Stephen Donald Bates

Steve was the greatest bright light to all that he touched. Most men leave a legacy with little effect on those around them in pursuit of a fulfilling life. Not Steve. No way. He was everywhere. And he was genuine.

If Steve was one of his many dishes, a main ingredient was his fierceness to survive. As a young man he was forced to walk with clenched fists until he volunteered to join the US Army and deploy to the Vietnam war at age 17. In a place where strength and courage were required, he had both, in spades. At age 19, he returned home with a purple heart and a broken body. Nobody could take him down though. Maybe a normal man, but not him.

Yet inside, an equally portioned ingredient was his creative and gentle soul searching for the peace and love we all deserve. He was a published writer and a poet. A musician and adventurer. A dreamer and a thinker. He found the same in his wife, little Linda.

Father to Samantha, Jessica, Dori and Remy. Steve and Linda raised their family with the love and lessons to help others. Together they established a Thanksgiving meal for the homeless. Gifts for the needy at Christmas. Who does that? They both did, raising four kids, on a single income, in their early 30’s, while Steve worked towards his master’s degree at the University of Puget Sound, graduating magna cum laude. So, add a large tablespoon of intelligence.

Joining the Ocean Beach community in 1999, you could find him at dog beach or park with one or more of his doggies, at the grill at one of the famous Long Branch street parties, slugging homers at the softball field or on the lawn bowling fields. He could be found mentoring struggling Veterans and helping people he felt were dealt a crappy hand in life. He would jump right into the foxhole and tell them guys he knew the way out.

We are going to need a bigger bowl, because this guy was so much to so many people. And that was his style.

Food is love and everyone in this family knew it. He would cook up the most fantastic pancake, sausage, and egg breakfasts every Saturday morning on his griddle, and if you were lucky enough to be there you might get to debate the newest Dear Abby column. He was like living with a line cook with a culinary arts degree. Needs more butter!

Then he had a side of humor that he served up any time he had the chance. There were some one liners, but he liked the complex situational stuff. The kind that posed problems and made you think. He also wrote the most entertaining weekly summary for a couple sports and fantasy leagues, and it was always the highlight. Sho nuff!

Steve was always competitive at whatever sport or game he played, and it was those venues that allowed people to connect, laugh and celebrate. He loved it. Where else can a group of guys slap butts and celebrate? (rhetorical question). He always loved to play cribbage to anyone that would have him… and he was great at that too!

We had such a gift in Steve. Everyone seemed to love his story. The way he lived and loved.

We celebrate the life of a man that was a bear but was careful not to step on the flowers in life. He leaves a very painful hole in all our hearts for the moment, but we know he is all around us. His legacy will live on in each of us who had the honor to know him and be loved by him. His recipe for a happy and loving life has been written. And it was very good.