Therese "Terry" K. Loquidis

Long time Mesa resident, devout Catholic, bridge aficionado, and beloved mother, grandmother, great-grandmother, sister, aunt, and friend passed away unexpectedly at her home on October 28, 2013, at the age of 86. She was an amazing, unique, strong and vibrant woman.

Terry was the youngest of 15 children. She was born on April 30, 1927, to Vincent and Agatha Miholic in North Chicago, Illinois. She married John Loquidis on October 9th, 1948. They had five children; John III, Laurene, Linnea, Leslie, and Leanne.

Terry was so engaged, active and involved. She hosted a bridge party every other week in her home, watched her great-granddaughter Katlyn multiple times a week, occasionally watched some of her other eight great-grandchildren, visited with all of her daughters on a weekly basis, prepared dinner for various family members, never missed Mass or Communion, read the newspaper and worked all the puzzles, was an avid Suns fan, played bridge and other games on the computer, surfed the web and Facebooked. As one extended family member said, it's a testament to Terry that everyone is genuinely shocked this 86-year-old woman has died.

The family is sadly proceeding with all the details of death while mourning her loss. She made this a bit easier as she left extensive instructions on how to deal with her estate, her funeral and her possessions. Terry’s devastated family includes: son John Loquidis III and his daughters Emily and Lulu.; daughter Lauri Pitzer and partner Lynn Taylor, and her children Danny and Breanna; daughter Linnea Tow and husband David, Linnea’s daughters Kim McCurtain and husband Paul and children Chase, Taylor & Katlyn; Erika Cavallaro, husband Frank, and children Hunter & Ava; Karla Carvajal, husband Christian and children Jaden, Anaya, & Brielle and David’s daughters Kristie with partner Brandy and Lindsey. Next is daughter Leslie Ostrander with her partner Jim Sumpter and her sons Joshua, Jeremy with his wife Kristy and daughter Arya and Leslie’s third son Brett. Finally, daughter Leanne Mariano and husband Carl and sons Nate and Bryce. She also leaves behind her sister Barbara Jurcin of Sayre, PA, and her brother Matt Miholic and his wife Dorothy of Mundelein, IL and more nieces and nephews than you can count. Her pseudo-family, young and old, number in the hundreds. Terry cherished every member of her family for the individuals they are - in their strengths and their weaknesses. They meant more to her than life itself.

Services were held November 15 & 16, 2013. In lieu of flowers, the family would appreciate donations in her name to a cause near and dear to Terry's heart, Arizona Disabled Sports, PO Box 4727, Mesa, AZ 85211, phone (480) 835-6273 or online at www.arizonadisabledsports.com.

Terry will be missed for her bigger than life personality, but mostly for her enormous heart. God has taken a woman who was truly a force of nature.

Following are eulogies written by some of her grandchildren that were read at the service.

First, Kim McCurtain:

My Grandma Terry was a mom, grandma, great grandma, aunt, sister and friend to many lucky people. Grandma cherished her family, they meant more to her than life. Matter of fact, with the exception of a few outside activities, her five children, 12 grandchildren and nine great grand children were her life. Four of the grandchildren have gone on to have children. I had Chase, Taylor and Katlyn. My sister Erika had Hunter and Ava; my other sister Karla had Jaden, Anaya and Brielle. Jeremy, Leslie's son, had Arya. Grandma was anxiously waiting for Josh, Brett, Nate, Bryce, Danny, Breanna, Emily and Lulu to settle down and get married. It was always the 2,000 question Spanish inquisition when we all got together. So - how serious are you with....... (whomever)?

Grandma loved every one of her children, big or small. She looked forward to the holidays to get this big family together. She was the catalyst organizing and always insisted on providing the main dish and potatoes. She would assign the side dishes lest anyone mess up! This family was her pride and joy. She felt blessed to have so many of us so close.

Grandma was feisty and stubborn. I am sure every family member could tell you a story about her. I will tell you a few of my favorites. Grandma didn't like change. She loved watching TV, she would spend hours watching TV. We decided one year to buy her a DVR. She assured everyone in the family that after the year was up it would be gone. I spent many hours at her house convincing her if she tried it she would love it. We went round and round for months talking about the DVR and how she didn't need one. One day I programmed her DVR to tape all her favorite shows and showed her how to tape shows. It had been about three months since we had bought the DVR, but within the next week, she decided this was the best machine ever. By six months she was convinced she had loved it the whole time and NEVER told me she wouldn't keep it. She was too funny!!!

Grandma watched my youngest daughter Katlyn since she was 6-months-old. She would call Katlyn her "charge.” She would wait to get her schedule before she would plan out her following week. I would pay grandma weekly to watch Katlyn. Katlyn was easy to watch and grandma always felt like I was paying her too much to watch her. So the battle was on, she would find ways to give me back the money I would pay her. She would accept some of it but would battle with me weekly over the amount. She would wait until I was doing something and put it back in my purse. She would give it to Katlyn to sneak it back into my wallet or she would take Katlyn to the store and let her buy something. The battle never ended and I guess grandma won this one.

