33 years ago the stars glittered above a Las Vegas hospital and a beautiful baby boy was born. How could we have known what a pivotal moment this would turn out to be in the lives of so many. I am so grateful every day that your soul was brave enough to come to this planet and love so selflessly, endure so much, and remain ever kind and devoted to the ones you loved. With every aching crack of my broken heart a scream echoes the same question over and over... Why. Why do angels come to Earth but can never stay. I know your heaven is so beautiful and you continue to do all the things you love. I told you so many times I will always be yours. I will look for you in the next life and love you again and again for a millennia. I miss you so helplessly. Please continue to walk along side all of us who love you so endlessly as we fight for Justice for you Johnny. I love you into eternity My Baby. Happy Heavenly Birthday My Love.

Pardon the way that I stare
There's nothing else to compare
The sight of you makes me weak
There are no words left to speak
So if you feel how I feel 
Please let me know that it's real
You're just too good to be true
Cant take my eyes off of you...

A year ago I had you. We walked hand in hand went to the museum and stopped at a pizzaria You loved the train so much and it made my heart soar to watch your smiling eyes soak everything in. You kept me from falling apart. We sat eating ice cream in the courtyard and you told me what an amazing day it was. How you wanted to go again and we were supposed to. Im so angry you were robbed of everything you deserved. I cannot grapple with this pretending like I dont have a crater in my chest. Please be with me and hold me. This ache in my chest wont go away without your love..I love you beyond comprehension Johnny Ramos


This Christmas has been such a solemn one without you baby. I held you in my arms this time last year. Now I can only pray all of us who love you so much can feel closer to you. I just want you home. I remember watching Home Alone with you and How the Grinch Stole Christmas, and so many classics you loved so much you'd watch them year round. Your lighthearted love for Christmas and all things pure, wholesome and whimsical is the only thing that has kept me still trying to embody the spirit.. Trying to without you.. I don't know what else to do but talk to you in my head all day long and hope in some way you feel me. I hope you feel my heartbeat against your cheek while we lie beside the fireplace, warming our cold toes against each others. You were so happy just to be held. You are such a loving and accepting soul. Because of you, I know Angels are very real. Thank you for being the best man I ever encountered. Thank you for believing me when I told you how much I loved you. I miss you baby. Merry Christmas, all I want is you. 


My sweet Baby. Im trying in vain not to be consumed with rage and sorrow. Today is our Anniversary, and I hope you know every atom, every molecule of my being is crying out for your touch. Every particle of my existence remembers holding you, kissing you, and telling you how grateful I am to know you.
Sometimes our friends would snicker and scoff at how affectionate we were to one another. We didn't care. I am so grateful every waking second that we were so over the top and sappy with our love. I never imagined in this lifetime I would feel genuine romance. I set that hope aside long ago. But then you fell into my lap...and outstretched this unfathomable truth; that we were meant to love one another for an eternity. It is a feeling all who love you know. What a blessed curse that we have all this love and beautiful memories of you... And cannot hold you physically. 
I remember, your eyes fixed ahead, you had been mustering up the courage to speak the words "So what are we?" I couldn't hide my surprise that you hadn't seen the obvious and I blurted out, "Johnny, I want to be yours." A hush fell over us as we realized we both wanted the same things. I hope you know how much I prayed for that moment. 
I read somewhere if a poet falls in love with you, you can never die. Although far from a poet,  I hope you hear my words and feel the love radiating from within me. It is a star so bright it sears my soul. I am missing you. You are missing from me. I know heaven is so much more beautiful because of you. I love you so much.

Today is your 1st heavenly birthday and you would have been 32 years young. I say young because I REFUSE to say old, as you was FAR from old. You had so much more life ahead of you. There was so much left for you to see, do, and achieve. You was robbed of all of that. I will never understand why either. 
Our son was robbed of so much too with your passing and it breaks my heart with each day that passes. As I look at him I can't help but to think of all you will miss. 
You will never get to see him make it through middle school, high school or college. You will never get to see him walk across that stage and make us proud as we know he is meant for great things. You will never get to see him grow into the amazing man and father he is meant to be and going to be. You won't ever get to meet or watch your grandchildren grow up like you should. Or tell them stories about when we was growing up. You left far too soon and it's just not fair. 
I will never be able to accept the fact that you won't ever gift us with your presence or love again. That we wont ever get to hear your voice, see your smile or enjoy your laughter again. 
I want to be selfish and tell you to watch over me but I just can't, as I know today your dad and son need you to watch over THEM the most. No father should watch their son leave this earth before them and no son should lose their father as young as ours did. My heart is filled with pain for them both and wish I could bring you back so they are no longer hurting. 
The picture is of you on your 17th birthday. Our first one as a couple. I got you a necklace and zippo lighter that year, which you kept over the years. You have no idea how happy that makes me. It lets me know you still had love for me. I will forever cherish our years and memories we made together till I'm with you again. 
 I miss our walks, our adventures and our talks. Happy birthday Johnny. I will love you always and forever. 
Love your turtle dove (from a poem you wrote me😊❤️)

