If you’re listening now to.the sound of my voice, it’s because I have gone on to be with my precious Savior Jesus Christ. I know how you feel. Sad. I’ve been there. But there’s hope. Hope in God. Hope in the message of salvation. Hope that you will one day see loved ones in Heaven. Be happy for me. Don’t cry. I’m now with my husband William. My soulmate. My love. And most importantly with God.
Today, I want to tell you a story. A story about a lively, animated and curious little girl; a teen with a semi-turbulent teenage life; a young career-driven woman trying to find her purpose, and a wife whose faith was tested.
The story is entitled, ‘Trudy’.
All things work together for good. As I look back over my life, I can see all the pieces of the puzzle fitting together. That bald headed 1 year old, standing on the verandah chair in the pink dress who became Rapunzel later on in life. Time changes things.
I was an avid reader. I want to think I started to read quite well at four years old. But give or take a year.I didn't have a television during that time, but that wasn’ necessarily a bad thing. I dove into many books. To me it was like living in another world. I read everything in sight. There was this particular lady who would visit my home with books. She was like a travelling library. My mother would often tell her when I needed more books. I couldn’t wait to pick the new books. They were like drugs. Some of my favorite books were the Bobsey Twins, Nancy Drew, and Hardy Boys. Then there was my introduction to the idea of God in a book called, “My Book of Bible Stories. I recall stories of Samson and Delilah, Moses being rescued by Pharaohs daughter, David and Goliath. And a host of others.
Do you remember the part where I said I read everything in sight? Well I decided to read about communism and socialism from one of my father’s books about Castro in Cuba. Yup. I recall my tiny frame lying on the floor, scrolling through the black and white pages of the book. But the information was too deep for my young brain so I settled for looking at the pictures. Then there was this huge book called ‘The Big Book of Tell Me Why.’- Answers to Hundreds of questions Children Ask.” Which brings me to a funny story I’ve told to many persons. As my dad’s handbag, I would often accompany him places. We did a lot of walking because back then there were not many cars on the road in Jamaica. While we were walking one night, the electricity went out and the place was pitch black. The light on the posts along the street also disappeared. Like any curious child, I asked, “Daddy how come light (meaning electricity) gone but the cars still have lights on them?” A pretty decent question right? But my father responded, ‘Stop asking foolishness.” I didn’t feel too bad after though because one day while I was seated in a college classroom chatting away with other students in class because the teacher was late or absent...I don’t recall but somehow the topic came up, and one girl commented that she too asked that question as a child. (So daddy there. It wasn’t a silly question).
Back then, there were no smartphones. Kids played in the yard, and girls played ring games. At Primary school we played dodgeball, monkey in the middle, and baseball with balls we made from empty juice boxes stuffed with paper.
My dad is from a large family so I wasn’t out of supply of aunts, uncles, and cousins. I was the eldest grandchild (a badge I wore proudly). As children, my cousins and I would all visit my grandparents house on weekends and summer and Christmas holidays. It’s pretty rural with vast open fields and hills around. I was quite a tomboy. Playing cricket and soccer with the guys who I had to beg to let them make me play because in their eyes--I was a girl. However I was quite happy when my uncle who was a pro at soccer, taught me that I should not kick the ball too much with my toes--but with the inner part of my foot.
Then there were times when the other ones in my age group and I would go up to the hills to shoot birds with our slingshots.
Some of my best childhood memories were at my grandparents’ house.
I was an only child for the first nine years of my life. My mom found ways to make it interesting. Every birthday in Jamaica, I could count on her to take me to KFC (known back then as Kentucky Fried Chicken). Whether it was the KFC in Spanish Town, or the one near Kings Street in Jamaica. Then she would often take me to Coconut Park which was an amusement park in Jamaica.
During my early childhood, my horizon also broadened and I discovered America. More holidays were spent with my dad, aunt, and other relatives there. I had fun at my aunt’s house in Florida. The same aunt that had them torture me in Jamaica by piercing my ears when I was not much older than three years old. Yes I remember. But the large green lollipop made up for it though. I looked forward to the pool in her backyard, a lot of TV watching which included my favorite game show, “The Price is Right”. She had pretty decent cooking skills, and I always remembered the ‘Cream Style corn drink’ she made which was loaded with condensed milk. I even started to make it in my teen years in Jamaica.
