My ability to speak and comprehend Vietnamese is extremely limited. Much of what Me said was lost in translation, but with what I can understand, I knew she was funny, unapologetically honest, and was not afraid to speak her mind. However sharp her words may be, I knew her honesty was out of love. 

As time went on, my life changed, and my visitations became few and far between. Here are some things I remember about her….
I remember how proud she was of her handwriting. Her handwritten letters are like works of art. I remember how much work she put into making broth for bun bo hue. She would literally squeeze it through a cheesecloth to get all the impurities out. I remember being impressed by her memory of every piece of jewelry she had gifted others. She would always ask me why I wasn’t wearing the pearl necklace she given me so many years ago, and then scold me for not wearing it. She put a lot of effort into choosing the right pieces for the right people. What all these memories tell me about her was that she loved us dearly, and that she showed her love through her actions. Me, I’m sorry I did not get to see you one more time before leaving. I wish I could take in your last warm embrace filled with heavy perfume and a cheeky Vietnamese kiss. Thank you for leaving your precious jewelry as a reminder of your legacy.

I am so sorry for your loss.  Our parent's generation is getting smaller and smaller every day.  I have known your mother for a long time,  when I was very little and our fathers used to be best of friends.  Bac Kien gai used to come over to our home in Da Nang, Vietnam to visit my parents and I still carry many of the memories of her    Please be strong at this time, she had a long and great life, always surrounded by her children.   RIP Bac Kien gai.

Our deepest condolences to Khiem & Ha and family.  May Bac Gai rest in peace with Bac Trai,  and may you always cherish these beautiful memories of her.  
Quan & Pauline

The photographs in this heartwarming tribute are very touching to see. Each image documents one of many loving moments in a growing family. The love you give to your mother, grandmother, and great-grandmother are testament to the eternal nature of that which she will always give you. 

I cannot imagine what you must be going through now, nor can I imagine what your family endured fifty years ago.
But, I do know the people in this family that I have had the pleasure of meeting and getting to know are some of the most kind, caring, considerate, and humble people I have ever met in my life. And, I know these admirable traits are those she has given you. 

I would like to offer my deepest condolences to each of you, and my prayers along with yours for the incredibly strong, noble, elegant, and sincerely genuinely wonderful person she is.
The souls is eternal, and so too is true love. 
They are always with you, and you will all meet again and again and again. 
God Bless Each and Everyone One Of You. 

darwin

Dear Dr. Khiêm and family,

I was truly sorry to hear of your beloved mother’s passing. Please accept my sincere condolences.
Though I never met her, I feel deep admiration for her after learning about the life she led. To raise eight children on her own and to see each of them, as well as her grandchildren, grow into such accomplished and kind people is a legacy of strength, love, and quiet heroism. It was also deeply touching to see the way you speak about her, and how gently you hold on to her memory. That kind of love says so much about the person she was, and the impact she continues to have.
Wishing you and your family peace, comfort, and moments of joy in remembering her remarkable life.

With heartfelt sympathy,
Hue Hong.

When Kristen and Ally were toddlers, I used to visit Khiem and Ha, and sometimes I would get there early to find Bac baby-sitting.  During these visits, I got to know Khiem's mom well.  I enjoyed talking to her because she sounded just like my grandma who was also from Hue, and who I had not seen since 1972.  Bac and I would often have conversations about her days in Vietnam.   

One day she looked at me and said that I needed to wear some jewelries.  She said a ring would be most fitting.   I joked with her and told her if she would help me find one just right for me.  Months later, she brought me a sapphire ring and told me that she had thought carefully, and she had chosen it for me because it was very unique...just right for me.  I agreed.   Sadly thereafter, the ring was stolen from me.  I never had the heart to tell her that I lost the ring.  Whenever I saw her, I would keep my hand conveniently out-of-sight.  It always felt just like the time I lost my grandmother's charm when it was given to me.  These are the kind of feelings that I reserve only for those who I respect. 

Though I've kept this little secret hidden from her all these years, she now knows what I did.  BUT lucky for me, she also knows how I feel about her.

