Mary Lou Starmack

Our Mom (or Lou, or Grandma, or GeeGee) or a host of other affectionate nicknames was born Mary Lou Shoemaker on October 7, 1932 in Westerville, Ohio. The “Lou” was short for Lucinda, Mom’s grandmother’s name. Mom’s father was Walter Scott Shoemaker, a neighborhood bread delivery man. Her Mom, Gladys was a home maker in the early years and a nanny/housekeeper when she came to live with our family later in life.

Mom had an amazing memory, able to recount childhood stories and memories as if she was living them today. Whether it was recalling family parties, new “hand-me-down” dresses, her Dad’s homemade ice cream, her very first kiss (she remembered this “spin the bottle” story with great detail), or reminiscing of her quiet walks by “duck pond” on the way to elementary school.

My sister Stephanie would sit with Mom and frantically write as Mom would recount her younger years one story after the next. Not a wealthy family by any stretch, Mom would later say “I don’t have any idea what our family finances were. I had everything I ever needed.”

She vividly recalls the day Dad asked her to marry him. 3-1/2 weeks after meeting each other, they were sitting in the front seat of a friend’s car (making out). Dad was set to ship out soon on a Navy duty and fearing the war might break them up, he popped the question. Of course, Mom said “No, it’s too soon. Besides, Catholics and Protestants don’t get married.” Before the night was over, Dad’s persistence won out. 2 weeks later, they were husband and wife.

Years later and a few moves across the country, Mom & Dad finally landed back in San Diego. She was an outstanding “stay at home” Mom, managing the craziness of 4 wild kids (Terrie, Eppie, Mike and Greg). When Dad left for work in the mornings, she would shower and put her hair up in rollers. She would wear a scarf around those rollers all day, even to Safeway to grocery shop much to the chagrin of her kids. She would use her beautiful voice to sing musical soundtracks, Camelot, Stop the World, all while dusting the house and busting into an occasional Samba. Every day, precisely at 3:00PM, she would put on her makeup, brush out her hair, apply lipstick and meet Dad at the door in a nice outfit and an occasional cocktail. Dad actually thought she looked like that all day!!

This was our Mom. Happy, loving, and so very proud of her husband and four kids. She treated us all like we were the only thing that mattered in her life – I believe we were. And we all grew up better for it. The last 3 years were tough on Mom without her soul partner by her side. She covered the house with his pictures and when no one was watching, she would smile and speak gently to him out loud as if he knelt at her feet. Those touching and honest moments gave us all comfort when she left us, knowing she was now right back where she belonged…probably in the front seat of their friend’s car.

We all loved Mom so very much and she will be forever missed. With that, I leave you with this:

In Memory of a life so beautifully lived...a heart so deeply loved"

Mary Lou is survived by daughters Terrie and Eppie, son Greg, son-in-laws Joe & Albert, daughter-in-law Kristi, granddaughters Karrie (husband Louis), Makenna, Maddie, grandsons Eric (wife Laura), Alex, and Kellen. Great kids John, Riley, Colin, Haylie, Addie and Tom.