Happy Birthday my sweet Ryan! You would be 41 today. I think of you all the time and what you helped me with. Do you remember what I asked you?  You answered me. 

Love you always

Think of you daily ! miss you my brother 🙌🏽

I miss you so much. I often wonder what it would be like if you were here...I love you forever...


Goodbye sweetheart. I love you tremendously Ryan. I cannot wait until I see you again. You were truly a great son - I hope you know how much joy you always brought me - yes even through the hard times. You continue to bring smiles to me all the time through your unbelievable signs that you send me. Until I see you again baby, all my love to you.
Mom

Here it is January 2013 and I just found out about this terrible tragedy. I just saw Barbara at our dear friend's funeral, Susan Cochran, and she asked if I would sign the guest book as the days are now numbered before the guest book is no longer  available (on line).  The book may indeed not be "at-hand" but the memory of this WONDERFUL SHORT LIFE will always be in ALL of our hearts ......Today and forever,....to the "Moon and Back".  Barbara gave me a big hug when she told me about her loss but at the same time her hug is a symbol of her everlasting love for Ryan.
Love and sweet memories to the family,  Judi Jordan (Barbara and I worked together at SWD - years ago.)

I miss you Ryan...more than i could have ever thought or have ever felt. Knowing you are around me and having that confirmed is reassuring...at times...i LOVE you and i just know i will see you again...and we will for once be close again...

I have so many memories of Ryan and I growing up together.  We met in 3rd grade when I moved to Jacksonville and instantly clicked in Mrs. Jones class.  We had some good times together: playing video games, watching movies, sleepovers (even though we would stay up all night), collecting baseball cards, playing football and basketball, and much more.   I remember the times going over to the JCA to play as well as riding our bikes or walking down to the Jiffy to get a Coke or a Slurpee.  Needless to say, I have many memories of us growing up together and I will always remember you as my best friend during that period of my life.  Unfortunately, we both moved and went our own ways.  However, if we saw each other then I am sure we would pick up where we left off.   Your life was taken too soon, my friend.  May you rest in peace and watch over your family.

Ryan, Your Mom and I talk about you so much now. She has told me how you send messages to her. Your spirit will always be with her. It will always be with me ,also, because your mother is my dear friend, I knew you, heard so many stories about you when you were younger. You left us on my birthday which is a comfort to your Mom. I wouldn't forget you, but even more so every Dec 20th. I know it's wonderful where you are.

Hey again honey,
I have again, "One last entry" to you Ryan. Please embrace my friend Susan that has joined you up there in Heaven just today. I know you will look out for her and take extra special care of her. She was there with me and greeted you into the world when you arrived on that magnificent day of November 7,1980. As you well know, God has a new TRUE angel. God bless you honey, Susan and Nicole. It's hard to believe that both of them signed your guest book here when you died, and they have already joined you. Thank you sweetheart. I love you and miss you Ryan so very very much- every moment of every day baby - with all my heart and soul. Give my special sweet friend the "red carpet treatment"!! We all miss her so much here.
Love you sweetheart
Mom

It has been a little over two years now, and I can still see my tears through the rain. Tears of happiness, love, and joy from the blessing i received to have you as my brother. I think about you constantly, day after day, wishing you were here with us. The guidance, and love you showed me those 17 years was enough to last me a life time, and that is something that will stay with me in my heart forever. I cant believe I'm 20 now, which means you are 32,(you old man LOL)it's incredible how time flies. Remember when we would hit those workouts and do a run around the lake. Or when you dressed up in that Santa outfit for mommas Christmas Party. I always thought you would make a great Santa. I miss the times when we would play Madden together for hours, talking smack to each other and hearing momma say "cut it out boys". I miss your hugs, your smile, your voice, your laughs. I miss you. These tears on my keyboard are for you. I want my brother, my best friend back. But I do know i will get to see you again in Heaven. I feel you with me every day, keeping me strong and making me a good young man. I smile every time I see a picture of you. Your smile seems to make us all smile. Your jokes and funny saying still pass through my head making me laugh throughout the day. 

The other day Mom and I were riding in her car and she told her cell phone to "Call Home" the Voice Recognition from the cell phone responded with "Did You Say Call Ryan Deaton" Mom and both looked at each other in shock and then smiled knowing it was another sign from you. I honestly cannot wait until I get to see you again Brother. You will always have a place in my heart and will be thought of every single day until I get to see you again. I will tell my future family all about you. I will keep your spirit alive for as long as live. I Love you so much, and may you Rest In Peace Forever. Love You Brother, Bestfriend, Hero

-Love Your Littler Brother
Chris.

Ryan, I just wanted to say thank you...thank you...thank you... for bringing your Mom and Me together.  We both know for sure that it was you.  You knew better than anyone she needed as many friends around her as possible.  I wish I had known you but I feel like I do now because of all the stories your Mom has told me about you!! Keep sending her all your messages because she truely needs them.  I know you were a special person because of who your Mom is!!  I have met your brother and he just couldnt be a nicer guy and Tony is a great guy and I know they will be there for her.  I am glad I can be there too for her to talk to when she needs it. I know I just love having her in my life too! Thanks again Ryan!!! Love Beverly Farnham...Beba!

Dear Ryan, You will always be in my heart Ryan you were just a little baby when I met your mom and uncle Bradford you  were so adorable so cute  you had the cutest little smile I started watching you Nicole was just your age and you to played  so well together you use to lay on the couch with your blankets and watch fragle rock .and laugh together mommie could not get enough of you and you were close with your uncle Bradford she loved you dearly just as she does Chris everybody misses you everybody hurts the last time I saw you was art Gaylord palms resort you read your poems and made us all so proud you left a footprint in my heart RYAN …Nicole is in heaven with you now take care of each other as you did when you were little you are our angels god bless the hearts of our little angels you are always in my heart mom and I will try and smile through our tears…I LOVE AND MISS YOU SO MUCH RYAN AS I DO MY LIL NICOLE …. I am blowing a big kiss and hug up to heaven….love Eileen and Nick

