Expanding Poland’s south-eastern borders into Ukraine’s territory resulted in a large percentage of the Ukrainian population to live in Poland over just one night. Although I am Caucasian and Christian, I was still treated differently based on my Ukrainian ethnic background and affiliation with the Greek-Orthodox Ukrainian Church, rather than the dominant Roman-Catholic faith in Poland. Therefore, I was born into a Ukrainian family that lived in Poland during difficult these socio-political times. During the time when I was growing up, there was little hope for a positive change in the relationship and attitude of Polish people towards Ukrainians. I was aware that my situation and circumstances were felt and experienced by many other Ukrainians who lived in Poland.

In order to preserve and pass on Ukraine’s culture, language and religion to a new generation, Ukrainians living in Poland had to endure countless unjust acts of the Polish government, institutions and others in silence for many years. I once asked my father why he gave me such an important and distinct Ukrainian name. With a caring and calming voice, he explained that he specifically selected my name Bohdanna because it holds a very important meaning, "Boh-" is God, and "-danna" is given, and it corresponded well with my being and personality. Maryan told me that I should never think less of myself, but to be strong and think of my name as a positive aspect. I was told that one day, I would be proud and happy of having such a unique name given by my father (It took me almost twenty years to understand and appreciate my name until I came to Canada).

The first time that my name, Bohdanna, had been rejected was during my birth registration process, fulfilled by my father at the official provincial institution. He was told that any person who was born in Poland was required to have a Polish name. Therefore, no other different- sounding or foreign names could be given by parents to their children. I think that anyone could imagine how my father felt. However, he was not surprised or shocked about the Polish discriminatory tactics; especially that he was not allowed to give his child such a meaningful name, or any Ukrainian name for that matter. He felt that his basic human rights were stripped and taken away, and that he was ready to appeal and challenge the crooked law system in Poland.

Knowing my father (who did not plan to follow strict official government regulations), he brought the unacceptable matter to court. In his heart and mind, he knew he was doing the right thing. He was not going to be bent and broken like a branch from the tree. Instead he was going to stand firmly on his ground like a solid oak tree. Contrary to everything that was pressed against him, my father had to present his case in court by himself after living in the country for only 7 years and being 27 years old. There were two factors that were not represented about my father by the official lawyer. First, he was not able to have a lawyer to represent him in court for two reasons. A Polish lawyer would not appeal for a Ukrainian man in Poland, even though the case was legitimate. Plus, it would not be beneficial for the Polish court to change the implemented discriminatory policy. Secondly, as a law student, this appeal became my father’s first case in court. He was fully aware that he was not defending a client but presenting his own case. Honestly, I’m not sure if I could have had as much courage, strength and determination as my father did.

At this time, I will provide an additional explanation as to why my father and his family moved to Poland. My father lived in Ukraine until age of 19 and in 1960 decided to move to Poland with his family. The main purpose of leaving Ukraine and moving to Poland was the opportunity to migrate to one of the western countries later on. Continuing to live in Ukraine became impossible for my father’s parents. Moving to Poland was only meant to fulfill a temporary need, and definitely not for the long term. Unfortunately, when Maryan’s parents finally arrived in Poland, major political changes had occurred, resulting in closed borders to the Western countries. By moving to Poland, my father had not anticipated such unnecessary and superficial issues, sanctions and discriminatory measures from various official institutions and his colleagues.

In court, my father defended his position to the best of his abilities. At the end, my father was granted a permission to give Ukrainian names to his three daughters. My father had won, even though his strong Ukrainian background was not well welcomed. His argument was that “your name is your identity and reflects your ethno-cultural background. It connects to your family roots like the leaves that are attached to the branches of the tree. If the tree is not looked after, then the tree will stop producing its fruit”. By living in Poland, my father had no intention to assimilate into the Polish society or to become a Pole. Contrary to other people’s assumptions, my father specifically searched for a Ukrainian (Lemko) wife, with whom he continued to maintain the traditions and language of a Ukrainian family. Sadly, many Ukrainians who continued to live in Poland did not challenge the court system as my father did. To this present day, many Ukrainian children in Poland only carry Polish names. One other very important fact which I almost forgot to mention is that all Ukrainian people’s last names are changed into Polish spelling in Poland as well. For example: Vynnyk becomes Winnicki and Kovalskyj becomes Kowalski. As you can see, Ukrainian last names no longer exist in Poland, and people’s ethnicity is erased from official registration papers, and other important documents. Even though Poland is a democratic country were ethnic minority groups are supposed to be welcomed and respected, the reality was opposite. By doing so, the Polish government started to carry many other drastic measures toward innocent Ukrainians in Poland and demonstrated strong anti-Semitism at the same time.

Growing up in those days, I was aware that I was not Polish even though I was born in Poland. I knew that I was different from my neighbours based on my ethno-religious background. I simply belonged to Ukrainian family which lived in Poland. At home I felt safe and secure by speaking to my father and sisters in Ukrainian. Towards my sisters and I, Maryan was always a warm and soft spoken man. However, on a regular basis, he spoke to me in Ukrainian amongst other people on the street. By doing so, my father planted a seed in me to not to be afraid or scared when using a language other than Polish in public. His method of teaching was rather simple, but very effective. He knew who he was and where he came from. No amount of the official government’s threats and sanctions that he had received during his stay in Poland (for 25 years) would weaken, change or influence him. My father was very strong and resilient by maintaining and preserving his language, culture and religion. He told me this one day: “Just because you started to live in a new country, you are not required or obligated to deny, forget or abandon your heritage”. During these time, the unofficial discriminatory actions that were carried out notoriously against Ukrainians who lived in Poland were at the tip of an iceberg. Take for example, when Jewish people were scattered across Europe over the centuries, and the fact that they were not pressured to assimilate or forget everything that was part of their culture and religion (except during the Second World War, when they were persecuted by Germans). Instead, they were given freedom to preserve and maintain their heritage. If Jewish people would accept and assimilate into each new country then they would seize to exist in Europe. Similarly, the Polish government purposely caused many Ukrainian families to be completely detached and isolated from other Ukrainians by spreading them throughout Poland. Those families had two choices: to either make do and survive on their own, or to assimilate into the Polish society. Unfortunately, Ukrainians who were forced to stay in Poland due to border changes, did not receive the same treatment and respect as Jewish people did, even though they represented a much larger percentage of the minority group. As a result, I would often get an annoyed look from someone on the street, or hear racist comments when I chose to speak in Ukrainian. To tell you the truth, I didn’t waste my energy on this. Thanks to my father, I had received self- esteem while growing up in a difficult environment. Even though I was only eight years old, I became mature enough to comprehend these issues.

In those days Ukraine’s diaspora in Poland did not have any Ukrainian programs on the T.V. or radio. Only one national newspaper called “Our Word” was printed weekly in Warsaw with limited press. Sadly, some families gave in after lacking desperately needed support and encouragement from other Ukrainians in Poland. These severe, unjustified sanctions were created by the top officials in government during 1956-57 called secret action “Wisla”. Since the Ukrainian population lived together in one part of Poland, due to border changes after the Second World War, they had become the immediate political threat and danger to the country. Due to the government’s actions, the entire Ukrainian population that occupied the eastern part of Poland was resettled immediately. The government’s main goal was to spread the Ukrainian population across Poland, so that it would weaken their bonds and ties with each other and eventually led to faster assimilation. Within several hours most of Ukrainian villages in the South-Eastern part of Poland become deserted and empty. People had to leave everything behind taking only a few possessions with them to cargo trains. There was a lot of crying, commotion and complete shock amongst the panic stricken people. No one informed them why they had to leave so abruptly and where they were going. Meanwhile, new Polish families occupied previously empty houses, and the beautiful, centuries old Ukrainian churches were completely destroyed and burned to ashes. Sadly, due to such drastic measures, only 1% of those Ukrainian churches survived to this day. Therefore, Polish Roman Catholics of the time were exterminating Ukrainian-Greek Catholic people without any provocation or true cause. My mother and her parents were no exception and became part of this very quick resettlement process. Overnight, they end up living in a small village located in the South- Western part of Poland. They had to settle into an empty house, deserted by a German family, who also had to leave right after the Second World War (After the war, Poland expanded their border to the West, causing many Germans to flee, even though they lived on that land since their birth). The people in the village were not pleased to receive strange new neighbours like my grandparents. Even though my grandparents were the only Ukrainian family in the village and were completely separated from the rest of their family, friends and community, they never lost their Ukrainian spirit. To the last days of their lives, they spoke Lemko, a Ukrainian dialect, and continued to maintain their culture and traditions.

So much unnecessary harm was done to many innocent Ukrainian people. To this day, the Polish government has not admitted their wrong doings towards Ukrainians, nor they given a formal apology. I would like to say that not only Ukrainian people became innocent victims from the communist government but Polish people as well. The communist government manipulated, brainwashed and used its own people take part and carry out their plans of discrimination and dirty tactics against Ukrainian people. Most people in Poland had naively believed what they were told and simply followed the government’s orders to avoid any repercussions. You were condemned if you did and you were condemned if you didn’t. Can you blame the general population in Poland? Personally, I definitely cannot. However, those tragic events that happened to Ukrainians in Poland become a dark chapter in Polish history. To this day, students in schools are not provided any information about it as though it had never happened. Those brutal and tragic events which occurred to my grandparents and other Ukrainian people had continuous negative ripple effects on my parents, and even on me.

In those challenging times, Maryan was my emotional support, counsellor and guide. I really do not know what I would do without him. Although I grew up in the difficult socio-political times, I have special memories in my heart about various places where I used to grow up in Poland, especially about the old medieval city, Cracow, which is the second largest cities in the country. Full of great architecture and old history, Cracow reaffirmed its role as a major national academic and artistic center. On many occasions, my twin sister, Nadiya, and I would stroll through many of our favorite streets, plazas and stores. Each time when came back from Canada (only twice during my 27 years of absence), brought tears to my eyes. While visiting Cracow and other beautiful places in Poland that are so unique and different compared to other countries in Europe, I had the opportunity to reconnect with my memories from the past. Even though Cracow is a much smaller city in comparison to Rome or Paris, I strongly recommend exploring the city for yourself.

Even though I am not Polish but Ukrainian, I have a deep love and appreciation for the country where I was born and raised. On my last visit in September of 2012, I have noticed a remarkable shift and positive changes towards the Ukrainian Diaspora in Poland. During the Ukrainian religious holidays, Polish Catholic priests along with Ukrainian Priests performed church services together. In the olden days, it was an impossible task to accomplish. With all the differences and hostilities from the past between Ukrainians in Poland and Poles put aside, true reconciliation and a peace were achieved. As we say, with time, wounds and scars will be healed. Over the years, Polish people have realized that not everything they heard or led to believe was always the truth. Unfortunately, it took 50 years to achieve this religious peace and harmony. At the present moment, international relations between Ukraine and Poland is based upon positive support, cooperation and understanding. What was impossible in the past became reality at the present time. It is a huge step forward and a big progress for Poland and its people. Thank you to all Polish people.

Living in Cracow, my father Maryan continued to maintain contact on a regular basis with the rest of his family members who decided to remain in Ukraine (his older sister Iryna along with her husband and two children). For him it was very important that Iryna and her family were not completely separated from her parents and the rest of her siblings who were now living in Poland. Therefore, my father took responsibility of sending formal invitation letters to his sister every few years. This kind of procedure was mandatory and required by the government (at that time nobody was allowed to travel from Ukraine to Poland without receiving an invitation letter from a friend or family member). I vividly remember those family reunions at my father’s place in Cracow. It was not only a big event to me, but to my other sisters as well. It was the only time when I got the opportunity to get to know my aunt and her family. My father’s two bedroom apartment became even more crowded, noisy but very joyful and happy.

