Earl Richard Holm Jr. "Rich"

Earl Richard Holm, Jr., “Rich,” age 81 of Toms River, passed away unexpectedly at home on February 12th, 2023. Rich was born in Albany, NY and lived in several wonderful places throughout his adult life- New York City, Berkeley, California, and Bolivia, just to name a few. He eventually met the love of his life and settled down with his wife in Fort Lee, NJ, before moving “down the shore,” to Toms River in 2005.

“Richie, Dick, Rich, Dad, Papa Rich, Pop, Dr. Holm”… He was a man who was loved by all who knew him. There are so many things to say about this wonderful man and to be brief in naming all of his accomplishments would be a disservice to the life he led.

Rich grew up with his parents and four sisters in the village of Delmar, a suburb of Albany. They had many family members living nearby and Rich enjoyed seeing his aunts, uncles, and cousins often. Rich spent his younger years playing outside, getting lost in the woods, hunting, fishing, and playing the role of “big brother” to his little sisters. He would often help his father with tasks around the house, such as sanding the family boat, and taking care of the chickens and other rescued animals that his father would bring home from his work in wildlife preservation. Rich spoke warmly of his mother and often reminisced about the family singing songs and listening to her play piano.

Rich received his high school diploma from Christian Brothers Academy in Albany, where he was often found on the football field, being a First Team All-City center. He would go on to receive a college scholarship for football. Rich cherished his time at CBA and reminisced fondly over the memories he made with his fellow Class of ’59 alum, many of whom he still had friendships with until his passing.

Rich was a proud Boston College graduate and sports enthusiast, in spite of the fact that they often broke his heart on the football field. He would quip, “They always manage to find a way to lose. At least they are consistent.” Some of his favorite pastimes included taunting his good buddy of over 60 years, John Ryan, about the BC - Notre Dame rivalry, well-knowing that Notre Dame may have the “stronger team,” but BC has “more heart.”

After graduating from BC, Rich joined the Jesuits and began a life of service through his work in the religious order and as a Social Worker. Rich lived, studied, and worked in several places during his time with the Jesuits, some of which include Berkeley, California, the Nativity Center in the Lower East Side, and a two-year stay in Bolivia. During this time, he would go on to receive his Master’s Degree in Social Work at Fordham. Rich made many wonderful memories and fostered great friendships during his years with the Jesuits.

After leaving the “collared life” with the intention of eventually starting a family, he spent time in NYC living and working nearby Nativity Parish. During this time, he enjoyed the thrills of laymen, city life with his good friend, Jim Haggerty. He began working for the Minuchin Center for the Family and spent over 40 years both supervising and training fellow therapists and working with clients as a Family Therapist. He has been published and helped to co-author books about Family Systems Therapy. He proudly worked alongside Dr. Salvador Minuchin and his fabulous team of therapists. During his years there, Rich became a greatly respected part of the MCF family and went on to earn his Doctorate in Social Work from Adelphi University.

Rich truly enjoyed his career, and loved to teach fellow therapists about the Structural Family Therapy approach. He was a strong believer in what he taught. He had a passion for social work and had been a professor at Columbia Teacher’s College and CUNY before moving to the Jersey Shore. He supervised and trained countless social workers over the years, still doing so in recent days and weeks, traveled across the state and country for trainings, and was still actively treating clients until his passing.

A self-titled “country boy at heart,” Rich loved the outdoors. Throughout his adulthood, Rich would go fly-fishing, hunting (take his gun for a “walk in the woods”), camping, crabbing, snow-shoe, and cross-country skiing. In his most recent years, he would be sure to get outside every day and enjoy nature, having hobbies that included going on daily runs, taking his grandkids to the park, and kayaking when the weather was “right.” An avid hiker up until the very end, Rich was a member of the Catskill 3500 Club, Adirondack 46ers, completed the Fire Tower Challenge, walked 500 miles through Spain on El Camino de Santiago (at the age of 71!). He often hiked with his friends and cherished those times in upstate NY with Dan and on El Camino with Dick. In his younger years with the Jesuits, he explored Machu Picchu and the Salt Flats in Bolivia. Rich spoke about how nature made him feel more connected to his spirituality and his late wife.

Rich was always trying to better himself. He read constantly and tried to learn and absorb new information. Prior to going on his pilgrimage in Spain, Rich re-taught himself Spanish, quickly picking it up again from his days in Bolivia. Rich also studied the art of mindfulness and meditation. He attended weekly sessions, seminars, and often went on retreats to try and better himself in the ways of “being present.”

Through the different facets of his life, Rich developed and nurtured many strong relationships over the years. He cherished friendship and was always sure to keep in touch with the people who were important to him. Rich loved to talk about his sisters. He enjoyed watching the bond the four girls shared and relished the times he spent with them. He’d never forget anyone’s birthday or an anniversary and knew how to make every person he interacted with feel special and heard. Rich loved to get together with friends and spoke fondly of his visits with them. He especially loved going on trips with his wife and their “Four Seasons” group.

Above all else, Rich loved his family. Throughout their 27 years of marriage, Rich and Mary Ellen traveled, danced, vacationed at the beach and mountains, swam, sang, skied, laughed, cried, talked, and talked, and talked. He would always say that they were “the best of friends.” He took great pride in their marriage. Together with their daughter, they went on many adventures- sometimes getting lost or taking the “long way around.” But Rich could always make even the most mundane tasks fun. He lived by the motto, “The important thing is that we’re together.” When Erin brought Paul home, they immediately bonded over their love of football and baseball, despite Rich being a BC and Yankees fan, and Paul being a Miami U and Mets fan. Rich’s love for Paul grew deeper over the years and he had a strong respect for Paul as a husband and a father. Perhaps his greatest love was for his grandchildren. When Julia and Brendan came into his life it was as if he had a renewed sense of purpose. He loved spending his days with them and each moment was filled with laughter, dancing, adventures, hugs, and fun.

Rich lived life intentionally, making sure to “cherish the moment and make beautiful memories” with all those he cared about. He was a one-of-a-kind man, had a life that was well-lived, and he will be sorely missed by those who loved him.

Rich was predeceased by his wife, Mary Ellen (Bock), and his parents, Earl Sr. and Eileen (Caulfield) Holm. Surviving are his daughter, Erin Barna, her husband, Paul Jr. and his grandchildren, Julia and Brendan; four sisters: Cristine Lonnstrom and her husband, Doug, Kathleen Wood and her husband, Frank, Patsy Holm, and Jeanne Holm; as well as many nieces, nephews, godchildren, and close family and friends.

Visitation hours will be Monday, February 20th, from 2-6PM at the Anderson & Campbell Funeral Home in Toms River, NJ. A Mass of Christian Burial will be celebrated on Tuesday, February 21st, at 10AM at St. Catharine of Siena Church in Seaside Park. Burial will follow at St. Joseph’s Cemetery in Toms River.

In lieu of flowers, donations to The Wildlife Conservation Society can be made in Rich’s name.