PATTY, KATHY AND JEFF LOVE YOU AND MISS YOU SO MUCH. YOU WERE THE BEST AUNT AND GODMOTHER I COULD EVER OF HAD. YOU HAD SUCH A SENSE OF HUMOR. WE WILL NEVER FORGET YOU. YOU WILL ALWAYS BE HERE WITH US.

Aunt Pat you were a special person.You had challenges in life that most of us can only imagine...yet you never complained. You were dearly loved by your husband Bob and all your kids and grandkids. My mom loved spending time with you..she loved you..and you were her best friend.We allhad great times on vacation and visits and I will never forget them. I hope you are comfortable and watching over everyone from above..maybe even chatting and laughing with one of your best friends right now..Love, John

Aunt Pat you were a special person. You had challenges in life that most of us can only imagine...yet you never complained. You were dearly loved by your husband Bob and all your kids and grandkids. My mom loved spending time with you..she loved you...and you were her best friend. We all had great times on vacation and visits and I will never forget them. I hope you are comfortable and watching over everyone from above..maybe even chatting and laughing with one of your best friends right now..Love, John

Pat, our neighbor, our dear friend. As we look out our front window, we recall fond memories of our visits. 
  You were always cheerful and enjoyed our chats covering family, health, current world news, sports, recalling our youth, concerns of other neighbors, recipes and weather.
   Pat, we miss you and we will always remember
                                                                  Rest in peace
                                                                         Elsie and Ed

I could not have asked for a better Grandmother than Nanny.  Every time I went over to the house at 34 Garden Avenue, Nanny's face lit up with joy, even if we had been there just the day before.  She never stopped showing her love for us.  Even when she was bound by her physical limitations, her love of life and family only got stronger. She was always wanting to hear about my latest hockey game or how I was doing in school, and the same went for my brother and my cousins.  She never failed to tell me how tall I had grown since she had last seen me, even if it had only been a week or two.  

I remember during the week or so after Christmas, when the whole family would come home from upstate and from Georgia and we would have a great time.  A few years ago, Uncle Gary and Uncle Kevin brought their guitars and played songs for the entire family in Nanny and Pop's living room.  I remember it was when the walls were dark wood paneling, before they had been painted.  Mostly, I remember their rendition of 'If I Had A Million Dollars', and I remember Nanny cheering the loudest of all of us.  She was so proud of all of her kids and grand kids, and she never stopped showing it.  

I always admired Nanny's determination and courage to keep fighting.  I learned through my parents that she was only expected to live 5 years after her diagnosis.  However she kept pushing onward, and lived life as best as she could.  Her love of living and family, a strong faith in god and her strong willed personality made all of this possible.  Through her determination, she taught me how to find strength even when the odds are stacked against me, and how to keep moving when times get hard.  I can still feel her pushing me today.  She helps me along and helps me feel like I can do anything I set my mind to, just like she did. 

I believe she is with her family now, Great Nanny and Aunt Maureen, and I believe some day we will be joining her there.  I miss you so much Nanny, and I will always love you.  Thank you for everything.

I can remember being so nervous the first time I came to 34 Garden Avenue to meet Nanny and Pop. I didn't really know what to expect and was only a little calmer by thinking- Well, if Bob is such a great guy, it would have a lot to do with being raised by great people. Nanny and Pop were warm and welcoming, and their sense of humor- with the loving bantering,  was something that made me feel comfortable and able to  fit right in.  As time went on, and I was going to become part of this family, I can remember being so happy that Nanny was who she was. There would be no "monster-in-law" stories - which is probably every girl's secret nightmare. Nanny was sweet, caring, funny, respectful and offered advice only when it was asked for. She was a good listener and showed her joy in hearing about all of the family's milestones and accomplishments.
    Her family was her world when her physical world got incredibly small and limited. I will always be in awe of her strength and her ability to laugh. I know she is watching because she is already dropping little hints that she is very much around us and I know that she is smiling. 
I miss you Nanny.  Thank you for being the best mother-in-law and for raising the man I married to be a truly good person.
Love. Karen


It’s unbelievably difficult to sit here and think about which happy memories I had with Nanny that I should put down, because there are so many of them to choose from. There wasn’t a single day that I went to visit her in my entire life that her eyes didn’t light up like the Fourth of July when she saw me or the rest of the family come in. Not only that, but the amount of support that she gave everyone, no matter what they were going through in their lives, is insurmountable.

