Good Bye Grampa Withers we'll never forget u R.I.P  Love Alex Cote

to james and linda withers our thoughts and prayers go out to you and your family at this time we send you our love and our support asyour dad is now watching over you and your family

dad no more pain you free we all love you

My father was a colourful character, a singular sensation, altogether unforgettable. I spent a lot of time sitting at his bedside over the last few weeks, and had an opportunity to reflect on his life and his legacy. His was a simple life, lived fully, joyfully and with purpose. I think in his own mind, Ken always worried that his life didn’t measure up. But one has only to look at the family that have been clustering round his bedside and the folks gathered here today, to know with certainty that Ken lived a good, long life. We should all be so fortunate to leave this world surrounded and supported by so many people who love us. I want to share some of the most important things I learned from my dad. 

My dad was by no means a perfect man. No one is. I learned through him that there is no need to be perfect. Do the best you can within your limitations. It is incredibly freeing to have permission to make mistakes. They are unavoidable in life. Most of the time, some humility, admission of fault and a sincere and heartfelt expression of remorse and apology go a long way. While it may not correct the error, the healing can begin. I remember as a young teenager, I was caught cutting class. When my dad met me at lunch time, I knew that I was busted and I was terrified. Dad looked at me and asked the simple question, ‘why am I here, instead of at work?” He told me that I was too smart to act so stupid and it better not happen again. He proceeded to take me to lunch and we had a good long talk about why I felt the need to cut class in the first place. By the end of lunch, dad was in my corner ready to help me address the underlying problem at school and proving through example that honesty and sincerity are the best way to align support and ensure that someone is at your back.

Dad was a man who longed to travel. I believe that he regretted that his family’s needs meant giving up the opportunity to sail the seas to distant lands. But he viewed life as a great adventure and was always ready to try something new. Whether it was French, Italian or Portugese phrases, or new food, (especially new food!) my dad was ready to give it a go. He might have been limited by circumstances, but whenever life provided an opportunity to expand his horizon, he was there. Although raising a family may have tied him to one place, anyone raising children knows what an adventure that is. Can you imagine raising a dozen? You’d better be ready for something new!

My dad possessed a true “joie de vivre”. Always whistling, humming or singing shamelessly. He had to express the song in his heart. If he didn’t have the right song for a situation, he’d simply make one up. This was one of his more embarrassing habits for us kids, but truly he had a lovely singing voice and no fear of sharing it. It’s such a pity (and perhaps a blessing!) that karaoke was not a part of his time. My dad would have loved karaoke. This need to make music was his therapy, and an antidote to a bad day. Truly, how can you not feel better when making or listening to music? 

Through my dad, I learned about citizenship. How vitally important it is to consider issues at a personal and civic level and to make your opinion known through the electoral process and by expressing your opinion. (yes, you can all blame him for teaching me this!) However, simply voicing your opinion is not sufficient. You have to actively participate in the process even if only through the casting of a ballot. It is not just our right, but our responsibility. Of course dad practiced this faithfully, through letter writing, through charitable donations, sponsorship and volunteering his time for worthy causes or for people. 

This duty doesn’t end at our own doorstep. Not only should one speak for oneself, but speak up for others when required. Dad was a Samaritan, always willing to make time, lend a hand, and share whatever he had to offer. A meal, a place to crash, or simply his company and an ear to commiserate, you could always count on my dad.  There is simple yet tremendous value in this trait as it honours and validates others and their journey, while preserving and enhancing everyone’s personal dignity.

The most important gift my dad shared is his eternal optimism. No matter how awful, sad or tragic, you would hear him saying “keep smiling, we aren’t sunk yet”. And it is true. There is always reason for hope. His faith may have wavered, but Dad never lost hope, never truly stopped believing and never gave up dreaming of something better. Right to the end, as I held his hand, you could tell he was fighting for one more breath. 

I will miss him, but I know that his wonderful spirit is free. A friend shared the words of Albert Einstein with me, "Our death is not an end if we can live on in our children and the younger generation. For they are us. Our bodies are only wilted ...leaves on the tree of life". Ken lives on. Not just his genes, but part of what really made him,  his spark, his energy, lives on in me and my children, my siblings, their children and my great nieces and nephews. We are all the fruit of his abiding love for my mother, the reward for his constancy, faith and hope.  He has earned our respect and love. 

A little more than a week ago, my dad turned to me and said, “You know, you’re right. I have lived a good long life”. He surely did, and I know he died with a full and grateful heart. He left us Friday, a day which dawned with a glorious sunrise and ended with a stunning sunset, and a mighty warm wind blew the whole day long.  As I looked to the sky, I couldn’t help but smile to think of my father’s spirit riding the wind like a kite that has broken its tether. Safe journey, Papa.

With sympathy and condolences from the staff of Clarington Central S.S

our thoughts and prayers go to the withers family

to aunt kathy our thoughts and prayers go out to  you and your family from kim john james

Dear Molly and members of the Withers Family,
I send you my love and prayerful support from London, England as you remember and celebrate the life of Ken / your Dad.  May you feel his presence and humour in a new way now that he has been freed of his suffering and rests in the loving embrace of his Creator.
God bless.
Sister Rosemary, SSND (Linda's sister-in-law)

Dear Kerri and family:  Thinking of you at this difficult time.

We love you Dad! We will miss your love, humour and good looks. J,J,E,M

James & Scott, may God bless you and your families in this time of sorrow. 

~ Elizabeth Cabral 
(I went to Hess Street School with James & Scott)

OBITUARY

Mr. Kenneth Breezy Roy Withers

Marlatt Funeral Home & Cremation Centre

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