In the arms of her mother and with her husband at her side, Mary Lou passed on Wednesday, July 31, 2013. Mary Lou was welcomed into heaven on a beautiful calm summer night. Mary Lou was a wonderful mother, wife, sister, comadre and friend.
From a young age, she was always known as "Marilou." Her students at Washington Elementary called her "Mrs. Hernandez.” Close friends affectionately knew her "Lou” and her peers and coworkers called her as “LouLou."
Mary Lou was born in the Santa Maria, CA. She had a strong personality, even at a young age. As a child, she lived with her family in Nipomo, a small farm town. She was the fourth of five children. Even though she enjoyed school, learning did not come easy to her, and she struggled to complete assignments. As a girl, she loved playing in the fields with her brothers and having adventures in the creek behind their house. One of her fondest childhood memories includes her father bringing home fresh strawberries from the fields and making his special strawberry drinks.
Mary Lou attended Dana School and Arroyo Grande High School. She was involved in 4 Square youth group. As a teenager, she loved spending time with her nieces and nephews: Veronica, Gabriel, Samson, and Moses. And later also adored her “million dollar baby” her niece Tori.
Although she never received her High School diploma, she was determined to continue her studies and get a good education. Mary Lou attended Hancock Community College in Santa Maria where she met her close friends Diana, Michelle, Melissa and Collette. They became regulars at Tortilla Flats and liked to have a good time. Mary Lou supported herself through school by working at a gas station.
After finishing her general education at Hancock, Mary Lou moved to San Jose, CA to pursue a degree at San Jose State University. She entered as a Business major, but as she became more aware of social inequities in the community, she developed a passion for social justice. She then changed her major to Sociology. In 2002, she earned her Bachelor's of Art Degree. While at SJSU, she was involved in MEChA (Movimiento Estudiantil Chicano de Aztlan) and was a part of the inaugural cohort of INVST (International National Voluntary Service Training), all while also working part-time. It was at SJSU in a Mexican American Studies history class that she met the man who would later become her husband. They began dating shortly before her graduation.
After graduation, she worked at the San Jose Family Shelter as a family advocate working to improve the lives of homeless women and children.
On August 7, 2004, in the presence of family and friends she entered into holy matrimony to David Hernandez at a beachfront wedding in Pismo. Thus continued many years of loving her “Pookie” unconditionally. Like the strong-willed, educated Chicana that she was, Mary Lou had a clear vision of what she wanted in life and took no hesitation in running her household.
In 2005, while still working full time at the shelter, she obtained her PPS credential and her Master's Degree in Counselor Education. At this time, she and David were expecting their first son. Her graduate degree was one of her many proud accomplishments as only less than 3% of Latinas in the US ever obtain this level of education.
On December 11, 2005, she gave birth to Judah Xiucuahutli weighing 2.9 lbs. a smiling little eagle of fire with infamous light brown curly hair. After 29 days in the NICU, baby Judah was able to go home with mom and dad.
Mary Lou began her career as an educator as a counselor at Hoover Middle School and later moved on to be a counselor at Washington Elementary School where she remained for the last 6 years of her life. She was well known by her peers for her smiling face, no nonsense attitude, playful teasing, and ability to encourage students to excel. All her students were her “mijos”, and she constantly identified their positive traits, strengths, and potential. She believed that all children could achieve greatness if given the right opportunities.
She maintained close relationships with many of her students and their families even long after graduation from Washington. She took pride in serving first-generation communities and paving the path for the next generation. Her favorite work activities were her small groups such as PowerRanger Club and the grupo Madre a Madre.
She was a fierce advocate for education. Mary Lou dedicated her life to working with low-income families and making strides toward eradicating poverty. It broke her heart to see children go without especially at Christmas. Which is why every year, she spent countless hours coordinating the Giving Tree project and recruited friends and family to pass out toys to Washington neighborhood children. She also helped start Fuerza Escolar (FE), a literacy mentoring project for her struggling 3rd, 4th, and 5th graders readers. She paired them up San Jose State Students students through the Cesar Chavez Community Action Center.
In 2009, she gave birth to her second son Lucas Sebastian who weighed 4lbs 14 oz. a feisty strong-willed little boy that has showed lots of resilience with numerous surgeries and hospital stays. Mary Lou was always by his side until baby Lucas was well enough to come home. She also often spent time visiting with other children at the Children’s Hospital whose families could not be there with them.
Since then, she became a strong supporter of the JW House, a respite for families with hospitalized children. She was vigilant about her children’s health and kept in touch with the kids and families she met while Lucas was in the hospital. On her Facebook, she would post their updates and ways to support families and their mini patients.