Hi sweetheart,
This is my final "goodbye"  to you here on this website, but never in my heart. I will never say goodbye to you. You live in my heart every day. You are always with me Ryan. I feel your presence in everything I do and everywhere I go.  You left a hole in the three of us here that nothing can fill. I know you didn't do it on purpose. It was God who wanted you when he took you and He chose everything that happened to you during your life for a special reason.  We will not know what that is until we join you and God in Heaven. I will always feel so honored that God chose me to by yours and Christopher's mom. There isn't a thing in my life that I have ever felt more proud of.  You were such a great son in every way honey. You did things all of your own idea for other people that the majority of young men your age would never have done or even thought to do.  You were just that way. You had that inner beauty that your grandmother had. You were so much like her. Very few people that I have ever met in my life have that much kindness.  Not to say that you couldn't be mischievous too. I remember everything about you darlin from the time you were born until you left us. I remember when it was just you and I for so many years, and I would rock you in your room in with just the little dim Winnie the Pooh lamp on after you had your bath and bottle. Having all the money in the world couldn't have compared to the majestic way I felt when I held you. You loved so much when I used to ride you on the back of my bike when you were just a year old, and then when you got older, I would walk after dinner, and you would ride your bike next to me.  We did everything together - you were my best friend - my heart and my soul sweetheart. I felt like I would die when Rich left me at the same time when mom died. But when I had you, you made everything in the world so wonderful. I miss hearing your voice and our long conversations. I listen to the message you left on Heather's phone practically daily. I am so thankful to her for giving that to me.  I miss watching you do funny  things just because you knew they would make me laugh.  I miss you reading all of your poems to me. I still haven't been able to go through them. I will though one day, soon I hope. I miss seeing you with Chris playing yawl's games together. He misses you so much Ryan. He truly adored you, as I know you did him. It's hard to walk in here in this room watching him play his games alone, without you in the chair beside him playing with him, and hearing yawl laugh about who missed a play. I miss hearing the two of you tease each other  about each others teams ( the Gators and Seminoles). I miss seeing yawl wrestle around and you putting Chris in a headlock and yawl laughing real loud and calling each other a chump. I miss seeing yawl work out together. I miss seeing you in your hoodie eating cereal when I would walk in the dining room. Tony and I both  miss  so much you watching Wheel of Fortune with us at night, and always beating us!! (The footprints in the Sand poem was UNREAL Ryan two days after I got my footprints heart for your ashes in the mail). PERFECT TIMING AGAIN - We loved that one honey!!!  I go in your room every morning and open the blinds, and at night to close them. I can always see you lying there on your bed reading by the bed light, and looking up at me and telling me goodnight and giving me a kiss and telling me that  you love me and will see me in the morning. I miss your hugs and kisses sooo much.  I miss hearing you yell from the shower asking me to put you a clean towel on the doorknob that you always  forgot to get. I REALLY miss hearing you  yell from another room "MOM?"  There are a thousand things that I could say that I miss about you honey. You were such a funny  and loveable little boy and the same as a grown man.  I would give absolutely anything in the world to have another chance at having you back in life to start over. I would work so much harder at making your life better.   Thank you so much baby for reaching out to me so regularly to assure me of your peace and happiness now. Because of all of your messages to me, I am able to rest easier, knowing that you are okay. It doesn't take away how much we all miss you, but your messages do give me so much comfort, because each of them are so very different and always sweet and happy signs to me.  I know that you talk to us the way you do because you know so well that I couldn't have survived losing you without your crystal clear messages that you so generously and frequently send. They all just totally amaze me. You send me so many that I have started a diary of all of your messages. They are truly so incredibly beautiful. I told Tony and Chris that it's just like we are always talking like we used to, only in a different way now. Only you Ryan. Only you sweetheart would have been as caring and thoughtful to keep talking to me the way you have for the past two years. Please don't ever stop.  I always wait with anxiousness wondering what the next one is going to be. This last one was sooooooooooooo great!! - I wasn't at all surprised though, because that's just the way you send them to me. The snow globe on the front door handle when we got home the next day. NO ONE knows who put it there. I've asked EVERYONE, and I know for sure that they are all telling me the truth. I hadn't even told anyone about asking you if you could pull any strings for us and let us have snow. Hadn't mentioned that to a soul!!!!.The snow in New York was the icing on the cake. All of the weather reports just the very night before it snowed said  "no snow at all in the forecast". After asking you and talking to you about it for probably a month before we went there,  and the very next day walking through Central Park and having the snow come down like it did was soooooooooo beautiful and just absolutely amazing. Tony and Chris and I all looked at each other and thanked you right then. We knew you were with us throughout our entire trip, just like you are everywhere every day. If I ever thought I could possibly love you any more Ryan, I would have said no. After your death, you continue to bring me the same sweet love that you always did when you were alive. I love you more every day baby. Sometimes I tell people about the messages you send me, and I can tell they don't "get it". They don't "feel it". I really can't expect them to because they have never lost a child, especially a son like you!!!, and experienced what the three of us have with you. I was just this week talking to an old friend that lost a child, and she understood EVERYTHING that I was telling her without even trying. Those of us that have had to walk the most feared and dreaded place in the world understand instantly. I am so sorry for anyone that has been here, but grateful when I am able to talk to someone who understands. It's like talking to someone in a foreign language that no one else understands. Please give Nicole a hug and a kiss from me and Eileen Ryan. You know how devastated she has been. Our bond of friendship and love has grown even stronger since we have both lost our beautiful children. I know you and Nicole are together now.  It's unreal how your death sweetheart has brought so many wonderful new friendships to me and rekindled so many old ones.  I tell everyone though that you are behind it all, still looking out after your mom. You've done it even in your death Ryan. When I was talking to my friend this week, she commented on how amazing it is that we can communicate with you after you have left the earth the way we do. I would have never dreamed it possible if I hadn't witnessed it myself. Ryan, please give mom, dad and Jimmy a great big kiss from me and tell them how much I love them and miss them.  I will close this for now baby. I'm hoping it isn't too long for them to post. Until that wonderful day sweetheart when I see you again, please keep your messages always coming.  I am blowing you a kiss. Please hold onto it and keep it in your heart. I will give you another one when I see you.  God Bless you Ryan, and thanks a million times "little Green sport"  "little codger" (does dad still call you that up there in Heaven?:):) for letting me be the special girl that became your mom.

My dear Ryan, although I did not have the honor of knowing you personally, I feel that you are close to me through your Mother.  Your Mom is truly one of the kindest and sweetest people I know.  From all of her stories and shared memories, it is obvious that her goodness has been passed on to you.  I am so sorry I did not have the chance to get to know you one on one.  You truly are a blessing to your family.  I pray that you are at peace.

Ryan, it has been a very long time! I have thought about you so many times over the last 2 years and wondered what if? You are very missed and loved by so many. It is never fair when someone so young and caring is ripped from our lives; it is something we will never understand! What we do know is how blessed we are to have known you and had our lives made better because you were in it! I still look at my daughter and think of the many nights you read her books before she went to bed it was the cutest thing I have ever seen and just goes to show how huge your heart was! You were an amazing person and my life was made better because you were in it! I have always and will always love you Ryan! My heart goes out to your family still as I can't imagine the pain they feel with the absence of you everyday! Especially Chris I know you absolutely adored him! You were an amazing person Ryan!!!!

