Barbara-Lee Pickard

July 1, 1937 - October 25, 2023

Barbie – of Peabody, MA, entered into rest on October 25, 2023 at the age of 86. Beloved wife of Bernie Pickard. Devoted mother of Gary Gilbert (Amy), Glen Gilbert (Tori), Lori Lanes (Mike), Mark Feldman (Bayla), Lewis Feldman. Cherished grandmother of Marina Gilbert, Matthew Gilbert, Rebecca Gilbert, Jennilee Feldman, Brett Feldman, Zachary, Alexander, and Sara Hodes, and Spencer Pickard. The loving sister of Steve Greenstein (Nancy). Dear daughter of the late David and Rae Greenstein

She grew up in Malden, MA and graduated from Malden High School, and raised her family in Malden and Peabody.

She was the most loving mother in the world and the nation’s top representative for Givenchy fragrances for many years.

A funeral service for Barbie will be held on October 29, 2023 at 11 AM at Stanetsky-Hymanson Memorial Chapel at 10 Vinnin St, Salem on the Swampscott border with interment at the Lebanon Tifereth Shalom Cemetery located on Route 128 Northbound, Peabody, MA.

Shiva will be held in the Garden room in the Braeburn building at 400 Brooksby Village Drive Peabody, on October 29, 2023 from 2-5 PM drop in front, park in rear) then on October 30-31 at the Pickard’s apartment from 7-9 PM with a Kaddish at 6 PM beforehand.

In lieu of flowers, expressions of sympathy may be made in his/her memory to the Michael J Fox Foundation for Parkinson’s Research, at http://www.michaeljfox.org

For more information or to register in the online guestbook, please visit www.stanetskyhymansonsalem.com.

Barbara-Lee's Eulogy, lovingly written by her son:

Good morning everyone and thank you for being here for my mom. Thank you Becca, Jenilee, and Brett for paying tribute to your nana. My mom was so strong, energetic and full of love, that it felt at times like she would last forever.

My mom was born Barbara-Lee Greenstein in 1937, the first child of David and Rae Greenstein. She grew up on Stearns Street in Malden during the Depression and WWII and her childhood was not easy at times. With such a heartbreaking childhood, I wonder sometimes how my mother learned to be so loving. I believe that love came from somewhere deep inside of her. That is one of the things that made her so remarkable. She was a miracle of love and generosity.

As a child herself, mom helped to raise her beloved baby brother Stevie. She loved him so much and protected him with all her heart. Later in life, as an adult, Uncle Steve became his sister’s most fierce protector. Mom and Steve loved each other so much.

Mom had a way of making everyone feel like they were her best friend. She treasured all of you. When she graduated high school, mom wanted to go to college to become a journalist or attorney, but the choices given to her in 1954 were work or marriage.

I sometimes wonder what she would have done with her life if she had been given greater opportunities. Her true calling was to be a diplomat.

With apologies to Tom Petty and a shout out to my sister Lori, in high school, Barbie met and fell in love with “a boy who looked like Elvis”. She got married at age 19. By the time she was only 23 years-old, she had two little boys, first Gary, and then me. In 1968, Lori was born and she finally had her beloved daughter. She and Lori formed a special bond that lasted until mom’s dying breath.

Our Mom knew instinctively how to be a great mother and teacher. She talked and read to us constantly, and she took us to the library all the time. She knew children needed affection and she was very generous with her love. One of my earliest memories is of sitting happily in her lap for hours while she sang me her favorite songs. She taught us to hug and to hold. We are a family of huggers thanks to mom. She knew how to give her children confidence.

When I was a little boy, I always knew someone believed in me. She told me on a regular basis that if I worked hard, I could accomplish anything in life. She said it so often, I began to believe it was true.

Our apartment on the 2nd floor at 48 Warren Ave was always full of kids playing Strat-o-matic baseball in the back bedroom or whiffle ball in the backyard. Mom loved having all of us around and always believed “the more the merrier.” We lived above the Murphy family and our two families formed a unique Irish and Jewish tribe that included 7 children in all. Those bonds that our moms Barbie and Helen built survive to this day, as Evelyn recently texted yesterday “Your Mom was such an influence in my life as a woman growing up in the 60’s and 70’s. She was intelligent, compassionate, and so knowledgeable about the world and the people around her. It was a joy to babysit for her children, mostly because Barbara would sit and have long conversations with me in a way that my very Irish Catholic Mother could not share with me. I drew strength from observing the way she lived her daily life. ” All of our friends loved her in this way because she always welcomed them into her home with open arms and treated them with love.