Mary Lou loved attending sports events and especially enjoyed tailgating. She could be found at A’s and Giants’ game and SJSU football games. She was everyone's "go to person" for advice and assistance, especially for those in need of an honest opinion.
She loved Coach, shoes, mani/pedis, champagne Thursdays, Urban Decay make-up, Toms, Greys Anatomy and a cold can of Coke.
She loved the beach, dolphins, eating Hawaiian shaved ice for breakfast, and jewelry, especially her rare spotted jaguar diamond engagement ring.
She loved music of all kinds: Pop, 90’s, R&B, Oldies, Mariachi, Rock en Español and even Country. She enjoyed going to the movies, musicals, family barbeques and being home.
She was always proud of the being an educated Chicana and coming from a Mexican immigrant farmworker family background.
She believed that parties would not be complete without kids. She loved seeing her boys play with Anahi, Manuelito, Yazmin, CJ, Citlali and Caleb. She enjoyed their laughter and liked hearing them make up stories and resolve their own problems.
She enjoyed her trips to the East Coast, Cancun, Costa Rica, Guadalajara, Guanajuato, and every year on their anniversary, Mary Lou continued to say “I do” at Sea Ventures in Pismo Beach where she and David were married.
Her sisters in travesuras were her college friends from INVST and SJSU who later became her comadres: her roomie Maribel Martinez, her co party-planner Jessica Gonzalez and check-in counselor Corina Herrera. And later, Judah’s secret crush, Nancy Lopez joined the elite group of comadres and compañeras.
Mary Lou was a dependable friend to many. She was comforting to talk to, and the type of friend who provided you with either insightful guidance doused with a witty sense of humor or una buena regañada, most of the time both to get you through anything. She was always known for telling you the truth, straight up- no matter what. She had a caring spirit, loved jokes and being silly, was feisty and was truly like no other. She never hesitated to give you her all and always said “I love you” Y “te quiero mucho.”
Her greatest joy was being a wife to David and a mother to her two boys Judah and Lucas whom she nicknamed “Cuau” and “Quitas.” Mary Lou was a loving, doting, yet firm mom. She often said “I believed in miracles I have 2 of mine own! Judah and Lucas both have been my inspiration! They remind me to never give up!”
Despite her very active life, Mary Lou struggled with Neurofibromatosis since birth. She always knew that there was a possibility that tumors would develop and a very, very low chance that the tumors could mutate into cancerous cells.
In 2011, doctors removed a tumor the size of a soft ball from her back that was pushing against her lungs. She underwent radiation to eradicate it. That tumor never came back.
However, in the March of 2012 she was diagnosed again with a high-grade sarcoma, a type of cancer more likely to undergo metastasis and weaken the body. This time the tumor was in operable, and she was told that her time was limited. Doctors recommended chemotherapy treatment not to reduce or eliminate the cancer but simply to slow the growth of the tumor.
She began grueling rounds of chemotherapy. She fought each day with the strength, positive attitude with the same love for life as she always had. What should be remembered about Mary Lou’s battle is how she remained a courageous warrior the entire time. She inspired many with her unwavering faith in love, family, and God.
In the last year, she spent time with loved ones. She went back to work, attended baptisms, weddings, most importantly, made sure her kids had the best birthday parties ever from Scooby Doo dress up to a Pirates Treasure Hunt. In the last months, she travelled to the snow in Oregon, went to the San Diego Zoo and SeaWorld, build sandcastles on beaches of Maui, and went camping with her beautiful family and adoring friends. She also became “Nina” to baby Brenda and baby Nicolas Cash.
She taught her students that no one can take away your education or your dignity and showed them what truly mattered in life. She was an example of what love for life looked like. Despite any pain or struggle, she firmly believed in getting up and enjoying the day.
She was a strong mujer guerrera in every way. To her family and everyone she met, she continued to be a hero who defied odds, amazing all with her smile, wit, silliness, and unwavering love and loyalty to her husband and kids.
Mary Lou Hernandez was born in Santa Maria, CA on October 10, 1974. Mary Lou is survived by her loving husband David Hernandez, her children Judah and Lucas, her parents Antonia and Evaristo Gonzalez and siblings Virginia Killian, Jose Gonzalez and David Gonzalez. She is preceded by her brother Jesus Gonzalez.
Mary Lou valued loyalty and family above all else and in turn was loved and remembered by many who received her friendship and support. She reminded all around to take joy in the simple things, such as foot massages, besitos, and slumber parties. She always spoke of her greatest loves by saying that David was her rock, Judah was her heart and Lucas was her courage.
Her last wish was for her friends and family to record or write honest and funny memories of her to be shared with her children.
SHARE OBITUARY
v.1.8.18