Holidays in New York were absolutely fun. It was my all time favorite place on earth. I remember taking the subway to Manhattan with my dad, us walking through Times Square with the large digital flashing billboards, the smell of cheese pizza permeating the streets--It was bliss. So much so that my husband, who knew my love for the city, took me there for my Birthday in 2017. Man that brought back pleasant memories.
Those who know my father know he is a verys strict man. But I’ve experienced the fun sides of him. Like when he, my mom, and I took a trip to the Bronx Zoo.
The real proof of how fun he could be, was when he got on a dragon roller coaster at Playland Rye New York. I was flabbergasted.
Then there were trips to Coney Island with other family members, which was where I first learned that the bathroom was also called a restroom after seeing a sign on the wall that said ‘rest room’. I was searching for the ‘bathroom’ and after giving up, went back to the group who directed me to it. You can laugh here by the way.
My teenage years were on two different ends of the spectrum. One side was uplifting. The other side was disheartening. I won’t say much on the negative. No one is perfect. Everyone deserves a second chance right. Myself included. Some may need a third and a fourth. The song, ‘He looked beyond my faults-Amazing Grace’ which was on the program to be sung by my mother highlights this. I will however say that parents should get along for the sake of their children. It does affect a child’s emotional health and well-being. I quote, “If anyone causes one of these little ones—those who believe in me—to stumble, it would be better for them to have a large millstone hung around their neck and to be drowned in the depths of the sea.” Matthew 18:6. Hey... I didn’t say it. The Bible did.
It was during those terrible times where I accepted Jesus Christ as my savior, I got baptized, and spent hours in my room listening to worship songs. This is a very important piece of the puzzle. If it weren’t for the bad times, I probably would have never met God.
Okay so exactly what was it that was on the other spectrum of my teenage years? The good side. Besides the fact that I went to the proven to be the very best high school on the island of Jamaica---Immaculate Conception High School by the way. Or the fact that I was ‘boy crazy'? Hey I went to an all girls catholic high school. Don’t judge. The uplifting times were the ones spent sitting under the trees during lunch time, with the other girls laughing at my jokes. Not because they were funny. But because the jokes were bad. The birthday parties at friends’ houses. I passed my final exams with flying colors with scores among the best in the highschool and entire Island. I was a nerd and goody two shoo. According to my high school yearbook, I quote, “Miss Prim, Proper, Picture Perfect. Destined to become Jamaica’s number one dancehall queen.” End of quote. Well I hate to disappoint but I didn’t become the dancehall queen. The famous dancehall queen Carlene holds that title.
After high school, us girls split up going to separate universities and we tried to keep in touch as much as we could.
I studied Business Administration in college where, (i’m going to show off here) I was on scholarship that saw me being featured on TV and in newspapers. I graduated with highest honors ready to enter the world of work to accept the position of Junior Manager at Nabisco. As fancy as the title sounds, it never meant a thing in the new era of globalization which saw tiny countries like Jamaica competing in trade with countries much larger than us. I was good at Math, so I got a government job at a high school teaching Math. You know, government jobs are the safest.
I never quite saw my life past my early twenties, so I was trying to find my purpose. Apparently it was the time to get married and settle down with kids. But it was a plain no for me so I was annoyed when guys would try to as they say ‘holla at me.’ I couldn’t go to the mechanic shops without being hit on. I tried to find clever ways to say no I’m not giving you my phone number but still being nice. I toyed with the idea of becoming a nun but it would never be my cup of tea.
I started to attend Bible College during the evenings after teaching the rowdy high school students during the day. Life became mundane. I had bouts of depression. Then I decided to attend a TD Jakes conference in Atlanta in 2004, called Mega Fest- Woman thou art loosed. It was there that I asked God for direction in my life. Then I went to the altar with thousands of other attendants. We were told by the preacher to extend our faith and sow a seed offering and ask God for what we wanted. I only had $1 but it was better than nothing. So I asked God for what I wanted, then I sort of slid into the prayer that I wanted a husband. I did get him. And when I did, I often joked with him that I paid a dollar to get him.
Later down in the year 2004 after that Fiery conference in Atlanta in June, my prayer was answered. It was one of those things that you had to be at the right place at the right time. Like an appointment, where if you missed it, that moment would be gone. It was serendipity.
