"Any relation to Dr. Gordon Ontai?" I can't even count the number of times I was asked that question when people heard my last name. "Yes, that is my father-in-law," I would proudly say. Inevitably the commendations would follow, "we love him", "he's the best doctor", "he delivered all my kids", and on and on. I was especially grateful each time I checked into Queens to deliver my kids. We received the royal treatment every time and didn't even get scolded when Eddie took our first born outside the secure area before he was properly tagged. I remember feeling much more at ease when he was in the delivery room with us and he was always there, even before my own docs arrived. I will miss him greatly and all of his sage advice, solicited or not. It is an honor to be his daughter-in-law. We love you Grandpa and miss you plenty! It is comforting to know you are in heaven with Grandma, playing golf everyday and cooking gourmet meals every night.

Dad,
You were always such a strong person, both physically and mentally.  Never knew anyone that could deliver a baby in the middle of the night, and then still have the energy to go running, play tennis/golf, or go back to work the next day.  You were definitely "old school" when it came to displaying hard work and play.  This definitely has left an impression upon me as I now try to raise my own kids (four too), provide for the family, excel in my profession, and also give back to the community.

I will truly miss you Dad, but look forward to seeing you again in heaven.

Aloha,
Eddie

Grandpa, I'm going to really miss you always showing me your latest and greatest gadget you got. You were without out a doubt the most tech savvy senior citizen on the island. I really wish I learned to appreciate golf at an earlier age but at least we got to spend a lot of time watching some of the most violent movies I've seen to date. Love you grandpa and can't wait for the things you can show me in heaven when we see each other again.

Gordon was my father-in-law and golf instructor.  We spent quite a few weekends playing golf and he would always give me pointers on improving my game but not sure I am any better I just know what I am doing wrong now.  Gordon would always be buying new clubs, gadgets and equipment and I would inherit his old stuff - much appreciated Gordon.  Other than golf he loved electronics and "new stuff".  He would always buy the latest and greatest cool stuff - which he also shared.  Laurie and I bought a new big flat screen to watch UH games and Gordon shows up with a speaker system that hung on the bottom of the TV because he thought that we should have great sound.  Beyond the golf course and his electronics the kitchen was another soft spot for he and Betty Lou (also my soft spot).  He and Betty Lou would shop for themselves at places like William Sonoma but also always buy cool kitchen stuff for us and others who appreciated it.  They loved to shop and share their treasures with family and friends.  Gordon joined an olive oil club and would take pride in sharing these great oils from around the world.  He would always have the history, background and a story for each of his acquisitions.  I really appreciate his interest and involvement in my boys' sports and school.  He was a loyal game goer event though many games my sons would never leave the bench - it was just nice having him there and it meant a lot to the boys.  They also received golf lessons but like me I don't think that they are any better either - no reflection on Gordon just the Lagranges suck at golf.  In conclusion Gordon was a very generous man who enjoyed family and friends and sharing.  Although he was a determined and sometimes stubborn man he was always very kind supportive of me and I always enjoyed his company.  He will be missed in our household. 
Terry LaGrange

Dad,
You were always so proud of all of us children and your grandchildren.  Always interested in hearing about our latest accomplishments and especially those of our children.  We will miss our No. 1 fan - at our games, our family gatherings and especially the quiet moments we shared together during your last few months with us.  I know you are watching over us up in Heaven - still cheering us on, being with us in spirit at our many potlucks and family gatherings and laughing at our goofy jokes.  Love you and miss you soooooo much Dad!

Our Dad's Eulogy
May 23, 2014

My Dad…By Lisa Ontai

Although he wasn't the tallest of men, dad was a true fighter.  

He loved to tell us stories of how although he was the runt of the pack of kids he hung around with – he could easily outrun them and was fearless.  The things he shared with us that he and his buddies would do as kids that he thought was so much fun, we thought was ludicrous.  

From barreling down the hills of Kaimuki and Kapahulu on home made skateboards and plowing head first into concrete walls, to playing football in the street with kids twice his size – he would laugh as he ticked off a list of all the different injuries he would horrify his mother with on nearly a weekly basis – from concussions, broken collar bones, to showing up on her doorstep with his face covered with blood – he thought it was funny – we thought our dad was crazy.  

But he was fighter.

And he was also a man of boundless energy.  And sometimes, unfortunately, he also expected those around him to also have boundless energy as well.

