With deep sorrow yet endless gratitude for the life she lived, we regret to announce the passing of Elaine Bethell (Vanker) McCollum, who died Tuesday, June 11, surrounded by her loving family. These few words will never be able to capture the profound impact she had on countless lives through her love and generosity nor the wildly complex, quirky and beautiful woman we've lost. Born Elaine Hartsuff Bethell on September 17, 1932, Elaine grew up in Ann Arbor and attended University High School. She entered Colby College in Maine, then graduated from the University of Michigan with a degree in zoology, which was later to serve her well in what she insisted was her life’s most cherished role – motherhood.
She married John Louis Vanker in 1955, and together they had five children. When that marriage ended, she took on the challenge of becoming a primary breadwinner and earned two masters degrees from Wayne State University. She embarked on a career in counseling and retired after more than 20 years helping people manage troubled lives and realize the good in themselves. Her wisdom and kindness made her perfectly suited to this calling. For more than 30 years, she was a member of Grosse Pointe United Methodist Church, where her deep compassion and unfailing selflessness inspired her to volunteer thousands of hours serving the community, climbing under freeway overpasses to deliver toiletries to the homeless, visiting shut-ins, and shining her brilliant light into every corner she encountered.
Seeing so many of her dear friends pass away before her, she simply made new ones everywhere she went, a task made simpler by her cheeriness, sharp wit, deep intelligence and exceptional capacity for bringing joy. At age 90, her biggest lament was that it was getting harder every year to lift bags of mulch and 25-pound bags of rocks for her garden. She was of esteemed ancestry, and the list of her professional and personal accomplishments is long. But she never stood on ceremony and cared nothing for finery or superficialities. She quoted English poets and was an ardent fan of country music and line dancing. If the grandchildren were coming, they’d find a new toy waiting, to add to the already tottering pile. She took the most genuine pleasure in giving to others and was happiest when those around her were happy.
"Amy" was beloved by all fortunate enough to know her, from her caring neighbors in St. Clair Shores to her sorority sisters to her friends at the dog park and the gym, where she last worked out only a few weeks ago. She loved her dogs, friends, neighbors, garden and backyard menagerie, her home by Lake St Clair and most of all her family. She taught her children and grandchildren silly songs and danced with them in her kitchen, and she lived long enough to bounce three generations of her progeny on her knee.
She is survived by her five children, Mary (Dave) Barba, John Vanker (Christy von Kaenel), Frank (Mary) Vanker, David Vanker (Bridget Karle), and Anne Vanker (Thad MacKrell); grandchildren Johnny, Lauren, Brendan, Lily, Katie, Thaddeus, John Patrick and Daniel; 10 great grandchildren; and her beloved King Charles Spaniel, Oliver. She was preceded in death by her parents; her brother, David; her husband, John; her grandsons, Jack and Flynn; and great grandson, John. A celebration of her life is planned for this summer. In memory of Elaine, donations may be made to Cass Community Social Services and Grosse Pointe United Methodist Church.
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