Bobby Joe Smith

Bobby Joe Smith was a man for whom actions would speak louder than words. The qualities of being fair, just and the ability to recognize what was right were clearly driving forces in Bobby’s life. He was also the kind of person who could respect a “do not disturb” sign whether it was real or implied. He was solid and observant, with an ability to be simultaneously spontaneous and keenly perceptive. Bobby was modest in his actions and extremely literal in his thoughts and in the manner in which he communicated with others. When Bobby said something, he meant it. All those who knew him appreciated this trademark quality.

Bobby was born on July 17, 1946 at his parents' farm in Ridgely, Tennessee. His parents were Zarah Margaret (Powell) Smith and Hayden Grable Smith. Bobby was raised in Tiptonville, Tennessee. Even as a small child, Bobby wanted to understand what was right and what was wrong in any given situation. As Bobby grew older, he realized the importance of being treated fairly, and in return, he treated everyone around him the same way. This belief in fair play served Bobby well throughout his life and despite his natural shyness, he enjoyed a solid group of friends.

Since Bob sought to treat those around him with respect, he often found himself in the role of playing peacemaker within his family. He was comfortable in working through the types of sibling rivalry situations that quite often occur because he loved the challenge of conflict resolution. He would look at the most reasonable and practical ways to settle any disputes. Bobby was raised with four siblings. He had two older siblings (Richard and Mary) and three younger siblings (Peggy, Wade, and Rose Marie, who died at birth). Bobby was constantly involved in activities and worked on the farm. Bob continued to help his father on the farm until he moved to St. Louis in 1967.

During his childhood, family and friends viewed Bobby as a quiet and reserved person with what most would consider a calm and tranquil demeanor. In fact, he was a fairly curious child who had the ability to entertain himself and didn’t require much in the way of outside stimulation. A great deal of Bobby’s free time was spent learning how and why the things around him worked. He was an active child who loved being outdoors. He enjoyed hunting, fishing, and swimming in and around Reelfoot Lake.

Those who didn’t know Bobby well might have thought him to be objective and somewhat emotionally detached, but family and friends who were close to him knew that he was capable of unexpected flashes of humor. Bobby’s good friends tended to be “thinkers” like himself. Even though the circle of friends was somewhat small, it was a strong and loyal group and Bobby liked nothing better than to spend his free time with them. Bobby was well known for always being up front and open, never hiding his true feeling. These were qualities that drew deep loyalty from his friends because they understood and appreciated him for the person he was. While growing up, some of his best friends were Robert Parker, Joe and Westley Campbell.

This same loyalty and up front honesty Bobby shared with his friends carried over to other aspects of his life, including his relationships with his family. On April 20, 1968, Bobby exchanged wedding vows with Lillie Paulette Ethridge at the Crusade Baptist Temple of St. Louis, Missouri. The wedding was performed by Polly's dad, Brother Coy Ethridge. The marriage became a solid relationship, due in part to Bobby’s skill at bringing fresh energy and clarity to meeting Paulette's needs. He was a great listener who enjoyed the couple’s “together” time, especially when it came to celebrating special occasions.

As the family grew, Bobby was easily able to adapt to the changes and challenges of parenthood. Bobby was blessed with two sons, David Joe and Phillip Stephen. He enjoyed his sons and spent a lot of quality time with them as they were growing up. In 2003, Bobby was blessed with a new member of the family, Phillip married Jessi Abbott in Branson, MO. They were also blessed with two grandsons, Phillip Ethan and Aaron David. They were his pride and joy. He enjoyed taking special trips and outings with each boy individually. They could always count on GrandBob to have candy and a movie back in his bedroom when they woke up early from nap time. He also enjoyed family get-togethers on Sunday afternoons. Bobby was never impulsive in dealing with family problems. Instead, he would carefully think things through before implementing the solution in a logical and objective manner. Bobby was a strong, clear communicator who excelled at eliminating confusion by making matters crystal clear to all those involved. At the same time, Bobby’s inventive nature could turn some of the boring old household chores into a fun activity for the family.

In his work life, Bobby was the kind of person who had no difficulty in taking on a project and seeing it through to its completion. He excelled at dealing with those pesky details that can derail some people, but once he understood exactly why he was working on a project, he could plow full steam ahead. For Bobby, being able to grasp the logical components of any task was significant to him in appreciating its importance. Even if he worked alone on an assignment, Bobby was able to incorporate and welcome new insights from co-workers, and he would readily use them if they improved the process. His primary occupation was foreman. He was employed for 22 years at Liberty Foundry. He worked along side his two teenaged sons and his father. Bobby always made the effort to be a team player, doing what was necessary in order to get the job done.

