Evelyn June Curliss Waits

WAITS, Evelyn June (Curliss), age 80, a resident of Dayton, passed away peacefully on Saturday, November 22, 2014 at her Miami Township home surrounded by family. She was born June 26, 1934 in Wilmington, Ohio to the late Oscar L. Sr. and Ferroll Curliss. She is survived by her husband of 55 years, James F. Waits; daughters, Stephanie S. (Mark) DeRyke and Elaine A. (Ted) Gladeau; grandchildren, Brittany DeRyke and Danielle Gladeau; sisters, Virginia Steele, Blanche Curliss, Jane Leidenheimer, Maureen Curliss, and Marilyn Hild; brothers, Larry Curliss and Michael Curliss; and numerous nieces and nephews. Evelyn graduated in 1952 from Wilmington High School. She attended Wilmington College and graduated in 1960 with a Bachelor of Arts in Elementary Education. Evelyn was a teacher for 30 years and retired from Miamisburg City Schools in 1996. She was a member of Ohio Retired Teachers’ Association and Montgomery County Retired Teachers’ Association. Some of her other favorite activities included traveling with her husband and family, gardening, reading and long walks at various area parks. Most of all she enjoyed being surrounded by her family. Memorial contributions may be made to Hospice of Dayton and the Alzheimer’s Association.

Eulogies

By Brittany DeRyke, Granddaughter

On behalf of my family, I want to thank you all for being here today. It saddens me that we must meet under these circumstances, but my family is truly touched that you have come to pay your respects and celebrate my grandma, Evelyn Waits’, life. She has meant so much to so many people, and your presence here signifies that in some way she touched your life.

In her final days, she grew weak, she could barely breathe, let alone speak. The symptoms of late Alzheimer’s overcame her. But she left this Earth peacefully, in her own home, and surrounded by her immediate family. This, however, is not how I want you to remember Evelyn Waits because she was not a weak person. She was a strong woman, in mind, body and spirit.

Her roles were many.

She was a sister, the middle child of 13 children born to Oscar Sr. and Ferroll Curliss. Growing up with limited money and material possessions made her strong, it made her appreciate the things she did have and the people that surrounded her, it made her want to help people that had similar backgrounds as her, and it made her humble.

She was a fantastic wife of 55 years to my Pawpaw, Jim Waits. She was his best-friend, spouse, and confidante. They brought out the best in each other, helped each other grow, they celebrated their successes, worked through the speed bumps, they created dreams and a beautiful life together. Their marriage is an inspiration to so many. They protected and cared for each other and truly lived up to their wedding vows. Their marriage has taught us that love and dedication can be achieved.

My grandmother was also a mother to 2 daughters, Stephanie and Elaine. She did what any great mother does…she loved her daughters with her whole heart, she bandaged their wounds, nurtured their spirits, fostered their dreams, believed in their capabilities, and helped mold them into the incredible women they are today.

She was also a grandmother to two beautiful granddaughters. Danielle and I could not have asked for a more incredible grandmother. Grandmothers are charged with spoiling their grandchildren, and she did just that, but not in the obvious sense of the word with material possessions. In addition to the abundance of presents we received on birthdays and Christmases, she made sure she spoiled us with love, knowledge, and experiences. Many times, Grandma and Grandpa were our built in babysitters…but they gladly watched us. Between the airplane rides with our favorite pilot and co-pilot, to trips to the Air Force Museum, Young's Jersey Dairy, movie theatres and various other area destinations, we spent countless hours with our grandparents. The memories are endless.

She was a teacher for 30 years and taught more than a thousand children in her career. As a teacher, she walked away from every school year knowing that she shaped the children in her classroom to be thoughtful, knowledgeable and compassionate human beings. She was a tough teacher, and many times she expected more out of her students than they expected from themselves. She pushed them to achieve great things…and she was truly a “teacher” in every meaning of the word.

She was a friend and a neighbor. She spent many afternoons grabbing a bite to eat or coffee with friends, neighbors and former colleagues.

Through all the lives she touched, many can agree that she was fair, kind, charitable, optimistic, generous, strong and humble. She was family-oriented, always looking forward to holidays and get togethers to put smiles on all of our faces. She was invested in her family's interests (concerts, dance recitals, award ceremonies, and the list goes on and on). She was an avid reader and had a thirst for knowledge second to none. Grandma had a green thumb and could be found in her garden on any given weekend. She adored traveling, whether it was via cruise ship, airplane, car, or on foot. She saw nearly every state in our great country. Later in her life, my grandpa and grandma devoted their travels to seeing and photographing every covered bridge in Indiana, Kentucky, and Ohio. It provided a nice project for them to do together, and the memories are ones that I know my pawpaw will cherish throughout his life. Even into her mid 70s, Memaw walked three miles a day (and some of her walks were no cake-walk – treacherous gravel and overgrown paths and steep hills), and she did it without breaking a sweat.

