Virginia Bethea Shinholser

Virginia Shinholser, born Virginia Louise Bethea on June 1, 1930 in Fenholloway, Florida, passed away suddenly on the morning of June 29, 2018. She ended her eighty-eight year journey in Baptist Hospital in Jacksonville, Florida, surrounded by loved ones. She was the daughter of Loundis and Melba Bethea.

Virginia was predeceased by her son, Charles Ray Shinholser, Jr. and siblings Carolyn Bethea Croft, L.B. Bethea, Jr., Colin Bethea, and Leon Bethea. She is survived by her husband Charles Ray; four children, Olin Shinholser and wife Brenda; Mark Shinholser and wife Bobbie; Robin Cotchaleovitch and husband John; Melissa Hungerford and husband Don; and daughter-in-law Debbie Shinholser Benninghoff and husband Rick Benninghoff; eleven grandchildren and eighteen great-grandchildren, Steven Shinholser, wife Michelle, and children Cody and Lance; Julie Shinholser Fowler, husband Chris, and children Joshua and Rachel; Ricky Shinholser, wife Holly, and children Easton and Jase; Marty Cotchaleovitch and children Abigail, Benjamin, Olivia, Elizabeth, and Ava; Rebecca Shinholser; Chad Cotchaleovitch and wife Toni; Mandy Shinholser Pagano, husband Tony, and children Joshua and Lara; Thomas Cotchaleovitch, wife Sarah, and children Peter and Ian; Michael Shinholser, wife Sarah, and children Evan and Lilly; Matthew Hungerford, wife Kristin, and Baby Hungerford (due in November); and Ryan Hungerford. Her surviving siblings are Wilson Bethea, Lanell Bethea McKinney, Belvajean Bethea Millinor, Buddy Bethea and wife Catherine, and Janet Bethea Wiles and husband Billy.

Virginia was raised in Perry, Florida, the eldest of 10 children. She graduated salutatorian of her class at Taylor County High School in 1948, all while helping her mother raise her younger siblings. In Perry, she met Charles Ray Shinholser, and the two were married on September 24, 1950.

Charles became a manager and district manager for the A&P, a job which moved the Shinholsers to South Georgia before they settled in Jacksonville, Florida in 1967. They started their family in 1952 when son Olin was born, followed by Mark, Robin, Ray, and Lissa.

Virginia stayed at home while Charles worked, raising the children and running the household. She gardened both flowers and vegetables on the two-acre property where they moved in 1967 and where Charles still resides. She served on the PTA, as the volunteer nurse, and as a homeroom mom at her children's elementary school. She was active in her church, teaching two- and three-year-olds for 30 years. She personally ministered to others throughout her life with thoughtful cards sent to every church member or loved one who was sick, hospitalized, or grieving or celebrating a birthday or anniversary. Church memberships included Wesconnett Church of Christ in Jacksonville and Lakeside Church of Christ in Orange Park.

Virginia's children grew up, married, had children of their own (and from then on she and Charles became known as Mema and Pepa), and pursued their different careers. Their eldest son Olin is a Senior Circuit Judge in Sebring, Florida. Daughter Robin has been an executive assistant for several companies, both in Jacksonville and Central Florida. Daughter Lissa has worked in human resources as manager in several companies in Jacksonville. Sons Mark and Ray both became police officers for the Jacksonville Sheriff's Office, Mark retiring as a sergeant after 35 years. In December 1988, Ray was killed in a motorcycle accident while on duty. After the shattering loss of their youngest son, Charles and Virginia turned their tragedy into one of the greatest blessings for law enforcement officers and their families in Northeast Florida.

After attending the National Law Enforcement Officers Memorial groundbreaking in 1989 and dedication in 1991 and paying for these trips to Washington D.C. themselves, Charles and Virginia were instrumental in starting a Northeast Florida Chapter of Concerns of Police Survivors in1998. C.O.P.S. makes sure that the surviving families of fallen police officers are able to travel to D.C. to see their loved ones' names on the wall—but that is just the start. C.O.P.S. offers retreats for parents and family members of fallen officers, furnishes resources to rebuild the lives of families of officers killed in the line of duty, and throws an annual Christmas party for the surviving families. Charles has been Executive Director of the Northeast Florida Chapter since inception, and he and Virginia were in the midst of planning four benefit concerts, to be performed by the River City Men's and Women's Choruses in July, at the time of Virginia's unexpected death.