During family reunions, my dad’s two bedroom apartment became even more crowded, noisy but very joyful and happy. I was eager to provide any help in the kitchen with preparing meals and listened attentively to the adults’ conversations. Having family reunions for about a week or so not only provided me the opportunity to get to know the rest of my family members from Ukraine, but also reminded me about my family’s roots. My father always created a pleasant atmosphere by singing old Ukrainian folk songs along with the rest of us. I remember my father would take out his beautiful blue accordion that had a very rich baritone sound and started to play. Meanwhile, my older sister, Yaroslava, would join my father by playing on her violin, and my cousin Halya played on the piano (Both of them had graduated from the faculty of music and became professionals). Later on, Nadiya and I would join the rest of our family in singing old Ukrainian folk songs. My father’s motto was that “if you have any talent, you should use, develop or expand it instead of putting it to waste”. I must say that because of my father, I got the privilege to know and appreciate Ukrainian songs. Passed on from one generation to the next, these folk songs are so old that nobody knows who wrote and composed them. Those songs are simple in melodies however they teach you many things about life and love in general. So many of those songs are dear to my heart and I like to listen to them on CD’s to this day (I literally grew up on them). Through music and songs, I learned a lot and gained a better appreciation for my culture, country and history. I realized that because of these folk songs that were passed onto me and my father, I am more emotionally connected with Ukraine even though I never had the opportunity to travel there. Although my father’s family was reunited for this short time, we enjoyed ourselves by doing rather simple things together. Singing and playing music not only had occurred during family reunions but also when there was a spare and quiet moment at home, or when my father was in a mood for some music. Since my twin sister Nadiya and I were attracted to music, we would simply sit down near our father Maryan and quietly listen to him playing on his accordion. Shortly, both of us would start singing along. I could tell from my father’s facial expression that he was pleased to hear our voices. He would smile at us and nod his head. All of us were in perfect harmony. Because of those simple activities, I have received personal gravitation and enrichment. I understood that Ukrainian culture and traditions could be expressed through many forms of music and art. I believe that because of my father’s great appreciation and passion for music, and I became greatly influenced by this as well. While growing up I had found out that singing became a natural thing for me to do, however, until now, I was not able to follow my dreams.

Living with father allowed me to do everything with free will. If I was interested to participate in any family activities, I was very welcome. Sadly, so many parents today put pressure on their own children to excel in many extra activities that supposed to be good for their growth and development, but in reality cause more damage and harm (especially hockey and baseball in Canada). That’s what I love my dad. He gave me the freedom to select activities that I was interested in. Maryan once said “the best results you can achieve in your children are when they develop their own interest, desire and motivation. Otherwise, precious time and energy is wasted.” I believe that my father’s words are the true essence of parental advice to any parents who want to help their children to reach their goals and desires.

When I was about six or seven years old, and although I was at a rather late age, I began to take interest in riding a bike. Without any delay, my father took out a bike from the storage in the basement and gave it a good tune up (my two sisters and I had only one bike that we had to share between us). My father had taken me to a bigger park and gave me basic instructions of how to ride a bike. Afterwards I was told to sit on it and put everything into a practice. Contrary to my father’s good instructions, I was doing just the opposite. I wiggled the handle of the bike and constantly removed my feet from the bicycle’s pedals. Because I was not paying attention to my father’s previous instructions, I was riding in a zig-zag shape instead of a straight line. My poor dad was running after me and continued to remind me how to ride a bike properly. I’m not sure who was more tired in that process, me or my dad? However, at the end of my wild bike ride, my father told me that the “next time will be much better, since the more you put into practice, the better results you will receive”. My father was never disappointed or discouraged in spite of my slow progress learning to ride a bike. He always stayed positive and kept my spirits up. However, it took me some time to ride a bike with confidence.

Another sport activity that I became interested to play was badminton. Again, my father Maryan had offered me basic practice techniques. The sport mostly requires concentration, strength and a quick response. Where I grew up, tennis courts were not available in the residential areas (usually allocated in sport arenas for professionals only). In this sport I did not have as much difficulty as riding a bike. When the weather was good and without much wind, I would grab the rackets and start playing with great enthusiasm. However I always preferred to play with my dad instead of with my other two sisters because he was a more challenging opponent. Most of the time, my father tried to accommodate and accept my request to have a match with him. However, he had two other daughters who wanted to play with him as well. We all wanted to impress him with our good badminton skills. To be fair, he allocated half an hour with each of us. By doing so, my father gave equal time and an opportunity to play badminton with him without leaving anybody out. However none of us paid attention that our father become very tired by the third match (his right hand became quite sore). He did not want to disappoint any of us and continued to play, because we were all important to him. What a great dad I had.

I was never bored at home, even though my father did not have a television until I became a teenager. My father had more important things to do in his life; therefore television was not his priority. First of all, he focused on his career by obtaining a doctorate degree in law and raising his three young daughters. My father believed that it was more beneficial to listen to the radio which provided variety of good music and interesting programs for his young daughters. By doing so, my father helped me to develop a curious mind and a great imagination. My father already had expanded that idea by reading bedtime stories to us in the evening when we were young girls. I remember the times when Maryan was reading many stories and legends from one big Ukrainian story book. When Nadiya and I were settled in bed, my father would start reading a story selected by one of us. Many times I would fall asleep before hearing the end of the story. On the following evening my father had to reread the rest of the story again. However, the greatest thing that I remember was his calm, soft spoken voice which was so relaxing to listen to. My father’s soothing voice and right intonation felt like a small stream flowing smoothly upon small rocks in the mountains. Listening to my dad’s stories not only increased my imaginations, but seemed magical as well. When reading these bedtime stories, my father displayed proper emotions and feelings, causing the main characters to become very alive and real to me. Listening to those bed time stories was a great pleasure and became my favorite part of the day.

Because of my father’s positive influence and value in books, I have developed a passion to read many and various books as well. Maryan once told me that by reading, “you may not only increase your knowledge and understanding about various matters, but you also have the opportunity to get to know the author. Books are your friends and they enrich your life. Through reading many books, people become smarter, more intelligent and more knowledgeable. Individuals may approach you for advice and suggestion, not because of your position or status but only because of the knowledge and expertise they possess”.

Whenever my father had some time after work, he would step by his favorite bookstore located in downtown Cracow. Most of the time, he ended up buying several books (newspapers were not at the top of his reading list) that were important to him, as he treasured and valued them. My twin sister and I were always happy to keep our father company in the bookstore. I liked to look at the books that displayed panoramic views and pictures of foreign cities and other countries. By doing so, I had the opportunity to find out more, and to get familiar with the Western world (in those days people in Poland were not allowed to travel abroad). My father gained most information and knowledge from books (except while doing research studies and analysis from journals and articles for his master and doctorate degrees). At home, he acquired a decent collection of Ukrainian literature, philosophy, albums, etc. Maryan had only one complaint regarding his books. They were always expensive, and having three daughters to raise it required skillful budgeting. I am aware that in the past, my father preferred to buy his long awaited book from the bookstore instead of spending money for his lunch at work. Many times, my father preferred to go hungry as long he was able to have enough money to buy his desired book. As a result of my father, I have not only developed a passion to read books, but became an excellent reader in my young age. By second grade, I was already reading books that were designed for students in eighth grade.

Since my early years, I have been aware that my father not only had musical talent, but also attained a great command of writing skills. My Father’s written works were not only related to his profession, as they included philosophy, history, and religious poetry. His writing gave him the opportunity to express his thoughts, perceptions and inner feelings. Writing provided Maryan with a personal fulfillment and satisfaction, and he was doing so with a great passion (he started to write poetry when he became sixteen years old in Ukraine). Especially through his religious poetry, my father revealed how he related and understood God. By reading his poetry, I had found out that Maryan maintained a very strong faith and deep bond with the omnipotent and almighty God. Even I had derived my own spiritual strength from my father’s poetry. During his twenty six years living in Poland, none of my father’s collection of religious poetry could be published. Under a communist regime, it was very difficult to publish books with religious content (only Polish Bibles and church books were permitted, but with very limited print). Secondly, most of my father’s poetry was written in Ukrainian and not in Polish, therefore it became out of the question. Due to difficult times, my father decided to read his poetry to my sisters and I, therefore we became his primary audience.

While reading my father’s poetry, I got to know him better as a person. In addition, I became aware that my father is a very sensitive and compassionate person to the pain and tragedy which others have experienced, and most of all, of his love for God. Above all, his religious poetry which serves like a prayer, not only moved me to tears, but gave me spiritual support and understanding. Personally, I compare my father to the prophet Job from the Old Testament of the Bible. The more hardships and obstacles (both professional and personal) my father had endured in Poland, he focused and directed his trust and true love towards the kingdom of God. With every breath of his existence, my father’s faith and love for God grew and expanded. Absolutely nothing in his life could alter or change his personal feelings and connection with God (not by imposed communism by the government in countries, not a broken marriage, and even not a fulfilled career to its full potential). Even though my father’s life had many twists and turns, his close connection with God was as straight as an arrow. Never weakened, broken or changed.

Another thing that my father taught me was not to be discouraged of incomplete projects in life, because they are only a temporary setback. Many times I wished that other people would have the opportunity to read my father’s poetry because it would help them to straighten their faith, find peace, happiness and their real purpose in life. In the past, it seemed to me that my father`s poetry would never see the day light and simply end up collecting the dust in his archive instead. I have realized that sometimes, you need to be patient and wait for the right time to fulfill your life’s goals and dreams. And that’s what my father always did. He never rushed with things or any problems that he faced throughout his life. He would always analyze the dilemma, check different options or find any other possible solutions. When you are not able to be patient in life, so many mistakes can happen throughout the process. However, when the right time came, my father had decided to leave Poland permanently.

After twenty seven years, his first collection of religious poetry was published by Basilian- Ukrainian priests in Rome. Since that time when my father left Poland, several other collections of his poetry have been published into books and more are in the process. However, his first poetry book which was published in Rome (in 1986) is my favorite and closest to my heart of all my father’s books. I was very happy for my father when he had received his first copy of his book from Rome. My father’s advice given to me in the past regarding personal dreams and goals in life were finally fulfilled. Sometimes certain things in life are truly worth waiting for.

In addition to writing, Maryan composed music on his spare time and played the accordion, guitar and harmonica very well. Some of his talents were passed to his daughters. My twin sister Nadiya and I were gifted in singing and were actively involved in a Ukrainian choir for five years; whereas my older sister Yaroslava, became a professional musician who played the piano and viola. When Yaroslava was a young girl, my father noticed that she had a good sense rhythm while dancing when he played his accordion. He realized that my older sister had inclination to music and enrolled her into a musical school to play the violin. Even though the it is not an easy instrument to learn, Yaroslava began taking music lessons. For countless hours, my dad ended up listening to the squeaky sounds of her violin before the nice melodies she finally produced later on. He continuously provided positive feedback and encouragement during her practice sessions at home. He was her greatest mentor and supporter throughout all her years of studying music. Because of my father, my older sister continued to play on two instruments (piano and viola) in spite of many obstacles and challenges. Maryan believed that my older sister would one day become a very good musician. In time, his feelings and predictions came true when Yaroslava, successfully graduated from the faculty of music at Jagiellonian University in Cracow, obtaining not one, but two masters degrees with honors.

