Harriet Satsuyo Brown

Most of you here knew my mom as Aunty Harriet, and probably believed that she was kind of mysterious since she was the only Naito sibling who permanently left Hawaii as a young adult. So I am taking this opportunity to share some stories about Harriet and what kind of person she was.

Despite the fact that my mom rarely came to Hawaii to visit due to financial constraints, she regarded the entire family and relatives as very special and dear to her, and would often ask me if I had spoken with anyone. There was always a hint of remorse when she would mention relatives here, as if she never forgave herself for being compelled to travel to the mainland and build a life there. Of course by getting married in Los Angeles and having me, she sort of locked herself down in California.

My mom had travellust in her, and she had always wanted to travel internationally. Sadly, she was never able to do so, mostly due to lack of money, but also because she was so devoted to work and to me that it would have been difficult for her at best to go traipsing all over the globe. It was hard enough for her to come to Hawaii. It turned out that her last visit to Hawaii was in 1992 after uncle Katsutoshi died.

Now, she has returned to the islands for her eternal rest.

While I was in medical school, I set a goal to be able to take my mom on international trips once I was established in my career, but fate had very different plans for her. Her life changed dramatically in August 2004 when she sustained a brain aneurysm rupture from which she survived. Sadly, my mom continued to decline over the years, and was never physically well enough to travel anywhere.

She stopped caring about most aspects of her personal appearance, which stunned me since I had always regarded my mom as a very elegant, poised woman. She went from insisting on wearing heels and earrings to go to the grocery store, to abandoning her makeup routine and not caring what her caregivers at the assisted living facility dressed her in. However, she loved it when I would give her manicures, and she insisted on having her hair dyed burgundy brown, up until last September when a stroke flattened her personality and her spirit so much that she stopped caring about having a head of white hair.

Through all that my mom endured physically, she remained tough, honest, and opinionated. Some people actually got a kick out of how sassy my mother could be, even though she could also be cantankerous and defiant.

Although I miss my mother so very much, I am relieved that she is no longer suffering in the broken body which held her prisoner for so many years. I can honestly say that I was the luckiest person in the world to have had this wonderful woman as my mother, my hero, and my best friend.

Harriet Brown was the type of woman who didn't apologize for who she was, and she was fully aware of her abilities. It always amused me how she made sure I knew how to use basic tools like hammers and screwdrivers, and wasn't afraid to do things like assemble furniture or fix a hole in the drywall. However, she was also willing to admit when she was not adept at certain tasks. One case in point was cooking. My mom didn't really cook, and with the exception of meat loaf, broiled meats, and sukiyaki which was made with canned sukiyaki vegetables and fresh beef, her idea of cooking was looking at the back of the Stouffer's box to see to what temperature the oven need to be heated.

Since Harriet was always working so much, she was doing the best she could to provide for me, but even if she had time to cook, it just wasn't her thing. So I wasn't surprised when she VERY eagerly encouraged me to bake and cook after I had revealed to her that I had an interest in doing so. In fact, when I was 17, I told my mom, "Let's not go to a restaurant for Thanksgiving this year, I wanna make an entire turkey feat!" She was doubtful that I could pull it off, but when I did, she told me that I had full permission to repeat the process every subsequent year if I wanted.

Harriet was always interested in spy stories and mysteries, and had told me that she once wanted to become a private detective. She also wanted to travel internationally, but sadly was never able to do so, mostly due to lack of money, but also because she was so devoted to work and to me that it would have been difficult for her at best to go traipsing all over the globe.

By the time I actively began pursuing my own international travel goals, my mom was already ill, so there was no way that she could join me in those travels. In an effort to bring exotic locales to her, I would share all the photos, videos, and funny stories I had collected from my travels. I often thought that if she hadn't had me, she might have been that jet-setter she had dreamt of becoming, but as we all know, life can take us in all kinds of directions we hadn't anticipated.

Even though I was Harriet's only child, I think my mom also really would have been happy to have had other children besides me, and I was able to see her motherly devotion given to others when I got her a Scottish Fold kitten, whom she named Spencer Tracy. That little dude stole her heart, so much so that I got a bit edged out! After she had had him for about a year, she started referring to the cat as my baby brother! There was one time when I was at her apartment, and figured I would sleep in my former bedroom, but Mister Spencer would have none of it! He hissed and carried on so much that I was effectively banished to the sofa for the evening! What a bratty brother!

Harriet also adored my ex-husband Peter, not only while we were married, but throughout the years after we divorced. Whenever he would visit her at the assisted living facility, my mom would pretty much ignore me, and devote all her attention to Peter. This would prompt me to say, "Hey, what am I, chopped liver?" But I always secretly enjoyed the fact that she was close to Peter. She always had a keen interest in hearing about other members of her family or my dad's family as well, and even my friends, some of whom she had never met in person.

Over the 19 years after her brain aneurysm rupture occurred, Harriet's tastes changed, and they were unexpected and interesting. She became a Bingo master, and I could tell she enjoyed being the boss lady, calling out the numbers and monitoring everyone else's boards. She won so much virtual money, she would have been able to buy something like a television!

Speaking of television, she cultivated a passion for the Lakers, despite never having followed the NBA, or ANY major league sports for that matter, prior to 2013. She had a Lakers posters in her room, and would talk to me about the games. Harriet also kept up with current events, and was pretty hip for an elderly woman. She surprised me shortly after Prince has passed away by telling me, with a devilish glint in her eyes, that she thought Prince had been a VERY good looking man.

All in all, Harriet Brown was a remarkable, caring, supportive, tough, honest, opinionated woman, who made sure I developed a backbone. You would be asking for it if you wanted Harriet's opinion about something, and this was the case until very shortly before her passing. I think people actually got a kick out of how sassy my mother could be, even though she could also be cantankerous and defiant.

Now that my smart, strong, sassy, beautiful, amazing mother is gone and no longer suffering, I can honestly say that I must have been the luckiest person in the world to have had this wonderful woman as my mother, my hero, and my best friend.

Fond memories and expressions of sympathy may be shared at www.BorthwickOahu.com for the Brown family.