As an obstetrician-gynecologist – dad was conditioned to be able to stay up all night delivering babies, take a quick shower in the morning and then put in a full day of work.  

Well that was all fine, unless he was also in charge of planning and leading your vacation.  To this day, my brothers, sister and I may laugh and joke about the trip my dad planned to Boston for us – but at the time, it wasn't so funny.  After a red-eye flight from Honolulu to Boston, we landed – exhausted and all we wanted to do was go to bed.  

My dad gave us one hour to sleep in the hotel, then flicked on the lights, forced us out of bed and announced we were going to walk the Freedom Trail – a 2.5 mile brick-lined route leading to 16 historically significant sites.  For us it was the death march.  

None of us remember any of the 16 historically significant sites – we just remember trying to sit or lay down on every bench we could.  Dad was not happy that day, his kids were not fighters like he was.

And he was a fighter.

As a physician, for the past 53 years, he fought for the well-being and health of his patients.  He fought to ensure medical residents were well trained and inspired to become the best doctors they could be.  


As a physician, dad took care of many three-generation families.  Throughout our lives, it was not uncommon for us to meet total strangers who would rave about what a kind man our dad was and how he delivered three generation of babies within one ohana.  

When I was a labor and delivery nurse at Kapiolani Medical Center, I had the opportunity not many kids get – I got to work with my dad – mainly because the nurses thought it was pretty funny to assign his patients to me, so we could deliver them together.

But I got to see my dad in a different light  -  as the kind, caring and extraordinary physician his patients, his colleagues and the medical students and residents he trained saw him as.

I got to know why residents clamored to learn from my dad the art of “forceps” delivery – that without his teaching, would soon lead to an extinct generation of doctors who truly knew this art of medicine that could save women's babies and them from having emergency c-sections.

In recent years, even after he was suppose to enjoy the “fruits of his labor,” he rarely spent an entire Christmas Day, Easter or New Year's Eve with us, because he would volunteer to be on call at Queen's Hospital.  He said it was important for the younger doctors to be with their families and children, and since his children were grown, he felt it was only right that he do this.

Life as an OB/GYN is not easy, but my dad did it from the time he was 26 up until he was 79 years old because he truly loved what he did, and that was helping others.  

Even as our parents struggled to send us four kids through private schools and colleges on the Mainland, dad committed every Wednesday to providing free services at the Waimanalo Health Clinic.  After that ended 20-plus years later, he set up an office in Waianae and every Wednesday, he and Betty Lou would make the drive to serve patients out in the area since he said there were not enough OB/GYNs available.  

And when other doctors would turn away Medicaid patients because the reimbursement was low, he continued to accept them. 

He said, “these patients are some of my best patients because they are so appreciative and they need help.”  Dad said he didn't become a doctor to get rich, he became a doctor to serve.

He would brag that he was the oldest practicing OB/GYN in the state, and as public relations spin doctors, Laurie and I, would advise him, “Mmm dad, that's not necessarily something you want to advertise.”

But dad was a fighter.  About 5 years ago, he damaged his right eye at my brother Eddie's house.  He and Betty Lou went there for dinner and he was loosening a bungee cord in his car when it accidently ricocheted, hitting him right in the eye.  He came into Eddie's house with blood streaming down his face and calmly said, “Uh, I think I may have to go to the doctor.”  

However, because he had a patient in labor, he refused to go to the ER or have his eye treated.  Instead, he saw his eye doctor, and told him to just put an eye patch on it, so he could make his delivery.  Could you imagine if your doctor showed up in your delivery room and in the midst of your labor you look up and see him with an eye patch on saying, “Hey, Don't mind me, I still have one good eye!”  I guess he did a good job because she kept him as a doctor, but we called him the one eyed doc and of course made Dr. Pirate jokes for years to come.

And when my dad and his wife Betty Lou came to live with us this past year, my family got see first hand what a fighter my dad was – as he battled to regain his  and Betty Lou's health while making sure his beloved patients were well taken care and would continue to be – even after he was no longer able to practice medicine.

My Dad….By Laurie LaGrange

Dad was a fighter, and for those of you who knew him well, you'll laugh with me when I say that sometimes, well, my dad just liked to fight!

But he loved his family dearly, especially his grandchildren.  He was always eager to hear how they were doing and attended just about all their sporting games and other special events, along with Betty Lou.  And no coach was ever good enough for his grandchildren.  