I have to admit that growing up with my father gave me the opportunity to travel to various places in Poland and abroad. While living in Cracow, my father would take my sisters and I to various interesting places and attractions available in the city such as botanic gardens, the zoo, museums and music concerts performed at by the Philharmonic Orchestra. We all appreciated the old history and medieval architecture of the buildings in Cracow. Living in the city provided me with many opportunities to see something new and different. A wide variety of concerts and street entertainment were presented thorough the year for the public. For my father, it was important that my sisters and I were not only familiar with classical and contemporary arts and music, but that we valued and appreciated it as well. Through the regular exposure to arts and music, my sisters and I came to appreciate human creativity and talent. I believe that frequent immersion in cultural activities which I experienced along with my two other sisters, enriched and enhanced my life very much. On many occasions, my father would take my sisters and I outside of Cracow, to be connected with the nature. In the summertime, I remember breathing in the fresh air of the forest and listening to birds’ songs. In contrast, during the wintertime, I would go cross country skiing along with my family for short distances. Usually my father became a leader of the group however; he always listened and was receptive to his daughters’ different plans and ideas. Nothing was written in the stone, as he was very flexible and easy going. During those mini trips, my father entertained us by telling crazy jokes, riddles and mystery stories. Having a father who had good sense of humor and a great imagination was a true blessing.

From my father’s discussions, I found out that during his younger years, (before I was born) that he had travelled across other eastern countries such as the Czech and Slovak Republics, Hungary, Romania and Yugoslavia. He had great interest in history, architecture and nature. Since money was tight while travelling (you were only allowed to carry a certain amount of currency) he usually ported a good smoked sausage (kolbasa), bread and fresh garlic in his travel bag. It was his basic staples which provided enough energy and kept him in a good shape. While visiting various markets, he would mostly buy fruits and vegetables. My father’s motto was: “if you truly want to experience other countries, you need to be there physically and see it with your own eyes.” Pictures and films cannot give you an accurate three dimensional perspective or the same cultural exposure. Seeing, hearing and tasting are three crucial parts which make up the adventure. Unfortunately, my father had taken a limited amount of pictures from that time; the ones that do exist are kept in an archive with great care.

When I was a teenager, my father took my sisters and I for a vacation in the Carpathian Mountains (they are the highest peaks in Eastern Europe). It takes about one day to get there by train, with two interchanges from Cracow. The place where we stayed was not a resort, but a private residency at a house. From the third floor window, I could see a narrow, overhanging bridge above the cold running river with its fast and strong rapids (the hanging bridge was the only passage to cross from one side to another). During the windy or rainy day the bridge would swing violently from side to side. Only in certain spots where the water was calm and deep enough was I able to swim and play with my sisters and father. Even an expert swimmer had to be careful and watch for undercurrents and hidden slippery stones in the river. However, I enjoyed drinking cold and refreshing water from the deep well and breathing fresh forest air in the early morning hours the most. You could never get such a tasty water and clean air in the city. You had to be in Mother Nature to experience these simple things. While walking through mountain’s forest, I had to be very careful to accidently step on the small poisonous snakes that were well hidden under the shrubs. On most mornings, we were greeted by the warm sunrise and singing birds which were in the trees near the opened window. It was a real pleasure to be so close and connected with the nature. Only during the heavy rainstorms did the birds cuddle together and stay quiet. Most of the time, my father was in charge of buying groceries and preparing meals that were simple and nutritious, but also very tasty. As for my sisters and I, we were responsible for washing the dishes and pots and keeping room tidy. While my father was helping in preparing meals for his girls, he would sing songs or tell all kinds of stories about what had happened to him in his younger years. Some of my father’s stories were so funny that my stomach would become quite sore from laughing. I must say that it was part of his personality to be social and funny even though his profession required serious thinking. While vacationing, we would stroll by the river each day, and sunbathe on the big large stones by the river. On other days, we would look for wild mushrooms in the forest or would take a short boat trip further out on the lake. Everything went well while spending time in each other’s company in the Carpathian Mountains, until we had an exploratory trip to a small deserted island one day.

During our vacation in the Carpathian Mountains, my father decided to take his three daughters out on longer boat escapade. We had to walk for half an hour towards the lake since the river was too shallow and had too many rapids. My older sister Yaroslava and my dad took turns of rowing the boat and my twin sister Nadiya and I had entertained them by singing our favourite Ukrainian folk songs. Our singing voices spread across the lake and I could tell from my father’s face that he enjoyed it very much. We were his joy, pride and happiness. Maryan was well aware that all his time which he invested into us was priceless. From a distance, my father spotted a partial island, but what really had caught his attention was a cross visible above the trees. My father had recognized that it was a Ukrainian Orthodox cross and became even more determined to investigate that place. The beach of the island was covered by small rocks and stones and the rest was covered by the dense, thick, old forest. We had noticed that nobody lived there, since no houses were present on the island. We decided to walk towards the centre until, we reached the right destination. Upon our arrival, we had discovered an old deserted Ukrainian church which was vandalized and in complete ruins. The entire church’s roof was missing and some walls that were barely standing still revealed faded Ukrainian Orthodox paintings. All of us were faced with the terrible past which had happened not very long ago to Ukrainian people In Poland that recently lived here (in 1956 most of the Ukrainian population, about 95%, that lived in the south- eastern region was forced to leave and dispersed across Poland, as I talked about previously).

The most distressing and aggravating thing to see about the Ukrainian church was that it had been turned into a barn for the cows. It was completely disrespectful towards the holy land which had served as a place of worship. I could see that my father was emotionally and spiritually very upset. It was very painful and sad experience for all of us. Sometimes, the past comes back in a full circle and we become part of it, whether we liked it or not. Later on, my father wrote a very moving poem dedicated to that ruined church that once belonged to Ukrainian people, and was eventually published by the Basilian Press in Rome (religious poetry and philosophy were his main focus of his writing through the most part of his life).

When my twin sister Nadiya and I completed third grade of elementary school, my father asked us if we were interested to attend a Ukrainian school instead of continue going to a regular Polish school. My sister and I were very happy and delighted to hear such great news because, for the first time, we would be in a friendly and positive environment, one that we only felt in my father’s home. We were so excited to go there that we started to pack our suitcases right away! However, there was one catch. The Ukrainian school was 360 km away from home, and we could only come home during winter and summer breaks. Hearing that didn’t even take away from our enthusiasm or interest of leaving home. Maryan felt that this school would give us a better opportunity to learn Ukraine’s language, culture, history and music. My father was willing to be separated from us for extended period of time, as long as our new Ukrainian school could give us a positive environment to grow and study, as he always wanted the best for us. Since Maryan was a divorced man who did not have permanent custody of his twin daughters, he had to request my mother's permission. Unfortunately, she was not happy about my father’s idea of sending two young girls far away from home for an extended period of time. However, my older sister Yaroslava managed to change my mother’s negative opinion, and gave her permission to go to Ukrainian school. Having the green light, my sister and I started to pack our small suitcases which had to carried, not rolled.

In the first week of September, my father took us for a long train ride overnight to our new school. The school and dormitory were located in the small town of Bialy Bohr in the North-Western part of Poland. The population was 10,000 to 15,000, where half of the inhabitants were Ukrainian (due to forced resettlement in 1956 by the Polish communist government). This town was appealing to my father for its nice landscape and fresh air from the nearby forest. Unfortunately, my father had to carry our suitcases for 1 km from the train station towards the town since a taxi was not available in the early morning. For 2 days, my dad stayed with us to make sure that we were settled down and got used to the new environment and living accommodations (we were the only children from the entire school who were away from home the most). Later, it was time for my father to return home after giving us big bear hugs and kisses on the forehead. Then he looked into our teary eyes, and said that he loved us very much and promised that he would see each other at Christmastime. With great sadness, Nadiya and I let our father go back towards train station.

From that moment onwards, we became aware that other people would be responsible for looking after us every day. We believed that we would be happy and feel secure in this new place. After a short while, we found that other Ukrainian children of parents, who made the same decision as our father, had to stay in the dormitory just like us. In a short time, my sister and I get to know our new teachers and finally were able to have Ukrainian classmates. Since we had a very good talent for singing, we became important and indispensable members in the choir for the next five years. Being part of the choir gave my sister and I the opportunity to sing at various Ukrainian concerts and festivals across Poland each year. Our music teacher was very impressed that we sang so well and knew so many Ukrainian songs. Thanks to our father, we not only gained singing experience, but we also had a good knowledge of the Ukrainian language. We became a good example to the rest of the students in our school.

Living in the boarding school for five years taught us to be more independent and responsible; whereas teachers became our mentors, and second parents. Over the years, my Ukrainian teachers were very dedicated and devoted to raising and nurturing the many young children who came to the boarding school, leaving their parents and homes behind. We became one big family where each child was loved, and protected. Our school, along with the boarding house became a second home for us. There, we felt the warmth and support of teachers and peers (to this day, I maintain contact with some of my favorite teachers and classmates). Our days spent learning and growing up in boarding school came to be crucial years of forming our views, becoming independent and preparing for adult life. In the meantime, my father corresponded with us regularly about our new life and progress in Ukrainian school. (When I moved to Canada I was pleasantly surprised to see that all the letters that I wrote to my dad were well preserved. To him, my simple childhood letters were valuable and very near and dear to his heart. There are certain things you cannot duplicate or reproduce again if something is lost or damaged, and these letters fall into this category.) In addition, my father occasionally sent parcels with snacks and goodies for Nadiya and I to munch on. We really appreciated his surprise gifts. To this day, I am very thankful for my father`s wise decision of sending us to Ukrainian school. Even though my sister and I were far away from home, we learned a lot in the process. Staying in Ukrainian school for the next five years truly enriched our lives with cultural activities that provided us with very fond memories. In spite of the distance and lengthy periods of time apart, Nadiya and I never lost our close connection with our father. In the past, on one occasion my father mentioned to me that “when you truly love your children, you always desire the best possible options, even though it may require a temporary separation.” Being a parent of four children, I completely agree with my father’s statement: "Sometimes, we have to make decisions that may not be appealing at the moment; however, they may become the best solution or outcome in the future."

My father was always very happy to see my twin sister Nadiya and I during the winter holidays and summertime. Especially over the Christmas holidays, my father made sure that we would go with him to a local market and get everything that was required for tree decoration and our special Christmas Eve dinner. At home, our kitchen became very busy and crowded place during that time, as most dishes required lots of time to prepare and cook. My older sister Yaroslava was responsible to cook the traditional Ukrainian soup, Borshct (mostly made up of beets), and my twin sister and I were to make homemade pierogies with mushroom sauce and other dishes. Traditionally, our Christmas Eve supper consists of twelve special and elaborate dishes; however, my family only managed to make half of them. In spite of fewer dishes offered on the table, my father appreciated our hard work and best efforts. We in turn, were delighted to see that our father liked the taste and smell of our prepared food. There is one particular Christmas Eve supper which stands out more than others in my memory. After the festive food was arranged nicely on a plate and served to my father, I was surprised to see that he did not begin eat. Instead, he requested to bring plates and sit down with him at the table, where he began removing pierogies from his plate and putting them on our plates instead. Once the food was evenly distributed, he was ready to eat with us. For me, it was very moving experience knowing that my father would not start to eat without his daughters. From this, was moved to know that we were as valuable to him as he was to us. In addition to our Christmas feast, my father would also book a visit from Santa to deliver presents and to see us in person. If Santa was not available, my father dressed up and pretended to be Santa Claus himself, as he truly did not want to disappoint his daughters. I believe that my father acted this way since he hardly got any Christmas presents when he was a small child growing up during the Second World War. In those difficult days, his parents focused on the safety of their family and providing themselves with something to eat. Any small presents such as toys, or unnecessary gifts for my father were probably not considered to be important. Considering that he did not receive any presents as a small boy, Maryan made sure that each of his three daughters would get something extra special for Christmas. I thank my dad for always trying to do and give us his best, and for proving that it truly is the thought that counts.