Ryan was loved SOOO much by his mother and family! I knew Ryan as a child, we use to play together and we also spent time together as adults at family gatherings. He is thought of often and will forever be greatly missed by all. (But most of all by his very loving and always understanding mom, Barbara.) Not everyone is born into this harsh world to a mother w/ unwavering love and a heart full of underdstanding and forgiviness as Ryan and I were. Ryan was blessed to have the mother that he has, as am I!
All My Love,
Alison McCart and family

Dear Ryan,
It's very hard to believe two years have gone by without you.  You are still so loved and missed and always will be.  One day we'll come full circle, sweetheart, and all be together again.
Love you,
Robin

Hi there Ryan, Barbara emailed me yesterday that she was going to remove the Guest Book and have it leather bound.  I wanted to take a moment to say how much we still miss you all the time.  Even Matthew remembers when you came to live with us and when i reminded him last month it was the anniversary of your passing he started crying.  I told him, "Don't cry Matt, Ryan is looking down on you from heaven in peace and smiling at you RIGHT THIS SECOND.  He sends us signs all of the time that he is okay, at peace and finally safe.  And one day we will see him again".  That calmed him dowwn Ryan.  I miss your radiant smile, the way you would go out of your way to spend time with "brother" and what a sweet, respectful kid you were.  Do you remember when you were about 2 years old and you, Barbara and I shared an apartment in Orlando?  We would pick you up from day care and if ANY school bus or big truck passed us you would point and say, "big truck mommy",,,big truck uncle bradford",,,,,lol,,,,,I love you so much buddy and will see you up there when God decides to reunite us.  Take care!!

Uncle Bradford and Cousin Matthew

Ryan it just seems like you were here yesterday, unbelievable that it has been over two years. I would not be surprised if you just walked into the house as if nothing had happened. Although who am I to understand God's plans, your leaving has left a big hole in the family. I will never understand the reasons or circumstances that guided your life. All I know for sure was that you were a loving thoughful caring person who I miss and wish you were back in our lifes. From knowing you I feel that I am a richer person, take care till I see you again......................love....tony

Our thoughts, our prayers and our love go out to you all.  I pray that you will have a quiet, peaceful, beautiful memory forever in your hearts just knowing that you have held, hugged and loved a handsome son and brother.  Much love to you Barbara, Toni and Chris.  YOU ALL are in our hearts and prayers.  Jack and Tedie Ann

Ryan, though we never met, I've gotten to know your beautiful heart through your very loving Mom.  She loved your spirit so much that she glows whenever she speaks of you.  Your absence is noticed every moment of every day, but the love you left on this earth will carry her until you meet again.

Matthew 11:28- "Come unto Me, all ye that labor and are heavy-laden, and I will give you rest." 

In Christ,

Barbara,
Thinking of you and sending an angel your way. 
I was so blown away by Ryan's beautiful eulogy.
Thanks so much for sending it to me and his photos. What an adorable little boy...so cute...so precious. I think about you and your family every day.  
I am here for you...just let me know.
~Becky

Dear Ryan,
Your mother has told me several times about a flower holder that you gave to her for a MOther's Day gift in May, 2009,  that she absolutely cherishes. She told me that when you first gave it to her, she called it used it as a "flower holder", with hooks on each end for flower pots. She later decided to use it to decorate her front yard with every season of the year, even including the Super Bowl. She has so much fun with it. She uses it for Superbowl, Valentines, St Patrick's Day, Easter,Memorial Day, July 4th, Haolloween, Thanksgibing, Christmas and so on. She told me that you always gave her unique gifts "out of the box'", and chose them very carefully. Being that since you went and picked this yourself, and it was a Mother's Day gift, anything could have been special to her, but this particular gift that she speaks of often, and sends us pictures of at every different season/holiday, is really really special to her. I see all of the pictures of how she deocrates it for all the different season. It is amazing and beautiful what she does with it.  Well, after talking to her about it, and listening to her describe it, and then seeing pictures of it, I told your mother that what you gave her is actualy called a "Shepherd's Hook", and that You Ryan are the Shepherd looking after his flock, your family. Your momther now loves it and cherishes it even morew knowing this. I am sure that you can look down and see how much she always is enjoying it, and has so beautifully decorated it for The Superbowl and now for Valentines. Thank you Ryan !!!! - You're an angel!!!

Ryan,
I remember you playing and wrestling around with me when I was younger. You were always so much fun to me when you were at our house, and you were always such a great guy to everybody. I'm here for a few days at your house at Aunt Barbara's and Uncle Tony's Superbowl Party. Chris and I and your parents talked so much about you and went to visit your sight that your family calls "Ryan's Place". I wish you were still here because we all miss you and love you. The Superbowl Party would have been perfect if you had been here. I'll see you in Heaven Ryan.
Love Always,
Your Cousin Matthew.

Hey baby,
Today was a year anniversary that was very hard to deal with, but as usual, when I need you, you're always there. You never stop amazing me Ryan. Even in your death, you are there when I need you to console me. I never in a million years would have dreamed anything could be so real as you have come to me in such beautiful and mystical ways. If I had not witnessed myself, your "visits" that you so sweetly bring to me, when you know I need them the most, they would definitely be hard to understand, had they just been told to me. I have never experienced anything even close to this before, and don't ever expect that I will again. I know that it is becasue of the incredibly beautiful person you are and the bond and relationship that we shared. I would never wish any mother to have to endure the pain of losing a child she loved like I do you. In my guilt, I do have to admit that I have questioned God for taking you, when I know there are so many others that couldn't possibly love the way I love and miss you. I know that is very selfish of me to think that way. I just miss you beyond the definition of anything I can think of to describe. We didn't have a lot when you were growing up, but I was always certain of one thing that was real and all that I needed, and that was you baby. I always felt like we were happy and our love was unmatched by anyones. I don't understand why you had to be stricken with the disease that you had, which took your life. Chris and Tony also miss you so much. Your brother is the sweet loving son that he is to me, so much becuase of the influence you had on him. He  looks out for me just like you alwyas did. We talk about you constantly and laugh so much about certain things you always said and did.  If I could only see your beautiful smile one more time, and hear your voice, and feel your hug. I will see you again sweetheart. That I know for sure. I don't think I could get through if I didn't know that.   I love you Ryan. Happy New Years honey. Mom

