Nancy Julia Gaffney

Vincenza Guila Agnoli was born on January 24, 1930 in Tenafly, New Jersey. Her parents, Silvio and Mary Agnoli and her brother Joseph emigrated to the US through Ellis Island from Italy a few years prior to her birth. Our grandmother, wanting to assimilate into American culture, asked her friend for the English name for Vincenza, to which she replied “Nancy”. From then on, my mother was called Nancy.

The family moved a few years after Mom was born to the small town of Carmel, NY. For several years, Grandpa Agnoli, fluent in both Italian and German practiced speaking English as he walked to work every day from Carmel to Mahopac, N.Y. where he worked for the water company. He forbade Italian to be spoken at home and though Mom understood Italian, she didn’t speak much. The family had humble beginnings and lived through the depression of the 1930’s. Noni took in ironing and cleaned houses to make money. With her limited English, she took out a book from the library and taught herself to raise chickens. The house they lived in had an outhouse and Noni would heat bricks in the winter to warm their beds. Hard working and frugal, our grandparents were able to buy a house on Fair Street in Carmel and Grandpa became a respected carpenter in town.

Mom was very well rounded with an active social life and in addition to being the class of 1947 salutatorian, she was involved in sports, as well as drama.

During her teenage years, she had a summer job at the IGA in town. Many families escaped the New York City heat and vacationed at Lake Carmel. In the summer of 1946, a handsome Irishman from the Bronx got a job at the supermarket. They fell in love and our dad proposed to mom when she was only 17 years old! Dad had a great sense of humor and she always talked about the fun they had together, which she often said was part of the recipe for a good marriage. However, Mom told Dad they were too young to marry and rejected his proposal. Dad went to Iona College in New Rochelle, NY earning a degree in Liberal Arts after which he joined the Christian Brothers, a religious community dedicated to teaching underprivileged youth. Realizing that he wanted to marry, he left the order. Soon after, he joined the Air Force. Dad never forgot Mom and in 1954 he asked his sister Betty to contact Mom. Finding that she was still single, Dad sent her a letter again proposing marriage. She accepted and they were married on March 9, 1955 in Biloxi, Mississippi where dad was stationed.

They bought a small trailer and moved to Houston, Texas and in April of 1956 Madeleine (Lyn) was born. A year later, they moved to Tucson, Arizona and Michael was born in May of 1957. After Dad left the Air Force, they settled in Bronx, New York and both worked in Manhattan while dads’ parents watched the kids.

Mom was a very attractive woman with a quick wit. She related a story that one evening when she was in Grand Central Station waiting for the train, a man approached her and said “Hey baby what are you doing tonight”? To which mom replied “diapers!” June of 1959 brought another addition to the family, Vincent.

Soon thereafter, Mom and Dad sold the Bronx house and moved to Lake Carmel. Dad had a career change and began teaching Spanish at Lakeland High School. At that point, Mom became a stay-at-home mom and in October of 1961, Nancy was born followed by John in February of 1964. Mom had her hands full with 5 small children and our Dad with his get rich schemes ala Ralph Kramden. One endeavor, indestructible “beaver shoes” was one of those schemes. We tested them by throwing them under the wheels of cars. Not sure if he even sold one pair. He also entered into a partnership with his sister for a lakeside restaurant “The Spa”. Mom was constantly cooking for the business, making huge pots of meatballs and all the while chasing after 5 rambunctious kids. Eventually, the partnership dissolved.

In 1965 our parents were able to buy a home in Carmel, a dream come true. With 5 kids and a teacher’s salary, our Dad often worked 2 jobs to make ends meet. That left Mom at home full time to put up with the craziness of 5 kids. Sure, she yelled and screamed a lot, “get the hell out of my kitchen” was one of her favorite expressions. Mom always made sure we had dinner together, she grew a vegetable garden every year, tended roses and tulips, canned vegetables and made homemade jellies and jams. She always made Christmas magical with a ton of presents under the Christmas tree and was busy making homemade cookies and decorations. She knitted mittens, patched pants (“Do you boys have razor blades in your knees”?) How she was able to do all of that and more remains a mystery.