Hi Khiem.  We just heard about the passing of your mom from Khoa.  Our deepest condolences.   It’s a blessing to hear that she passed away peacefully.  May god bless her and your family.  
Tuan & Trang.

Luôn nhớ về bác như một người mẹ .
Bác luôn vui cười, những kỷ niệm vui về bác khi bác cho xem những món trang sức đẹp và những mẫu chuyện về khoảng thời gian lúc còn ở Việt Nam.

Growing up, I thought it was unique that I called you Mệ , even though most of my other Vietnamese friends used Bà Nội for their grandmas. You were a strong woman from Hue and you had us do things your way which I loved. The more I learned about your history the more I could see how your fiery spirit has stayed with you. There is so much to admire and I know your story will stay alive in our hearts.

Growing up, I thought you were cool for letting me sneak extra candy from the pantry when you were watching me. We would make slight eye contact but you would look away with a knowing glance. The days you spent in our home were a treat. You would indulge me with freshly squeezed lemonade or orange juice. I remember your grin as you'd give me a bowl of cháo and pour a little extra nước mắm as a topping. It made me feel special. 

Growing up, I thought you were amazing for making dishes so delicious that restaurants could not compare. You would make an extra batch of bánh bột lọc to freeze when you had to leave our home because you knew how much Kristin and I loved it. I recently tried to make bánh bột lọc on my own and failed horrendously. My fingers were sticky with a dough that did not look remotely similar to the soft malleable one I recall you would knead. As I looked down at my messy bowl I thought about all the knowledge you had to prevent this and also all the effort you put in every time you made it for us.

I guess some might consider me grown up now but my fondness of your presence has not changed. In my mind you will forever make the best bánh bột lọt, you will forever be the one who spoils me best and you will forever be my fiery grandma, Mệ .  It is sad to think you are gone but I know you are resting in a better place. I love you.

Me, it feels so strange to know that you're not with us anymore. You were larger than life to me and I've never known anyone who I could compare to you and I am sure that I never will. I was so proud to be your grandson and I loved bragging about you to anyone who would listen. I'd tell them about your life, so filled with color, how beautiful you were, how strong you were - to have you as my grandma made me feel so special and I wanted people to know who you were. The dignity you carried yourself with left my in awe and I always hoped that whatever was inside of you was inside of me too. I pray that you knew how much I loved and admired you. I loved to be around you and I don't think anyone has ever known how healing it was for me to just be in your company. Every time we saw each other I'd give you a hug, smell your floral perfume,  and you'd quietly say "chào con" and give me a kiss which always made me happy. I'll always be grateful that Vivian and I got to live with you when we were young and that we got to share that time together. Even as an adult you made me feel like your young grandson with how you would  send my mom home with Bún Riêu because you somehow knew that I loved it. I miss you, I miss seeing you smile, I miss hearing you laugh, I miss hearing you talk, but I know that you are with Bac Anh and grandpa and are happier. I will always love you, honor you, and make sure that your memory will live on. Thank you for everything, Me!

Dear chị Thảo, chị Hạnh, Nhẩn, Hương, Khiêm, Hiền, Dậu 

We were so sad to hear about your mother.
Our thoughts and prayers are with you and your family during this difficult time.

Our families are long-time close friends. Moreover, the misfortune of losing some of our members during their escape from Vietnam make us feel bonded to you.

We will never forget your mom's kindness towards us. 

As you asked, we have not told our mother about your mother's death.
But we are sure that she  joins  us to share your sorrow for this immense loss.

 Hương et Hiệp 
Famille Nguyễn văn Tòng

Dear Khiem, Ha, and Family,

We've had the pleasure of meeting bác at all of the celebrations at your home. And we were lucky to have enjoyed bác's Huế dishes too! She truly was a testament to the strength, love, and care of the Vietnamese women, mothers, and grandmothers. Our prayers and most sincere condolences to your family. May bác continue to watch over you from heaven. 

