Dr. Terence C. D’Souza was a man who lived multiple lives and touched a multitude more. He was rarely prone to hyperbole as almost all his seemingly tall tales were, in fact, true stories. He lived like a folk hero who inspired greatness, instilled hope, and gave reason to celebrate a better tomorrow built on the friendships you create.
He was born in India and spent much of his time between Goa, where he fell in love with the tranquil beaches and endless night sky, and Bombay, where he reveled in the noise of the city and chased the nights till sunrise. This dichotomy would become part of his personality; at once calm and peaceful, content with a quiet moment, this was measured in equal by long and loud nights surrounded by friends, balanced with a devotion to his study of medicine.
Terence earned his medical degree from the Armed Forces Medical College of India. Shortly after, he met the love of his life, Bernadette Gomes, a strong-willed, confident woman who helped raise her seven siblings after her father’s untimely passing. Terence listened intently as she spoke of her dreams and ambitions — fulfilling them became a lifelong mission for them both.
His singular goal of finding the beautiful opportunities he only read about in America brought him to New York, six dollars in hand. He worked the newsstands of subways underneath a city that resonated with his spirit whilst awaiting his residency assignment as a doctor. Soon New Orleans came calling, the slow humid city that never slept reminded him of the best of both his homes in India. He interned at Charity Hospital and completed residencies in Psychiatry at LSU Medical Center and in Neurology at Tulane University. Never once, however, did he forget Bernadette. It was here that tragedy first struck.
After contracting a rare illness, Terence fell into a coma that many perceived irrecoverable. Only a meticulously kept journal of his symptoms and self-diagnosis discovered by his roommate provided a path to revival. From out of this coma, Terence came back with renewed purpose, perhaps touching the light and turning away, knowing that he had much more to do. He wasted little time and returned to Bernadette, who was now working at a hospital in Tehran, Iran. They married, surrounded by a small group of close friends. Together, they returned to New Orleans where they finally began their lives as husband and wife.
Shortly after her arrival and a Rolling Stones concert later, their son, Lloyd, was born. Though long hours in residency kept him at work, he found time at night to place his son in front of a formidable stereo system to blast the records he loved. Terence joined the Department of Neurology at Tulane Medical School and was the Chief Resident. Because of his excellence in teaching, the medical students bestowed on him the Owl Club Award for Teaching.
Post residency, and board certified in Neurology and Psychiatry, he started a private practice with Dr. Michael Wilensky. This was followed by the birth of his daughters, Vanessa and then Christine. Both of them became diamonds in his eyes - he found it easier to walk with them wrapped around each leg than without. He would brush their hair at length as if they were his princesses and treat their needs as a reason for being. Beyond his own family, Terence worked to secure passage to America for his siblings Trevor, Tressie and Trudy, as well as the siblings of his wife. A good life, to him, meant being surrounded by family and their mutual successes. Through this, he kept focus on his professional pursuits and was very involved with the New Orleans Neurological Society, serving as its President.
Terence never forgot his promise to help Bernadette pursue her own ambitions, and he encouraged her to attend law school after their youngest child entered kindergarten. Long work hours at night and loving devotion in the evening resulted in another encounter with the light, reminding him he dodged it once before. He would fight through it, with the care of his wife, and would find renewed purpose once again as she continued to grow and achieve so much.
She would become the rock that he unexpectedly needed through the passing of both his mentor of a father and his eternally loving mother. In turn, Terence would support Bernadette through her law career and urged her to run for office. And when she became a Judge he knew the work had only begun for her and offered her unending support.
By this point his children had found their way through college and into successful careers, inspired by the strength, intelligence, and drive of their parents. Terence, now content that his family was on the right path, moved from the grind of private practice to join Ochsner Clinic Foundation as a Sr. Neurologist. He was exceptionally knowledgeable in both his fields (Neurology and Psychiatry) and was acknowledged as such by being named New Orleans Magazine’s Top Doctors & Castle Connolly’s Regional Top Doctors. But his greatest accomplishment was the joy of his wife, children and grandchildren. His reward was enjoying time with family and friends.