One of my favorite memories was sleeping over at my grandparent’s house and right before bed she would curl up next to me and read a book called Stellaluna. She always read with such character. I loved listening to her read. What I would give to hear her read that story one more time.

Writing this in the days after her passing, I looked up my grandmother’s name and its origin. One of the many meanings of her name was the Irish word for songbird. This gave me chills. The day she died, the family was sitting in the living room of my grandparent’s house. Less than an hour after her passing, a single bird was singing sweetly outside their bay window. Naturally, this brought tears to my eyes when thinking back to that beautiful song. In some way, I want to believe that my grandma was saying goodbye through the songbird because in her final moments, she could not speak.

I want to leave you with one final message. It can be found in the program

:

"Those special memories of you will always bring a smile, if only I could have you back for just a little while. Then we could sit and talk again just like we used to. You always meant so very much and always will too. The fact that you're no longer here, will always cause me pain but you're forever in my heart, until we meet again"

I love you Memaw… See ya later alligator.

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By Stephanie S. DeRyke, Daughter

How do I convey into a few moments, memories that took a lifetime to create? The places we've been, the moments we've shared as mother and daughter I will cherish all of my life. I would like to share a short story that speaks to how I have always viewed my mom.

The Starfish

One day I was standing on a cliff overlooking the ocean when I saw a distant figure on the shore engaged in an exuberant dance. My spirit soared at the beauty and freedom of the movements. As I descended the narrow path to the beach, I realized it was a child making the same motions over and over. Drawing closer, I saw the shoreline was awash as far as the eye could see with millions of starfish, brought in by an unusually high tide. The child was methodically picking them up and throwing them back into the ocean. I asked her what she was doing. She replied, “The starfish will all die if I do not get them back in the water.” Overwhelmed by the enormity of her task, I said, “But there are millions of them. Even if you stand here all night throwing them back, nobody will notice the difference.” The child calmly threw another starfish into the water, smiled at my cynicism, and said “Well, maybe so, but I sure made a difference to that one.”

Mom embodied that loving, caring, compassionate and giving spirit. She touched so many in her lifetime as a devoted wife, mother, grandmother, sister, teacher and friend. Whether she realized it or not, she was just like that exuberant little girl on the beach. We were her starfish and in her own special way, she made a difference to each and every one of us.

On a more personal note: Mom, I hope you knew what a wonderful legacy you left behind in your beautiful granddaughters. You are always in my heart. I love you. I’ll be seeing you.

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By Elaine Gladeau, Daughter

It is with a very heavy heart I stand before you today, but I am so very thankful that our family was all gathered together with Mom to say our final goodbyes before she took her last breath. Though Alzheimer’s robbed her of most of her memories, she left us with so many beautiful memories and she will continue to live on in ours.

There are so many fond memories that come to mind when thinking back over the years. When Steph and I were young, I remember us cuddling up to you on the couch on weekend nights watching old thriller movies or playing Sword of Fargol for hours on our Commadore 64 computer.

I remember how you were always there taking such good care of us when we were sick or injured. There’s nobody that takes care of you like your mom. You rushed me to the doctor when I clumsily burnt my eye with a curling iron while getting ready for school, and I can still hear you saying “you did it again didn’t you?” when I cried out while going through my morning routine a few years later, a mother’s intuition. And I did finally learn to use that curling iron without injuring myself. You instilled in me your caring, nurturing spirit that I now apply to caring for my patients at work as well as caring for my family.

I remember Christmas’ and how you would buy so many gifts we could barely get in the living room. Coming from a very large family and having little as a child, you always wanted to give us so much. And you did. Of course that extended beyond just the family. Every year when you were teaching at Wantz Junior High you would go to the guidance counselors to find less fortunate students who had little. You would carefully buy and wrap gifts for the children to be given anonymously so they were sure to have plenty at Christmas as well.

You were always so attentive and caring with your students. You were strict but you wanted them to learn, to love learning and to know that you really cared about them and about their success. You have passed that gift down to your grandchildren as Danielle and Brittany apply those great qualities to their teaching and interacting with children.

I remember so many ways you instilled in me a love and appreciation of nature, of family and of friends. We would go hiking or camping at Old Man’s Cave or Sugarcreek Metropark as a family or with all of our neighborhood friends. We would have very large family reunions at Grandma and Grandpa Curliss’ or at Fort Ancient Park. There were block parties and progressive dinners and just a general caring and closeness with neighborhood friends that continues today.

I remember how you were so wonderful and accepting of Ted when I came home from college and we announced we were going to be married though you had just met him the day before and we had only been dating for a month. You have loved him and treated him as your own and he has always felt you were his second mom. You always responded positively to the good natured ribbing between you two. Even in the end he could get a response out of you; a smile, a little twinkle in your eye when you called him a hillbilly; when none of the rest of us seemed to be able to reach you.