Hugs,
Roman & Linh

Me, I’ll always remember when you stayed over at our house in OC and cooked the entire day, making my favorite banh bot lot or banh canh. You would sit at the top of the stairs by your room, reading a newspaper or looking at jewelry, and I would come sit beside you. You would pull me into a hug, and every time, you’d inhale deeply, like you were trying to take in my whole being. You’d always tease me about my big forehead. You’d tell the same story over and over again - that whenever you gave me a bath as a toddler, water would roll down my forehead but never get into my eyes. You laughed every single time. You haven’t stayed over in a long time, but the room by the stairs will always be yours. I love you Me. You’ll forever me in my heart.

Xin chia buồn cùng gia đình. Mong linh hồn của bác mau siêu thoát nơi miền cực lạc. 

Thành kính phân ưu. 

Johnathan & Ha

Mạ, my kind and loving mother-in-law,
Thank you for welcoming me into your heart like one of your own daughters. I also will always be grateful for the way you adored Kristin and Ally. You never hesitated to spend two or three full days making bánh bột lọc, just to see the smiles on their faces. That was your love language—quiet, generous, and full of care.

Your Bún bò Huế was unforgettable. I still remember you saying you only made it for people you truly liked—so if someone had a chance to taste it, they were lucky, even if they didn’t know it at the time. That dish was more than food; it was your way of saying, “I care about you.”

We’ll miss you every single day, and your love will live on in our hearts and memories forever. ❤️

Words cannot express the sorrow we both feel  for you and your family in the loss of your dear mother. She was truly a beacon of light and love in your family.  We know how much she meant to all of you, and  can only imagine the void her passing has left in all of your heart. Please remember that we are here to support you in any way you need. Her beautiful spirit will live on in the cherished memories and love she shared with us all.
With all our love and deepest condolences 
Estelle and Khoa

Our sincere condolences for your mom, Khiêm.

I always called her mama or Mae, even though i know i never could pronounce it correctly. Maybe five feet tall but a force to be reckoned with. She always made me feel welcomed into the sprawling family and showed me love. I will always love her for that (and the best Bún Bò Huế on the planet). I remember taking photos of her and she would look to see if i got the jewelry in a good light. My deepest condolences to the Nguyen family and to all that loved this remarkable woman.

To our dear guests and family members,
We would like to sincerely apologize for the many photos that were accidentally uploaded to our mom obituary. While the upload was unintentional, these are her personal photos—each one precious and deeply meaningful to her. We appreciate your understanding and thank you for your love and support during this time.

Dear Nguyen Family, 
We are deeply saddened by your loss and extend our heartfelt condolences. Our thoughts and prayers are with you and your family during this difficult time. We cherish the memories we shared—those joyful times traveling together and celebrating holidays, filled with laughter and love. Those moments will forever hold a special place in our hearts. May you find comfort and strength in the love and support surrounding you.

With all our love and prayers,
Han and Hieu Nguyen

I wish to express my deepest regret and condolence to Thao Khiem Nhan Hanh 
Huong Hien anh Dau.
May your mother's rest in peace.
Chi My Dung & anh Trung

To Bac Kien
Will never forget you ...

Khiêm and Hà,
We send our sincere condolences to you and your family.  What an amazing person your mom was — after losing her husband and oldest son  who perished on their voyage out of Vietnam to find freedom, she came to the US with her remaining 7 children and single handedly raised them into successful, upstanding people. What an accomplishment!  May your mom rest in peace, knowing that her legacy lives on strong in your tightly-knit, loving family.
Lê Nguyên Lộc & Nguyễn Ngọc Dung

Bac Kien was an amazing woman. I’ll always hold close the memories of her incredible Central Vietnamese cooking—those bowls of bun bo hue and plates of banh beo that brought us together, filled with her love and flair. Her kitchen was a place of joy, and her food was a hug in every bite.

She also had this spark when it came to jewelry, didn’t she? Crafting, wearing, and sharing her passion for pearls and gold, she taught us to see beauty in the details. I’ll never forget her enthusiasm and the way her eyes lit up showing off a new piece. But above all, her love for her grandchildren, Kristin and Ally, was her true masterpiece. She poured her heart into every moment with them—laughing, storytelling, and making them feel so cherished. Those memories will shine bright for them always.