Who said nothing lasts forever? I can be the first to say thats not true, because my love for you will always be there. I always thought people exagerated when they said they think about someone they've lost everyday. I thought wrong because I think about you constantly,EVERY SINGLE DAY. It's hard to grasp that it's already been an entire year since you've passed. Although I've had lots and lots of people around me that cared and helped me through it. Especially being so close to christmas it's been extremely hard to deal with the situation, but i know your here with me, you chump doggy hahahah. I cant thank you enough for being my hero and an amazing brother. I feel so privliged to have been blessed with such a caring, loving, and hilarious man that i was lucky enough to get to call my brother. No one or thing will ever be able to take away from all the memories and times that we share. I cant wait for that day when we can play some madden so i can kick your butt again :) I LOVE YOU SO MUCH MAN. I keep hitting these workouts hard for ya with those being pounded into my head that you used to always say "Come on lets get it!" "One more, alright now another one!" You've shaped me into a pretty cool kid. Only because your such a beautiful person. LOVE YOU BROTHER HAPPY HOLIDAYS AGAIN :) TELL EVERYONE HEY. 

P.S. I WANNA TELL YOU I LOVE YOU AGAIN AND YOUR THE BEST PERSON TO HAVE BEEN MY BROTHER. LOVE YOU

Ryan,
Although it has been a year, I still expect you to be walking through the door any day. It does not seem right that you are gone. It is hard to reconcile that you are no longer with us. I know you are still with us in some way and thankful for that. You are loved and missed and will be forever in our thoughts. One day we will all be togeather again....miss you with all my love   Tony

Hi sweetheart,
It's me again, mom, or as you used to call me, your favorite girl. I just wanted to leave you one final message here before this guest book is removed. We have actually made it here for a full year now without you. On some days I really wondered if it would happen, but it did. You can't even begin to imagine how hard it has been here without you. Dad and Chris and I all miss you terribly. We talk about you constantly, and about your funny ways that you used to have us laughing, things you said and things you did.If only you would have known everything that you meant to all of us. None of us realized how you were struggling Ryan. You had a disease that you couldn't go get a shot for, or a prescription. I believe that you had a worse disease than most, becasue pople including myself told you to "just stop it". I had no idea darlin - none whatsoever. Poor Chris, he has struggled at times. I felt so bad for him on the night of our Christmas party after we said a prayer for you and a couple other children that died way sooner than they should have,like you. Chris went and locked himself in the bedroom he was so upset. He misses you terribly. You were his best friend. Yesterday marked the one year anniversary of your death. It was an extremely hard day to get through for the three of us to say the least. I slept almost the entire day. Didn't feel like talking to a single soul. I never knew I could miss someone as much as I have you. I really do look forward so so very much to the day when I will be able to see your beautiful smile again. Until that day though Ryan, please continue to send me the incredible signs that are so beautiful that you send me. Please watch down over us and hold us near to you. I will tell you again, I am so very grateful that God chose me as the lucky lady to be your mother.You were an awesome son - I wouldn't have changed a thing about you, except to be able to keep you longer. I love you Ryan. Give mom, dad and Jimmy a big kiss from me. I am so thankful to know that they were there to greet you when you arrived in Heaven. And until I arrive, save a spot for the three of us, right next to you baby.I will love you forever and ever sweetheart.
Mom

I miss you Ryan. A year ago our plan changed and still the reality of it is oh so difficult...It's going to be so surreal when we meet again, i just know it!!! I love you....

Dear Ryan,
It's hard to believe you've already been gone for a year.  I have to agree with my sister that your Mother is one heck of a woman and as you know she misses you so much.  Her Christmas party this year without you was I'm sure one of the hardest things she's endured but she handled it with grace and dignity and I know you are as proud of her as she is of you.  Please know how much you are loved and missed.  Until we meet again...........
Robin

Ryan,
You would have been so proud of your Mother at her Christmas party this year. She said a beautiful prayer for you and all the others who have left this world too early. Your mother and family are special people as you know. I hope you have enjoyed getting to know your grandmother in heaven. Your mother is so much like her! It has been a long and short year for your family. They have handled themselves with grace and dignity. They miss you and will love you always. 
Angela

Ryan,
   The memories that we shared will always be in my thoughts and heart. We did a lot of crazy things but they were all great times I shared with you. I will miss your goofy laugh and your crazy idea's that always got us into something. Don't worry Bro I know you are smiling down on all of us!!! Until we meet again brother. One....... (Matt)

Barbara, (So sorry it took me so long to post here.)  You and I go back to the time before you had Ryan.  We worked together in those days of SWD almost side by side every day.  We listened to each other's day to day life stories and talked each other through a lot of interesting times in our life.  I watched you carry Ryan during your pregnancy and during the time of your Mother's illness.  You are and were one of the sweetest persons I have ever known.  You were specially chosen to be Ryan's Mother, I know.  He was an absolutely adoring, sweet, beautiful baby and the center of your life.  He WAS your life.  He was your gift from God, and you were his.  Nothing can replace the special bond that the two of you had and the years you were together "against the world" alone.  But those memories are still with you every moment of every day for the rest of your life.  He will always be with you, in your heart.  He must have been very proud to call you his Mother.  Almost, I'm sure, as proud as your were to call him your Son.  Love > to someone who has more love to give than most. Elizabeth (Bea) G. Deaux.

I remember you Ryan as a sweet little boy that was one year older than my first daughter.  You and your mom would come over to visit.  I always thought you were such an adorable little boy.  Looked so much like your beautiful mom.  

Your Mom and I met back in 1972.  Worked together off and on for about 10 years.  We were very close friends even during the times we were not working together.  We were the kind of friends that have always been able to pick up where we left off and not even skip a beat.  

Years went by Ryan and we were out of touch w/one another.  Until October of 2010.  God put us together again.  Your mom called me at the same time I had pulled out a Christmas card I had recieved from her the year before w/her phone number on it.  I had that card out and was going to call her but she beat me to the phone.  We met for lunch and got caught up on both of our families and each other.  What a wonderful and happy reunion that was.  We communicated through e-mail a little bit and then in December I got a phone call from one of her friends telling me of your death.  It just really seemed unreal and surreal.  I knew then God reunited us for a reason.
I thought maybe the reason was to maybe help your mom through an incredible devastating part of her life.  But I found out real quick that wasn't the reason.  I think it was to finally meet you after all of these years.  Because after reading everything and listening to your mom talk about you.  I really do feel like I know you as a young adult.  This is the Ryan I know now.  You are warm, kind, generous, considerate, fun, great sense of humor, dedicated, strong, smart & intelligent.  You loved your family.  You loved and respected your mom and your brother beyond words.  This is the Ryan I know now just through your mom's words and the sweet pictures of you and your family.  

