Grief in normal circumstances is hard enough. Grief during this pandemic is unbearable.
That said, for all the bad that this pandemic has brought us there was some good for us too. I would not have been able to spend these last few months colouring butterflies at the dining room table with my mom. We would not have gone through hundreds of pictures remembering special times. I would not have heard her recount the day of my birth. Although I would have given the world to have more days and nights with my mom, this pandemic gave us the gift of suspended time. Something we all too often waste or take for granted.
I read this passage somewhere a few months ago: “I never saw my mother walk on water but I saw her wait for the bus in the snow to pay rent. We define holy differently”. That was my mother. She was strong, she was resilient, and she worked so hard so I would want for nothing.
A woman filled with little ironies, Nanette loved to learn about other countries, the food, the sites, the people; yet she never travelled and shuddered at the thought of getting a passport. She was an introvert who loved to be surrounded by family and close friends. She was a quiet soul who loved to laugh.
If you were lucky enough to know Nanette, you will remember her hot pink lipstick, her beautifully manicured nails and of course you will remember her love of jewelry. She will forever be remembered as the lady with rings on every finger and her arms adorned with silver bracelets. She was a trinket collector, a lover of pretty little things.
In the end, the values she instilled in me are what guided me home to be close to her and to the rest of my family. One day you look around and realise that you have limited time with those you love and that nothing else matters.
This pandemic is horrible, but it has given me the gift of being able to care for my mother when she needed me most. The gift of being by her side ‘til the end – out of hospital, without masks and gloves and shields, the gift of touch. My mother held me for my first breath and I was blessed enough to hold her for her last.
Sadly, there can be no funeral at this time. However, a celebration of life will be held at a later date. In lieu of flowers, gifts can be made to the Ottawa Humane Society in her honour.
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