I remember watching old videotapes of Christmas celebrations back when I was just a little boy, about four years old. Uncle Gary and Uncle Kevin were playing songs in the living room, and I wanted to be like them SO BAD that I just got up, strummed away on my little guitar, singing nursery rhymes or stories or whatever came to my mind. But every time any of us got in the front of the room to perform, Nanny would always cheer and applaud the loudest out of anyone. She always wanted to make sure we knew we were loved, and that we always had someone rooting for them in whatever we decided to do.

Eighteen years and four more grandkids later, Nanny was always our cheerleader, for EVERYTHING. She loved hearing stories about the younger kids’ athletic accomplishments, or mine and Kevin’s and Gary's musical ventures. She was thrilled when I told her about my experiences at school, and becoming a firefighter just like my dad. She loved when everyone just sat and talked. Even if it was about nothing, or just everyday happenings, or important things like graduations and birthdays and promotions, she loved being with the people she held near and dear to her.

It was always amazing to me how this woman, one of the bravest I’ve ever met in my life, could go through what she had gone through and still live life with a big smile on her face. She fought a lot of battles, but in the end, she has a loving husband, three kids who grew into intelligent, successful gentlemen, two daughters-in-law that she welcomed with open arms, and five grandkids that she was always so proud of to show for it.

It hasn’t been easy since you’ve been gone, Nanny. Christmas last year was one of the happiest nights I’ve ever had, being able to sing for you and have all of us play music for you one last time. It’s to the point now that every time I hear “Five Foot Two, Eyes of Blue”, I always think of you and the smile you had on your face when we played it. I’m happy that we were able to make you smile like that before you left. It's one of the best memories I have.

But I know that you’re still here, in all of our hearts. In the way we live our lives. In our choices, our bravery, our courage in the face of adversity and toughness through times that try all of our abilities. You’re here in every smile, every thought of hope, every time we look into the faces of people we love and have this overwhelming sense of peace and calm and happiness…I know you really are our guardian angel.

Thank you for loving all of us the way you did, and for being such an amazing, courageous, strong woman.

I miss you more than words can describe, Nanny. But I will always love you even more.

Love,
Bobby

I remember waking up early on school mornings on Bear lane, with Mom already awake making breakfast. I remember dinners, always tasty, always ready when my Dad got home. Mom took such good care of us.  I also remember when her legs started giving her trouble, and how some of the tasks she normally did became challenging. We had to pitch in and help, shopping, laundry, other things that she took care of became hard for her. But she never seemed to worry about herself. The original diagnosis was for a fast moving disease that would cause her severe issues quickly. This turned out to be wrong. Mom would slowly lose muscle in her legs nonetheless, but she never complained. Mom got a job at the BNL BERA office in around 1981. Dad would meet her at the roll down gate and open up the office for her, and she would work in the office, including dropping film off in Bellport for developing. I remember how proud she was to have that job, to show that even though she was disabled she could be out in the workforce.  She cared so much about all of us, making sure that we were always taken care of. As time progressed and she moved to a walker and then a wheelchair she continued to prepare dinners, and to care for her family.  As my brothers moved away she would always discuss how she wanted to make sure they were ok, and how it was hard for her to have them far away. But Christmas time was always special, as the family would get together every year, and celebrate Dad’s birthday and the holidays. Kevin and Gary would try and visit at the same time, so we were all together. She cherished those times so very much. A stroke in 2009 caused her to lose movement of her good arm, the one that was least affected by the muscle disease. After the stroke life became much more difficult for her, she couldn’t do all the things she was so accustomed to doing, the things that made her happy, which was making others happy.  Things like preparing dinners, and just being involved in the running of the household.  She couldn’t see well enough to read, so TV and music became her pastime. the NY Yankees were her passion, from the days when her Dad took her to Yankee stadium. And worrying.  She worried about everyone in the family, and always wanted to know if I had heard things about my brothers, about the grandkids, anything that would make her feel more at ease that everyone was doing ok.  But she never worried about herself. The courage that she showed throughout her lifetime was amazing. When we were in the hospital the last time she knew that if she refused the feeding tube it would not be much longer for her. She looked at me and told me “no tube”, she said she had been battling for so long, and that she was just so tired. Mom immediately began compiling a list of things that she wanted to do, that she needed to tell family members, and that she wanted to hear. Most of all she wanted to hear my brothers play music. She wanted to hear them play and sing together, and she wanted Kevin to play his new songs for her.  Mom asked me to please make sure these things happened. Such tremendous courage, such kindness and concern, such a tremendous woman. My Mom was so special. I’m sure that she is the guardian angel of our family in heaven.