You helped us into our new lives with our spouses sharing recipes and teaching us how to cook, though your measurements were sometimes given as a little of this and some of that and mix it together. When we would ask you how much of each ingredient, you would just say, “’until it tastes right”. And nobody will ever make a butterscotch cream pie like you Mom.

You loved to travel and took so many trips and cruises with us, with Dad, with the retired teachers and that very special cruise we all took together as a family with our husbands and children to Hawaii; our last big vacation together. I am so thankful we all shared that time. When Danielle and Brittany were little, we all went to Disney World. While at the Hoop Dee Do Review, Ted told them it was yours and Dads anniversary and they made you dance together in the spotlight. Of course it wasn’t your anniversary. But you went along with it. And we talked you into getting on the Big Thunder Mountain Railroad ride telling you it was just a simple train ride. It turned out it was more of a roller coaster. I’ll never forget the look on your face when you got off the ride that seemed to say I’ll never forgive you for that, but you did.

You and Dad have taught us how to love, wholly and completely in your 55 years together. And I am so grateful Dad was able to care for you at home until your final breath. I am amazed by the strength and perseverance he displayed. The love and dedication you have shown for one another through good times and tough times we try to apply in our own lives, our own marriages. That Dad was able to go from the role of provider to the role of caregiver speaks volumes of your love. For us to see him go from the dad who went to work and came home and took care of the yard and cars and anything that breaks down and could barely boil water, to the man who prepares your meals, does your laundry, cleans you up and makes sure you’re comfortable is a lesson in love and devotion many will never know.

Though you were robbed of so many of our wonderful memories in the end, we will carry them with us always. You’ve touched us all in one way or another, as a mother, as a wife, as a grandmother, as a teacher, as a neighbor and a friend. We love you and you will live on in our memories and in the special ways you touched our lives.

In closing I want to share with you a poem.

I wish you enough sun to keep your attitude bright. I wish you enough rain to appreciate the sun more. I wish you enough happiness to keep your spirit alive. I wish you enough pain so that the smallest joys in life appear much bigger. I wish you enough gain to satisfy your wanting. I wish you enough loss to appreciate all that you possess.

I wish you enough hellos to get you through the final good-bye.

They say it takes a minute to find a special person, an hour to appreciate them, a day to love them, and an entire lifetime to forget them.

I love you, Mom. Thank you for giving us enough.

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By Ted Gladeau, Son-in-Law

First, let me say that I’m not very good at this type of thing. But, I feel it an honor to be able to talk in front of you today. Not so much as we mourn the passing of Evelyn but more to celebrate her life. She truly was a wonderful woman, a fantastic wife and mother, a terrific grandmother, a caring and concerned teacher and tremendous friend to everyone around her.

As a teacher, I’m often asked to write letters of recommendations for students. And in some of those recommendations, I’m asked the sum up that student in a word or two. If I were writing one for Evelyn, that one word would be MOM.

Throughout my life, I’ve been blessed with so many things. Wonderful parents, a loving, compassionate wife, a daughter that surpasses any parents expectations, pretty good health, the basic needs in life plus more, and great family and friends just to name a few. But I’ve been extremely blessed to have two “moms” in my life --- my mother, who passed away about 10 years ago, and Evelyn my mother-in-law.

About 28 ½ years ago when Elaine and I were married, Evelyn was basically just my wife’s mother. But as time passed, she became so much more than that. She became a friend, a colleague, a mentor and an inspiration. Very quickly she became “mom”. I like to believe that she and I developed a relationship that is more than her simply being my mother-in-law. It felt more like mother and son.

She and I shared a common passion in that we are both educators and we would spend time talking about school, students, the education process and a host of other items dealing with education. We spent time doing work around their house, dining together as a family, laughing together, traveling as a family and simply enjoying each other’s company. But probably most of all, I enjoyed picking on her just to see her smile. The wet-willies, the blowing on the back of her neck, the teasing and the occasional practical jokes all done in fun seemed to brighten her day.

Although I’m going to miss those things, I’m happy to always have the memories. So, this poem is for you Evelyn for I truly see you as my mom.

What is a Mom?

A mom is one of life's best gifts,

Someone to treasure all life through,

She's caring and loving,

Thoughtful and true,

Someone who is always a special part of your life,

Someone who holds a prime place in your heart,

She's a mentor, a confident and also a friend,

Someone on whose love you can depend.

A mom always has your best interests at heart,

She's someone so dear and so good,

She's a blessing, she's a gift,

She's a treasure like no other,

She's someone that is truly wonderful.

Wherever you go, and whatever you do,

A mom’s love will always see you through,

A mom is truly invaluable,

Indispensable and unforgettable.

I wouldn't want anyone but you,

And that's why I'm so grateful,

that life picked you for me.