Vivian Cristine Spendley

Vivian was born in Honolulu, Hawaii, to William John Spendley, Jr. and Vanessa Cristine Small Spendley, soon followed by her brother Tucker. Vivian attended St. Bernadette Catholic School K-8th grade and graduated from Bishop Ireton last spring. She was in the waning months of her first year at Penn State, where she had hoped to graduate with a degree in speech language pathology.

Vivian was a light in the world, and we were all the better for having that light shine on us for however brief we were blessed to have her in our lives. Bill, Vanessa, and Tucker will forever hold Vivian’s light in their hearts. Let us pray that light overcomes the darkness of their loss.

Vivian and Vanessa were the proverbial two peas in a pod. Affectionately known as the “other Gilmore Girls,” Vivian was Rory to Vanessa’s Lorelai, right down to the clever, rapid-fire banter, pop culture references, and laughter. In many ways, where Vanessa led, Vivian followed, but as time went on it was often where Vivian led, Vanessa followed. Vanessa tried to teach Vivian about how to navigate the world, but with a child like Vivian, Vanessa learned as much as she taught. Vivian was also gaining a fierce independence that made Vanessa proud, but always maintaining that strong bond with her mother. While there were deep talks, there was also so much joy and laughter. Anyone who knows the two of them could instantly recognize Vivian’s beautiful blue eyes as a reflection of Vanessa’s, and now we will forever see Vivian reflected in Vanessa’s eyes. That should be a comfort to us all.

Vivian was the rare child who was a Mama’s girl and a Daddy’s girl. She was the best of both of them. She had her father wrapped around her finger in the most beautiful way, and her pure heart rarely took advantage of that power. Bill spent years watching shows Vivian was interested in and other very un-Bill-like activities just to connect with his precious Vivi. To Bill’s true joy, in recent years Vivian embraced hockey and football, especially the Rangers and the New York Giants, the latter requiring a bit stronger of a constitution. They spent hours discussing the team games, players, and prospects. However, the most special time they spent together was when Vivi would ask Bill if she could accompany him on one of his long walks, and they discussed whatever was on her mind, no matter how big or small and often about some of those deep thoughts Vivi was known for.

Vivian was intelligent and full of information like her Dad and quickly learned his work ethic. Though some subjects may not have come easily to Vivian, she would invest enough time, practice, and energy that the end result would look almost effortless. She worked hard in everything she did, including school, taking AP, dual enrollment, and honors classes. She painstakingly tackled every new challenge and was inducted into the National Honor Society.

Vivian was sister, confidante, partner in crime, and sometime nemesis to her brother Tucker. Vivian’s laugh was well-known with her friends and family, but when she laughed with Tuck at some silly thing he said or did to entertain her, it was the richest, most heartfelt, beautiful sound you have ever heard. Vivi and Tuck in many ways were very different, but they shared a closeness that was palpable when you were in the room with them. Death cannot break that bond, and Tuck will take comfort that Vivi is with him forever.

Vivian was also loved dearly by grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins. Vivian’s authenticity and willingness to be her complete self, unapologetically, often astounded them. If Vivi trusted you, she let you see all of her. You got carte blanche – full transparency. You got the whole Viv. She was honest, and she invited you to be the same. She was passionate in her convictions and her aunts especially appreciated her ability to engage in long, meaningful conversations.

They say it takes a village to raise a child, and oh, what a village Bill and Vanessa provided Vivian. Group vacations with “the families” that made up this village of friends, the Springboard, St. Bernadette, and Bishop Ireton communities, all of whom enveloped Viv in love and support and created deep and long-lasting friendships that were forever changed by their relationships with Vivi.

For a self-proclaimed introvert, Vivian excelled at finding and building quality friendships based on laughter, shared jokes, and a fun-loving, teasing spirit. Many friends call Vivian their role model – someone who helped shape who they’ve become today. These friendships withstood both time and distance, punctuated by memories called “formative” as often as they are called “silly.” For Izzy Boo Bear and Gubby Goo, like all of us, life will never be the same without Vivi, but they carry with them the adventures big and small, and most of all, the endless laughter. May they carry Vivi’s spirit with them as they continue the adventure.

Viv had a gift for cultivating friendships with amazing people, and her friendships at Penn State were no different. She prized quality over quantity, and even though Vivian was at school less than a year, her impact on the lives she touched was significant. We have no doubt her presence will be felt by friends at Penn State with whom she developed meaningful and lasting connections.

Many know Vivi’s love of music and her iconic playlists, as well as her incredible talent on the stage. She was a prolific songwriter and had the voice of an angel. She took comfort in music and mastering a variety of instruments, but she was also so much more. She was sweet, insightful, empathetic, joyful, funny, playful, goofy, curious, intelligent, among other amazing traits. The place where she felt most at peace was tucked into a carefully scouted pocket of the library at Penn State – which was the first place she took her parents during their visits. With a Starbucks coffee in one hand and a book in the other, Viv cherished those moments of tranquility. When the weather behaved, Viv would plant herself beneath the perfect tree or on the perfect bench – a pink Stanley keeping her drink chilled, her pink headphones locking away everything else, and again, always a book or a carefully curated playlist in hand.

Those trees will continue to grow. The hidden library pockets, discovered by others. But just as assuredly, Vivian’s authentic, fun-loving spirit will live on in the lives she has touched. Maybe you’ll take in a beautiful sunset because she inspired you to stop and admire the beauty or belt out that Broadway song at the top of your lungs. Perhaps you will speak up in favor of kindness, remembering that’s what Vivi would have done – complimenting someone or simply offering a smile. Or maybe it will be a rainy, chilly afternoon, and you will wrap your hands around a hot drink and whisper, “Cheers, Viv.” Her life was cut so painfully, unfathomably short – but her memories can last as long as we do.

Thank you for loving our Vivian. We know she loved you right back. We leave you with Vivian’s own advice in her journal: be productive, eat healthy, exercise, take care of your skin, be grateful, be empathetic, be considerate, and always be kind.

Vivian is survived by her parents, Bill and Vanessa; her brother, Tucker; paternal grandparents Bill & Jan Spendley and maternal grandparents, Pat & Cris Small, aunts and uncles and cousins and her beloved dog, Gracie.

In lieu of flowers, contributions in Vivian's memory may be made to The Brain Aneurysm Foundation, www.bafound.org; and The Women’s Center, www.thewomenscenter.org.