When asked what stories I remember about my mother, two immediately jump to mind. The first occurred when my mother bought a dress without telling my father about it first. Back then, women were expected to be housewives, which simply meant they stayed home and took care of the children and the house. As a single father, I know this is a time and a half job. Husbands were expected to take care of the finances, and this meant a budget and how much was spent on whatever. I don't know the latitude my mother had in regard to the budget, but I know she had not spoken to my father about getting the dress. But there was another dynamic: my father was psychic. He could see things that happened far away, especially if it pertained to family. We saw this many times; he knew when a family member passed away before ever receiving the phone call from Washington, D.C. (my father's hometown) telling him of a brother's  or sister's death. During the WWII he would put on shows in which my maternal grandmother would touch an object in St. Louis, and my father, who was in San Francisco, could tell my mother, who was on the phone talking with her mother, exactly what item my grandmother had touched or moved! 
Well on this particular day, my mother told us not to tell Dad about the dress. She then hid it in a clothes basket. We sat watching television in the living room waiting for Dad to come home from work. Really we wanted to see what was going to happen.  My sister and I knew Mom was not going to get away with this. The dress hid in the bottom of a clothes basket under other clothes in the closet in the living room. Soon the front door snapped opened and in popped Dad. The first words out of his mouth were, LaVerne, you can take the dress out of the clothes hamper. I know all about it. Mom remarked, Bernard, how did you know? He just looked at her and smiled. Mom looked at us and said, That man, I can never hide anything from him.  Well, that wasn't quite true, but that is the second story, but I will not tell that one. Lol.
Mom, we miss you. There isn't a day when Michelle does not think of you or say your name. You gave so much to your grand and great grandchildren. Thank you and God bless.

MY FAVORITE MEMORY OF GRANDMA


If memory serves me, we were just leaving K-mark. 


Okay, it was really K-mart (with a t') -- the one right next to Schnucks -- but I like how grandma used to say it.  Tom was in the back seat with me as grandma pulled out of the K-mart parking lot, turning left onto McKelvey. I didn't really see what happened, but suddenly, grandma slammed on the brakes. 


The look on her face was one of panic. Then relief. Then rage. The words came flying out like vomit from a sick child: 


ILL-MANNERED... DRAGON FACE!!


For a moment, Tom and I were silent. And then, we busted out laughing. Then tension in grandma's face released and she, too, started laughing. In fact, we laughed all the way home. It still cracks me up to think about it more than 30 years later.


It's one of the defining memories I have of my grandma, because it represents so many truths about her. 


She was driving Tom and me around. I can't tell you how many trips we made in grandma's back seat to the bowling alley, soccer games, baseball games, the shopping mall, you name it. She was a constant presense in our lives.


She was so protective of us. The instant rage that came over her was an instinct. Someone had put her precious grandchildren's safety at risk, and she was having none of it.


We were still childen, though, so she had the presense of mind to censor herself, on the spot. Instead of dropping a tirade of four-letter words on the offending driver, she invented what I believe to be one of the greatest phrases ever spoken.


Finally, she had the most amazing sense of humor. My grandma loved to laugh, even if it meant laughing at herself. I couldn't possibly count the number of times grandma said something that sent the rest of us into hysterics. She usually laughed the longest. Maybe that's the real secret to how she lived so long. I could write a book telling stories about little quips she made at restaurants, leaving us (and her grandchildren) in tears. Joyful, wonderful tears.


Somewhere right now, that ill-mannered dragon face is probably still behind the wheel. If I met him, I would shake his hand and say thank you, because  without even knowing it - he played a starring role in one of my favorite memories of grandma.

 
Hi Grandma!
 
Words spoken almost every home and away soccer game in high school, but not just by me.  Granny became such a fixture at our soccer games, even road games, that Pattonville's cheerleaders came to know her, and would yell Hi Grandma! each game as we made our way to the fields for warmups.  Typically, she had arrived before we did, and was already set up in her lawn chair, paperback romance novel in hand.  It was always nice to have her there.
 