Grandma loved to shop at Kohl's, Big Lots, K-Mart and of course, Fry's. I would come over to visit and she would show me all the things she'd bought and tell me what a great deal she got. Everything always started at about $89, but she always got it on closeout for $9.99. She bought more knick knacks and furniture than anyone I know. Between myself, mom and David we always got to put it all together too!

She had a heart that never stopped. She forgave everyone and continued to be the most giving person I know. I hope this is one trait I can pass on to my kids. Thanks grandma for being such a great role model.

My favorite memory of grandma was the weekly dinners at her house. Every week she cooked dinner for my mom and David and one or two families. Without fail, even when she had no teeth and couldn’t eat, she was cooking. She was 86. Amazing!

At 86, she was still engaged, active and involved. She hosted a bridge party every other week in her home, occasionally watched some of her other great-grandchildren, visited with all of her daughters on a weekly basis, prepared dinner for various family members, never missed Mass or Communion, read the newspaper and worked all the puzzles. She was an avid Suns fan, even when they were losing. She played bridge on line and would often leave someplace quickly because she had a bridge game with someone in Australia! She played other games, purchased gifts, surfed the web and posted on Facebook like she was 19!

Never the less, as she often said, I speak her words, "Sadness is for the dead. I will be with you, very much alive ‘spiritually!!’ It is my wish that you all celebrate my life. Celebrate as I would, if I could be with you. Throw a beer party on me! Enjoy, have fun and love one another. Always remember me in your prayers. I’ll drink to that!’”

Look at all these people here celebrating your life. What a testament to you. Grandma you will be missed!!

Next Josh Ostrander:

I often spend time thinking about what the best way to live is, what manner of existence would, when facing the end, allow me to say “I lived the fullest, most vigorous life I possibly could.” It’s a big concept. During each session of thought, I’d inevitably end up with a series of questions that (at least in my mind) would help me understand whether I was living life the right way or not:

Am I enjoying my life? Am I enthusiastic and invigorated with who I am? Am I participating in the world around me rather than watching it pass me by? Do I put as much love and energy into other people and things as I do myself? Am I moral? Do I show strength in difficult situations? Am I upholding my convictions with compassion, tenderness, and understanding? Do I respect others and am I, in turn, worthy of their respect? Am I true to my family? My friends?

Now, I can’t say that I am able to answer “yes” to all of these questions. I’d guess that most cannot. In truth, I can’t think of many people in my life that embody these attributes and with certainty I can name only one: my grandmother, Terry.

I’m here to represent my family; my mother Leslie, her partner Jim, my brother Jeremy, his wife Kristy and daughter Arya, and my youngest brother Brett.

When first asked speak, to honor my Grandmother’s memory now that she has passed, my initial instinct was to share anecdotes, many of them humorous, all filled with the exuberant zeal for living she herself defined. I quickly realized that this was an impossible task. The stories are literally endless. We all have them. Picking the best ones would be akin to choosing the shiniest diamond in a bottomless treasure chest full of diamonds. Instead, I’ll try to convey what she meant to us and what it was to be loved as her grandchild.

In our youth, Grandma was an icon of love, respect, and occasional terror. She was a hurricane of a woman; welcoming every one of us with open arms, kisses aplenty, and uproarious laughter at the simplest moments of joy.

Grandma had a powerful force of will. A lifetime of experience had taught her the value of both love unconditional and unflinching discipline, when it was called for.To a cadre of young, occasionally defiant boys, the message was clear: you did what Grandma Terry asked you to do, and you did it because it made you happy to make her proud of you.

As the eldest male grandchild, I was the first in a proud line of benevolent male servants to do her bidding. She had a peculiar way of getting my attention--a trait that maintained throughout her life—by pronouncing the syllables in my name sharply: Jah-shoo-WAH.

“JahshooWAH, help your mother carry those boxes.”

“JahshooWAH, get your grandmother a beer.”

“JahshooWAH, isn’t it time you met someone nice and settled down?”

“JahshooWAH, I just want to say it’s so wonderful to see you doing so well for yourself. We were all worried for awhile there.”

And so it went for us all, we proud legions of adoring grandchildren.

She had a fondest for catchphrases, pet names, and celebratory exclamations; some of them energetic, others mildly profane, all of them drenched in an all-encompassing affection that’s frankly difficult to describe. When you were around her, you felt it. We never once doubted that she loved us, and we loved her immensely.

Sudden loss is often accompanied by feelings of bargaining and regret. If I had had the chance to—if only I could have—if there had just been one moment for—us to say every possible thing we could have to her…we would have. This is part of the journey when someone so central to a family departs. But I like to think she already knew that.

I would say so much more if I could; her dancing, her prolific presence in party photos (often with people she did not know), her facility with Facebook and the way she, even at 86, managed to be a constant touchpoint in all our lives. But, as we have learned, there’s just not enough time do everything you’d like.

