To Jeff's family:  This is a bit of the memory I shared at Jeff's memorial. " In preparing for this I asked our friends for their memories of Jeff.  We can't recall exactly when we started to hang out with Jeff but I think it was our senior year and we hung out in a group of guys and girls throughout college, and after college into our young adulthood.  Our nickname for him was Booga and we don't know how he got that name or if it started out as a term of endearment or a teasing name, but somehow for our group it became our term of endearment for him.  Sometimes he wouldn't like it and he would make this face.  Our friend Mike Subiaga described it well.  He said, "He would raise his eyebrows, nod up and down a little and have that smirk of his face, like he thought you were an idiot.  He wasn't the loudest or most demonstrative person, but that look was funny.  He gave that look to us guys a lot because we're always harshing each other out and being stupid."
     In thinking about Jeff all of us can recall so many times we laughed, harshed each other out while we golfed, hung and I think we even went dancing.  Yes, once in a blue moon Jeff would dance.  Our friends recall going to Kauai with him and staying at his family's house.  They recall once going and finding the refrigerator full of rotting food that stunk up the house.  They group all pulled together to clean it out.  We recall how he opened his house to our group for a couple of Christmases.  I recall a ski trip we all took together.  There isn't one specific time that sticks out in our minds as far as a memory.  We can picture Jeff with his smirk or how fun it it was to be with him because he had such a wry sense of humor.  What I mostly remember about Jeff is how he made me feel.  He made me feel he had my back and that I could depend on him to be there for me when things were bad, and he was.  I could tell him my inner thoughts and even though he thought I was a neurotic wreck, I didn't feel judged.  Being with him was fun with his low-key, witty and dry sense of humor.  I wish I could recall all the witty things be said but with time the specific events are fading but I still feel how it was to be with Jeff and it makes me smile.  A poem I came across made me think of Jeff.  It says:  
And did you get what you wanted from this life, even so?
I did.
And what did you want?
To call myself beloved, to feel myself beloved on this earth.  
     Jeff was beloved by his friends and our affection for him transcends time and distance.  We extend our deepest condolences to Jeff's family.  With you we mourn his loss. "

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Jeffrey Jeff Kam Young Ching

May 23, 1965 – December 22, 2016

Borthwick Mortuary

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