Bobby was a veteran of the Army National Guard. When he was 16, he left high school early to join up. He understood his duty to serve his country and the importance of getting a job done. He was comfortable with the routines of the military and even liked them to some degree, especially when it came to grasping the clear instructions and guidelines he was expected to follow. He was in the Army National Guard and had training at Fort Jackson, North Carolina and served at Lake County,TN. (Nov. 19,1963-Nov. 17,1969). Bobby saw action for peace keeping missions in Memphis TN. in 1966. Through his hard work and dedication, he achieved the rank of Specialist Five E-5 Company C 230 Engineer Brigade. He received several awards including a Combat Engineer, Authorized Marksman Badge, Rifle, Cal.30.

Bobby enjoyed a variety of hobbies. He particularly enjoyed the “alone” time his hobbies provided. His favorite hobbies were hunting and fishing with his boys. He also enjoyed reading, gun, and coin collecting. Bobby was also something of a sports fan and enjoyed following his favorite events whenever he got the opportunity. Bobby liked watching football, baseball, and wrestling. Bobby was content to enjoy his hobbies alone but was also willing to share his interests with others.

Bobby was an asset to any organization he joined. In many ways, he was a man of action who would rather tackle a job than spend time chatting about irrelevant things. He worked well on small committees and excelled at focusing on the important details without getting bogged down by the unnecessary parts of an assignment. Throughout his later years, Bobby was an active member of the Crusade Baptist Temple for 48 years. Religion and faith were important to Bobby. During that time, he was on the Board of Trustees and Vice President of the corporation and also drove the church bus for 10 years.

Bobby appreciated the occasions when he was able to travel and get away on a vacation. He enjoyed learning about different locales and was open to exploring new and different places. He always included Polly's parents and brother on these trips. Their favorite vacation spots included trips to the ocean in Florida and fishing at Branson, Missouri. In 1974, Bob and Polly took a special trip to Puerto Rico for a week. They enjoyed exploring the island and seeing how the native people lived. In 2003, they spent a week in Texas, where they played on the beach and collected sea shells on San Padre Island and enjoyed visiting Mexico.

Bobby was a lover of animals and cherished his pets. His family had many animals during the 18 years living on the farm in High Ridge, MO. During this time they had cows, horses, ducks, and dogs they cared for and loved. The whole family loved the farm and enjoyed whenever family and friends visited. Bob was a kind and compassionate man and always was willing to offer a helping hand for those in need.

Bobby became disabled in 1998 with a rare disease called Scleroderma and Raynauds. During his retirement he helped Polly with Best Friends Learning Center for 10 years in their home. He loved all the kids that attended, which included his grandsons Ethan and Aaron. They called him GrandBob! They all enjoyed his special candy treats that he would hand out during the day. Everyone loved GrandBob and he was a vital part to the learning center.

Bobby strongly believed that talk is cheap. He was the type of person who would show others his feelings through his actions. He was practical and realistic but was able to be flexible when the need arose. He had a curiosity about the things around him and tried to experience life directly rather than sit back and talk about it. The experiences he treasured most were those he shared with his loved ones. Bobby Joe Smith will be greatly missed.

Bobby passed away on April 6, 2014 at his home within just one week after being diagnosed with lung cancer caused by the Scleroderma. He died surrounded by his wife, children, brother-in-law, and Uncle Pete and Aunt Rachel. A few minutes after he died, God comforted Polly's heart by playing the song, "If You Only Knew" on the radio. He is survived by his wife Paulette, his two sons David and Phillip (Jessi), two grandsons Ethan and Aaron, along with his siblings Mary, Richard, Peggy, and Wade and a dear brother-in-law Dale Ethridge and family. Services were held at Hoffmeister Funeral Home in St. Louis, MO. Officiated by Brother Gary Bookout. Brother James Waymire sang "What a Day That Will Be" and Bob's favorite "When They Ring the Golden Bells". The song "If You Only Knew" was played. Bobby was laid to rest in Mount Hope Cemetery in St. Louis.

Tributes:

I have had the privilege of knowing Bobby since 1981. When Catherine and I starting going to Crusade Baptist Temple, Bobby was one of the first to welcome us and it has been a close friendship ever since. Looking back over the years, I remember Bobby and Polly holding church picnics out at their farm where we played Indian Ball and various other yard games besides the fellowship of sitting around and trying to solve the world's problems. I used to go out to the farm occasionally and go squirrel hunting with Bobby and fish the pond some with him. One time Bobby had a drainage problem between the barn and pond and we were out in the barn for some reason or the other when he told me about it, so I grabbed a shovel and said, "Let's go fix it!" Bobby laughed and said, "Oh no, we'll let those boys of mine do that. Let's go do something fun like shoot the guns!" So we went over to the fire pit and went through about 2 or 3 boxes of ammo.