SHE WAS AWESOME, BUT HER HUSBAND GIVES ME SNACKS SO I'M GLAD THAT HE'S STILL WITH US.

A happy memory for me was when Mom got her braces for her legs and could drive again. She took me and Gary to see The Muppet Movie in Port Jefferson Station. Apparently this was 1979, according to wikipedia.  So I was 11 or so and Gary was 9.  We had never been anywhere before, that I could remember, with Mom driving.  If we had it had been quite a few years.  She was so happy and so was I.  We ate at Wendy's before the movie, which I had never had.  Such a simple evening and an everyday occurrence for most people but something I will never forget.  I don't think Gary and I even argued that day.

Me and Mom would go to the grocery store together too, after that.  Earlier Dad and I would go and I would do most of the basic shopping while he got the meat and deli items.  Picture the looks I got at age 9 or 10 pushing a full grocery cart of stuff while consulting the big list that Mom had written for me.  

I used to bring a bag lunch to school every day (almost always a baloney sandwich, because that was my favorite thing), and Mom would put little surprises in there, like candy bars.  And she would write "I love you, have a good day!" or something similar on the napkin.

Though Mom tried to get me to eat peas, her cooking was excellent in so many other ways.  I just made her macaroni salad tonight, which has subtle flavors.  Dad always said that it didn't "go with anything".  Maybe he's right, because it is easily overpowered.  So I just eat it by itself with maybe a pickle.  

Her italian dishes were amazing.  I try and try but I cannot duplicate her lasagna or meat sauce or meatballs.  And I would ask her for her recipes and write them down but she was instinctive, not the type of cook that measured too much.  "Put some garlic but don't overdo it."

When my friend Sean and I made our silly demo tape in college, I gave Mom a copy and she just about wore it out.  I'm sure Dad had had enough of "Splatt Street 59" and "City of New Orleans".  Brian is right, she loved the music so much.  Even if it was not the best thing anybody ever produced.  Her father got her started on that I think, apparently he was extremely talented, and played by ear, and couldn't read music. Then my Dad played guitar too, though he doesn't play too much anymore.

I finished the 5 song CD in time for her to drive LaShawn and Dad nuts with it.  I didn't finish the newer one in time though.  I haven't done a single thing on it this year.  Because it isn't the same now.

Gary and Bri and Bobby and I did songs for Mom on Saturday this past Christmas, before we went to play hockey.  It was good.  Monday morning she was awake and I asked if she wanted me to try to play some more for her, and she just gave her wry wordless answer which basically said "of course I do".  It was early (for me anyway) and I was already upset, but I tried my best.  I was crying some but I think I got the basic gist of the songs across.  Some of them she had not heard before.  The last thing I heard her say, which was surprisingly loud and clear, was directed at LaShawn.  She said "I love him!!"

And how hard it was for me to leave to go to Atlanta that morning.  LaShawn said I should go, that that is what Mom wanted.  The previous Christmas I was leaving and saying goodbye and I just started bawling like a baby.  And Mom said "why are you crying??"  I said that when I was younger I didn't mind living so far away.  But that now it is so hard.  And as usual she was stronger than me.  Way stronger.

