Ellen "Sis" Marie Herbert

Ellen was born December 1, 1944, in the Palisades neighborhood of Washington, D.C. She graduated from Western High School, and she spent her entire career in government service. She retired after 34 years as a courtroom clerk for the U.S. Federal District Court. Ellen loved her family. Although not the eldest of her siblings, she took on the role, ensuring each of her siblings’ needs always came before her own. When two of her siblings caught on fire when a gasoline can ignited, Ellen immediately tackled both to the ground and put out the flames, saving them from serious injury. Ellen loved her friends as though they were family. She maintained friendship with her best friend, Maureen, since 1963. She always placed the needs of her friend, and her friend’s family, above her own. Ellen never committed acts of kindness in a “big” way. She was steady and reliable for those she loved, often making everything somehow invisibly OK, without anyone even knowing until many years later. She understood that love is willing the good of the other, simply for their own sake. Not for any benefit that would come her way. Ellen loved to laugh. Often at night, when everyone was tucked in, she could be heard laughing at a movie or a TV show. Her laugh was truly infectious. Hearing her laugh would make one start laughing. Ellen loved to cook and bake. She did so endlessly and always for the ones she loved. The Christmas season always found Ellen baking what seemed like 500 cranberry nut breads. All spread out on cooling racks, they looked like bricks wrapped in aluminum foil. Each was baked with love–some perfect, some “doughy,” and some a little burnt. But Ellen never stressed out about the imperfections. She understood that life is imperfect, it is the heart that matters. Ellen spent quality time with Maureen’s grandchildren watching cooking shows for recipes or laughing endlessly with the kids watching SpongeBob SquarePants. Along with cooking, Ellen loved to eat. She loved food. When McDonald’s advertised 99 cent Big Macs, Ellen always wanted to be first in line. But she didn’t want to be obvious about it. She would ask Maureen’s children, “Who wants a Big Mac?” Even if it was 10 p.m. on a weekday, she would take the kids to get Big Macs, enjoying the joy of the simple pleasures in life… having a Big Mac, and watching the kids so happy in the moment. Ellen was an adventurous eater. She would give any food a try. Later in life, when she was offered handmade tamales and pupusas, Ellen not only found them delicious, but she knew they were made especially for her, out of love. Ellen loved homemade food. Food was love. Ellen was love. Ellen’s love extended to the dogs throughout her life… Bridget, Susie, Max, Mandy, Buddy, Chelsea, Charlie, Murphy, and Gracie. Dogs meant a lot to Ellen. And no matter how hard she was laughing at the Golden Girls, when it went to a commercial for the ASPCA, Ellen was reduced to tears.

She was preceded in death by her parents, Kenneth and Virginia Herbert, and three brothers, Kenneth, James, and Donald. She is survived by one sister, Kathleen Stinnette of California, and a cousin, Sally Barnes of Virginia. She leaves behind her lifelong friend of 61 years and caretaker, Maureen Higgins of Virginia, and Maureen’s three children, Tim Higgins, Kelly Giles, and Kevin Higgins, whom she loved as her own. She is survived as well by the children and grandchildren of these three, whom she loved dearly.

The family would like to thank the doctors and nurses on duty in the ER at Fairfax Hospital on December 16. Their care for Ellen as a patient was matched only by the compassion, kindness, and dignity they gave her family as they said goodbye.

A Requiem Mass will be held on Tuesday, January 9 at 10 a.m., at St. Michael’s in Annandale, Virginia. All are welcome to attend the reception following mass. Noon--3:30 at Kilroy’s, 5650 Port Royal Rd, Springfield, Virginia 22151