On Christmas day, my sisters and I woke up early that morning, and with great excitement had discovered beautifully wrapped presents full with all kinds of goodies to eat placed next to our pillows. Even when the economic and political crises fall upon Poland in 1980, my father went to a special store designated for foreign employees who worked at embassy, and bought several chocolate bars and chewing gums for each one of his teenaged girls with American dollars. Knowing that my father obtained them at a very high price with foreign currency compared to Poland’s degraded money; I have realized that my father made a big sacrifice for us. With highly valued foreign currency at hand, he could have bought a necessary and important food for the whole family which would last for a week at least. However, Maryan had an entirely different plan. Instead, my father preferred to sweeten our difficult times in Poland with chocolate bars and chewing gums. I remember that each time when I was eating one of those chocolate bars, it had reminded me of his love for my sisters and I.

In addition, I recall another event at home that particularly stands out in my memory. We were all in the kitchen preparing supper wile my father was sitting at the table. All of sudden, something black flew into our kitchen and made lots of noise and commotion. My sisters and I got scared while my father continued to sit calmly at the table. After a few seconds, we realized that the black flying object was just a young crow. Once the bird stopped flying and making noise all over the kitchen, he sat down on the table by my father. From the crow's eyes, my dad saw that the bird was scared and confused. He began to talk to a crow in a calm and friendly voice as though it was a human being. Immediately, I saw that the bird relaxed and enjoyed my father’s company and interaction. Later on, Maryan asked the crow if he would like to eat supper with us. To my surprise, the crow seemed to understand and responded yes with a big loud "crah"! My father then offered the bird some dry cottage cheese and bread, and together we ate. The crow had a very good time and so did I. Following our meal, my father let the bird outside. For me, this was the longest and closest encounter I had with a black crow. After that situation, my attitude and feelings towards crows became more positive. From this incident, my father taught me that all creatures should be treated with respect and dignity, regardless if I like them or not, because all of them were created by God. Each creature has its function and purpose in nature. From that time on, I was no longer angry at the crows for making lots of noise in the early hours before I went to school. Instead, they became my unusual friends. While walking to school the next day, I looked for the crow that flew into the kitchen. Unfortunately, they all looked the same to me, and I had no luck in finding him.

My father has pointed out to me that dangerous creatures, like snakes or crocodiles have benefited humans. A snake’s poisonous venom can be turned into medicine, whereas a crocodile`s skin is used to make leather purses and shoes. In addition, a snake is the symbol of medicine and doctors, and not of death. Because of my father, I began to have a deeper understanding and appreciation for the animals and creatures in nature. The most important message that I have received from my father was, that any creature (especially small and weak) should not be harmed or destroyed, because each one of them wants to live. In other words, be caring and respectful to any creatures, regardless of how dangerous or unpleasant they are. All animals, birds and insects have their special place and purpose on this planet. Hence they create a perfect balance in their ecosystem and in the animal kingdom. Unfortunately, so many wild and farm animals are mistreated and dealt with cruelty today. Animals are just like humans because they posses feeling of sadness, pain and fear as well. As my father once said to me in the past, “we must be respectful but cautious around animals, so that you will not be harmed.”

Regarding my parent’s divorce, my mother automatically had full custody of Nadiya and I, whereas my father had only received custody of my older sister, Yaroslava, since she had declared that she would rather be with him instead of my mother, during the court divorce proceedings. The judge had accepted and respected her decision since she was already 12 years old at the time. Even so, I was aware that both of my parents wanted to have all three children together, but it unfortunately did not turn out that way. By growing up separately from Yaroslava, I felt that I became slightly disconnected with her. On the other hand, whenever I had a small break from school or during summer vacation, Nadiya and I would travel together by train to be reunited with our father and our older sister in Cracow. In particular, I recall one winter break when my sister and I were not able to visit our father as we usually did in the past. I had assumed that my father was either visiting his family in Ukraine or on a business trip to Russia. However, I later found out from my mother, that my father was no longer residing in Poland and was somewhere in North America for an extended period of time. Furthermore, my mother did not know when her ex-husband would be back, or even if he was planning to come back to Poland at all. At this news, I was shaken and became very scared, since I wasn’t prepared to hear anything like this. I was very distraught and disappointed that I did not have a chance or the opportunity to say good bye to my father. At that point, I had realized that I lost my father and I did not know when I would be able to see him again. To make things worse, I did not have many pictures of my father in my album. Knowing that my father was far away in the distant country over the sea, those few pictures that I had with me became very valuable to me as I had difficulty accepting that I was no longer able to be with my father. At the time, I felt that our contact would be possible through correspondence only. As a result, my heart felt empty and lonely. Unfortunately, I could not change anything about the situation, and my life would suddenly become very different.

Based on other people’s conversation, I was aware that if anyone got the opportunity to leave or escape the Eastern block country to West, they usually did not come back. Most of the time, they left behind their life’s accumulated material possessions and even their immediate family members. During that time, Western countries like Canada and the United States were offering prospects of a better life and much more freedom compared to any communist or socialist country. Even though my father was divorced from my mother for several years already, my twin sister Nadiya and I continued to have an affectionate and close relationship with our father. Although both of us were ordered by the court to remain with our mother, our father who lived in a different city knew very well each one of his daughters’ strengths, weaknesses, and personalities. Yet, his sudden and unanticipated leave from Poland, created a feeling of great loss and emptiness inside me. From my past experiences that I have accumulated over my growing years with my father, many happy memories gave me some consolation and comfort. In spite of everything that has happened, deep inside, I felt that my father would come back to Poland from the United States because he loved and cared about his three daughters very much. I just had to wait and see, and most of all, to be patient.

After six months or more, I had found out that my father returned from his extensive trip from North America to Poland. It was the best news that I had ever heard in my life! I felt so ecstatic and happy that all my fears and sadness had disappeared like dew on the grass in the early morning hours. I was very anxious to see and be with him again. Eventually, when my father saw me later, he told me that he had returned to Poland only because he left his three young daughters, who still needed father’s love, guidance and support, behind. Although my father Maryan was free man in the West, he felt that was not free yet from his fatherly duties and responsibility of his three young and growing daughters, even though he did not have custody. While staying in Canada, he was offered to teach international law at York University which was impossible for him to do In Poland. That opportunity had occurred for two reasons: that my father had refused to belong to a communist party that was mandatory in order to receive a teaching position at any university in Poland; and because he was open about his Ukrainian ethnic background. In Canada, my father had much better opportunity of getting remarried, publishing his written works into books, and starting a new life. Since my father was divorced for some time and did not have custody of his two younger children, he was advised by his friends and extended family members not to return to Poland, but to remain in Canada instead. Maryan was told that by staying in Canada, he could easily support his three daughters by sending them money, enabling them to buy anything they needed back at home. In other words, my father’s absence would be substituted with material things. In spite of a very positive future for himself in Canada, my father decided to return to Poland from North America at the end of his trip. My father simply turned his back to everything that was offered in Canada because it was not the right time for him to stay.

Hearing Maryan’s response, his relatives in Canada could not understand his ultimate decision. Many people told my father that by staying in Canada was a once lifetime opportunity, and that he would regret his decision one day. By returning to Poland, my father had denied himself a better future, and most of all, his freedom that guaranteed him to be treated with respect and to fulfill his professional career by teaching at York University. However, there was something more important and crucial in his life. It was his three young daughters who still needed father’s attention support and guidance. Since the beginning of our existence, we became his primary focus and the center of his life. For my father, nothing could become more important or take priority above us. He could never leave or abandon his three young daughters as his fatherly role and responsibility was not finished yet. He felt that the best way to show a true father’s love was to stay and be with his children, even though the chance of a better life in Canada had to be put on hold. By doing this, my father not only made a great sacrifice, but showed his dedication towards his young, growing daughters, as well as his honesty and integrity. I am so grateful that my father made a right decision in those difficult circumstances. I am positive that if my father had decided to remain in Canada, he would have lost a fatherly bond, love and close relationship with all his daughters that could not be recaptured later on. The irony in life is that you often cannot have two things at the same time. You may gain something, but then you generally also lose something as well. Therefore it’s crucial to really think about what you’re about to pick and choose (if there is even a choice).

The time of Maryan’s return to Poland was very important and crucial to my sisters and I. Back then, Poland’s economic and political situations deteriorated so rapidly that they caused a huge financial chaos in the country. Consequently, the communist government was overtaken by the military regime overnight and Martial Law was declared across all provinces in Poland. I vividly remember that all of these things happened one week before Christmas in 1981. At that time, my sister and I were staying in Ukrainian school, far away from home and our parents. It was supposed to be a quiet and regular weekend, but it turned out to be the most unanticipated and dramatic event that affected everyone in Poland. The Martial Law led to many years of turbulent and difficult life for all people in Poland. As a result, every small town and city was patrolled by military tanks and soldiers. People were in a state of shock and panic as nobody knew what was happening to their country. Along with my classmates and teachers, I also found out that the military made a coup over the communist government in order to establish so called “social stability and order” in the country. During those difficult and stressful periods in Poland, I needed to be with my father more than ever before. Luckily, my father had just returned to Poland from his extensive oversea trip, meaning that he was no longer in a faraway country (Canada), living happily, but was staying with all his three daughters in Poland. Maryan was available to provide his fatherly emotional support and guidance, and was present from the beginning to the end of the Martial Law. Soon enough, the military regime was opposed by working class people who organized massive strikes in major cities on regular basis. Following this, a new solidarity movement with its own party was born, and became a real threat to the military regime. The people in Poland had rightfully demonstrated for changes that would bring true and positive results to everyone. Even the Catholic clergy, along with Pope John Paul II fully and openly supported Polish people in Poland. The workers’ demonstrations were huge in scale and dangerous, which typically resulted in clashes and physical confrontation with police and military. In the outcome, military personnel were quite brutal and harsh when dealing with people on strike. They used extensive force that was available such as tear gas, batons, tanks, dogs and guns which were permitted. During these strikes and clashes, nobody was spared or omitted. The leaders of the Solidarity Movement were notoriously interrogated and put in jail. As you might be able to tell, the military regime in Poland was as crooked and terrible as the previous communist party. However, the acquired freedom and newfound independence from the dominant and overpowering Communist Party and Russian influence brought final and lasting victory to Poland. Freedom did not come cheap and easily, nevertheless it was worth fighting for. Due to Polish people’s resistance and fight against the military regime and oppression lead other eastern-block countries to follow their footsteps. Poland’s fight for freedom and independence became like a spark that ignited and spread like wildfire to other surrounding countries in Europe. During those difficult times, Polish people became strong and united together in power and spirit. They had realized that their future life and freedom were at stake if they did not stand up and protect their rights.