To be honest, Barbie’s first husband didn’t show her the love and respect she gave freely, and deserved in return. It took tremendous courage to get a divorce in 1975 with 3 kids and little prospects, but mom believed there was a better life for her and her children. Barbie always looked on the bright side of life and made the best of any situation, no matter what cards she was dealt. Years later, when I was asked if she ever regretted her first marriage, she replied “Not at all, because that marriage gave me the three best gifts I ever got… you children.” Of course, that was before Larry, Mark, and Lewis combined with our family... Hang in there guys! That part is coming up.

As a single mother with 3 children, she never gave up hope for a better life for us. She “woke up every morning with a smile on her face, and showed the world all the love in her heart”, even when her heart was breaking. And no matter what, she always made us feel loved and secure.

A second chance at love and marriage brought a new chapter and opportunities for mom. In 1978, Barbie married her longtime friend Larry Feldman and moved our blended famines to 10 Herold Road in Peabody. It was the first time she ever owned her own home and she would go on to live there for 42 years.

Larry gave mom love and security, and she provided all of us with a loving home, shopping, and cooking for a rambunctious family of 7. Our beloved black and white dog Zeus matched mom’s new kitchen and became their favorite child. Larry and Mom were true partners in life and my mom’s heart opened even wider to become a mother to Mark and Lewis. We became the Brady Bunch of West Peabody.

With mom’s sense of humor in mind, I changed the words a little, but I bet most of you remember the words to our family’s theme song:

-It’s the story of a lovely lady

Who was bringing up two boys and a girl

All of them had hair, just like their mother

The youngest one in curls…

-And it’s the story, of a man named Larry,

Who was busy with two boys of his own,

They were three men, living all together,

Yet they were all alone.

-Then one day when the lady met this fellow

And they knew it was much more than a hunch,

That this group would somehow form a family.

That’s the way we all became the Barbie Bunch.

Life was providing new opportunities for Barbie and she made the most of them. That year, Mom’s brother Stevie taught her to drive. She got her driver’s license when she was 40 years old. She got a car and never looked back. For perhaps the first time in her life, mom had freedom and security. And she loved the freedom of having a car. With boundless energy, we gave her the nickname The Roadrunner. The North Shore Mall should have reserved a parking space for her. If there was a Super Bowl for bargain shopping, mom would be Tom Brady.

Mom and Larry provided all of us with a real home and stability, and we wanted to thank them for their love. On their first anniversary, we hatched a plan to surprise them with a very special private dinner. Mark dressed as a chauffeur to drive the newlyweds to a secret destination while the rest of us kids turned the Peabody back yard into a very fancy restaurant. We decorated the yard with string lights and a candle lit dinner table for two. Gary donned a pencil thin mustache to be our Maître D’, and Lori and Lewis played waiters, while I ran the kitchen. Mark delivered them back to the house after 30 minutes and Gary escorted them to their table. Lori arrived to present them a copy of the evening’s menu. I popped the cork and poured them glasses of our finest champagne.

We all took turns serving them a six course lobster dinner under an oak tree in the backyard. They loved the surprise and smiled ear to ear at what we had become. The old photograph of our combined family around the dinner table that summer night was one of my mom’s favorites of all time.

The job of making a living and raising a family was serious business, but our mom knew how to make it fun. She loved to laugh and her smile was like a ray of sunlight. Mark could always crack our mom up with his sense of humor and antics. She was also very spontaneous, and she was always up for a caper with her family or friends. In the summer of 1981, I saw an article in the Boston Globe’s Travel Section headlined “You Could Fly Anywhere for $1.79.” Continental Airlines tempted people to come to the airport the next day dressed in the costume of anywhere in the world they wanted to go. Mom thought it was crazy, but she went along for the adventure. I wore a grass skirt and juggled coconuts, with mom, nana, Lori and Darryl in tow. An hour later, mom and I both won free tickets to Hawaii. The only catch was we had to depart Logan in 3 hours. Mom drove back to Peabody at 80 miles an hour so she could pack for this last minute trip with me - a trip of a lifetime for my mom who had never traveled so far from home. Mom was truly a people person and she attracted people to us with her genuine warmth and kindness. We had so much fun and she loved every minute of that trip.

Barbie also had a wonderful way of becoming everyone’s mother. My cousin Jeff, my best friend Scott, my cousin Darryl, and all of our spouses and partners, Bayla, Amy, Tori, Mike, and Aunt Nancy all thought of Barbie as their second mom. Her love for us all was boundless. She taught us all that to make a mistake is human, but to forgive is divine. She didn’t hold on to anger and she never held a grudge. Even when she was upset and had to discipline her children, we could always make her laugh. There was always love and a twinkle in her eye.