I think God wanted to show something through you and your family and I think He did.  Through words & pictures LOVE was shown and felt in a mighty way.  I cried w/your mom while reading her words.  I felt her pain through her words.  I got to know her son and her best friend for so many years through her words.  I now know you Ryan.  And when I see you again in heaven I will recognize you.  You were an incredible person & friend to all you met.  You were a big brother that taught his little brother alot about life & about family & love.  You were a son that loved and adored his mother.  

Ryan I am so glad I got to meet you as an adult.  God taught me alot through the love you and your family shared.

Continue to protect and love your family from heaven as the angel that you are.  

God Bless you and your sweet family.

Sandi Hicks

Dear Ryan-
 I met your Mom in 1972 when we were teenagers. We were friends for a short while until she moved out of town in 1975, and went our separate ways. She just came back into my life this past September and I'm so thankful for that. I just want you to know I wish I had gotten the chance to meet you. Your Mom speaks about you often, so I know you were a good son to her and your Dad, and also a great brother to Chris. You have touched so many lives and now you're touching mine, and I didn't even get to know you. Each day your family will get stronger and your life will be celebrated, not mourned. You will never be forgotten and your memory will live on in your family's hearts forever. Watch over your family from heaven until the day when you all meet again.

Happy Birthday my sweet nephew!!  I miss you and think about you all the time.  You will always be in my heart.  Love,  Aunt Gwen

Hi sweetheart and Happy Brithday. This is a very sad and hard birthday of yours for all of us here. I woke up in my bed this morning crying looking up at your picture on my mirror. It feels so sad and strange knowing that I won't hear your voice today to wish you a happy birthday -this is the first time in 31 years. I remember this day so well, 31 years ago when the dr. called me at 10:00 in the morning, and told me to come into Riverside Hospital, that they wanted to take my baby by caesarean section. I was scared and so happy that I would finally see my baby and find out what I was having. Mom had died 15 days before. I was home alone and called dad and Bradford at work to tell them. The dr. told me when I took you in for your one week checkup, that they had not expected you to live more than an hour or so after being born.  Dr. Gabertan was present during your delivery and quickly carried you out of there to run extensive tests on you. YOu DID live and what an incredible beautiful gift you were to me from God!!!!! I willnever forget the first time I saw you when they brought you into me in the little incubator you were in. Your eyes were wide open and you looked all the way across the room right at me, as if to say "Hey mom". I was expecting your eyes to be closed, so this really surpirsed me. YOu were already "with it", wanting to know what was going on. hhheeee - When the nurse took you out and handed you to me, as I held you in my arms, the first thought that went through my head was, "How can anyone not belive in God?". This beautiful baby of mine is a true miracle from Him". You were absolutely the most beautiful thing I had ever seen in my life. I had never felt love before the way I felt at that moment. I woke up this morning at 12:25 and looked over at my clock and wished you a Happy Birthday. You are my sweet angel. I was in Publix last night grocery shopping, and I walked over to the birthday cards. I read three of them for a son trying to decide which one I would have bought for you. I miss you horribly every day. 
At the great suggestion of a wonderful friend this morning,  I will make chicken cacciatore for dinner tonight since this was your favorite meal and what you always requested for your birthday dinner. We will also have birthday cake left over from my birthday that I put in the freezer.  I am so happy that she suggested this, because I know that you would have really liked this idea, and I'm sure that you already do. I know that you will be sitting in your chair while we eat tonight, because you are always with us darlin.  I also know EXACTLY what you would be saying to me right now, "There you go mom, that's my girl" with a big smile on your face as you lean over to kiss my cheek. This will help me to get through this day easier. I love you so much Ryan. I don't think you or anyone else knows the happiness and love that you always brought to me, even during the hard and sad times we had. Thank you sweetheart for being MY child.Until I see you again, please watch over us all and pray for us. I love you baby and can't wait till the day that I will see you again.
Mom

My prayers are with you during this calling  from God. Ryan will be in our hearts forever, and if you believe in God you know we will all be together again as family in his House. You will see Ryan again. :) 
                                          Jim O'Brien Jacksonville,Fl

Ryan,
Hello my f riend, my brother, I love you and miss you dearly. What I want to say to you bro, there really arent too many words for, only actions in who and what we were to one another. Ryan, we both shared some tough times and also some really great times in a rough situation, and from that, we built a great bond, friendship and brotherly love for one another. It hurts me bad that you're now gone. I know that you're still here in spirit with me, and while that brings me a certain type of happiness, I must admit that it's just not the same as talking with you, sharing with you and wrestling around with you. There is no inter-action and I miss that. It saddens me to know I'll never be able to do these things with  you again, well not until that special day that we will meet again. Ryan, you were a unique person with a very different character than I've ever known with anyone else, and we vibed on such a different level. I know you were the most gentle man I've ever met, and I mean that in the most positive , greatest way bro. The way I was raised, it wasn't a good thing for a man to be gentle and kind, but with you, it was so natural, and your spirit always was, and you were all the better man for it. You were so easy to approach, talk to, befriend and love. I just really related with you and enjoyed sharing a part of my life with you. You wrote on the back of a picture of yourself that you gave me before you left here, that you couldn't wait till we were both out, and we could chill together. You also wrote on that picture, that I was one of the most "real people" you have ever met, and that you were a better person for having known me. Ryan, bro, that couldn't have ever been and still is true of how I feel about you!. I love you Ryan, and until we meet again, I'll honor your name and always keep it real. I will check in on your mom and be the best brother I can be to Chris. I can't do much while I'm still down, but when I get out of here, I give you my word on these things bro. I'm going to close on that brother. I'm out!
Love Always, Your brother Ronnie

I THINK ABOUT YOU EVERY DAY, I HAVE DREAMS ABOUT YOU AND IN EVERY ONE IM CRYN WHILE TALKN TO YOU. IT IS VERY SAD. I BELIEVE U ARE TRYN TO REACH OUT TO ME IN MY DREAMS AND I WAKE UP CRYN. U REALLY DONT KNOW HOW MUCH I MISS YOU. YOU WERE A VERY BIG PART OF MY LIFE AND IM SO SO SAD THAT U ARE NOT HERE. I OFTEN THINK ABOUT ALOT OF THE WHAT IFS BUT I TRY NOT TO. MY HEART HURTS SO BAD BECAUSE I WISH I COULD HEAR UR VOICE OR TO HOLD YOU, OR FOR YOU TO TELL ME EVERYTHING IS GONNA B OK. I HAVE A HUGE HOLE IN MY HEART THAT NO ONE WILL EVER BE ABLE TO HEAL.WE WENT THROUGH SO MUCH TOGETHER AND I CAN HONESTLY SAY THAT NO ONE HAS EVER LOVED ME OR WILL LOVE ME LIKE U DID. I MISS THAT SO MUCH! I WISH WE WOULD OF KNOWN WHAT WAS AHEAD SO WE COULD OF PULLED IT TOGETHER. RYAN JAMES DEATON I LOVE YOU SO MUCH! U TRULLY R MY TRUE LOVE AND I KNOW WE WILL COME TOGETHER AGAIN ONE DAY, UNTIL THEN I LOVE YOU AND REMAIN RESTING PEACEFULLY.