It was late September and I had gone on the computer. The Yahoo Christian chatroom. There were a few other chatrooms according to each person's interest such as music. On entering the Christian chatroom, I, Shy Trudy decided to write on the moving wall of the main board, 'Hi everyone'. Then someone wrote a direct message to me. ASL, to mean age, sex, location, because he or she needed to know basically who each was talking to. There were no pictures. Just avatars. It was a guy. After that basic introduction, we began to chat because it was a chatroom after all. "How are things after the hurricane?", because Hurricane Ivan had recently swiped the coast of Jamaica. I was in Jamaica at the time, and he was in Florida. It was pleasant talking to him, or in that case typing on the keyboard. The conversation was effortless. We stayed up chatting that night for hours. About everything from similar musical tastes to our careers, and our faith in God. Then he decided to go play pool online, one of his favorite pastimes. We went our separate ways, not knowing anything about contact information, other than our screen names. Well that was enough for me. I figured why not write it down. Who knows I could stalk him in the future. Well maybe not. I drew from the Bible the story of Ruth and Boaz where she waited on Boaz. So I was going to sit at that computer and if he came back and chatted with me that night, I mentioned to God that that man was going to be in my life for a very long time. So I waited. Then waddya know, ta da, he came back to the conversation. Days followed by weeks and we chatted every single day. Yours truly had a major crush on this guy. I'm a go getter, but I was also shy. So the big reveal of my major crush was in the form of an email. The contents went something along the lines of, 'I have something to tell you. What would a girl tell a guy?" And that was it. And I sent it. So we chatted on messenger and after prying the information out of me, there, he knew it. I was totally enamored with this guy named William. Then he said he liked me also but never had the courage to approach a girl, even if it was on the computer. Then came along a significant point. We hadn't really considered too much before how each other looked. It was time for picture reveal. I was already hooked so I had to grapple with the idea of what if he was not my idea of attractive. He sent his picture and I was floored. He was so handsome, cute and everything in one, and I told him that. It was time for me to send my picture and I was confident he would be fawning over me because that's what I was used to guys doing. Besides my dad had already had that father daughter talk with me that did swell my head. He said something along the lines of, you're pretty. Boys will come and tell you that you're pretty. Tell them that you know that already. So I sent the picture, and later that day on the phone I waited for his comment and his response was, " You look alright". I was stunned. As upset as I was, I realized that he was the one. He was probably the only guy I had met who had never followed protocol. However I did let him know that he fell outside the normal distribution curve of guys opinions of my looks. Eventually he did reveal that he was just glad I didn't look like a mutt, and that he found me quite attractive. So our interactions proceeded to webcams. When I wasn't at work I was talking to him. Bible School became history. He had to balance working at nights and talking to me during the days. I would tell him at times to sleep but he would eventually call me saying he had to talk to me. William loved to write poems and I was the recipient of many. I called him William Shakespeare at times. I recalled telling him one day that my mother and brother said I was obsessed with him. So he wrote me a poem entitled, "Obsession Chuh". Yes that was the title. 'Obsession Chuh'.
We got married on August 20, 2005. We knew God placed us together. We were in each other's presence most of the time. Nearly all the time. We even worked at the same companies sometimes. He spoke about his wife to everyone. William had a radio voice and he worked in customer service. He would share stories with me of how women on the phone including old ladies would get caught up with his voice. He said his answer to them was, "You must not know my wife. You might not want to say that because, "And in the news today wife harms woman because." He was a comedian and you never left his presence sad.
I lost my husband suddenly when he was 42 years old. I was a widow at age 40. Before he died, we always prayed together each morning and the prayer included in it each time, "and Lord when we come to be with you in heaven, we want it to be at the same time, and let us be right beside each other, and let it be pain free." Well, we didn't die at the same exact time. But we're like those old couples where when one dies, the other dies soon after. When William died, I wasn't bitter with God. I didn't fall into depression. I received supernatural peace and strength from God. Though it was heart-wrenching I'm glad William went first. God had a reason he took William first. He knew I wouldn't want William to be sad when I left earth. We both knew I was going to die soon from Stage 4 metastatic breast cancer. So God called William home first to be safe in his arms. Therefore I could die in peace knowing that my loving husband would not be left behind. Besides, God is very smart. If we died together at the same time, who would be left to sort out the paperwork.
Family, loved ones, friends, and well-wishers, I know you loved and love me. Please accept Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior. Then you will see me again in Heaven. John 3:16 says, "For God so loved the world, that he He gave his only begotten Son; that whosoever believeth in Him, should not perish, but have everlasting life."
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