During the Martial Law, I am aware that my father was not discharged from the Polish army, and was kept on standby (my father maintained the rank as a second lieutenant). I recall one evening, when high ranking officers knocked on the door and had a lengthy discussion with my father. Shortly after, I found out that my father had refused to participate or have any involvement in any military actions against frequent strikes organized by Polish people. My father was not interested to be part of or to be dragged into such disgraceful and shameful military practices. He would not allow his expertise and knowledge to be used for the wrong purpose. With a full conscience, my father washed his hands from any military involvement, even though he knew that there could be serious consequences for him from the Polish military regime. I was worried about his safety even though I did not say anything about it. My father’s decision of not being involved with the military made me proud of him as he did not have doubts or second thoughts about his actions and decisions. My father’s message was to “always try to do the right thing, so that one day; you would not have any regrets”. Later on, I was thinking, if my father had not returned from North America, he would not have to experience or be part of those serious economic and political crises that penetrated country for at least five years. However, my father had chosen to be with his three daughters instead of the prospect of a better life and freedom immediately available in North America, as we were the most important to him. Therefore, he declined to stay in North America, regardless of other people’s opposite suggestions and recommendations. My father did not fall into temptation of the great opportunity of a new life for himself in Canada. Absolutely nothing could replace or take higher priority over his daughters. He felt that his fatherly duties and responsibilities were not finished yet, as he still had lots of work to do even though he did not have custody of his twin daughters. For this I am extremely thankful to my father for not following other people’s advice and for listening to his own heart. I am aware that it was a huge sacrifice and compromise on his part. Everything that was available in the West was put on hold so that my father could be with us instead. Honestly, I do know if there is another person like Maryan who would be willing to abandon their new- found opportunities offered in the West and come back to a communist country full of very serious political and economic problems.

At the end of Martial Law, the military regime along with communist party were successfully abolished, giving true democracy and deserved freedom to all Polish people in Poland. Later, every soldier and military officer that was involved during the Martial Law in Poland was faced with their own unnecessary actions against the people of Poland. Their past became the ugliest and darkest chapter of their lives. I hope that some were able to be honest and acknowledge their mistakes, because true soldiers are supposed to protect their country and its people.

During those five turbulent years, life in Poland became very unstable, difficult and unpredictable. Since most basic food supplies were hardly accessible to the general public, food stamps were implemented by the government. For everyone, food became the primary focus, as you never knew what you were going to eat next day. Instead of doing homework assigned from school, my sister Nadiya and I would have to stay in line for many hours just to bring home some food to eat. During the Martial Law, my father shared and experienced every hardship throughout the difficult days with us. In spite of everything that was happening in the country, my father was content and at peace because he was with his three daughters when they needed him the most. He provided us with his love, guidance and protection. During those hard times, my father Maryan remained with us not because he had to but because he wanted to. We were the most important and precious people in his life. Nothing else mattered, not even new opportunities or freedom in North America. As he said to me later on, “it was not the right time yet, and I am glad that I did not make a dreadful mistake.” I must thank my father from the bottom of my heart for choosing my two sisters and I instead of a new life in Canada. Even though my father did not have custody, he still returned to be with us. What a sacrifice and commitment my father had done for our benefit. Growing up in those unstable years taught me not to take things for granted, but to receive everything with grace. I learned to be thankful for each day because you never knew what kind of day tomorrow would be.

My father’s life in Poland was not only difficult during political and economic crises but even in previous times. As a young immigrant at 19 years old, he had to learn new a language rather quickly and find a new job to aid his father Eugene, in supporting their large family. In the beginning, my father held numerous blue collar jobs that required both physical strength and stamina. With improved language skills, my father was promoted for better and more responsible positions. In spite of having better paying work, my father’s true intentions were to continue his studies at a higher institution. Luckily, within two years, my father was accepted to study law at the University of Wroclaw. His first year at the faculty of law was rather challenging and stressful; however, in the following academic years, he not only improved but became the top student in certain classes (At that time, my father was married and had three daughters while holding two part time jobs to support our family). My father tried his best to balance his family life, work and studies at university. I believe that it was very difficult for my father to carry three demanding responsibilities at the same time.

As I got older, I found out that my father had decided not to pursue a career as a lawyer in courtroom. There were several factors that contributed to his final and ultimatum decision. My father was aware that most lawyers who worked in a court house were required to be active members of the communist party. Without that, it was very difficult or almost impossible to work as a lawyer or to perform any judicial functions in court. In reality, if any of the accused happened to be a member of a communist party, that person would receive preferential treatment. Such practices were kept on regular basis and it did not sit well with my father’s ethics at all. He felt that judicial system carried double standards and he could not accept, tolerate or be part of it. Secondly, the atmosphere in court was always tense, stressful and depressing that would definitively affect his emotional well-being and even the relationship he had with his children. My father could not compromise his high moral standards and ethical values and continue to practice a crooked law in court system. Once, my father told me that “if you are not able to carry out a law, you are not honest to others or yourself”. All knowledge that he had received during his studies at university went out of the window, because in reality, just the opposite was happening in the judicial court of Poland. For these reasons, my father preferred to work in an office that did not have anything to do with law, instead of becoming one of the dishonest and crooked lawyer in court. My father also chose not to practice law in spite of many years of studies and preparation at university. It was a huge loss and sacrifice on his part. Considering this, I have a great respect for my father because I know he made the right decision in that case. Maryan used to say to “always do the right things so that one day you would not have to regret it.”

In Cracow, my father worked in the office of the Institute of Oil and Gas in Cracow forover a decade. He maintained position as a researcher and analyst that sadly had nothing to do with law. My father was very diligent with his work by providing accurate written analysis, recommendations and best possible solutions to various problems arising in many scheduled projects. In the meantime, my father was pursuing a doctorate degree in international law and cybernetic system at the Jagiellonian University in Cracow, where up to this day it is the most prestigious and famous university in Poland (at that university, a famous Polish astronomer and mathematician named Nicholas Copernicus studied there as well. He formulated a heliocentric model of the universe which placed the sun, rather than the Earth in the centre). Within two years, my father Maryan had received a doctorate degree in international law from the Jagiellonian University. Unfortunately, my father was not able to obtain a teaching position at university, even though he had right credentials and expertise. Again, there were two major contributing factors that prevented my father to teach at university. In order to receive a teaching position, my father Maryan would have to become a member of the communist party which automatically guaranteed a desired position and status at university. It was like having a free ticket for a baseball game. However, my father continuously refused to belong to the communist party in order to receive a teaching position.

As I grew older, I understood that my father did not study for a teaching position at university but to expand and deepen his knowledge and understanding of science and law. For him, knowledge was like the key that unlocked the door to infinity and beyond. I had discovered my true dad who always maintained and focused on real values, principles and essence of life. Over the years, I found out that my father held many professions and talents that covered a huge spectrum of topics. First of all, he was a poet, philosopher, lawyer, journalist, scientist, historian, musician and even a composer. My father read everything that was important, intriguing and interesting to him. Nothing was off limits. Any reading materials were always analyzed for its validity, authenticity and if it held any merits. In the end, my father would give his own conclusion and opinion. Throughout my growing years, I began to talk with my father about anything and everything. I began to develop great respect and admiration for his extensive knowledge, wisdom and intelligence (If I would have only 1% of his knowledge, I would be very happy). Secondly, my father did not hide his Ukrainian roots and background that automatically resulted in disqualification and unofficial discrimination in Poland (Fortunately, these practices are less prevalent today). My father accepted other people’s decisions and wrong doings against him, even though he had done nothing wrong. Sometimes I wonder and asked myself this question: “Why do bad things happen to a good, innocent people? Were my father’s honesty, judgment and integrity being tested by God?

While my father continued to work at the industrial company, he was publishing various research articles and journals related to his studies at university. However, on some occasions my father would be invited to attend and present his articles at various symposiums at the Jagiellonian University in Cracow. Once time, my father told me a very unique but also funny event that had occurred to him at one of these symposiums. My father was invited to present his thesis paper regarding “free information flow” during the communist era, in the 1980’s. Many distinguish professors, doctorates and important dignitaries were present at the symposium. During the other professors’ presentations and lengthy discussions, my father, Maryan got rather bored and tired and lost interest in listening all together. Instead, he let his eyes wander, looking at the opened window or the clock ticking on the wall. Their proposed ideology of “free information flow” was completely contradicting with my father’s true principles and ideas. When it reached my father’s turn to present his proposed thesis paper to his colleagues, the entire room went into complete chaos by the end. With a calm and reassuring voice, my father had declared that Poland and even the entire continent of Europe did not require having borders, and could be unified. Instead, he felt that people should be able to travel freely from one country to another, and be treated just like birds. Everything that was done against human nature and freedom would cause people to rebel and protest. My father presented his simple principles and ideology during symposium that “birds did not need borders, and they always came back to the same place. Therefore, people only want to travel a little bit, see other countries, buy some goods and even work for a while should be able to do so freely. Just like birds, people would come back to their country in the end.” Everyone who was present in the room got very upset with my father’s outrageous ideas and propositions. Someone yelled that “it is not going to work, because Europe would go into chaos!” Someone else questioned my father openly, asking whose side he was representing, East or West? Finally, someone spoke up and said, “He is representing himself.”

Now, let me tell you what happened next. My father’s proposed ideologies were not only rejected by all professors, but were not allowed to be published in the journal. However, at the university’s symposium there was a rule: if one thesis paper could not be published for some reason, therefore other papers would not be published either. Following the symposium, every professor was grumpy and moody because they lost the opportunity to publish their “important” papers in the academic journal as a result of my dad. From that time onwards, Maryan was hardly invited to take part in any future symposiums at the Jagiellonian University, simply because other professors were afraid that he would come up with some other crazy ideas again.

As you can see, my father’s future proposals and ideas not only revealed his true and correct ideology regarding countries without borders, but also predicted the future for all of Europe that happened 20 years later. Today, most European countries no longer maintain their borders and people are allowed to travel and work freely. My dad stood up for his true beliefs and doctrines even though they were totally disregarded and rejected by others. At that time, the professors were not able to accept my father’s concepts and ideology of a unified Europe because they were not open to new possibilities and ideas. They became rigid in their beliefs. Later on, they lost their arguments and my father happily won in the end. He knew that he was right.

Interestingly, my father’s statement which compared people to birds was experienced by me personally. When I was growing up in Poland, I did not understand why a German couple was returning every few years to my grandparent’s house in spite of the 35 years that had passed since the Second World War. Upon their return from western Germany each year, they were so happy and content for the few days they spent in Poland. I questioned myself “What brought them back, and what are they trying to recapture?” Finally, I understood the true meaning of the birds when I left the country in my later years. You see, in nature, birds do not require borders to travel, because they know where they were came from. They always come to the same location consistently every year, regardless of the distance and hours spent flying. Therefore, people should be treated like birds as my father said. Even though I am Ukrainian, I love to come back to my home city of Cracow in Poland, which is the place that holds the memories of my childhood. For people, a physical border or even the land of the present country is irrelevant. It is the location or the birth place that people want to come back to recapture their nostalgic feelings and memories from. That’s why people believe and feel in their hearts, that they belong and are still part of their old place even though they may live in different town, city or country. How true and accurate my father’s words were, even though it was disregarded and laughed upon by other professors at the university.

Knowing my father for half of my life, I can say that he never made any decisions without consulting me or my sisters first. He would not do anything against our wishes or desires. Our happiness was paramount to him. During the family meetings, each one of us was entitled to speak our thoughts and opinions that were accepted and evaluated by our father. In other words, every suggestion was considered and evaluated with his open mind. I must thank my father Maryan for being so honest and respectful towards us. In addition, each one of us could approach and confide in our father about anything that troubled us. He had a good ear to listen and always came up with some alternative answers and solutions. Maryan was very patient and calm with us, even though we would be rushing him sometimes. He was a trusted friend and counselor. Over the years, my father did not change his values, integrity and principles. He was the same yesterday, today and even tomorrow. He never gave empty promises because he was always trustworthy and reliable. To have such a father is true blessing from God.