Barbara, I know you miss him so very much.  He was so sweet at your party.

Ryan..... Although we didn't know each other very well, I was influenced by our acquaintance. We shared so many things in common that I didn't even know until all this happened. Looking back, knowing you makes me look at the people I encounter in a whole new light, getting to know and appreciate the time I spend with them. You will always be remembered. Thank you for being a part of my life, if even for a moment.

You never know how many lives you touched, or in how many ways you touched them. In those things, we treasure the time you were here. May you have the peace from above, blessedness, and eternal memory.

you have always been a dear and close friend. i dont know if you ever knew just how much your friendship did in fact mean to me. i will always miss you but never will i forget you. your friend betty

I LOVE AND MISS U SO MUCH BABY!! CANT WAIT TO SEE U AGAIN

No mother should ever have to outlive her child.  When Christina told me of your tragedy I was heartbroken for you. There are no words to make it all better but know he lives on in your heart and the hearts of those that loved him or knew him.

Barb,
I wanted to add this. I didn't have the paper with me that I had written down what I wanted to say earlier. I just wrote from my heart. It's only April, not long since it happened. Take your time. You are certainly entitled. I wish there was some way I could help you through this horrible nightmare. If you ever need & feel you can talk, just call me. I loved all the pictures. I don't mean to not include Tony & Chris. I know they're hurting, also. 

Ryan, I will always remember you as a sweet, laughing, boy.  You were always smiling. Your mom and I talked about you so much at work.  I remember the night you and your Mom spent at my house.  I can still see you walking into the bedroom smiling.  I wish I had known you as a grown man.  I wish some things in life hadn't been so hard for you.  You left so young, so soon.  I know you are at peace now.  I know that your mother's heart is broken.  I feel it, but can't fix it for her.  
                                       Christina J Delias

Ryan, I will do my best to take care of Chris the way you would. He is very much a son to me. Sorry buddy, but I too am a Seminole fan ! so there is no rivalry here. Your Mom misses you tremendously. Send her a sign to let her know that heaven is a better place and that you are happy and at peace. Let her know that God had a plan for you and he needed you more than we did.They say he is a Gator fan, and thats why he made the sun orange and the sky blue! Take it easy Ryan.We will see you again when our day comes. Cheers!

ya know i saw elishia the other day and we got to talking and i got to missing ryan all over again we were not like the best friends like him and his real brother was but he was someone i could actually talk to and he would listen to my problems like they were his own and it is hard for me to just talk to anyone about how i feel not even my wife i just wish he was here to talk to . i found out i have bone cancer and wish he was here to talk to my family and i miss and love you very much still to this day i quit playing video games that involve football love always and forever the west family we will never forget you and your presious family who love you

WORDS ARE NOT EVER ENOUGH TO DESCRIBE THE PAIN AND HEARTBREAK OF LOSING ONE YOU LOVE SO MUCH.  BARB AND FAMILY AND BRAD AND FAMILY, I KNOW THAT THE HURT WILL NEVER LEAVE, BUT IT WILL EASE IN TIME AND THE WONDERFUL MEMORIES WILL STILL HOLD TIGHT. I PROMISE.  KNOW YOU ARE IN OUR HEARTS, PRAYERS AND THOUGHTS EVERY DAY, WITH LOVE.

Ryan, You are dearly missed.  Watching you grow up was a great pleasure to me.  I could always count on your great smile and caring and loving soul. I wish that I had told you more what you meant to me.  R.I.P.

Ryan , You will be dearly missed watching you and Bradley grow up seems like yesterday. I know your family and brother Chris will miss you dearly as I will. Rest in place my little brother .When I heard about your dealth it put tears to my eyes as you were family to me also . See in Heaven  Sonny

Ryan was like a little brother that I never had, his untimely death has left a  void inside me that only time can fill.you will always be in my prayers an thoughts. (R.I.P little brother

It is sad to realize what you have missed until it is too late to do something about it. I wish that I had gotten to know the loving person that you were. I am forever grateful for the kindness that your family showed me at your service. It was comforting to know that you grew up in such a loving environment. May God watch over and bless you.
              Richard

My family and I knew Ryan for a little while and while we knew him we were the best of frinds and i wish he was here now to play madden he was the one who I would play with we loved him like family love michael, annie, june, shanyce,and brianna  west

Ryan, I saw you minutes after you were in your Mom’s loving arms and I never imagined that your life on this earth could be so brief.  Only 30 years to give of yourself and your love that so many people enjoyed.

Your sweet Mom had such a deep love for you until I couldn’t image her being able to love anyone else – but – along came brother “Chris” and Tony and sons and she seemed to have enough for all.   Others too!  It was hard to remember your name (ha-ha) because most of the time it was “Honey” or “Sweetheart”.  I heard that more than Ryan.  How sweet!!

Your Mom was exposed to alcohol in her family and could have acquired the taste and habit but – when you were born she decided to put away any desire for alcohol because she loved you so much and did not want to neglect you in any way.  Neglect was not a word in her vocabulary.

I am so sorry for all of the horrible things in our world today that tempts the young and old and actually destroys healthy minds and bodies.  Your brilliant mind and strong body did not deserve the bondage that became yours.

We miss you but we are  so glad that you are out of bondage, walking streets of gold and giving of yourself in so many ways.  All children love “young people” so they are happy with your arrival and the sharing of your love.

Love is the greatest gift of all.

Love You,
Jewell

ryan,
you will never be forgotten.
Love,
Jeremy Lott

Ryan,
I'll always remember you man, 
Love you,
Hal

My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.  I am sure Ryan knew how much he was truly loved!