Mom never complained about anything regarding her health, which is remarkable.  She didn't seem to care about herself or her problems - she cared about my problems, my Dad's problems, she cared about my brothers and their wives and their children and their pets and she was truly selfless.  I think this is what led me to compare her to Jesus in the essay that I read at the funeral.  I don't know anybody else that has those qualities.  

Nanny was an amazing woman and had a giant impact on my life. Nanny was always happy to see us and I always heard that she couldn't wait for us to come visit. She loved to listen about my siblings and my sports and activities we were doing at the time. I knew that Nanny loved to listen to music from her kids and grand kids. When I did a school project to learn more about my grandparents I chose Nanny to interview and I was able to learn a lot about my family and her life growing up. She was so happy to let me talk to her about her life and I learned a lot about her. From what I knew about Nanny she always had a positive outlook and led a happy life that she was satisfied with. She never wanted gifts and gave to others as much as she could. She loved all of her family and enjoyed our conversations with her. Nanny will always be remembered and loved.

Nanny was the best grandmother I could've ever hoped for. She was infinitely loving and kind, while at the same time very strong. Our shared love of the Yankees would always allow for long conversations while watching games together or over the phone. She had a genuine interest in the lives of all of her grandchildren, especially our athletic and academic journeys. Her undying love for her family stretched generations, and all the way from Atlanta to Long Island to Saratoga. I will always appreciate how proud she was of me, and I will continue to try to make her proud every day.

Mom, it’s difficult to say all that you meant to me in such a short message. You endured so much illness, and pain, and you were so brave through all of it. You taught me how to deal with adversity and situations beyond your control. You also taught me what matters most in life, which are the people that you care about. 

One thing that we shared was that we were both the youngest in our family. You understood what it was like to be the little one, the difficulties and the good parts. How to handle being last, being smallest, and when to push back. How to deal with people. 

Of course you taught me so much more. I remember all the time you spent with us when we were little. I remember all the love. I remember all the laughs.  You will only have one Mom in this world. And I miss you.

But you continued to teach me until the end. You taught me how to face the end of life with dignity. I believe that you are now with the people that meant the most to you, that went before you. I believe you are with my Nanny and Aunt Maureen now, and other family and loved ones. I believe that you are at peace. And I believe that I will see you again.
 
Love, 
Gary

Nanny was always a good influence for me especially when I was young.  Nanny was never sad, she was always smiling no matter what was going on.  I am glad that Patricia is my middle name because whenever I see my initial or someone says my name I think of Nanny and all the good times I had with her.  People tell me that Nanny was a fast runner and I am glad that I got that trait from her.  I am also reminded of Nanny when I run, and this makes me really happy.  Nanny always wanted to hear about my brothers and I, and was so proud of our accomplishments, no matter how small.  This gave all of us the confidence and self-pride that a person needs.  I will miss Nanny forever, and I will always remember everything she has done for me.

Patricia Chmiel was more than just the mother of my husband or the grandmother of my children.  She was a second mother who welcomed her new daughters with open arms.  She was a friend, a mentor and a confidant to me.  She had an undying love for her family.  She was so proud to be a wife, a mom and Nanny.  I will always admire her quiet strength and her ready laugh.

Mom (pat)
You were the best woman in the world, and I ended up with you. Married May 11 1963.
                                  With love
                                       Your husband and lover
                                                    Dad (Bob)

pat(mom)
    You were the best woman in the world, and to think I was lucky enough to end up with you. Married May 11, 1963.
                                                    Love
                                                      Your husband
                                                            Bob(dad)

Patty Kathy and Jeff love you and miss you so much you were the best aunt and godmother I could ever of had. you had such a sense of humor. We will never forget you . You will always be here with us. Patty Kathy and Jeff

OBITUARY

Patricia E. pat byrnes Chmiel

April 15, 1940 – December 31, 2014

O.B. Davis Funeral Homes - Miller Place

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