Bac Kien was a gift to us, and though we feel her loss deeply, her love lives on in every recipe we share, every piece of jewelry we admire, and every hug we give. Let’s hold her close in our hearts and keep her spirit alive in the stories we tell.

Mama and Hien out on a Sunday brunch. After attending Mass.

Anh Khiêm,
I am deeply sorry to hear about your mother's passing. Please accept my most sincere condolences to you and your family. From what I’ve read and seen about your mother, it's clear she was a truly remarkable woman who devoted much of her life to her husband, children, and family. May God welcome her into heaven with open arms.

Khiêm Tân

These are 2 amazing mothers! Our mother and Bac Dong courageously immigrated to the United States as single mothers. Bac Dong with her son and daughter. Our mother with 3 sons and 4 daughters. Those first few years these 2 astounding women leaned into one another for strength and support to raise their children by themselves. Both strong women went forth as their husbands remained behind to desperately defend South Vietnam.  The love and gratitude we feel for our mothers are boundless.

1975- One of our first photographs after immigrating to America right at the Fall of Saigon April of 1975.

After 50 years, our mother has finally reunited with our dearly departed brother, Anh. 💕

We call Cậu and Mợ Nghi. Both are like our mom’s older brother, sister.

I'm sorry for your loss, and hope that the loving and compassionate woman who has left this world finds eternal peace among the clouds in heaven. 

Thành kính gửi lòi chia buồn sâu sắc nhất đến Dr Chris and Family  . Hy vọng các Anh,  Chị tìm thấy sự an ủi ,động viên trong những ký ức tốt đẹp của gia đình. Hình ảnh của Bác sẽ luôn sống mãi trong trái tim của mọi người.

We all have tried our best as we know how to help Mama in her old age.   Next to Nhan is the lady named Hương.  She is a gem to Mama.  She has been mama’s confidant for 30 years.  Thank you Hương.  You have always been with us with your magic helping hands.  You are very generous to Mama and to all of us.

Four Grandchildren, Kristin, Sophia, Trevor, Grace.  Grandma was so proud of you guys.  An orthodontist, two are in PhD programs, and a tax accountant.

Bác Nguyễn Văn Tòng.  Her late husband was Nha Sĩ Nguyễn Văn Tòng in Nha Trang.  We are two families so giving to each other throughout our lifetimes.  Mrs. Tòng lost two daughters and my mother lost her husband and her oldest child (then a college student) during the journey fleeing VN by boat.  The four traveled together.

Grace wanted to have a picture of her grandma with her grandpa.

Nhẩn taking mama out to San Diego Rose Gardens in June 2021.

Kristin and Ally came home from college visiting grandma in June 2021.

Two great-grandsons of Mama.  Now they are 6 and 4 years old.

Khiêm claimed that there was a lady looking so similar to mama.  What do you think?

Mama went to Uyên’s graduation.  Yay!! She was a proud grandma.

Tín and Mama in May 2017.  Thanks Tin for taking such good care of Mama for over a decade.  You are her rock!
Tín told me that he paused his life for mama.

Mama and Tin in 2017.  Thanks Tin from sister Thảo for taking such good care of mama for over a decade.  You told me that you paused your life for Mama.

Grandma went to Uyên’ graduation from Western University.  - Yeah!!! Grandma was a proud grandma.

Ally came home from college visiting grandma.

Visit with Father Xuân.  This is one of the final visits with the priest.  Thank you so much Father Xuân.

You are a pretty girl Mama.  Just love you so!

Mama and her best friend, Cô Hoa Vương,  together during time Mama loved going to parties.

In the summer of 2023, Elizabeth enjoys her family union in El Cajon.

Father Xuan applying oil on her forehead and  arms during his visits.  For 1 year the Father  would visit Elizabeth monthly.

In her final stage of Elizabeth's life Father Xuan oftened visit her monthly for anoinment and eucharist.

In October 2024, waiting patiently for her son Nhan to pick her up for Sunday mass. She always wears a scraff to church.

OBITUARY

Mrs. Kiên Nguyễn

July 2, 1931 – April 13, 2025

El Camino Memorial - Sorrento Valley & Memorial Park

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