Bobby's character was everything from funny to serious, caring and sharing, witting and humorous, and he always seemed to be interested in helping others. I called him one day and told him the Chief of Police of Sunset Hills Police Department needed a place to store a helicopter simulator for a short period of time while the police historical committee tried to find a large facility to store it in. Of course, Bobby said, "Sure, bring it on out." So they did and it sat there for several years as all of the police artifacts that were collected and stored in a warehouse in Valley Park were lost in the flood of 1993.

I always appreciated Bobby and considered him one of my closest friends. I look back over the past several years knowing how sick Bobby was and knowing the tremendous amount of pain that he was going through and yet he was faithful in his love of GOD and church besides his family and friends. Bobby has been a great example of a Christian man of high values, and the courage and strength that he displayed during that time, without ceasing, always amazed me. Farewell for now good friend, we will never forget you.

~ Paul Roy

I met Bobby, Polly and my wife to be in 1967 at CBT. We all became good friends as well as brothers and sisters in Christ. Bobby liked to play jokes. Back around late 1967, Glenda and I were looking in a store window on Cherokee Street one night. Someone walked up behind us and put his finger in my back. With a handkerchief over his mouth he said, "Don't turn around. Give me your money!" I don't listen very well, so I turned around and because of the look I had in my eyes, Bobby said he was glad I recognized him. Then we all laughed about it. Through the years, Bobby would say, "Ken do you remember Cherokee street?" Then we would laugh.

I will never forget my good friend or his family. Thank God for them. We have to say goodbye to Bobby for now, but one day there will be no goodbyes in heaven.

~ Ken Evans

In July of 1967 I was seven years old, I will never forget that date because that is when my brother Larry was unexpectedly killed in a car wreck. Very shortly after that God sent me a replacement, Bobby Smith.

For almost fifty years Bobby has filled the role of Big Brother in my life. He did all the stuff I expect a Big Brother would do, tormented me every chance he got. He got me in trouble countless times, but to be fair he got me out of trouble a bunch of times also. He took me on vacations with him, we hunted, fished and enjoyed shooting guns together. He looked out for me.

I literally could tell hundreds of stories about Bobby. For time sake I think I will share two of the most recent ones. Very recent in fact, but this is classic Bobby Smith.

I probably shouldn't tell this one, but it is just too good not to. Phillip and I will share this memory for the rest of our lives. Shortly before Bobby went home to Heaven he was sitting in his chair next to his bed. He was nodding in and out by that time and wasn't saying much. So I walked into his room and lay down on his bed right next to his chair across from him leaning on Bob's cane. Bob woke up and looked over at me just as alert as could be and said my name, "Dale" and I said, "Hi, Bobby." And without missing a beat, looked back at Phillip and simply said in a loud voice, "Whack him!"

Turned out, that was the last thing he said to either of us. He did not instruct us to be good men or take care of Polly or watch out for my grandsons. I guess he already knew that we would do those things. And he had already told each of us that he was at peace. Rather, my beloved brother-in-law chose with his dying breath to put a hit out on me one last time. Phillip, in case you don't know this, HE WAS JUST KIDDING, AND THIS IS NO TIME TO START OBEYING YOUR PARENTS! Unfortunately, I think Phillip took him seriously and so now I have to live in fear of what I know is coming. THANKS AGAIN, BOB!

When Bob first got sick over 10 years ago, I remember all of us praying and asking God to heal him. It just didn't seem fair that right when Bob could have really started to enjoy life he had to deal with this horrible sickness. But, as God often does, he didn't answer our prayers exactly the way we wanted. Sometimes God has a higher purpose for our lives than even we know. Paul who God used to write most of the New Testament, prayed earnestly for healing and God simply said, "My grace is sufficient for you."

The second story I would like to share about Bobby is how I have personally witnessed that awesome Grace of God in his life. Bobby has endured more pain and suffering than anyone I have ever personally known. Day after day, week after week, year after year he has lived with unspeakable pain. Yet, whenever he came to church, which was almost always, he always had a smile on his face and a very sweet uncomplaining spirit about him. When asked, he might share some of what he was going through, but you pretty much had to ask him about it.