Vinnie remembers that when he was about 10 years old, he was really upset about having to wear eye glasses anticipating being made fun of at school. He remembers how understanding Mom was about it and the day they went to pick up the glasses, Mom took Vinnie out for lunch at a deli where they had salami and cheese. He’ll never forget Mom saying “You gotta roll up the salami, it tastes better that way”. Mom was always driving us all over town and when Mike was in a band in high school, she was driving them to a gig with all of the equipment in our station wagon. She was pulled over, the cop thinking she was part of the band. When the officer found out who she was (Dad worked part-time as a cop), he let her go without a ticket.

Mom always had a calm demeanor which complemented Dad’s boisterous personality. She rarely lost her temper, but Vinnie remembers an incident where he and a friend shoplifted some tools and were caught. Mom was really mad, and Vinnie promised never to do it again if she didn’t tell Dad. Our Dad was a character with his jokes and antics, but Mom was always there with the wisecracks and quick comebacks. One day during summer vacation, Lyn got mad and told Mom she was running away from home. To which Mom replied “OK then take off your clothes, they belong to me”! Dad was always building raging fires in the winter and Mom nicknamed him Fire McGuire. She complained and complained about it being too hot in the house and finally she couldn’t take it anymore. She came out to the living room in her bathing suit “For God’s sake Larry stop with the fire”! In 1966, we had a lightning strike that resulted in a fire. My dad’s boss invited us to stay with her and her husband while our house was repaired. We lived in a huge house built in the 1800’s. What could have been an awkward situation was smoothed over by mom’s pleasant personality, arranging happy hours, cooking gourmet meals, and baking.

In addition to the kids, there were the crazy relatives. Uncle Edward was what Dad called a “beatnik” and would show up unannounced, often broke and in need. Mom was always very gracious and we never heard her complain when Dad gave him a helping hand. Another relative, Dad’s Aunt Lil came to live with us and watch us while Mom went to work in a bank. Aunt Lil had no children and was an absolute disaster. She drove us all crazy, but mom coped by making jokes and wisecracks.

One of Mom’s maxims was “if you don’t have something nice to say about someone, don’t say anything” and she lived it by not taking sides, gossiping or causing family drama. She was always kind to the neighborhood kids who would regularly show up to our house for meals. “Mrs. Gaffney I can smell your food all the way down the street”.

Mom and Dad retired in Palm Bay Florida in 1986. They easily made new friends and had a lot of fun with their best friends, Bill and Lois Temple who visited from New York. They were finally able to relax after many years of responsibility. They spent a lot of time together Toll painting, going to the beach and yard sales, involved in church and spending time with the grandkids.

After Dad passed away in 2004, Mom sold the house and moved to Miami. In 2018 she moved to independent living at the Princess Martha in St. Petersburg, Florida. At 87 years old, she adapted well to her new surroundings, making many friends and participating in activities. Her favorites were Bingo, Scrabble and Happy Hour.

Mom is survived by her 5 children: Madeleine Burke, Michael Gaffney, Vincent Gaffney, Nancy VerEecke, and John Gaffney, 9 grandchildren: Amy Hurtado, Patrick Burke, Jason Gaffney, Kristopher Gaffney, Vincent Gaffney, Jr, Nicholas Gaffney, David VerEecke, Alexandra VerEecke, and Donovan Gaffney and 7 great grandchildren Valentina, Viviana and Victoria Borges, Jorge and Athena Hurtado, Vincent Gaffney III, and Luca VerEecke. We were blessed to have our Mom for 91 years. We will all continue to be influenced by her goodness, devotion to family and great sense of humor. We will miss you Mom and remember all of the good times.

Nana’s favorite sayings:

You have to be careful on days like this!

Are you getting a snack or defrosting the refrigerator?

We’ll see (Generally means no)

If you lie down with dogs you get up with fleas

All work and no play makes John a dull boy

An Irish 7 course meal is a six pack and a potato

I’m telling you for the umpteenth time!

It’s 5 o’clock somewhere!

I have a bone to pick with you

Get the hell out of my kitchen

For Christmas all I want is for you kids to be good!

WHATEVER!

Oh you know what I wanted to tell you…(followed by orders to do something)

Holy Hannah!

Up Mike’s and down Jake’s

Like it or lump it

Funeral Mass will be held on Saturday, August 7, 2021

10 AM at The Cathedral of St. Jude the Apostle Catholic Church

5815 5th Ave N, St. Petersburg, Florida.