Today is another day that I should be expressing my love to you in person instead of on a memorial page and because of that I am forever heart broken.
It's just not fair that I no longer have that opportunity to do so when I am still so young.  I love you and miss you Dad.  Happy heavenly birthday. Its your first one and I hope it's a great heavenly one. Please always watch over me and protect me from above. I will always need you and miss you. 
Love always 
Your lil man
Johnny Jr

Today many people are mourning for loved ones but there is a personal family I know that is mourning  for a loved one along with friends that greatly love this person. I wanted to honor his memory today by doing a balloon release. Each balloon represented  him: the star represented the fact that he was a star to his father along with the ladies he loved and his son, he was number one  with  family and friends, and he was special.  I knew this young man for a long period of time. I  always appreciated the help he gave me at my home.  Along with each releasing  of the different balloons there was a personal prayer, a scripture at Acts 24:15 and a song played by a recording of "He Will Call.".  My prayers 🙏🙏🙏 for the family he 💕 loved and all the different one he loved💕.  

32 years ago this earth was blessed with your life Baby. What we are to do in your absence eludes me. You were born with a thirst for knowledge and divine truth, you are a force of nature both in life and afterlife... You continue to inspire and heal as you always have. 
I will always celebrate your heavenly birthday, with your favorite meal and cheesecake like you always liked. I remember when you told me the puerto rican food I made tasted just like how your grandma used to make it. Feeling so honored, I'd make it often, like I will tonight. Forever in awe of what a beautiful being you are, sometimes in your melancholy times you'd make negative comments about yourself, I'd remind you that you get to wake up everyday and posses the gift of being Johnny Ramos.. And how many others would give it all to be you. I remember you gazing outside contemplating my words. You had this glint of light in your eyes and subtle smile like you realized the truth of those words. I hope I was able to gift you with that realization.
You loved the constellation you were born under and had me draw it often. The stars and the heavens destined you to be so pure, so gentle and sensitive. You would insist on holding hands while we slept, while I held you. Your affectionate and devoted nature was such a shock in an otherwise cold world. 
I would put on Frankie Valli's Cant Take My Eyes Off You moments before you'd enter the room, dramatically gesturing toward you and making you dance with me around the living room. These moments are treasures. I lived for your bashful surprise and gushing affections. Please stay with us today. I need you beside me. I love you and always will. I miss you with a heart that breaks with each beat. Have a beautiful heavenly birthday my love. I will always be yours. 

Yet another date I will never be able to forget for as long as I breathe. 15 years ago today I asked you to be mine. Of course you jokingly said no because you knew I was scared of you saying no and that was just who you were. I can remember we was standing on the side of your dad's house next to your bedroom window making out when I finally got the nerve to ask.  I can honestly say I knew before we even made it official that I loved you and wanted to spend my life with you.  I truly wish we both would have moved past our hurt and stubbornness and stayed the family we was always meant to be.  We talked about how we would grow old together and watch our kids and grandkids grow up.  I can't help but to hurt every time I think about how that will never happen. How you will never be able to meet your grandchildren when the time comes. You will never get to experience the joys of seeing our son walk across the stage as he graduates. How you will never get to see him get married. Or become the amazing father I know he will be one day. Life is truly not fair to rob us all of these life journeys we were meant to have. 
Not a day goes by that I don't miss you and think about all our time together. We was together almost 8 years. That's 8 years no one can ever take from me or our son. That's 8 year's of memories and love that will never fade away. What I would give to go back and to do it all over again. 
I miss our walks, talks, adventures and the good days where we loved each other whole heartedly. I miss you writing me love letters and poems to express the love you had for me. I miss your arms around me telling me how much I mean to you. I miss even the days we didn't get along. At least I still had you then. 
Happy anniversary my love.  I will always love and miss you. 
Please continue to come to my dreams to let me know you love me and are with me. I will cherish them forever. If you could visit our lil man in his dreams too. I think it would do him some good if you did.

These sleepless nights my mind journeys through the moments of peace when everything was still so beautiful. I'd wake up randomly in the middle of the night, you would have all the cartoons from our childhood playing in the background, creating this nostalgic ambiance we loved so much. We were stoked to chat til the sun rose.. The soundtrack of your soft voice plays on repeat in my mind every waking moment and every dreaming hour. Even in our disagreements you remained patient, open minded, and accountable. You would work toward compromise and be empathetic. It was so bewildering to me to find someone like you. I found this in our old messages on Mother's Day. I broke down knowing it was you making sure I felt your love.
 I asked you the night before God took you. I asked if you thought we kept meeting in different lives and falling in love. You giggled and said probably. The memory haunts me. Is this why we fell so hard for each other so fast? Did our souls recognize each other as the love we've known since the dawn of consciousness? This life is too short to love you in one. I promise to look for you in the next.