Bob just quietly endured the pain. He always seemed in good spirits to me and he was always concerned about others and their problems. I have caught myself several times complaining to Bob about some problem or pain I was having, and suddenly realized, I just need to shut up. This is the man that should be bitter and complaining, but he wasn't. He almost never did, to me anyway.

The whole time he was sick that never changed, he was always joking around. Bobby had a great sense of humor, sometimes a little warped, as I previously mentioned, but I got it.

A man that all of us in our family deeply respected, Brother Harold Council, once said when asked to preach someone's funeral. He said, "I can conduct the service, but we all preach our own funerals. Our life, is our message."

The last 50 years I have witnessed one of the greatest messages ever. Oh, I don't mean to imply that Bob was perfect, he had his faults. Don't we all?

But Bobby has taught all of us that when you have a personal relationship with Jesus and a deep abiding faith in God, it doesn't matter what life throws at you. You can handle it. Bitterness and discontentment with your circumstances in life is a choice. Bobby Smith set a pretty good example for all of us to follow.

He chose many years ago to give his life to Jesus Christ and then he lived a life of service to Him.

Philippians 4:13 says, "I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me." I think Bobby proved that every day for the last ten plus years.

So, when you remember Bobby Smith, remember that no matter what happens in your life, if you know Jesus and have access to the awesome Grace of God, there is nothing we can't handle and endure with his help.

On this earth Bob had a lot of titles: husband, father, father-in-law, brother, brother-in-law, uncle, friend, and my favorite, GrandBob.

He was my brother-in-law, but more importantly he was my Brother-in-Christ.

So today I don't have to say goodbye to Bobby Smith, just so long for now.

Love you Bob,

Dale

~Dale Ethridge

I loved GrandBob so much. because he was so sweet and kind to us. He played with us and took us to Mc. Donald's. I love taking pictures with him. I miss you so much! I loved sitting on your lap. I will remember you always, and tell Kathryn about you.

~Aaron, you second grandson

I liked it when GrandBob took me places in his truck. I enjoyed going into his room and watching cartoons with him. He always had a special treat for me.

I will love you forever.

~Ethan, your first grandson

I could always count on Bob sneaking candy to the kids as we left here each day. I know he did it for all of them, but he had such a special way of making each little one feel like they were his favorite. Or the times I would ask him if he knew which hardware store I could find something and his eyes would light up and tell me, "C'mon, I've got some of that in the garage." It made his day to be able to help someone out.

~Brandy Armstrong

Bob's favorite verses noted in his Bible:

Romans 3:10 As it is written, There is none righteous, no, not one

Romans 3:23 For all have sinned, and come short of the glory of God;

Romans 6:23 For the wages of sin is death; but the gift of God is eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord.

Romans 10:8-10 But what saith it? The word is nigh thee, even in thy mouth, and in thy heart: that is, the word of faith, which we preach; That if thou shalt confess with thy mouth the Lord Jesus, and shalt believe in thine heart that God hath raised him from the dead, thou shalt be saved. For with the heart man believeth unto righteousness; and with the mouth confession is made unto salvation.

Romans 5:8 But God commendeth his love toward us, in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.

John 3:16 For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.

Revelation 3:20 Behold, I stand at the door, and knock: if any man hear my voice, and open the door, I will come in to him, and will sup with him, and he with me.

Family Tree

Bob was born July 17, 1946 to Hayden Grable Smith and Zarah Margaret Powell in Ridgely, TN. His mother, Zarah, was born July 11, 1924 and died February 20, 2001 in Tiptonville, TN. His father, Hayden, was born December 5, 1921 in Fulton County, KY to Charles H. Smith and Ethel Richardson. He died August 3, 1998 in Tiptonville, TN.

Charles H. Smith was born August 3, 1862 in Louisville, KY to Edwin F. Smith and Malvina Shirley and died September 9, 1947 in Dyersburg, TN. He married his first wife, Annie L. Fruit in 1884. She died in 1903. Charles owned and operated a shingle mill in Owl Hoot, TN. He married his second wife, Ethel Richardson February 14, 1912 in Tiptonville, TN. (She was 13.) Ethel was born December 21, 1898 in Kentucky to Richard J. and Mattie Richardson. She died June 1987 in Ridgley, TN. Charles and Ethel had 5 children: Walker Delores "Tommy" Smith (1915-2004), Clarence Hubbard Fritz Smith (1918-2010), Hayden Grable Smith (1921-1998), Doris Smith, and Richard Goalder Smith.

