I realize that most of you knew Ruth Denell Connolly much better than me. So if you don’t
recognize this portrait accept it as the fantasy of a young boy who nurtured it throughout his life.
My Aunt Ruth was the first beautiful woman I know up close. My mother was attractive but Aunt
Ruth was beautiful.
Like some women who have been beautiful all their lives, it seeps into every aspect of their
being. It gives them uncommon physical grace but also extraordinary self confidence. They
know the effect they have on people, especially on men. How eyes are drawn to them. How they
become the center of attention.
I was fascinated with how she moved, how she laughed, how she tended her enormous garden.
She seemed glamorous without even trying. I once told her I remembered her in Glenview
twirling around and kicking her leg in the air like a Rockette. She laughed and said that was
nonsense. But if she didn’t do it she could have.
She seemed happy to tend to the always demanding Arthur Connolly but then would have
playful arguments with him also. I loved how she would call him “Connolly!” when he was being
particularly exasperating. It was like Tracy and Hepburn in real life. Very amusing.
Unlike contemporary parents who think they have to affirm children at every moment, she would
tell it to them straight. On at least every other one of our biannual phone visits, she would
remind me of what a crybaby I was. “Oh my god, you wouldn’t stop crying”. As if she still
couldn’t get the sound out her head after 65 years.
I had never met a fervent Episcopalian before and don’t think I have since. I thought it was an
oxymoron. But she was a true believer. She relied on her faith and it made her compassionate
to the less able. She became the driver to all the old ladies who did not age as well as her.
She was emblematic of the best of her century. Optimistic, hard working, practical, canny about
people, loyal and most of all great fun.
It was a privilege to know her. We will not see her 

Sometimes meeting people later in life becomes significant despite having no history together. And this is true about me and Ruth especially since our meeting was serendipitous. To explain, I reunited with the love of my life, Michael Camara, when seniors and then first learning about Ruth, his half-sister. Michael and had I met as teens in the streets of New York City but Ruth, in being much older, was not a part of our world then. 
It was only once reuniting with Michael I also learned about Ruth and Michael’s relationship with her. Although a geographically distant, I sensed their strong connection despite just phone calls and cards being possible. And, I was welcomed into their circle of two. 
Michael was seriously ill by then and, tragically, soon terminally ill. My instincts were to tell Ruth that if she ever wanted to see Michael before he died, now was the time. She had often commented on how travelling had become a chore since older but I proposed that choice since closure rather than remorse is always the better option when possible. Well, Ruth did chose to come to New York so the loving sister and brother could say a finally farewell. 
After Michael’s death, Ruth and I stayed in touch and along the way she made it her duty to send me photos of Michael when he was young, naturally precious gifts I would not have had otherwise. Ruth also sent me a silver identification bracelet that had belonged to Michael’s father and now I have passed it on to Michael’s granddaughter. 
And so, life continues on for me through memories and Ruth’s presence in my life is a gift I will always cherish.


Ruth was truly a lady.  She loved and cared about everyone  she met.  I have fond memories of spending time with Ruth at her condo and I especially remember that she never missed going to church on Sunday.   She was a wonderful person and your family is blessed to have had her in your lives for so long.  My deepest sympathy to all of you.  Ruth was one of a kind and will surely be missed.  Love, Janet Lamendola

OBITUARY

Ruth Denell Connolly

April 18, 1923 – October 3, 2022

Hardage-Giddens Oaklawn Chapel

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