Mary Esther Pasternak

She loved spending time with her two granddaughters, seeing sights around the Bay Area. She loved to pet dogs and feed them treats from a bag always kept at hand. She loved to dress smartly, often in purple, and always with jewelry. She loved to read the news and complain about a certain politician. She loved her vodka tonic, with two cherries please.

She loved to laugh and reminisce. And give hugs.

Mary died on Feb. 5, her 97th birthday, at her adopted home in Oakland. She went peacefully with her granddaughters at her bedside.

Born in Davenport, Iowa, in 1923, Mary was the youngest of 12 children. Her mother, Emelia Mae Fansin, was a native of Scott, Iowa, born in 1882. Her father, Paul Heinrich Oldsen, was born in 1878 in Germany. Mary grew up during the Depression with her seven sisters and four brothers, and knew hardship: She spent two years as a child in a tuberculosis ward.

In 1942, Mary married Irwin Francis Pasternak of Chicago. He had been working in Davenport, and happened to stroll past while Mary was talking to a friend. He asked her out, and on their first date they went to a concert.

Irwin was serving overseas during World War II when their only child, a daughter named Luanna Rae, was born in 1943. After the war, the family lived in Chicago, then moved to Campbell, California, to be closer to Irwin’s mother. Mary long remembered the endless acres of orchards in her neighborhood that have since disappeared.

Mary worked as the principal’s secretary at Edison and Broadway high schools in the San Jose Unified School District until she retired in 1983. She and Irwin were active in St. Lucy’s Catholic Parish. Mary served in leadership roles at the Young Ladies Institute.

She also took modeling classes and in her later years enjoyed sewing. The sewing came in handy when Luanna opened a ballet studio, Placer Ballet Theatre, in Auburn, California. Mary made most of the costumes for ballets including “The Nutcracker.”

Mary appreciated nice cars and long remembered her annual driving trips with Irwin around the U.S. and Canada. She visited almost every state, including Hawaii, but not Alaska, which she had hoped to see while Irwin was alive.

Luanna’s unexpected death in 1998 was followed by Irwin’s in 2002. Mary stayed in their Campbell home until 2009 when she was injured in a fall. Her granddaughters insisted she needed more care and helped her move closer to them, first to San Leandro, then in 2015 to Oakland.

Mary never let her sense of style fade during her later years. A fashion plate for as long as her granddaughters can remember, she went weekly to the beauty parlor to get her hair done. In the last decade of her life, she took to pinning a flower in her white hair.

Mary enjoyed going to musicals and watching ballets. She loved flowers, anything purple and everything sweet, especially See’s Candies (milk chocolates only) and ice cream. She disliked potatoes unless they were McDonald’s French fries. And it is fair to say, she loathed the nickname “Mare.”

She discovered the Kindle reader in recent years and was a fan of the Jack Reacher novels. And she never lost the habit of spending hours reading the newspaper, especially the political coverage, and shaking her head. She wanted Nancy Pelosi to run for president.

In her last years, she enjoyed exploring Oakland with either of her granddaughters pushing the wheelchair. Just a week before her death, she was rolling down Piedmont Avenue and petting every dog in sight.

She was preceded in death by her husband of 59 years, Irwin; her daughter Luanna; and all brothers and sisters. She is survived by her granddaughters, Stacey Wells of Oakland and her husband Dan Reichl; and Heidi Wells of Playa del Rey, California, and her husband Gregory Baumann. Other survivors include nieces and nephews scattered across the U.S., including Donna Hanzlicek of Colorado, and Kathryn Wright, Raymond Oldsen and Phillip Oldsen, all of Missouri, as well as two great-granddogs.

She is missed.