Two years ago, when my older son Gavin, played volleyball for Kamehameha Schools' Varsity team, dad came to see Gavin's team compete in the State playoffs.  We were losing badly and the momentum had totally shifted to the other team.  We kept losing point after point, but the coach refused to call a time out.  I think out of frustration with his team's performance, he decided to teach the team a lesson by letting the game go.  

Well, here was dad, the fighter.  At the young age of 77, standing tall at 5 feet, 5 inches, weighing in at a hefty 165 pounds, he stood up with all the other 250-plus pound angry Hawaiians and started yelling at the top of his lungs, “Call a time out!”  He chanted that over and over, along with “What the bleep are you doing?”  “You should be fired!”  It was quite comical and we still laugh about it.

Dad was my fighter when I was diagnosed with stage 4 breast cancer at the young age of 44.  He helped me navigate through my treatments and when my cancer came back, he helped me fight back, replacing my fears, sadness and a feeling of defeat with optimism and hope.  

And when he was hit with cancer, he refused to back down, fighting until the very end.  I won't lie, sometimes, his fighting spirit was a major pain in the butt!  After Betty Lou passed away, we moved dad into a home and hired a caretaker to help him during the day.  He was down to 107 pounds, could barely walk and had to wear a diaper because there were times when he couldn't make it to the bathroom fast enough.  

One day, when I was there, he says, “I have to go to the bathroom.”  I say, “Okay dad, here's your walker.”  He says, “I don't need it, I can walk myself.”  Before I can even blink an eye, he jumps out of bed and starts careening down the hallway saying “See I can walk.”  I'm running after him, the caretaker is running behind me, and I'm yelling, “Dad stop, you're going to fall.”  What a sight!  He looked like a Chinese Ghandi in a diaper!  But lo and behold he made it to the bathroom fine.  Of course he was really winded and ended up using the walker to get back to bed.

Dad was a fighter who fought for what he believed in and he literally gave his life to the well being of his patients.  One of his biggest regrets was not retiring earlier since sadly, he literally became bed ridden from his cancer only a few weeks after he officially retired.   

Dad passed away peacefully on April 21, and even when he couldn't open his eyes or speak, he still knew what was going on.  I'm not sure if he ever gave up hope that he would beat his cancer.

I imagine his arrival in heaven went something like this:  

“Betty Lou, I'm here.  Let me in.  Open the gates of heaven.”

“Gordon, I am so happy you are here.  What took you so long?  Hurry up!  I had a feeling you would show up soon so I booked us an early tee time.  Wait till you see heaven.  It is so beautiful, beyond anything you could ever imagine.”

“Betty Lou, one of your wings is lopsided.  See if you can get me a screwdriver and I can fix it.”

“Oh Gordon, it doesn't matter what you look like here in heaven.  Follow me and I'll show you the most beautiful golf course you have ever seen.”

“Betty Lou, you know, you can fly much faster if you just put your hands down by your side.  It helps with the aerodynamics and allows your wings to work at maximum speed.  Here, watch me!”

There is no doubt in my mind that dad and Betty Lou are now in heaven having the time of their lives, enjoying the retirement they worked so hard to achieve.  Dad is playing golf everyday and eating sweet sour spareribs to his hearts content.  And Betty Lou is winning all of the golf tournaments and spends every day shopping without having to worry how they are going to ship all her goodies back to Hawaii.

Needless to say, it has been an extremely difficult year for our family.  To have a mom and dad diagnosed with stage 4 cancer within 5 months of each other and to lose both of them within 3 months of each other has been truly heartbreaking.   We loved them both dearly and we know how much they loved us too.  

Cancer is probably one of the most terrifying, painful ways to die, but with it comes the blessing of knowing your time will end soon, giving you the chance to tell your loved ones how you feel and to spend each day as if it is truly your last.  Over the past few months, we spent more time with dad than we have ever spent in our entire lifetime.  He would tell his friends that they could visit during the week, but the weekends were for his family.  His eyes would light up and he would wait for Saturday and Sunday to come, especially when Eddie would bring his family.  Eddie would wheel him outside and he would watch Eddie's four young kids play.  He even let Eddie's youngest boy, Andrew, who is 2 years old, sit on his lap and help him with his tube feeding.  These are memories we will cherish forever.

We also take solace in knowing they are now together in a much better place, where there is no cancer and no pain.  And by seeing how many people have gathered here today to say their goodbyes is proof that my dad's fight for the betterment of others was a battle well fought.

