A Tribute to my Mother Criss McNeill – Delivered Saturday May 25, 2013 by Patrick McNeill 

A Mother to All

Friends and family, thank you all for coming out today to honour and celebrate the life of my mother, Criss McNeill.

You know, some people worry that perhaps no one will show up at their funeral. Did they make enough good friends during their lifetime? Did they leave a legacy that touched people deeply enough? Well, I sure hope mom didn't harbour any doubts about that. Trust me when I tell you that poor record keeping and short notice are the only things between us and standing room only in this church today.      

I'd like to give you a bit of an insider's view of a life well lived. Working and married young, mom did not have much of an opportunity for formal education, but along the way she earned her Masters Degree in empathy and compassion, with a PhD. in volunteerism.

Now, with a family of one girl and six boys, we thought the McNeill clan was complete. I'm the youngest of those seven children, but before I was 10 years old, mom, in an effort to help a new single mother, decided to adopt the two children she had been caring for, my younger sister Terri, and a new baby boy Kevin. I was happy to relinquish the status of “baby of the family” if it meant I now had two younger siblings to tease, as my brothers had teased me. 

Growing up in that house at 77 Leuty Avenue, with all those kids, we pretty much kept mom dangling precipitously close to the end of her rope on most days. It would be hard to estimate the number of times we heard the phrase “just wait till your father gets home”, let's just say enough for me to consider it as the alternate title for this eulogy. 

To say we had a busy household growing up would be an understatement. Apart from the kids, over the years we took in many family, friends and acquaintances on a temporary, semi-permanent, or permanent bases. There was always an open door, a place to stay, and a pot of tea on the stove at mom's place. I sat down with mom one day and tried to list all the people that had come through the door to stay with us for a period of time over the years. That list had over 100 people's names on it before we were done, and we were still convinced we did not list everyone.      

Somehow mom also found time to give back to her church and her community. During their prime my parents were involved in organizing some legendary parties, right here at the St. John's banquet hall. First, the hockey dances in support of the Scarborough Catholic Hockey League, and later to raise money for the Canadian Cancer Society.  Mom also got involved with Senior Link, a program she would later come to rely on to help her with affordable housing to stay in her beloved beach neighbourhood. Perhaps it's fitting, and I guess no great surprise, that her final moments came while she was sitting as a volunteer at the front desk of her building directing traffic on a busy Wednesday morning.

Speaking to so many of you over the last few days I was struck by the number of people who said “she was like a mother to me”. That is the essence of who she was, easy to speak to, quick with a smile or an encouragement, a supportive friend, just like ones mother I suppose.  

My parent's lives changed fairly dramatically when my father was forced into retirement by the onset of Parkinson's, a degenerative brain disease that slowly sucks the life out of you. I recall the family agonizing over the decision to tell my father he had to give up his car keys for good. This, to a man who was a career driver, with a stellar record for more than 50 years. It was not going well, until mom finally stepped in and said “Doug, I'm never getting in that car with you again, so you may as well give them your keys right now.” That's when he handed them over.

As Dad's health began to fade mom became his full-time caregiver, and nurse, and pharmacist, and appointment setter, and eventually, his everything. She did so with a love and compassion that I so admired in her.  For her it was a natural instinct, bread in the bone.    

Mom also loved her living arrangement at Coatesworth Crescent, she loved all the activities, the friendly staff, and the many great friends she made, including the supper club gang and breakfast with her good friend and neighbour André. If early to bed, and early to rise, truly makes one healthy, wealthy and wise, mom was rich beyond belief. Famous for being tucked in bed by 6 p.m., and notorious for holding court with anyone crazy enough to match her internal wake-up call at 4:30 a.m.

As we turn the page and learn to cope with our loss, mom too is turning a page. I like to imagine her being reunited with her parents, her sister-in-law Millie, and her sister Delores, who I know will be wagging her finger and asking what took her so long. And of course the reunion with her husband Doug. Dad if you're listening, get to the gates and welcome her in.

Criss, we would like to give our heartfelt thanks to you.  We will miss you greatly.  Again thank you for everything.

Criss, we would like to give a heartfelt thanks to you.  You will be sorely missed.  What an extreme pleasure knowing someone like you.  Again thank you for everything.

Hi John, we just wanted you to know that we are thinking about you and sorry for your loss.

Blessings.
Sharon, Shaun and Pi

So very sorry to hear about the passing of your mom.Your family are in our hearts and our Prayers at this time.
God Bless

So very sorry to hear about your mom. I know how much you will miss her. My prayers are with you. 
Mabel Fraser

My heartfelt condolences.

She will live on in your hearts and memory.

Kathy Lewis

In  memory of a most special women in my life,Aunt Criss.  One of my earliest childhood memories is the train ride up to 77 Leuty Avenue every other summer to visit with Uncle Doug,Aunt Criss and all those cousins. Her beautiful smile would greet us at the train station, and I just knew that meant the beginning of another adventure in my life. Maybe we were off to Nigra Falls or Casa Loma,maybe this time it would be Fantisy Island,Marine Land,or the CNE.  It really didn't matter much to me as long as I got to spend quality with my favourite aunt and uncle, (I use to call Uncle Doug my "Big Daddy"). Then one year something tragic happened. Big Daddy developed Parkinson's.  This was the beginning of a true love story for me. The way she tenderly took care of him, the compassion, the dedication,the loyalty,the determination, the patience, the kindness, the unconditional love she showed was something that has stuck with me through out the years. I have tried to pattern my own life based on qualities taugh to me by my dear Aunt Criss. I will truly miss our talks, her loving smile, and the many memories she provided me in my youth( not to mention her needle work, and those humongous Christmas boxes), but most of all I will miss her sweet,sweet, spirit. The reunion is complete now, their love story continues.
                                                                         Gloria Simmons (Wood)(Niece)

OBITUARY

Christine McNeill

September 2, 1934 – May 22, 2013

Giffen-Mack and Trull Funeral Home

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