Our little man started middle school today. I still can't wrap my head around it or the fact that he is almost a teenager. It seems like yesterday he was just a baby sleeping in my arms in bed with you. 
Anytime I look at him I will forever be reminded of you. Although I cherish that, it also breaks my heart. As I have so much I wanna say and will never have the chance to. I just wish you was still here to get to see him grow into the good man I know he will be. To get to know his goofy, shy but amazing personality. 
He has always needed you and still does. That's why I ask you to always watch over our baby boy. Be his guardian angel and always protect him please. 
We will always love and miss you. 

This day, July 26th, has always been such a hard and emotional day for me. Now with you gone it makes it even harder. 
Today 15 years ago is when I moved to Florida and is also the day I first laid eyes on you. I still can remember what you was wearing. Black dickies shorts with a tan shirt and a pink belt. With your long hair, big brown mesmerizing eyes and shy look. I will NEVER be able to forget that day. It holds so much more meaning to me now and I will forever cherish it and that look on your face when you seen me. I truly feel and believe we both knew then that we was meant for each other. I know that if we both knew then what we know now that we both would have did things differently. Treated each other better and cherished our time together more than we did. 
I know I made mistakes in our relationship too and for that I want you to know I'm sorry. I'd give anything to go back and to try to make it work. I truly do miss you. Anytime I look at our little man, I see you. I think of you and long for your touch, to hear your voice and see your smile.  It takes my breath away and breaks my heart over and over again thinking about you. I sit here and reminisce on not only our good times but bad times too. I want you to know I forgive you for all the pain and heartache you caused and can only hope and pray you can forgive me too. 
I prayed for you over the years and still do. I pray that you are in a better place watching over our little man. I know when it's my time I will see that smile again. Until then please watch over our lil man and guide him. We both miss and love you more than anyone could believe or know. 

In my heart, we are here. Together in your loving embrace. I told you many times I am yours and will always be yours. I feel your hands through my hair, the memory of your kiss reverberates through my skin... I feel you tug the blankets beside me... Maybe I've lost touch with reality, but I cannot exist without you. All I can do is draw you, sing to you, play for you. 
How can I trudge through each day knowing what heaven took from this world. The facilitator of our healing, The hero, The muse; abused by the undeserving, taken for granted and abandoned by the entitled... This world never once deserved you--and I can't forgive the way it broke your heart long before I ever cast eyes on you. 
You are a treasure, a rarity, a noble, loyal man who wanted simple things. You wanted peace, balance love and loyalty. It astounded me when you told me of how you were mistreated in previous relationships... And your reactions to how I was mistreated as well left us in a stunned silence. In that moment after is when I realized you were meant for me, and I was meant for you. 
I love you endlessly.
Your Baby 

So many miss you you today. There are many people you 💕💕💕 you.  Again, I go back to the waves that are countless just has those who love, care and miss you.

It pain's me to have to write this instead of telling you in person, Happy Fathers Day. 
I love and miss you and hope you always hold my hand  while guiding me from above, as I go through this life without you.  
Love always, 
Your lil man
Johnny Jr. 

There is only peace in the moments I imagine being enveloped in your embrace. I was always unsuccessfully trying to keep a lid on my fascination and adoration of you. 
Each breath without you spears a blade into my heart. You are an eternal spark of inspiration in this world Baby. 
I told you every day you were the best thing that ever happened to me, that I'd be yours forever. I will love you until the end of time Johnny. 

Today is mother's day and I wouldn't be a mother to the most amazing son ever if it wasn't for you. For that thank you. If it wasn't for our lil man I don't know where I'd be today. He was the best gift you ever gave me. Thank you so very much for that. 
Also thank you for visiting me in my dreams last night and telling me happy mother's day. It truly means a lot and felt good to see and touch you. 
Our lil man and I miss and love you. Hope you are with your mom celebrating today with her. 

There are no words for what you've given me. There are no earthly words to describe the purity of the love you are. Who was I to ever love you? Every second, every moment that transpires I can only feel you, look for you. Talk to you. Long to hold you.  We spent those last few days in each other's arms, saying how happy we were to finally find the other. I don't know how to live without you. All the memories we were meant to make, all the goals and dreams you were meant to experience--the cruelty of this world to its kindest creatures angers and agonizes me. What am I to do with this lifetime of love within me that belongs to you? 

Waves are always there like the love from your family. Thank you for sharing some years with myself. 

Me and our son miss and love you so much. Please always watch over him. 

I'll always love you little bro. Things will never be the same without  you.
I miss you bro


OBITUARY

John G. Ramos

September 11, 1989 – February 25, 2021

Deltona Memorial Funeral Home & Gardens

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