* * * * *
 
Driving lessons
 
I have Granny to thank for teaching me to drive.  When I was 15 and counting down the days before I could get my driver's license, Granny would stop her car at the front of our subdivision, and then we'd get out and trade places so I could drive her car the rest of the way home.  I'm just glad that by then she had already traded in her powder blue boat, a huge Chrysler Newport, for a little brown Dodge Lancer.

Grandma GG

What can I say about grandma oh so much so many beautiful words to describe a beautiful lady. Yet words cannot accurately describe the woman I called grandma. However, there are two stories that I want to share that will hopefully demonstrate how much she meant to me and to my daughter.

Story One
I wouldn't be Keilani's mom without my grandma. It's not mentioned often, but I often think about it. You see, without my grandma, I would not have been Keilani's mom. I am unable to get pregnant  and my husband and I were adopting a child from overseas. I planned to travel to the very small island of Pohnpei, where my dad (grandma's son) lived. There, we planned to adopt a baby that was due to be born in about 5 months time. However, when Lynn (the biological mother) was 7  months pregnant, we learned that due to an unfortunate twist of circumstances, I had to fly to Pohnpei AND fly the birth mother right back to the U.S. to give birth. Knowing that Lynn could not fly when she was 9 months pregnant, I had to leave immediately. However, we had not budgeted for a second airlines ticket. After attempting to receive a short-term loan and every other option we could think about I called grandma. She said, Of course honey. I love you. Although I knew my grandmother was not rich, I did know she cashed in CDs for me to buy the second airline ticket. I may have paid my grandmother back in terms of dollars, but it would be impossible to pay her back for the love and joy I now experience as Keilani's mom.  

Story Two
Keilani calls my grandma G.G. Yep, just the two letters G and G. Why? Well, Keilani was very proud of having such a spunky great grandmother. It was very important for her to call her great grandma because that's who she was to Keilani. Yet at the same time, saying Great Grandma was a bit of a tongue twister. So Keilani decided to call her GG - short for Great Grandmother. Logically, saying Great Aunt Sue (GG's daughter) wasn't any easier so she thought out loud, What should I call Great Aunt Sue? And then she sounded out the acronym G A S oh wait GAS!! We laughed and laughed and laughed even Great Aunt Sue. But especially grandma, who encouraged her to call her GG, and to call Sue GAS. That was her GG funny and spunky. What I remember most about the story of why Keilani called my grandma GG is that the story resembles so many other stories about GG doing what she could to make someone else smile, especially her grandkids. As her body began to weaken and even sitting up became a chore, GG still laughed, and made others laugh. So when I think of my grandma GGI smile. First because she gave me the first story, and because the second story wouldn't even possible without the first.

What to say about my Mom.  I miss her terribly.  I will keep this fairly short, but I realize now that she is gone, even more than I realized when she was here just how strong of a woman she was.  How she did the things she did for as long as she did them simply amazes me.   


She was always there for me.  She was always there for my kids.  She even made all of their games as they grew up, even when Andy and I couldn't make them due to working, because she felt very strongly that someone should be there supporting them. The cheerleaders and other players even called her Grandma and appreciated her being there. 


As she got older, she still always dressed up every day, even when she wasn't going anywhere.  When she did go out, she was always complimented at just how good she looked and how people couldn't believe what her age was.  When I look at how lonely it now is without her here, it just breaks my heart.  I wish I could say so many things to her still.  


She loved all of her family very much.  She will always be missed and never forgotten.  She truly is a woman I will always remember for her strength.

Although,  I have only known your mom for a short time, I feel so blessed.  She has touched my heart and made me laugh, and cry.  My thoughts and prayers are with your family.
She is already missed.
Mary Renna (Receptionist at DG,)

OBITUARY

LaVerne M. Panholzer

January 19, 1918 – May 5, 2015

Alexander-White-Mullen Funeral Home and Mt Lebanon Cemetery

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