Edwin F. Smith was born Nov 20, 1837 in Ohio. He died July 21, 1873 in Clark County, IN. He married Malvina Shirley (1837-1895) on Nov 14, 1859 in Louisville, KY. Edwin was an engineer on a steamboat. He fought for the Union during the Civil War and was an engineer on the USS Switzerland as part of the Mississippi River Brigade. Edwin and Malvina had 5 children: Elizabeth Colson Smith (1862-1950), Charles H. Smith (1862-1947), May E Smith (1866-1928), Amelia Broner Smith (1869-1934), and Shipman P Smith (1873-1884).

Poem

We think of you in silence,

We often speak your name.

But all we have are memories,

And your picture in a frame.

Your resting place we visit,

And put flowers there with care.

But no one knows the heartache,

As we turn and leave you there.

Poem

God saw you were getting tired,

And a cure was not to be.

So he put His arms around you,

And whispered, "Come to me."

With tearful eyes we watched you,

And saw you pass away

Although we loved you dearly,

We could not make you stay.

A golden heart stopped beating

Hard working hands laid to rest.

God broke our hearts to prove to us,

He only takes the best.

Crossing Over

Oh, please don't feel guilty

It was just my time to go.

I see you are still feeling sad,

And the tears just seem to flow.

We all come to earth for our lifetime,

And for some it's not many years.

I don' want you to keep crying

You are shedding so many tears.

I haven't really left you,

Even though it may seem so.

I have just gone to my heavenly home

And I'm closer than you know.

Just believe that when you say

my name, I'm standing next to you,

I know you long to see me,

But there's nothing I can do.

But I'll still send you messages

And hope you understand,

That when your time comes to

"cross over," I'll be there

to take your hand.

This song played a minute after Bob died that was heard by Polly and Uncle Pete.

"If You Only Knew"

Have you prayed for a loved one struggling hard with pain

You asked the Lord for healing but that healing never came.

And in spite of all your efforts the good Lord called him home.

Now you're down in the valley looking up to the sky

And you're praying, "Lord you know what's best, but I don't understand why."

If you could hear your loved one speaking now to you

They'd say, "You wouldn't be grieving if you only knew."

If you only knew, I'm just going home.

Your prayers have been answered, my sickness is gone.

Things look much better from heaven's view.

The sun always shines, we're having a time.

If you only knew.

To be absent from the body is present with the Lord.

"I'm in the arms of Jesus now and I'm not suffering anymore."

Hand in hand we'll stroll together down heaven's avenue.

And we're having a big celebration...if you only new.

If you only knew, I'm just going home.

Your prayers have been answered, my sickness is gone.

Things look much better from heaven's view.

The sun always shines, we're having a time

If you only knew.

Things look much better from heaven's view.

The sun always shines, we're having a time.

If you only knew!!

Just One More Day

Just One More Day to Hold Your Hand

Oh how I wish we had one more day

To tell each other the things we want to say.

Just one more day to show love in our special way.

Just one more time to look into your eyes

To see them sparkle before you die.

Just to be close to you I would stay

Why couldn't you have lingered just one more day?

To show the love we had for many years

To hold each other through our tears.

To talk about the precious times,

To share a kiss and know you were mine.

Just one more chance I wish we had,

To share our memories good and bad.

Only if we had just one more day,

My heat is filled with things I would say.

But you left me in such a hurry,

I know you didn't want me to worry.

But I needed you just one more day,

To show me what to do without you along the way.

~From your loving wife, Polly

* * * * * * * * * *

Bobby Joe Smith of Imperial, MO went

Home to the Lord, Sunday, April 6, 2014

Beloved husband of 46 years to Paulette “Polly” Smith (nee: Ethridge)

Loving dad of David Smith of House Springs and Phillip (Jessi) Smith of Dittmer.

Dear GrandBob of Ethan and Aaron Smith.

Dear brother of Richard Smith of Kentucky, Mary Ethel Cromwell of Tennessee,

Peggy Berkbigler of Lake St. Louis, MO and Charles “Wade” Smith of Edwardsville, IL.

Dear brother-in-law of Dale Ethridge of Imperial.

Dear uncle, great uncle and friend.

If desired, please make expressions of sympathy in

Bobby’s memory to the American Cancer Society.

Mr. Smith was a charter member of Crusade Baptist Temple.

The funeral service will be conducted in the Chapel of

Hoffmeister South County Chapel at 1515 Lemay Ferry Road

on Thursday, April 10, 2014 at 11:30 a.m.,

officiated by Pastor Gary Bookout.

Interment will follow in Mount Hope Cemetery.

Visitation on Wednesday, April 9, from 3-8 p.m.

Please share memories and offer condolences

at hoffmeistsersouthcounty.com