In the course of my studies at school in Poland, my father was a reliable and indispensable source of support and guidance. After graduating from elementary school, I was unable to pass a mandatory high school entrance exam. It was a very stressful and difficult time for me because those exams determined your ultimate future education and profession (To this day, all students in Poland write high school entrance exams). You could have high aspiration and great plans for yourself, but if those entrance exams did not bring positive results, then the high schools doors were closed for you. I will say that high school is a place of privilege and not taken for granted in Poland. Any student who was able to continue studies in high school was treated with respect and admiration. Therefore, my future possibility of going to university or college was completely erased. I ended up going to trade school even though it was not my choice.

In a short period of time, my life was turned upside down. I let down not only myself, but my parents as well. Even though I became a complete failure, my father did not give up on me. Instead, he gave me hope and encouragement saying that even in the worst situations there was always an alternative and possible solution. For one full year, I had attended trade school and following September I was accepted to study in high school by learning each course at home and coming for exams only. The positive change happened only because my dad. My father knew my full and true potential. He believed and had faith in me; that I could become successful and graduate from high school just as other students, as long I would be diligent and consistent with my studies. With my father’s support, guidance and tutorials, I had competed all my credits and passed my final exams, and had obtained a graduation diploma from high school in the end. What was impossible in the past became a reality at present. Holding my graduation diploma in my hands gave me the possibility to continue my studies at the university level. My dad turned my life around. He became my constant and endless mentor during all my studies. My dark and gloomy past became bright and happy future. Because of my father, I rebuilt my self-esteem and confidence which resulted in being able to succeed in school and to follow my dreams. I am very thankful for my father’s love, support and faith in me; in spite of my failures during my challenging years at school.

When my twin sister Nadiya and I turned 18 years old, we became interested in wearing elegant clothes and jewelry. Having three daughters at home, my dad had bought a good selection of jewelry over the years, which prepared him well for the future. When the right time came, my father had displayed all jewelry in front of us and told to select anything we liked and or desired. My father even brought my twin sister, Nadiya, and I to a clinic to pierce our ears so that we could wear the earrings he gave to us. In addition, we were given extra money to buy ourselves purses, shoes, jackets and so on. Having three daughters to raise, my father required good budgeting skills with his finances and expenses in order not to run out of cash. We appreciated his generosity and his financial support. However, one day we started to complain of not being able to eat outside on frequent basis. Our father was very surprised to hear such disturbing news all of a sudden; however he had quickly realized that his daughters did not understand the value of money and proper budgeting. My dad solved the problem with a very simple method that was fast and effective. He paid the basic condominium expenses and the rest of the money that was left over was handed to my twin sister Nadiya and I. In no time, we had learned that even buying grocery staples (milk, bread, butter, meat, etc.) every week did not give us any extra money for dinging out. For my father, it became the perfect opportunity to teach his young daughters to be responsible and independent with money management and grocery shopping. Engaging us in life with basic and practical skills in Poland gave us a good start in Canada.

Since my father was divorced from his wife for more than ten years, he began to look for a new female companion to share his life. My father corresponded with many beautiful women of Ukrainian descent from Western countries such as Austria and Spain. The women were impressed by my father’s wisdom, knowledge and intelligence and became very interested in him. Each one of them was ready to be with him. My father had great hopes of getting married with one of them which would give him the window of opportunity to leave the communist country and begin to live freely with his three daughters abroad. However, there was a one problem. All those women with whom my father had corresponded were interested in him only. My sisters and I were not part of the package. We would become too much of financial burden and other responsibilities to them. The women from abroad had assumed that my father would leave us behind in order to fulfill his personal life. However, how little they knew about my father. As soon he found out about it, he stopped responding to their letters all together. My father did not regret of letting go of those beautiful and available women from Western countries. He did not have doubts or hesitations regarding his consciously chosen decision. My father told me: “If you truly love your children, have complete commitment and dedication, and never leave or replace your children in order to pursue or fulfill your own personal life.” My two sisters and I were his pride, joy and happiness. We were the most important part of his life. Nobody was more worthy and paramount than us, his three daughters. I really appreciate that my father kept us close to his heart. I have realized that it was a total commitment and true sacrifice from my father. He could have easily left us behind in order to fulfill his personal life. But he did the opposite. He told me “one day we will leave together when the right time will come.” I was so grateful to hear those words. I am glad that my father was not like a Solomon from the Old Testament, who was chasing many women and had many wives to satisfy his ego and lust. My father was honest to himself and to us because he knew his true priorities in life.

My father had tried to leave Poland one more time by corresponding with a Ukrainian woman in Canada. After half a year of correspondence with my father, she finally came to Cracow to see us. The lady from Canada had nice personality and very pleasant to us. However, she indicated that she was interested to be with my father only. Again, we were not part of her plan to have us in her future family. In the end, my father helped her to pack her suitcases and nicely sent her back to Canada. If his children were not part of a package, then she would not have him either. My father got annoyed and tired of those women who were interested in him only and wasted his precious time. Later, my dad decided that he would find another route to leave the communist country in spite of having a setback. From that time on, he stopped having interest or any relationship with other women. He had enough of them. Looking back, I know that my father was glad that he did not make a mistake by accepting other woman’s conditions but rather hold on to his three daughters and continued to provide them with his guidance, protection and unconditional love.

In the following days, my father had informed my two other sisters and I of his plans to leave Poland permanently. We were given a free choice if we wanted to go with him or not. Without any doubts or hesitation we all wanted to leave the country. Since Poland was experiencing major economic and political crises and continued to have an unofficial discrimination towards Ukrainians, living in the West was the best option. During our last days in Cracow, my sisters and I strolled along our favorite places and visited the cemetery where our grandfather rested, for the last time. In August 1983, we all left Poland to Italy by joining religious group to meet with John Paul Second. Each one of us was allowed to carry one suitcase to travel abroad. We packed the most essential items and important clothes to wear. Everything that my father had acquired in Poland, like a good amount of savings in the bank and a fully furnished condominium were left behind. My father was not attached to material possessions, therefore, it was not difficult for him to let go. For Maryan, it was a huge success and accomplishment to take his three daughters out of the country safely before it would become too late. It was a huge task and responsibility that my father took upon himself. My dad took most of his important documents and my sisters and I carried his hand written poetries under our clothes. During our customs inspection at the airport, we prayed that we would not be stripped and search on random basis. It was a huge relief when all of us stepped on Italian soil and our worries and tensions were finally over.

Part 2:

A Stop in Italy

For one year, Italy had become my family’s transitional country and new home before we obtained the required immigration papers in order to move to Canada. Although temporary, my stay in Italy was the best time of my life. Every day, we tried to see something new and different in the beautiful city of Rome. Along with my father, Nadiya and Yaroslava, I had visited many churches, basilicas, chapels, historic places and other attractions. On sunny days, we spent time walking outside through narrow streets lined with beautiful houses, markets and plazas. Whereas on raining days, we visited indoor attractions, such as museums where I was fascinated and impressed by human creativity and talents that were created and demonstrated in painting and sculptures over the centuries. Living in Italy for a whole year gave me a spiritual renewal while deepening my knowledge and understanding of ancient history and civilization.

While exploring the city, the amount of goods and clothes sold in small shops, famous stores, and plazas overwhelmed me. Everything was displayed and arranged beautifully to catch the attention of both locals and tourists. Given my situation, I definitely could not afford to buy any of those clothes; however I had some foreign currency that allowed me to buy small souvenirs. Either way, I was very happy to window shop while strolling along the charming streets. My other daily excursions included frequent visits to the local markets and exploring some unusual sites like an Italian cemetery, as well as a Jewish Synagogue. I truly liked the noise and exciting atmosphere at the local markets which gave me the opportunity to talk with vendors. The place at which we stayed provided three healthy meals during the day. My father, Maryan had been supplementing the rest of our diet with fruits, like bananas and oranges (which were hard to find back in Poland), bought from the local market.

Generally, people in Italy were very friendly and always ready to provide directions to lost tourists in the city. On several occasions, my sisters and I were invited to restaurants to have a rest from the afternoon heat and to drink aromatic Italian coffee. I was very grateful for the generosity and goodwill from the Italians to whom I was a complete stranger. Although, my ability to speak Italian was limited, I had the opportunity to meet interesting people and make new friends along the way.

The most popular attraction was St. Peter’s Basilica located in Vatican City. I was impressed by its huge and enormous structure. For almost a week I admired religious paintings, sculptures and rose gardens in the Vatican City. Being the center of Christianity, Rome marks the place where the first Christians and the chosen apostles of Jesus were persecuted, tortured and killed. The ruins of the famous Coliseum displayed the reminder of the tragic past of devoted Christians who were eaten alive by the hungry lions. With this in mind, other people’s pain became a source of pleasure the citizens of Rome, and especially for the upper class. In this case, these horrific times had resulted in something good. Many of Rome’s pagans accepted Jesus as the only way to God and heaven and became Christians.

While seeing the ruins of ancient temples and palaces in Rome, my father had not only encouraged to admire the architecture but as well to reflect upon the history and its consequences. After some time, I realized that the Roman Empire could not have lasted forever. Any kingdom that was based on human exploitation, inequality and oppression had disappeared into ruins and dust. In spite of severe persecutions from the Romans, the first Christians showed their faith and determination to spread the Word of God according to apostle’s teachings and Jesus message, even if they had to do so under ground in secret. It was the first Christians laid down the foundation and the beginning for the true Christianity which had eventually spread like wild fire all over the world.

The highlight of our stay in Rome was the opportunity to have a close encounter with Pope John Paul II in the Vatican City. During the private audience, we were stricken by his warmth, openness and friendliness. The blessed Pope John Paul II not only touched my heart, but also millions of Christians around the world. He truly understood and listened to people’s voice and because of that, he was trusted, respected and loved by most people. I was impressed by its huge and enormous structure. For almost a week I admired religious paintings, sculptures and rose gardens in Vatican City.

On several occasions, my family would take a short train ride from Rome to a small resort city called Ostia, located by the Adriatic Sea. Most of the time, the ocean greeted us with gentle breeze and mesmerized us with its light blue color. However, the most unusual sight was the black sandy beach with sparkling silver mineral deposits that almost blinded my eyes. The contrast of the blue ocean and black sparking sand was breathtaking and mesmerizing. In the beautiful sunset, my family and I strolled along the shoreline for many miles, breathing in the iodine and collecting sea shells. I praised God for being so thoughtful for creating such wonderful nature that covered the world to please everybody’s senses. To sum everything up, the time spent in the resort town of Ostia provided relaxation and rejuvenation from the very crowded and noisy ancient city of Rome. I found the beaches in Italy, as beautiful as the ones in Greece, Spain or France.