Ryan was like an older brother to me i have known him for as long as i can remember. I remember being little and comeing over to hangout with Chris and seeing Ryan. Ryan was a great brother to chris and a great guy. We will always miss you Ryan.

Barbara, Tony and Chris,

We are so sorry for your loss. We can't imagine the pain you all are going through right now. 

Barbara I know you have been planning Christmas since last Christmas and you just finished getting ready and this happens. I will never forget the phone call. Ryan was your WORLD~ You have a certain "glow" when you talk about him. 

Chris I know he was your motivation, because rain or shine he would have you working out or running on our street. 

I will never forget the Christmas Party this year, when he played Santa just for Carlos. That meant the world to me. Carlos thought it was so cool and Ryan was so easy going about it, (except for being SO hot!~) I will always remember that.

Carlitos enjoyed hearing Ryan's stories and just hanging out with Chris and Ryan at the Christmas party.

May your memories bring you comfort during this difficult time. Just remember we all gained another Angel to watch over us.

Love,
The Alvarez Family
Carlos, Kim and Carlitos

Ryan was an amazing brother and friend, he was called home to soon and will be missed by those he has left behind. We can never replace, and will never forget.

Barbara, always know there are some of us, like me, who really do understand.. and who care. Love never dies.

my amazing brother...it has been 2 months since you have flown away. i know you are at peace by now, i just wish we all were. i love you so much Ryan & miss you so much more...love~ Cheri

I can hardly see to write through the tears.  Looking at the pictures I see the love you both shared.  I dont see how anything I can say will help...but I will say this.  He was a lucky boy who had you Barbara for a mother.  I know who you are...a loving and kind hearted person who I know loves her children...as I do.  As you took me in as a friend when we were young I know you cared and nurtured Ryan the same way.  You always had so much love to give.  I am so sorry my old friend...I can not express it.  Love you always, Bev

Ryan the child.    I remember your mother's joy (my dear friend Barbara)  with you, her firstborn son.  How she'd watch you play, laugh at the little things, gather you under her wings and make sure that you were safe and loved.  You brought new meaning to her life - a life that was filled with a lot of uphill climbs and yet, you kept her laughing and content.
     A Little Boy -
     Scuffed up knees, with dimples here and there
     A daring, caring, sharing heart, a mass of tossled hair
     Boundless curiosity, the spirit to explore
     Two twinkling eyes, a smiling dirty face and energy galore
     A love of life, a bit of sass, a source of untold joy
     Wonderment a dream fulfilled, God's miracle... a boy
Ryan the man.  I know your mother's joy with you, her firstborn son.  How she'd watch you play with your brother, laugh at your jokes, try to keep you protected under her wings - to make sure that you were safe....and always always loved.  You meant everything to her in life - a life that, even though, it was filled with uphill climbs - you kept her happy. 
I didn't know Ryan very well as an adult.  But the memory I do have of him, selflessly dressing up in a hot Santa suit to make the dreams of a young neighbor boy come true, I witnessed with admiration and respect.   
     A Grown Son  -
     He was so very, very special
     And was so from the start
     You held him in your arms
     But mainly in your heart
     And like a single drop of rain
     That on still waters fall,
     His life did ripples make
     And touched the lives of all.
     He's gone to play with angels
     In heaven up above
     So keep your special memories
     And treasure them with love
     Although your darling son
     Was with you just a while
     He'll live on in your heart
     With a sweet remembered smile

February 8, 2011

For my very dear Great-Nephew, Ryan.

It has been a month and a half since I received the heart breaking news of Ryan's passing.  It is only now that I can find the peace to write my memorial for Ryan, one of my three great nephews, the other two being Christopher and Matthew. I have just turned 80 and my life has been filled with many wonderful memories in which I can enjoy reflections:  High School at Landon High in Jacksonville; working for my parents in our restaurant at the foot of the Adams Street docks after high school; college at Florida State; three and one half years in the Air Force attaining Staff Sargeant status and enjoying many terrific fellow servicemen and officers aquaintances - some of whom I remain in contact even to this day - then moving to New York City where I had several positions as Human Resources Director, first with Sony Corporation of America when they first moved here from Japan, then with General Mills Fashion Division's Izod-David Crystal Corporation, Interco-Campus Sportswear and lastly with Ten Eyck Associates of King of Prussia, Pennsylania, the nations foremost forensic accounting/auditing investigation and consulting service [yes, a mouthfull!], then retiring at age 70 to Myrtle Beach, SC where I  spent 5 years consulting and advising with the Horry County Drug Court.  I tell you all this not to blow my horn, but to impress that my entire career has been consumed in people analysis, spotting excellence, sensing out the exceptional, being able to detect those who would succeed in spite of the hurdles confronting them.

And then there was Ryan, my incredible and ingenious, brilliant and beautiful, magnificent in his manliness, gracious in his gentleness, equally thoughtful of and tender to all, charming and charasmatic grand nephew.  I often would tell his my niece Barbara, his mom, that the description of Daniel in the Bible is also that of Ryan! 
". . . a young man of whom there is no blemish, but good-looking, gifted in all wisdom, possessing knowledge and quick to understand, who had the ability to serve in the King's palace."  Of all I had ever known he was the only one I wished to invite to colaborate with me on an extensive book I am writing (with Ryan) called, "This Planet We Call Earth" which is a history of Man's evolving exploits from the Big Bang to this very day.  We were taking each geologic age through time and attempting to describe how early man began to walk, to write, to discover, to invent and how this all came about through possibilities and probablities.  Ryan was helping me to give character to those early individuals in their endeavors and exploits.  Writing was one of Ryan's exceptional skills that few even knew he had or had the opportunity to witness.  But I did, and it helped bring our relationship even closer.  I was truly mesmorized at his writing ability, as well as his understanding of how human nature acts and reacts.

But I could also see the deep and dangerous canyons challenging Ryan during his life.  Those horrible and abomanible confrontations with substance abuse that claim so many of our truly beautiful people,  But Ryan is not solely to blame for the tragedy, the tragedy lies with all of us who allow those confrontations to continue, who do so little to remove those hurdles.  It is up to us, in Ryan's name, to remove those temptations so other truly wonderful young men and women can continue their lives to successful and bountiful fruition.

Our memory of Ryan deserves all of our efforts and energy to reach out and extend our support to help protect our youth and all peoples from the tragedy of substance abuse.  Let us all just remember what Ryan truly had the capacity to become - since I know each of you realize that he could touch others as no other person could.  And every time you pass a beautiful, special, sensitive, energetic, compasionate individual, you will think, too, of my and your Ryan.

