Darla Jean Stanley

Darla Jean (Dosher) Stanley passed from her earthly home in San Diego, CA in the early morning hours of Friday, December 9th, 2022. Darla was the fifth of 11 children born to Frank and Thelma Dosher in Tipton, Oklahoma. Her family moved to West Texas in 1943, where she graduated from Farwell High School in 1953. In high school, Darla was a star basketball player and named “Most Athletic” as well as “Wittiest” in her senior year. Darla met and married Harold Harlow, a member of the U.S. Air Force, at Cannon Air Base in Clovis, NM. Over the years, they had four children and moved several times before settling in Atwater, CA.

In 1970, Darla married Guy Stanley. They formed their own construction company and built many homes and businesses in Merced County. Following their time in construction, they opened and operated “Darla's Hot Dogs” in Atwater for 27 years. Her grandchildren loved the chili cheese dogs they served. Darla was a member of the Christian Business Women's Association and the First Baptist Church in Atwater for years. After her husband's passing, Darla moved to San Diego. Darla Jean was lovingly cared for at Julie's Assisted Living Home in San Diego for eight years, where she resided until her passing.

Darla is now reunited with her husband Guy Stanley, who passed away in 2008. She was predeceased by her parents Frank and Thelma Dosher, her first husband Harold Harlow, and seven of her dear siblings. Darla leaves three living siblings, Shirley Patteson, Carmelita Holland, and Lanny Dosher, and many loving nephews and nieces. Darla is survived by her four children, six grandchildren, and five great grandchildren: Debra Manbeck and her husband Dwight of Merced, CA, Joy Vetter of Bullhead City, AZ (Loren Wilson [Kaley and Carissa Wilson]), David Harlow and his wife Darla of San Diego, CA (Kevin, Eric, and Daniel Harlow), and Kimi Shanahan of San Antonio, TX (Lindsay [Julian, Jovan and Lexi Silva] and Kyle Shanahan).

A memorial service in honor of Darla will be held at 2PM on December 19th at the Erickson-Anderson Mortuary at 8390 Allison Ave, La Mesa, CA 91942. There will be a viewing held prior to the service at Erickson-Anderson Mortuary at 12PM. Darla will be laid to rest at the Winton Cemetery in Winton, CA next to her late husband.

After the service, Darla’s son David and his wife Darla will host a family and friends gathering for service attendees at their home located at 5722 Lone Star Drive, San Diego, CA 92120.

(David’s Eulogy to his Mother)

Good afternoon everyone. My name is David. I am one of Darla Jean Stanley’s four children, six grandchildren, and five great grandchildren. I believe almost everyone here knew her as a mother, a grandmother, an aunt, or as someone who was a very important part of your life and a friend. Thank you for being here to share this time with us.

Looking back over my mother’s life these last few days the fondest memories I have is just how she loved to laugh and make others laugh. When we would go to family reunions she just loved being with her family and cutting up with her brothers and sisters. It seems there was rarely a time that she wasn’t laughing or smiling. But it wasn’t just there. When I would watch her work at the hot dog store, see her at church, or visiting with people at our house she was always smiling and joking around. It is no surprise that she was voted “Wittiest” in high school. I am sure it was one of the reasons, besides just how pretty she was, that Guy was drawn to her and loved being with her for 38 years. She was like that all the way to the end, even at Julie’s house where she was loved and cared for so deeply. In her limited strength she still loved to sing and dance and clap. She was just a wonderful person to be around.

One thing that always amused me about our mother is that she never learned to swim. I think it’s funny that ever since we moved out here from Cumberland Maryland, with the exception of a couple of years, we always had a pool. Whether it was the pink apartments, an above the ground pool on Bert Crane, or the built-in pool on Station Ave. and Winton Way, there was always water but she had a dreadful fear of swimming. I was so surprised when one day when she finally used a child’s swimming ring (that you saw in the video) and stepped on the bottom of the pool in the shallow end instead of lying on a floating raft.

Although my mom didn’t love being in the water, what she really loved was her ice cream and Snicker bars. I definitely think I got my love for ice cream and Snickers from her. I know that is part of my genetic makeup. When we would go to visit if we weren’t having ice cream at her store then she would bring some home or we would make homemade cream together. Such wonderful memories.

And how she loved chewing gum. My mom never really asked for much but one thing she had to have was her gum. I can still hear her now at home or in the car, “Do you have any gum?” Even at Julie’s house, so much so that it was part of her birthday present and celebration. One of the funniest things that struck my wife was how mom could go through an entire meal and still have her gum in her mouth. I kid you not. It was an amazing feat.

What you might not know either is that she was quite an athlete. She was a star basketball player in high school and voted “Most Athletic” her senior year. She was also a marvelous roller skater. My dad and her won many trophies in their younger years together for pair skating. All of us children learned to skate at a very early age because of her. We loved going to the Atwater roller rink on Friday and Saturday, skating to the “Limbo Rock”. My sisters might remember:

Jack be limbo, Jack be quick

Jack go under the limbo stick,

Don’t move that limbo bar

You’ll be a limbo star

How low can you go?