During my stay, my family and I visited Ukrainian priests (of the Basilian order) living in Vatican City. That was my first time meeting other Ukrainians who were from a different and distant country like Brazil. To my surprise, the majority of the Basilian priests who came from Brazil (Parana) spoke fluent Ukrainian despite being the third or fourth generation. Their main mission was to not only deepen their spiritual faith and knowledge, but to publish and distribute Bibles, religious books, magazines, and journals to the Ukrainian diaspora around the world (Western Europe, North America and Australia). By publishing and distributing badly needed religious materials, the Ukrainian Basilian priests in Rome had provided many Ukrainians with many religious books that were impossible to obtain, otherwise available only in East European countries. Over the years, the Ukrainian Basilian priests in Rome have displayed great commitment and dedication to supporting many Ukrainians with religious books and prayers. They became the instrumental force and leading role in supporting Ukrainians around the world. Since my father’s writing focused on religious poetry and philosophy, he spent a significant amount of time debating and discussing his understanding and concepts with Basilian priests. I must say that my father’s understanding and interpretations of basic religious concepts were quite different compared to Roman Catholic or Orthodox teachings. Nevertheless, the Basilian priests were impressed and touched by my father’s poetry. A few years later, they were published in Rome. In the following years, more books were published, however, the first one (The One Above Everything) is still my favorite.

When my family’s stop in Italy approached its final days, my sisters and I began to prepare for our eventual migration to Canada. I had a great desire to move to Australia, since the continent was less known to me and had a more pleasant climate. However, my father indicated that we all would be travelling to a distant country, Canada that he visited in the past. When all of us had passed three successful interviews at the Canadian embassy in Rome, we began to learn everything about our future home in a distant country. Upon leaving, it was difficult to say goodbye to friends and people whom I got to know well for almost a year. My temporary stay in Italy had enriched my life and provided me with beautiful and lasting memories. I will always treasure and appreciate Italian people for their generosity, openness and hospitality.

Part 3:

A New Life in Canada

As my family and I were arriving in Toronto towards the end of May 1985, I was able to see a beautiful modern city spread on a vast amount of land from the airplane window. For the first time, I saw that the structure and layout of Toronto were completely different from any European city. All my life I used to live in a city that was very compact with buildings and twisted roads. Instead, Toronto city looked like a microchip to me with its straight streets running from east to west. Once it was time to leave the plane, my father told us to go ahead of him. We, his daughters, were the first ones to stand on Canadian soil. With a smile and happiness in his heart, my father looked at us from behind, knowing that he had successfully accomplished his mission.

At the airport, my father filled out the required documents before we retired to a small, but comfortable motel close by. After a good night’s rest, I had the chance to taste maple syrup that had a distinct flavor with big pancakes for breakfast. I was even more surprised when I found out that maple syrup was obtained from a maple tree. This is the place which my family called home for our first three months in Canada before finding a suitable apartment.

Being in a new country provided each one of us with great life opportunities and possibilities. For my father, Canada became his fifth country of residency already (Ukraine, Germany, Poland and Italy) whereas for me, Canada was my third. I realized an interesting fact; my father was 19 years old when he moved with his family permanently to Poland from Ukraine. I was 19 years old when I moved to Canada from Poland. We both had similar challenges such as learning new language and getting used to living in a new country. In the beginning, my sisters and I did not have any friends, however I never felt lonely or isolated since my father had a good sense of humor and he supplemented us with funny Ukrainian jokes and jests. I truly appreciated my father’s easy approach and his simple philosophy to life. On many occasions, my dad, Maryan invited my sisters and I to discuss anything that was important or interested us. Since my sisters and I were young adults, nothing was off limits during family meetings. Everyone’s opinion was considered, respected and evaluated by my father in order to achieve the best possible solution for each one of us. My father was always interested to hear our opinions and point of view, even though sometimes he did not agree with us.

While living together, I enjoyed my father’s company and his emotional support. When we had spare time on the weekends, my family would go to different parks and enjoyed having picnics together. Once, I had the occasion to spend some time at Wasaga beach over the weekend. Unfortunately, I did not apply enough sunscreen and ended up with second degree sun burn (I was very red from head to toes and my skin became very tight, hot and painful to a slight touch)! The doctor at the emergency hospital near by the beach had instructed me to use a special medicated cream that was rather thick and pasty. Since my skin became very sensitive to touch, the prescribed cream was almost impossible to apply. Upon seeing my badly sun burned body, my father had a great pity on me. He did not give me any lecture or criticism to make me feel small or stupid (at that time I was already 23 years old). Instead, my father propped extra pillows under my body to provide extra cushion and turned me on regular basis since I was not able to do it by myself. Later, my father had developed his own medicinal remedy by combining several special oils together and applied it three times a day on my sunburned body with bird feathers. Within one week I was completely healed and recovered without having any complications or scars on my body. I was so grateful and thankful for my father’s immediate assistance and help during my painful life experience. Whereas my father was happy that he was able to provide me the right and effective natural remedy. Such careless behavior from my part taught me a life lesson to not fool around under the hot sun without enough sun protection.

In the fall, we admired array of beautiful colors gradually changing on the trees. Even the best painter could not create such a beautiful picture of the fall as nature did on its own. While relaxing in the park, my father not only received the opportunity to connect with Mother Nature and to get fresh air, but also to come up with new concepts, ideas and reflections which he wrote about in his poetry and philosophy pieces. Many times I was fooled, thinking that my father was having a nap while relaxing in the park. Later he would reveal his new thoughts and ideas to us. My father’s brain never ceased to slow down, regardless of his age or condition. When most people go to sleep at night, my father began his work with writing and reading. During the night, my father reached optimum concentration and obtained the best results with his work at his office. With any type of project, my father was always very diligent, concise and did everything with precision. During his life, my dad read books, journal and articles that were interesting challenging or controversial. After, he would analyze and evaluate the content for its validity and its merits. By the end, my father gave his own opinions, often with a new approach or solution to the given topic. When the right time came, he would share his knowledge with me while clarifying and explaining various topics that were difficult to comprehend or understand for me. Having discussions and debates with my father on a frequent basis helped me to get to know Maryan better and brought us closer together as well. His knowledge and understanding were passed to me without any reservations. Free of charge, as people say. I am glad that my father did not change his approach and attitude to life. In spite of many obstacles, my father continued to live in a simple and practical way that enhanced his quality of life that brought him happiness. I admire my father’s wisdom, intelligence and knowledge that covered wide spectrum of disciplines such as natural medicine, astronomy, science, history, politics and etc. But most of all I admired my father that he always searched the truth, authenticity and validity in any reading materials.

My first years in Canada were typical life of a new immigrant. In this new country, attending school not only gave me the opportunity to improve my language skills but as well to make new friendships with other students. At the same time, I was overwhelmed to see so many people of different races, religions and cultures who spoke in their own unique accent. During my first 2 years, I spent my time learning and advancing my written and oral skills in English, so that I would be better prepared for further studies at the college or university level. Meanwhile, my dad had advised me not to rush with things, but to allow for time so that I could reach the right decision regarding my future profession. Even though I already had a high school graduate diploma from Poland, I decided to enroll in secondary school again to find out what subjects would interest me the most. After earning my graduation diploma from high school for the second time, I applied to study nursing at University of Toronto. I felt that by being compassionate and sensitive to other human needs, nursing seemed the most suitable career to me.

My first year at university was the most challenging. It required many hours of diligent and hard work in writing, reading and memorizing lots of new terminology and information from anatomy, pathology, and microbiology class. Unfortunately, my first study experience at university did not bring the best results. Since my marks were lower in comparison to other students, I was told by the dean of the nursing faculty to switch my studies to community college or be faced with being placed on probation for one year. With a heavy heart, I had delivered the bad news to my father not knowing his reaction and possible recommendations I would receive. Fortunately, my father digested the bad news rather calmly and with his good logic and rational mind strongly advised me to continue my studies at university in spite of my low marks on the first year. I was told that I was not a failure, but with time I would improve and do better. My dad told me to “just do your best and have faith in yourself, and later everything will be O.K.” Afterwards, my father had shared with me his own study experience at law faculty in Poland. His first year at university was the most challenging as well, but with hard work and determination he not only had obtained a master degree but in addition a doctorate degree. Upon my father`s wise advise I had continued my second year at nursing faculty with a probation. Since my marks were greatly improved on the second year, the probation was removed by dean and I able to continue my studies at nursing faculty without any future fear or worries. In the end, I had successfully graduated and obtained my bachelor degree in nursing. This had been the second time when my father had given me a helping hand with my education. My father had faith and never gave up on me even though other people did. He knew my true potentials strength and capabilities more than anybody else. Most of all, my dad did not focus on my mistakes or failures, but looked for ways to help me overcome my problems and find the right solutions.

Throughout that critical time, my father provided me an emotional support and guidance that turned out to be the best for me at the end. Because of my father, I received hope, inspiration and determination to accomplish my dreams and goals even though I was stumbling frequently. Once, he told me that “marks and grades are not the most essential things in life. However, knowledge derived from studies and proper application is important.” I always trusted my father’s judgment and decisions because he always wanted the best for me. For this, I owe all my success and accomplishments with high school in Poland and in university to my father, Maryan. Without his support and guidance, I would not be who I am today.

Living in Canada brought new and different experiences to each one of us. My twin sister Nadiya and I shared the responsibility of buying and preparing meals, making laundry and keeping our apartment clean; whereas my father provided help by carrying groceries. Activities such as going grocery shopping at the supermarket and eating Canadian food were quite strange and sometimes challenging for us. My father never declined to eat any food that my sisters and I had prepared for dinner as long it was fresh and tasty. However, not all of my recipes were as successful as I had hoped. One time, I made a silly mistake by buying hot peppers instead bell peppers. With just one spoonful of food, my father’s facial expression explained everything. Unfortunately, my new dish had to be thrown away. Soon after, I was told to be more careful when buying ingredients for and of my future new dishes. Sometimes, when you have the best intentions just the opposite happens. The past incident with food makes me laugh now. Living together not only benefitted us financially but also helped us to keep our family together. In a new country, it was very easy to be overwhelmed or stressed out, however with my dad’s continuous help, guidance and support, life became easier and more manageable with each passing day.

Occupying a two bedroom apartment with my two sisters and father provided a comfortable living space but not enough storage for our outerwear and other personal belongings that we quickly accumulated. Although my father was not only an expert in his profession, but could also fix things and build many items from scratch. He learned those skills from his father Eugene who was a great master in metal work. Knowing that our father Maryan had those skills, my twin sister Nadiya and I requested that he build a closet for our clothes. Although it would have been much faster, easier and cheaper to buy it from any furniture outlet, but we didn’t know that at the time. Without any hesitation, our dad began preparing the project by buying the required tools and materials. Nothing was impossible for him as long he was given realistic time framework. As a good carpenter, he began designing, measuring, cutting and nailing wood parts together. Within two days, the storage closet was assembled and built very sturdy. My sister and I were very delighted that our father accomplished this task for us. At the same time, he was pleased that he was able to help us. “What a great dad, we have!”, I thought to myself. Throughout the years, my father fixed and repaired many different things that required immediate assistance. When my twin sister Nadiya and I began to live separately and had our own places to live, my father continued to offer his indispensable helping hands with our ongoing new house projects such as painting walls, building multiple tall bookshelves and dealing with any electrical problems. To have such a handy father was a blessing.