What I’ve been contemplating most is the magnificent scope of her accomplishments. I see a broad, tightly woven tapestry of people—chilldren, grandchildren, great-grandchildren, family and friends in abundance—gathered in front of us and strewn out across the earth; with her, a shining, thickened thread gleaming brightly in the middle - holding the whole thing together.

If I had the opportunity to see her right now, I think I’d say—outside of the truth that we loved her without end and were proud to be her grandsons—I think I’d say “Well done, Grandma – a job so very well done.”

Third, Danny Pitzer:

My name is Daniel Pitzer and I was blessed with the privilege of calling Terry Loquidis my grandmother. I would like to thank you all for being here today to share in her memory. Grandma was a unique soul who gave so much to this life. She brought five amazing children into this world and raised them with a love and compassion that was in turn passed to their numerous children and grandchildren. The lessons and qualities she instilled in my mother, aunts, and uncle shaped who the would be and were taught over the years to all us lucky grandchildren. In count she was but one woman but her legacy shall live through the ages in all of us, her most proud accomplishment, her family. Each of us remembers her in our own way and today I will share a small sample of mine.

One of my earliest memories of Grandma was her playing motor boat with one of my younger cousins. As she recited the simple poem and tickled my cousin he squealed with laughter. Even at a young age myself, I knew she was in that moment happy beyond description. She would have continued that game until the world stopped to see his smile. What comes from the heart goes to the heart, and in the case of my Grandmother everything came from her heart. She was outspoken and strong willed and loved this life with a fierceness. She would tell you precisely how she felt at any moment about anything, but would never hesitate to comfort anyone in need.

Norman Vincent Peale once said "Joy increases as you give it, and diminishes as you try to keep it to yourself. In giving it, you will accumulate a deposit of joy greater than you ever believed possible." These words truly describe the spirit of my Grandmother. She loved to give. Whether it was birthday cards personalized in her beautiful hand writing, Christmas presents for everyone at attendance to her famous parties, or simply a strong loving hug she gave more joy to us than might seem possible. Nothing in her life was complete until shared with her loving family, and we are in turn blessed to have received more than anyone could have ever asked for.

The one emotion that I will remember most when I think of Grandma is fun. She always brought fun into our lives. Through an outrageous statement or her infectious booming laughter she was fun personified. She lived to make this world a better place, to bring a smile to everyone, and to show us all the road to true happiness. Keep your face to the sunshine and you cannot see the shadows. If we learned but one thing from the tragically short time we had with her it is that your outlook can shape you existence. Have fun in all things, even the difficult, and your life will be a happier one. To summarize a quote from the woman we are all her to honor, "Don't be sad, have fun. Fill your life with joy. Fun is the word and that means have a beer for me. Be happy for me".

And last, Nate Mariano:

My grandma was well known for some of her favorite phrases. “I’ll drink to that”, “it makes no moxnix to me”, and “you big dumb…” – if you knew grandma, you can probably fill in the blank; and when she said it to you, you knew you were accepted as a member of the family or as a friend. As a descriptor of her life, though, you could reduce that phrase of hers to just “big”, because that’s how she was.

She had a big personality and a big presence—you always knew when she walked into the room you were in, or even your ZIP code. She liked big parties, and accordingly, she was a big partier. She even liked Big Red gum, and would always give me a stick when she came to baby sit me when I was younger.

But perhaps most importantly, she had a big family, as we can see is gathered here today. Her capacity for love and care for her family was immense. Grandma was a constant and integral presence in ALL of our lives, which is incredible given how big our family is. Later in life, she was well known for her prolific and humorous use of Facebook to keep in touch with all of us. In typical Grandma fashion, she attacked Facebook in a big way, despite maybe being outside of Mark Zuckerberg’s target age demographic.

Grandma’s strong personality also meant that she could be incredibly stubborn, and I’m sure we all have at least a fond memory or two of this. Many of my memories of her come from the Christmas Eve parties that she orchestrated, which for years she did in a typically “big” way. Multiple presents for EVERY member of the family (upwards of thirty people), Christmas decorations everywhere, enough food to feed a small army, and, of course, huge quantities of beer. Before Christmas shopping in November was a “thing”, Grandma would brag about having all of her shopping done before Thanksgiving.

We always told her that she didn’t have to go to such lengths for these parties, but of course, she ignored us for years. That is, until one year, I guess she got fed up with our comments. So, instead of the big opulent celebration we were used to, she decided that she was giving everyone cash and we were ordering Domino’s for dinner. We tried to convince her that we LIKED the usual parties, but that she just didn’t have to do so much…but, as you might imagine, these efforts to convince her were to no avail. So that’s how we came to have a Super Bowl party on Christmas Eve. Not that there’s anything wrong with Super Bowl parties, but we were all happy when she relented the next year and went back to cooking actual food.

But even accounting for her occasional stubbornness, Grandma gave us so much in life. She was “big” and generous with her love, her time, her acceptance, her concern and comfort, and her love of life. We should all aspire to such bigness.