Mom’s marriage to Larry lasted for 18 years. When Larry was diagnosed with a rare form of cancer, my mom cared for him with love and dedication accompanying him to Boston on hundreds of trips for treatment. With mom’s encouragement, Gary, Lori, and I “adopted” Larry as our legal father at the County Courthouse on Father’s Day 1990. Actually, he adopted us. Mom was so proud of our combined family that day.

Larry finally succumbed to cancer in 1995 with Barbie by his side. After that, my mom insisted she was done with love and romance, and just wanted to be a grandmother. Fate, and a matchmaker named Beverly Finn, had other plans. In High School, Barbie went on a date with a nice guy named Bernie Pickard, but their fate was to love and marry other people. As it turns out, the love story of Barbie and Bernie would make an Oscar worthy Hollywood romance film.

Over 46 years after their first date, having lost their beloved spouses, Barbie and Bernie went on a second date…. and the rest is history. When my mom called me a couple of weeks later to tell me about this new/old love, she sounded like a schoolgirl, actually giggling with excitement. She told me on the phone, “I think he might be the one.”

When we met Bernie, we all understood why. He was like a big kid, chasing after Cable Cars in San Francisco or doing backflips in my brother Mark and Bayla’s pool. Bernie was exciting, vibrant, and swept mom off her feet. We could all tell by the way he looked at her, that he knew he hit the jackpot finding Barbie again after all those years. Bernie’s energy and love of life matched my mom’s perfectly. We hadn’t seen mom this happy in a long time.

When they met again, my mom was 62 years young. Mom and Bernie proved to all of us that love and romance are ageless, no matter what your age.

At a time when many people are slowing down in their lives, mom's life began again. Mom and Bernie were married in a raucous celebration, about one year later. We danced the night away. The bride’s joy was contagious, the celebration was outrageous. We all got drunk and lifted them in chairs dancing the Hora. We all felt their love inside our hearts. Mom and Bernie proceeded to travel the world together to Greece, and Israel, and Aruba, and beyond. Their kids had become adults and they could focus time and love on each other. They had the best of times. It was a young love until the very end. Barbie went back to work and later became the country’s top selling Givenchy perfume representative. She loved being in the mix, flying to New York, and being so good at her new role.

My mom absolutely loved being a grandmother to Jennilee and Brett, Marina, and Matthew, Becca, Zachary, Alexander, Sara, and Spencer. She had such a natural touch with babies and children. Having children in her life again brought Barbie so much joy. Her love and kindness has become part of her grandchildren as they have become adults. She was so proud of you all and she “loved you to the moon and back.”

With a nod to my big brother, Abraham Lincoln once wrote “All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.” Mom gave Gary the gift of empathy, kindness, and conciliation, and now he is the peacemaker of the family. Gary’s friend Matt wrote to him this week: “To me, that’s your mom’s legacy. The loving example she provided as a parent helped so many young people find confidence, love, intelligence, and compassion –even when times were bad. Those are things that get passed on from generation to generation and grow exponentially. Your mom was the matriarch of a family tree that went far beyond biology, and her impact, direct and indirect, is palpable in so many of us.” Mom is the glue that holds us all together.

13 years ago, mom was diagnosed with Parkinson’s. At first, the disease didn’t seem to affect her. She kept acting like her one-of-a-kind energetic life-loving self. She hid her pain and kept a smile on her face. Her home health aide told me last week “Barbie was the strongest person she ever met.” Bernie was by her side, taking care of her the whole time. They were both so courageous. Bernie, on behalf of all of us who loved her, I want to thank you for taking such good care of mom.

We all know it wasn’t easy. You are so strong. We can never fully express how grateful we are that you were in her life for her last 24 years.

We know the world seems like a crazy place right now. From Israel and Gaza, to Lewiston, Maine there is so much hate and madness that surrounds us. But no matter what was happening in the world at large, mom showed us all how to be kind and loving to others. To paraphrase… “Those of us who loved her and who take her to her rest today, pray that what she was to us, and what she wished for others, will someday come to pass for all the world.”

My mom knew that if we are asking for the world to be kind, we must first ask what we are doing to add more kindness to the world. If we are asking for the world to be more loving, we must first ask what we are doing to add more love to the world.

She made broken look beautiful, and strong look invincible. She walked with the weight of the universe on her shoulders and made it look like a pair of wings.

Thank you mom for your boundless love.

May your memory be a blessing to us all.