It’s with incredible mixed emotions that I write about my beloved sister Nancy. She was exceptionally loved by myself and my sisters Kathy, Eileen, Pat, Mary, and nephew Keith & Annie, and Bud. It feels like yesterday, Summer of 2022, that I was on the phone with Nancy discussing the sort of party she would want to celebrate her marriage to Rick on September 24th, 2022. What an amazing day we created! The weather was perfect, Nancy was at the peak of her self-actualized, glorious self. We all felt a sense of awe when she played her flute prior to sharing her vows. Throughout the night she played her flute to “Bye-Bye Miss American Pie”, and other songs, with Keith on the guitar, as we all sang and danced throughout the night. As each sister and Annie took their try at learning tango, Nancy’s awesome sarcastic humor in the background made me laugh so hard that it hurt!
Here is the film of Nancy’s celebration: (please copy entire link and paste into your browser)
https://1drv.ms/v/s!AikO2cOHhw3Q2je3gVYdTYR--7sL?e=ogcfCm
This memory of Nancy, at her wedding celebration, captures the essence of so many past shared holidays and family gatherings. Dot and Jack’s six daughters celebrate ‘as family’ despite our differences and diverse personalities. Nancy inherited that NY edge of our dad, and with the sensitivity of an artist, she knew just how to crack that perfect joke, at just the right moment. She even got me laughing about myself!
Every time I laugh at the absurdities of life, I can almost hear Nancy’s voice saying something to make me laugh out loud. We called each other ‘double sister’ because we shared a sort of spirituality that was not religious, but based on the best of what our parents taught us. Like there’s a higher power of love with us always, and that at inner peace and joy was our inheritance. And that nothing is impossible!
Since the moment of Nancy’s diagnosis, we believed that it would turn around, that she would regain all her amazing talents and mobility back. We believed for a miracle. She went to bed every night listening to inspirational talks about divine healing. And I am glad that her last days were filled with celebration and hope.
One of her deepest beliefs was in eternal life. Nancy was the one who comforted me after our mother died. Nancy said, “you know Carol, I used to miss mom, so far away in Florida. But now she’s in my heart 24/7. Nancy’s words were so comforting that they turned my tears into joy with a renewed sense of spiritual closeness to my mother.
And perhaps the real miracle is that Nancy, the youngest of the sisters is the teacher of us all. She led the way to a journey we will all one day take. May each one of us be so fortunate as to have our spirit transition into eternity while resting on the shoulder of a beloved sister. And like Nancy, regardless of how long our journey, may we live each day with hope and celebration.
We all said goodbye to ‘Nancy the baby’ when she became an adolescent. Yet the memories of her orange dress and holding Cleo remain.
We said goodbye to ‘Nancy the adolescent’ when she morphed into a beautiful young woman. Yet memories of her teenage self with flute remain. We watched her journey, and in part her journey was our journey, as memories of Nancy and her music still echo in our hearts. SO now we say goodbye to the body that contained a beautiful artist, musician, sister, friend as she morphs into pure spirit. Yet her 60 years of life fill our memories with deep richness. So, in the words that Nancy gave me regarding mom’s passing: ‘I used to miss you Nancy, living all the way in St Louis, but now you are in my heart, right next to mom, 24/7. The essence of Nancy remains, is eternal, in our hearts, our memories, in every sound of music.
A Celebration of Life will be held on Saturday, July 27th from 3:00 pm - 5:00 pm at Columbia Foundation for the Arts; 5333 Columbia Avenue; St. Louis, MO 63139. (314) 771-1492. https://www.thecolumbiafoundation.com
There will be a private family celebration of Nancy in California in December. Here we will honor Nancy's wishes to release her ashes to the Sea.
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