While he would still regale everyone with tales of his road races in the Tanzanian bush before he arrived to America, of his long nights in New York, of his ability to not sleep and still run a marathon the next day with shoes that were falling apart, his favorite story was the one playing out right in front of him, watching his family in New Orleans grow.
Vanessa married Michael DePetrillo and had two boys of their own, Aidan and Dylan, in New Orleans. Christine married David Gelb, and they are now expecting their first child in Los Angeles. His son created a life in Los Angeles and now finds himself building on that success in a city that Terence was continually drawn to - New York. Terence experienced wonderful moments with his family, like dancing with both daughters on their wedding nights in New Orleans, teaching his grandsons, through chess, that most problems can be solved in four moves or less, spending early mornings on the waters of Louisiana fishing with his son and traveling the world with his wife. His sons-in-law became his best friends. His best friends in life became his brothers.
Perhaps most impactful, he became an adored grandfather to Aidan and Dylan, affectionately known as “Papa.” He treasured long weekends relaxing in his garden, an oasis where he would patiently teach his grandchildren and work with them on planting, pruning and all of his other green thumb successes. He constantly made them laugh with his silly antics, amused with his magic tricks, and created everlasting memories with them, whether at the Dome for Saints game or attending a school performance. He was and will always be a hero in their eyes.
In the end, New Orleans had become his true home. From Sunday Brunches at Commander’s Palace, his joy at Jazz Fest and riding in parades at Mardi Gras, Terence embraced life in a city that was like no other place on the wide Earth that he traveled. As he turned his eye to his own personal passions he continued to pursue his love of cinema, stamp collecting, exploring new computer technologies, creating piano sonatas from empty staffs and having his paintings featured at a showing at the New Orleans Museum of Art. For the people around him he was a calming influence. His patients loved him dearly and considered him a friend. His friends sought his counsel in times of need where he would provide a temperance few could offer as if they were family. His family saw him as a smile, an infectious laugh, or a much needed embrace when facing any adversity.
And in this moment after avoiding the light so long, it found him in a place he found the most peace. A yearly trip to Puerto Vallarta, Mexico, a place he loved as it reminded him of the beaches in Goa, ended in a third visit from the light. He surrendered to heaven’s warm embrace, surrounded by family.
His passing was not as he intended or hoped. The flame of his life that had lit up many lives around him, burned so brightly and quickly. He will be dearly missed. But in the minds of so many people, the story of Terence’s life challenged themselves to be better, to do more, to give more, and to love more. And for that reason he will live forever.
Terence C. D’Souza, M.D. passed away on July 1, 2019 in Puerto Vallarta, Mexico.
Terence is survived by his wife of 41 years Honorable Bernadette Gomes D’Souza; children Lloyd D’Souza, Vanessa D’Souza and her husband Michael DePetrillo, and Christine D’Souza Gelb and her husband David Gelb; and grandsons Aidan and Dylan DePetrillo; siblings Trevor D’Souza and wife Cynthia, Tressie Dalaya and husband Arun, Trudy Correia and husband Llewellyn; and also loved by a host of in-laws, nieces, nephews, cousins and friends. Terence is preceded in death by his parents, Ignatius and Innocence D’Souza and his in laws, Anthony and Esmeralda Gomes.
Relatives and friends are invited to attend the Visitation at 10:00am on Tuesday, July 9, 2019 at Holy Name of Jesus Church, 6367 St Charles Ave, New Orleans, followed by a Funeral Mass at 12:00 pm celebrated by the Rev. Father Stephen Rowntree, S.J.
In lieu of flowers, please celebrate Terence’s memory by donating to the Ochsner Neuroscience Innovation Fund. Mail checks to 1514 Jefferson Hwy. BH 607, New Orleans, LA 70121 or give online by visiting giving.ochsner.org and choosing the Tribute tab.
SHARE OBITUARY
v.1.11.1