Goodby, my dear, dear Grand Nephew.  Words cannot describe how I miss you, but I am sure you are now serving in our "King's" palace!.  I will be seeing you soon.

Your loving Uncle Richard

When tragedy occurs in the life of another it leaves us in a place of not knowing what to do, how to respond, or even how to help.  Uncomfortable because we don't know what to do, we don't know how to help, we don't know what to say.  We can't even imagine their pain much less verbalize our thoughts.  We want to take their pain away and wish the tragedy had never occurred.  Remember most people mean well - while they don’t always say the right thing and more often than not – they don’t say anything at all.  People many times just don't know what to say & that some feel saying nothing will help be a distraction to the tragedy.

I know you are in an emotional place that is dark and fear the sadness will stay with you forever.  You have endured a loss I cannot comprehend.  I feel helpless, don’t know what to say, but I don’t want to say nothing.

Barbara, my heart breaks for you and I do wish there was something I could do to take away your pain.  I will always remember that last time I saw Ryan and how much I enjoyed talking to him.  I wish now I had told him that then.  I know you have said that Ryan thought everyone judged him for the things he had done, but that was not true and I wish I had told him.  Ryan was so smart, articulate, and personable and had so much potential.  Such a tragic loss!
I pray our Lord will bring you peace and comfort.  Love You!

for the 1st time in awhile i FEEL you. i hate this,,,i know exactly how you you felt...bro i DO. i feel the same. AT THIS MOMENT. look at this song by Everclear...e wonderful again

Barbara tony and chris....my heart goes out to you. I pray the Lord you guide through the pain. Ryan loved you all very much. He is at peace now and will be with you each and every minute of your day..maybe not where you can see him but know he is in your heart. In the time I got to know your family I learned what an amazing family you were. I am truly blessed to have been able to share some of my life with you all. God bless you........

Ryan....what a special person. What fun times we had! God puts people in your life sometimes that leave an imprint and that you did on me. Even though we both moved on and made new lives I am so thankful I met you on one of my many adventures:) please know I  wouldn't take it back for anything in the world. May you rest in peace and know God had a better plan for you.   I only wish everyone would have known you for that sweet loving caring person you were. You will be missed by so many people and loved by even more.   RIP Ryan

Ryan,
I read a book called My BEAUTIFUL Broken Shell which I will have to share with your mom. It came to my mind and I realized what a beautiful broken shell you are.
In the book the author shares the brokenness of her heart and spirit as she struggled through a difficult time. She describes her experience walking along the sandy seashore searching for perfect seashells to add to her collection. As she gazes at the sea of broken shells, she comes to realize that the broken ones reflect her own broken heart. In each 
shell, she sees those who are hurting and who have lost loved ones; those who are frightened or alone; and those who are living with pain beyond understanding.
I know that GOD understood exactly what kind of pain you were going through and because he loved you so much he decided to bring you closer to him to take your pain and suffering away. 
Your loved ones kept throwing out the life preserver and you used all your strength to reach out and take it but the demon was stronger and took you under, again and again, further and further out, until no one could reach you and you were all alone with no shore in sight and had to painfully struggle all the way back again. You were fighting so hard to make it to the shore and broken beyond belief, in so many pieces that GOD HAD to throw you a life preserver to save you, because you had gone under so many times and he wanted to give you rest from your constant struggling to free yourself from the demon’s grasp that would not let you go. You asked to be saved by Jesus, which is exactly what he did and now through him you have victory over your demon’s clutches. 
All the broken shells you left behind will realize that only God has the power to save us in what ever way he thinks is best, even if it is through death. He never made any promises that being saved would happen in our earthly lives. We are not earthly bodies with souls, but souls, sent here by God, put into earthly bodies in hopes that we will come to know Him, love Him and need Him. 
Ryan, you are a beautiful broken shell that never pretended to be perfect or whole, and allowed for your brokenness to be seen, and showed all the broken shells left behind that within the center of the shell lays the immense beauty breathed into us by God.

The brokenness of each shell left behind will know that when hearts are shattered beyond belief, we can survive even the most horrific storm in our own lives. Beautiful broken shells don’t exist alone but are surrounded by a vast number of other seashells, each broken in their own unique way. Like all of humanity, when you truly look around, you see that we are all wounded in one way or another. As rare as it is to find a perfect shell in the midst of hundreds of shells lying on the beach, it's equally rare to find any one 
of us who has not experienced deep pain,sorrow and brokenness from our own demons. As the broken shells lie close to one another, trying to get over the grief of the lost shell, we must be reminded that we, too, live in community with each other, brought together by God, and can draw upon the strength and courage of others to help us through the most difficult times to know that God will save each of us in His own time and in His own way. God's life preserver will always be there if we ask.
In God,s love, Kim

I am so sorry for your loss....he will truly be missed and in our hearts forever! I can not imagine the pain of losing a child. I am here if you need anything at all please call. My prayers and thoughts are with you guys! Ryan was an amazing and caring person with an energetic, enthusiastic and loving personality. He lived life for all it was worth and brought joy and happiness to all those around him. I know he touched the hearts of many including me and my kids. He will be in my heart forever!

Dear Barbara, Tony and Chris, 
Ryan was a definitely a special light in this world with a great big heart and a sweet spirit.  The love you have for him will always burn in your hearts and in the hearts of those who loved Ryan.  Barbara, if there was something I could do to help take away your pain; I would do it in a minute.  Chris, if ever two brothers loved each other it was certainly you and Ryan.  Hold those memories tight and share them with your children one day.  Tony what an exceptional role model you have been and have always welcomed and accepted Ryan with open arms.  It is so sad that Ryan has left us this soon but I do find comfort in the fact that I can see your Mom, Barbara, with her arms wrapped around the little grandson she never got to see.  I love you all so much; you will be in my thoughts and prayers.  Ryan, till we meet again, sweetheart.
Love always,
Robin

here i am...again...Ryan why...why did this have to happen? your mom & i have shared some amazing pics. of you, me & your visit here to texas. i have so many regrets. Here it is, January...you're supposed to be here, remember...i wonder ALOT where you are now, can you hear my thoughts and love for you...??? i miss my brother :(

January 17, 2011
This Golden Thread that connected Ryan with his Family & all that knew him vibrates with Love.even when still.................... All that were lucky enough to know Ryan still feel his radiance . 
                                                                       The McDonalds

OBITUARY

Ryan Little Green Sport James Deaton

November 7, 1980 – December 20, 2010

Hardage-Giddens Riverside Funeral Home & Riverside Memorial Park

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