Thanks Grandpa for always supporting me in all of my sporting events, whether it was basketball or volleyball. Thanks for introducing me to golf and taking the time out of your busy work schedule to help me work on my swing. Lastly, thanks for being there for my mom when she was sick, because without her, I wouldn't be where I am today. You have made a tremendous impact on my life that I will never forget and will cherish for the rest of my life. Love you Grandpa

I was very saddened to read about the passing of Dr. Ontai.  He was a very special person and such a gifted physician.  
It was a privilege to have been a student of his during my OB/GYN residency at Kapiolani and Queen's Hospitals from 1982 - 1986.  He had such a quiet but strong presence and taught me things no one else ever did.  He was always willing to answer questions and teach me new techniques -- even in the wee hours of the morning.
I moved to Kaiser at the end of my training, so did not see him much after that.  But his lessons were priceless and I am very grateful I knew him.

Dad, I will never forget how you helped me through my journey with cancer.  You were my "warrior," especially when my cancer came back.  You replaced my fears, tears and feelings of despair with hope and optimism.  It was you that brought me to Dr. Shintani, even when I wanted to crawl under a rock and hide.  This visit to Dr. Shintani gave me a second chance at life.  Whenever I look up at the sky, I see your smiling face, looking down on us.  I love you and miss you.

My deepest sympathy to Dr. Ontai's family to hear of his passing and also of  the loss of Mrs. Betty Lou's passing recently. They were like family to me for the past 20 years plus.
They will be deeply missed.


God Bless
A. Abraham
& Family

I was sorry to hear about the passing of both Dr. Ontai and Betty.  They have seen me through all of my struggles with pregnancy and delivery.  The sweetest people ever and they will dearly missed.  He really was like a father more than a doctor scolding me about eating right.  I will miss our pep talks.

Gordon was a real tough guy and always had a can do attitude.  For example, after a round of golf at Moanalua Golf Course he was putting away his and Bett Lou's golf clubs when a bungee cord snapped loose and hit his eye.  His eye was bleeding and he couldn't see with that eye.  He told us he had to go to Queen's hospital for a delivery.  So he jumps in the car, goes to the ER and when he wasn't seen right away, he asked a nurse for gauze and tape, covered his eye and yes, delivered a baby safely.  That was Gordon.  And Gordon could handle extreme pain.  He would complete a round of golf even tho' he was bent over in pain because of his back problem.  He never quit.  What a guy!

We miss Gordon and Betty Lou since their passing.  They were dear friends, through our common love of Golf.  Gordon was the most recent President of the great St. Louis Alumni Golf Club and an active member of the St. Louis Class of 1952 and St. Louis Alumni Association.

"Doc" was a great help to me with a number of health issues that I presented to him over the years.  

We will miss he and Betty Lou very much and will never forget the good times that we shared.  Until we meet again ....

Me ke Aloha Pumehana!
Bob Takei

Our family considered Dr. Gordon Ontai to be more than just our doctor, but also a part of our family. He was dedicated and loyal to his patients and for that my 'ohana will be eternally grateful. He will very well be missed by us all. His love for his profession shone through by the way he cared for each individual patient. He was a great man, a skilled doctor & a loving friend! Mahalo!

I am deeply sad to read the passing of The World's Greatest OB. I'll never forget how he made my delivery extra special. He patiently sat at my side while awaiting the return of my (at the time) boyfriend pick up our daughter and come back to the Hospital to witness the birth of our now 18 year old son. You are truly a special Doctor that will never be forgotten. In our prayers always, D. Garcia Pasatiempo

Gordon was such a gentleman and always kind & patient when asked for advice. Along with all of the members of the St. Louis Alumni Assn. Golf Club, I will miss playing a round of golf and socializing with Gordon at the 19th hole.  Gordon, you and Betty Lou were true friends and will remain dearly in my heart.

I'm deeply saddened to have just found out of dr. Ontai's passing. He was such a great doctor to myself and to countless other of my friends that went to him. He was always very nice and patient to everyone  and loved to "talk" about many things- especially about  healthy eating! (which I unfortunately don't do.) . He delivered  both of my sons- and for that I'm truly thankful.   I'm going to miss him but -at least I know he's in a better place along side his beloved wife Betty Lou. 
Rest in peace ...

OBITUARY

Gordon Charles Ontai

October 14, 1934 – April 21, 2014

Borthwick Mortuary

Show your support

Add a Memory

Share Obituary

Get Reminders

Services