Upon my graduation from university, I got married and began my own family, having four children altogether (two boys and two girls). The parental skills of raising my own children derived from my father`s values and principles. Being a parent for the first time taught me to become more patient, understanding and compromising with the many demanding duties and responsibilities. My father always paid me a visit at the hospital with each born child, bringing a bouquet of flowers and extra fruits for me to eat. Each time, my dad was very happy and delighted to see an additional healthy grandchild brought into the family. During one of his visits, my father gave me a simple message: “It is not easy road to raise a child. It requires lots of sacrifice, commitment and dedication from a parent.” When I had compared my own experience with my children, I agreed with him, one hundred percent. By participating in simple activities with my father along with my children, like having a walk in the park or attending social activities, gave them a great opportunity to bond with their grandfather. While spending time with us, he recalled and share stories of my childhood with me. Since I had become a parent of four children, my father Maryan become a granddad. Even though our roles were different, I appreciated his openness and honesty with me. My father was the only one who knew and understood me the most. It was him who kept and preserved all my drawings and letters that I wrote to him in the past. For him, my letters were important, valuable and special. It seemed that not long ago, my father was a younger parent who was raising three daughters, but now it was me who was fulfilling that role. It is true when people say to you, “enjoy your kids when they are small because time goes by very fast.” Only beautiful memories and pictures are left to reminds us about past life experiences with our children. As my father said to me, “time always moves forward, never backwards. Therefore, spend enough time with your children in order not to have regrets one day. Otherwise, the time that was not allocated with the children will be lost forever.”

I followed my father’s good advice, and for the next ten years, I became a stay-at-home mom, only working on alternate weekends as a nurse at the hospital. Through this, I have learned that each parent has a crucial role in child’s development and upbringing. I find that my father had fulfilled his role as a parent. He provided me a good base and foundations so that I could make proper decisions in my life (however I was not without making mistakes). As my children were growing up, I tried to follow my father's footsteps by spending quality time with them. I have to admit that my father was much better with me and my three sisters. Since I had tendency to be a task-oriented person (as most mothers) this required good balancing of parental skills from me. Looking back, I am glad that I have committed my time and energy with my children when they were small instead working full time because certain moments in life cannot be recaptured later.

I would like to add that my father Maryan not only provided guidance of raising my children but had also offered indispensable help with their health on numerous occasions. For some unknown, reason all my children had multiple sensitivities and allergies to food that included gluten, dairy and citrus fruits. My children were not able to eat pizza, cookies, bread, pasta, ice cream and so on. As a result of their problem with food, I usually declined the invitations to other kids’ birthday parties or any other social activities. In addition, I tried to minimize the exposure with restaurants and fast food as well. In spite of their limited selection of food my children were growing and developing well in comparison to other children. Over the course of the five years, I had relied on a naturopathic doctor who treated my children with homeopathic medication which showed some positive results. However, I eventually stopped giving this medicine to my children as it became very expensive and did not eliminate their persistent multiple allergies. Instead, I decided to try healing energy on my children from a very experienced healer, which unfortunately had no concrete or positive results either. At this point, I became tired with my children’s situation, and for the first time I turned to my father for help. I was not sure how he would be able to help me, but nevertheless stayed optimistic. After hearing my plea about the ongoing allergy problems with my children, my father performed true healing energy to them for half an hour each.

To my surprise, my father’s healing treatment resulted in a successful and permanent elimination of all my children’s allergies. In addition, Maryan also tested every food that I brought to him to see if my children had any sensitivity to them, and to my amazement they had none! All those years when my children were struggling with multiple allergies, suddenly ended! Finally, my children felt that they became just like others, able to eat any food they wanted without restrictions. I knew that my father had worked in multiple and different professions (such as a poet, lawyer, researcher, composer, and musician), but I was not aware that he had the ability to heal any imbalance or problems in the body. I wished that I would have turned to my father sooner, instead of relying on other people’s help. After all of this, I am very grateful for my father’s indispensable help. As I grew older, I discovered more things about my father that made him even more unique and special to me.

My father was not only effective on my children, but also on my former teacher with whom I correspond on regular basis. From his letters, I found out that he was battling with serious and multiple health problems where doctors could not improve his deteriorating health. I felt that I could not be indifferent to my teacher`s health problems. Although I lived across the ocean, I had to do something about it. So, I turned for help to my father Maryan, knowing that he had successfully helped all of my children. Upon my request, my father agreed to help my former teacher by using several of his the most effective developed methods. My dad had requested to provide any information regarding health problems, plus a recent close captured photograph of the face only. Over several months, Maryan performed distant healing sessions at specific times and days. When the sessions were completed, I just had to wait for the response from my teacher. Even though I had not seen any results yet, I was grateful that my father Maryan was willing to help me with my urgent request. However, before I had received any answer from my former teacher, my twin sister Nadiya had a dream about the same teacher who appeared to be happy and smiling telling her that was feeling much better. My twin sister Nadiya told me about her unusual dream on the following day. I was very happy to hear that because her dream gave me a positive message. Within a few days I received a letter from my teacher informing that deteriorating health not only got stabilized but improved greatly. Obtaining such great news was the most humbling experience. I felt that thorough my indirect help, my teacher`s troubled health was greatly improved.

My father`s help did not end here. After delivering my youngest son Peter, for some reason, I had developed digestion problems. As a result, I was not able to eat regular food for almost half a year. My basic food became cooked carrots, parsnips, potatoes, apples and rice. Green tea was my only drink during the day. At that time, my health situation was not pleasant or easy for myself to accept. If I tried to eat any protein, or a piece of bread I would have several stops to the washroom. I solely replied on my basic diet, and constantly felt hungry. It was very difficult to look at my family members eating a variety foods at home, seeing others at the restaurants. I was very miserable, and felt depressed because of not being able to eat what I desired. Gladly, I went to bed every night, where I was able to forget my problem for a couple of hours. Even the specialist at Toronto East General hospital was not able to help me, telling me that he could not find anything wrong or unusual with me, in spite of doing various tests. By the end I turned to help from my father again. I used dowsing rods over the affected areas of my digestive system (small intestine) which my father had pinpointed, followed by a half-hour long healing energy session provided by my father. Based on past experience, I knew that my father`s healing energy treatments were effective with my children, therefore I believed that it would work for me as well. After my session, Maryan informed me that I had a malfunctioning colon on a temporary basis. Later, on my father checked most of the foods which I wanted to eat, and gave me a green light. During the following Christmas holiday, I began to resume my regular diet. At supper on Christmas Eve, my father had a great smile on his face, knowing that he was successful in restoring my health and bringing my life back to normal.

Unfortunately, four years later I had developed another digestion problem due to strong antibiotic treatment for urinary tract infection. This time, my symptoms and problems were completely different from the past. Right after finishing antibiotic treatment, I began to have severe indigestion with lots of burping and belching while eating just a small amount of food. In addition, I stopped feeling hungry, and only followed the clock when I supposed to eat my next meal. Having an upset digestive system, along with decreased appetite caused dramatic weight loss for me once again. My father had informed me that I developed several problems. For one, my G.I. tract's good micro flora was destroyed by the strong antibiotic, I had too much acidity, and the lining of my colon was very irritated. It was a perfect recipe for a disaster. My father had advised me to take several herbal remedies to detoxify body and return my pH balance to normal. I was also told to take enzymes and probiotics for some time. I had struggled with that problem for at least half a year before my digestion returned back to normal. During that time my family doctor was not able to give me any concrete solutions or recommendations for my digestion problems. Again, my father was the only person who helped and successfully eliminated my problem permanently. This was second time when my father had responded in my greatest need for help. Over the years my father had provided an alternative natural remedies to all my children and myself on numerous occasions by using his intuition, knowledge and experience. I thank him from the bottom of my heart for all of his help.

As I mentioned previously, my dad`s intuition became his navigational compass that he relied on throughout the rest of his life. Many times, his intuition aided him in making proper decisions, finding better solutions and getting new ideas. Even though I am a female, I had not developed such a personal gift as my father did, as my method is usually trial and error. His intuition was not only used for his personal use only but as well for his friends and immediate family members who required advice or counseling.

My father not only has multiple talents and gifts (poet, composer, musician, journalist, healer, counselor) but also possessed characteristics that are worth sharing with you. For as long as I had known my father, I must say he always valued and appreciated other people`s work regardless of their status or occupation. If it happened to be a handicraft from the market or produce from the farm, my father made sure that each item he bought was paid for accordingly and fairly. My father did not have the intention or desire to take advantage of other people`s work to benefit himself. His own father, Eugene, was excellent hard working metal worker, who made my father Maryan aware from his youngest age that even the smallest project required time, effort and dedication. When my father bought anything from other people, he kept in mind the amount of work and time was invested. My father was rather generous in giving and sharing anything with other people including complete strangers. If he knew that you needed something or became in a very unfortunate situation my father without hesitation would give without hesitation even if it meant not having for himself later. My father believed that loving and omnipotent God would always compensated him later in some other way. My father`s other good characteristic was that he was always honest and truthful to himself and others. Before he made any decision, he evaluated the best possible solutions and outcomes regardless who or how many people were involved. His philosophy was “always try to make right decisions so that one day you do not have to have any regrets”. For as long as I know my father has never placed his own interests before others. It may be difficult to believe but that’s how he truly was. I may say that my father Maryan did not avoid any challenges in his life but rather accepted and dealt with them appropriately. In addition his great sense of humor never left him even though he was always a serious thinker. Many times when I become upset or frustrated about something, my father lifted up my spirits by telling a funny joke or proverb. This was another very good skill that not many people are aware of. Finally, my father was a loyal servant and believer of an omnipotent and everlasting God, therefore he wrote many religious poems in God's honour.

When I became older, I got to know my father Maryan much better. Over the years, our father-daughter conversations and time spent together had allowed me to discover his true personality, talents and beliefs. For me it was like “the more I read the book, the more stories I discovered.” And that’s the whole beauty about it. My father Maryan was a trusted and close friend of mine who was always able to provide suggestions and the best possible solutions to the many problems that I faced in my life. I am very grateful for everything my father Maryan did for me, because all of my accomplishments, especially in school would not have occurred. As I mentioned previously, when others have not seen any potential or future in me however my father did. As long I had motivation and desire, nothing was out of reach. As my father said, “It does not take much effort to give up in life but it takes lots of time and energy to accomplish something.”

The most valuable aspect I appreciate about my father Maryan, is that he never stopped loving and caring about my two other sisters and I in spite of my parents' divorce. He never lost in touch with us even though he lived 300 km away. The distance was not a barrier to my father because he always wanted to see and be with us. Many of times, my father supported us financially, even though his own monthly pay check was not enough to cover his own needs and expenses. Finally, we, his daughters were always the focus and the center in his life. Nothing was more important or took higher priority over us.

Furthermore, my father never accepted any other women in his life who only wanted to be with him, but not us. When the opportunity to visit Canada without my sisters or I arose, my father Maryan declined to stay in spite of better life and prospects. He simply turned his back on the new possibilities, and returned to Poland to provide fatherly love and support to his three young, growing daughters even though he did not have custody. He felt that his role in our lives was not finished. Honestly, I have not found any other free man who would be willing to deprive himself of a better life in the West, along with a new woman in exchange for his daughters. Only my dear and beloved father, Maryan, did this because he followed his heart which guided him to this decision that he never regretted. Many years later, he told me that in Canada, the temptation was great, but he was glad to not make a dreadful mistake. I know that my father Maryan, was always committed and dedicated to my sisters and I, because he truly cared and loved us. Thank you once again, for everything you done for your three daughters, father. May God bless you.

With much love from

Bohdanna Koval’s’kyj

P.S. One week before his sudden and unanticipated death, my father Maryan had the opportunity to read my written reflections in “My Life with Dad”. His comment to me was “You portrayed me accurately, there is nothing to add or erase. One day, you will be known for your writing.”

Dear father Maryan, I miss you terribly. Even though you are no longer alive, I would like you to know that I will always cherish the time that I had with you and all the love and support I have received from you.