Along with attending C.O.P.S. functions for nearly thirty years, Virginia remained active in her church community and family life. After Charles's retirement, she and Charles worked part-time for Volume Services at the old Coliseum and Gator Bowl, later Veteran's Memorial Arena and Jaguars Stadium. Here, Mema created lifelong friendships and collected Jaguars merchandise to shower upon kids, grands, and great-grands every Christmas.

Charles and Virginia's home always was and will be open to anyone in need, both Virginia and Charles welcoming all with Christ-like hospitality. One example is when they welcomed four Sudanese refugees to join the family for Christmas dinner and fellowship in 2005. But when friends and family weren't congregating at their home, the couple kept busy, often traveling for C.O.P.S. memorials, retreats, and functions, church trips, visiting family (in and out of town), and attending extracurricular events for their grandchildren and great-grandchildren. Every minute of Virginia's eighty-eight years was spent in serving others, and those whose lives she touched are stricken by this great loss.

Virginia was always active. The captain of her high school basketball team and catcher for her high school softball team, she continued to share her active lifestyle with daughter Lissa, who played softball, and her grandchildren, who grew up playing ball with her at her home. She also loved dominoes and never lost a game of Chinese checkers.

It wasn't until much later in life that Virginia ever experienced any health problems, and even then, she was unwilling to let any ailment slow her down. This is evidenced in the many visitors who came to see her in the hospital and were blessed by her continued hospitality from a hospital bed. In 2006, Virginia was hospitalized for 40 days after heart valve repair, and although the family was afraid of losing her then, she was determined to live until 100.

Virginia loved to read, and this extended to her Bible most of all. So it is appropriate to say that she embodied the characteristics of the virtuous woman, as found in selected verses from Proverbs 31: "[F]or her price is far above rubies. The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil. She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life […] Strength and honor are her clothing; and she shall rejoice in time to come. She openeth her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue is the law of kindness. She looketh well to the ways of her household, and eateth not the bread of idleness. Her children arise up, and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praiseth her."

She was a fierce woman in her convictions and opinions, her hair washing (just ask her grandchildren), her dogged determination to pronounce words the way she wanted to ("damaters"/tomatoes, "Hiwarya"/Hawaii, "pillars"/pillows, "yeller"/yellow), and the love of her family. She never wanted to miss a phone call, even if it meant answering while "nekkid as a jaybird." She never met a styrofoam cup that couldn't be washed and reused. She was a closet hoarder. Literally. You should see her closets. She was respected and obeyed by her children, grandchildren, and great-grandchildren. Her daughters could not have asked for a better friend and shopping companion. Her children, grandchildren, and great-grandchildren couldn't have had a better advocate. Anyone who got a tattoo was pronounced "crazy and relapsed" (true story). But Mema's fierceness was evidenced most in her fight to live. Until hours before her passing from this world to the next, none of her family knew how hard her body had fought to survive the scar tissue that resulted from the removal of colon cancer in late 2012.

Everyone who knew Virginia knew her as a part of a two-person unit. Whether you knew them as Charles-and-Virginia, Mama-and-Daddy, or Mema-and-Pepa, they did almost everything together, and he never left her side during the last week of her life. But Pepa does love to hunt or is sometimes called away on C.O.P.S. business, and during those times, Mema did not sit idly at home. She was always ready for the next adventure, including one memorable afternoon in which she went to the wrong theatre and watched a movie in its entirety while the family searched for her, scared half to death.

Pepa will miss his second set of ears, his walking partner at the mall, and his steadfast companion. The rest of the family will miss hearing her get on to him ("Hey! Charles Ray!"). We cannot fathom life without the glue that holds our family together, but we take comfort in the words she spoke to two of her great-grandchildren the night before she died: she told them she would see them after surgery, but if this was it, then she had lived a good long life and was thankful for everything. (She also stated that Pepa's middle name was Impatient.)

Visitation will be held on Friday, July 6th from 5:00 to 8:00 P.M. at the Hardage-Giddens Funeral Home at 729 Edgewood Avenue South, Jacksonville, Florida 32205. The public is also invited to a funeral at Lakeside Church of Christ, 2539 Moody Avenue, Orange Park, Florida 32073 on Saturday, July 7th at 11:00 A.M., followed by the burial beside her son Ray at Riverside Memorial Park. A reception of remembrance will follow in the church fellowship hall. Pallbearers will be Mema and Pepa's eight grandsons: Steven (in absentia) and Ricky Shinholser, Marty, Chad, and Thomas Cotchaleovitch, Michael Shinholser, and Matthew and Ryan Hungerford.

In lieu of flowers, the family requests that donations be sent to Concerns of Police Survivors, Northeast Florida Chapter, 5530 Beach Boulevard, Jacksonville, Florida 32207.