She made sure we participated in church and Sunday school, boy scouts and girl scouts, little league and baton twirling (not me but I have to admit I liked picking up my sisters baton once in a while), but bowling was a very important part of our activities growing up. We bowled for many years on the Saturday morning leagues but in the evenings we would go to the bowling alley to watch mom bowl in her leagues. She was amazing. She was so graceful and balanced, something that is hard to do if you have ever bowled, but she made it look so easy. She won several trophies and awards including “Women’s High Series”. To this day one of my favorite activities is to go bowling. I think I would break my back though if I gave roller skating another try.

Our mom also loved tradition. If we were visiting during someone’s birthday then it was always tradition to celebrate with a spaghetti dinner served on the special red birthday plate, and of course, followed by an ice cream dessert. The special red plate became part of our family tradition as well.

Aside from her funny side, what you may not know is that our mother was an incredible business woman. In addition to managing a household with four very young children she was the secretary of Atwater bowl for many years handling league schedules, awards, and lessons for new bowlers. After marrying Guy she was the main force behind getting their first very successful business “Guy Stanley Construction” up and running. Other than the physical construction of the building, she handled everything about that business. Just imagine the work that had to go into handling employee payroll, scheduling and paying subtractors, ordering materials for job sites, and still being a mother to her four children. She even served as President of the Women’s Christian Business Organization.

After Guy retired from construction they decided to open “Darla’s Hot Dogs, Ice Cream, and Carmel Corn” at the five corners intersection in Atwater. Her and Guy ran that very successful business for twenty-seven years. I remember telling my mom that I honestly believed she could have been an account executive for a major corporation because of the skills she possessed. I never really appreciated or thought about just how much she accomplished and with only a high School diploma.

Seeing how my mom presented herself both personally and professionally had an undeniable impact on me. Growing up my sisters and I witnessed how hard she worked at home taking care of the house and also managing her work outside the home. Probably a direct consequence of her days picking cotton as just a child on many Texas farms. I know she is the one responsible for my strong work ethic. She always made sure we had our chores to do. I had to clean the horse stalls before and after school and mow the yards. My sisters had to take care of housework and pull weeds in the yard. She made sure that we always made our beds and kept our room clean. I am so grateful to her for that.

I am also thankful that mom was so kind, loving, and welcoming. Any visitors to our home were always greeted with a smile and open arms. Part of her character that has made a significant and lasting impression on me to treat others in the same manner. My wife can talk about how mom made her feel so special and how she welcomed her into the family. She will tell you that she was just an amazing Mother-in-law that always made her feel loved and cherished. She taught us to be kind and respectful to everyone. She made sure we addressed adults as yes ma’am, no ma’am and to always say thank you. She taught us that naughty words were never allowed. I honestly believed I was going to end up down below if I ever uttered a single cuss word and I will never forget the taste of a Zest soap bar. I never once heard a foul word from her mouth. She demonstrated in her own life the values that she wanted us to carry forward.

She demonstrated the values that were important to her outside of our home as well. Not just at home though but wherever we found ourselves. There were many times that we sat in the Hot Dog store watching mom serve others. Always smiling and having a good time and so polite. She had a special place in her heart for the airmen from Castle Air Force base that would come in the store. There were so many regulars from the base and from the town, just because it was one of those places like the old TV series “Cheers” sings about:

Sometimes you want to go where everybody knows your name,

and they’re always glad you came.

And she loved children. I bet there were many parents who probably said to their young ones, “Do you want to go see Aunt Darla and get a hot dog?” The children would come in and she would just spoil them by holding them up to the ice cream bar so they could pick out their favorite ice cream or so they could pick the toppings they would like on their hot dog. She would take them behind the counter so they could fill their own cups with ice and get their soda, the children and mom smiling the whole time. All my boys have such fond and loving memories of going to visit grandma at her house and eating at her hot dog store. It was exactly where my mom was meant to be. I have no doubt in my heart that is why Darla’s Hot Dogs, Ice Cream, and Carmel Corn was able to lovingly serve the town of Atwater for twenty-seven years.

Our mom was loving, kind, thoughtful, generous, smart, and athletic but to me she was just mom. She loved us and took care of us. She made sure we were provided for and that we stayed healthy and safe. She dressed us in our Sunday best for Easter and Christmas and gave us money to put in the offering plate. I never thought much about those things when I was little or ever thought about the influence she would have on so many areas of my life as I got older. I think somehow parents plant unconscious seeds in their children by the way they live their lives. I am so thankful my mom raised us the way she did. She was our mom and I love her for that.

In celebration of our mom I know she would love for you to have a Snickers bar and a pack of gum so in just a few minutes please help yourself to a Snickers and gum found on the special red plates in the back. Please don’t be shy.

Since it's Christmas season I would like to end by sharing this passage mom noted in her bible during the Christmas season of 1993. The passage is from Ephesians chapter 1, verses 5-7.

5 His unchanging plan has always been to adopt us into his own family by bringing us to himself through Jesus Christ. And this gave him great pleasure.

6 So we praise God for the wonderful kindness he has poured out on us because we belong to his dearly loved Son.

7 He is so rich in kindness that he purchased our freedom through the blood of his Son, and our sins are forgiven.

Mom knew she would one day go to be with Jesus, that she would be adopted into the family of God through Jesus Christ. We wanted to end this service with a song celebrating that mom is home in heaven this very minute. She has been made whole and will spend the rest of eternity with Jesus our Lord and Savior. Please stand with me and sing and clap to the song "I'll Fly Away" sung by Reba McIntire in celebration that mom is in paradise now.”