Brian Douglass Fisher

Brian Douglass Fisher, 41, of Glastonbury, passed away on Sunday, November 13, 2011. He was the loving husband of Mandy Wainscoat and adored stepfather of Baker & Piper Wainscoat. He was born in New Haven to Brian and Flo (MacKesson) Fisher.

Brian was graduated from Glastonbury High School in 1989 and the CT Culinary Institute in 1990 then the New England Culinary Institute in 1992. Brian moved to New Orleans where he was the executive chef and owner of “Chez Daniel” where he enjoyed many different awards and recognition for his talents. His gift for the culinary arts allowed him to travel to Boston and Maui where he was a chef for the Hyatt and Westin hotels. He returned to Glastonbury to marry his high school sweetheart, Mandy. He was a kind and generous man, always willing to lend a hand and who loved to share a smile with his charming sense of humor. He brought his love for cooking into his everyday life, often showing his affection by garnishing a bowl of cereal. He loved soccer, fishing and music, all music, and cherished the time spent golfing with his dad. He loved his family and will be deeply missed by all that knew him.

In addition to his wife, Mandy, and his parents Flo & Brian, he leaves his loving step children, Baker and Piper Wainscoat; his brother Andrew and his wife Janet and their daughter Crawford; his parents in-law Marilyn and Les Abkowicz; his brother in-law Scott Abkowicz; his grandma Florence Berg; his uncle Karl MacKesson of Vancouver, WA; his aunt and uncle Edwina and Harold Teague of Danville, IL and their children, Harold Jr., Desirie and Bronwen Teague.

Calling hours will be held on Friday, November 18, 2011, from 6 to 8 PM, at Glastonbury Funeral Home, 450 New London Tpk. Glastonbury, CT 06033 with a prayer service at 7 PM. A Memorial Service will be held on Saturday, November 19, 2011, at 1 PM, at First Church of Christ Congregational, 2183 Main St. Glastonbury, CT 06033. Burial will be private.

In lieu of flowers, donations in Brian’s memory may be made to: Hands on Hartford, 330 Main St. 3rd floor, Attn: MANNA Community Meals Hartford, CT 06106 or the Connecticut Audubon Society, Glastonbury Center, 1361 Main St., Glastonbury, CT 06033.

To leave an online condolence, please visit www.glastonburyfuneral.com

Funeral Home Prayer Service for Brian Fisher

November 18th, 2011 Glastonbury Funeral Home

Pastor David Taylor and Pastor VanDerzee-Glidden

Good evening, and welcome. We have gathered as the friends and family of Brian Fisher, even in the midst of our sadness and loss, to give thanks to God for a wonderful life of joy and happiness, trial and tribulation, love and laughter, Even in the midst of the struggles and challenges of life, which we all feel at times, and which of course Brian felt through many periods of his life, we are still able to turn to God in faith and trust and say, “Thank you God, for this wonderful life – thank you God for the life of your precious child, Brian.”

And we have gathered this night to share those stories, those memories, those moments in our hearts and minds that will keep Brian’s spirit alive in us all. Brian has gained peace. Brian has gained everlasting life. And we help claim that everlasting life by sharing tonight some of the memories that we will forever cherish. In just a moment, family members and friends will bring to life this very special person with just a few of those remembrances that will be forever etched and treasured in our hearts.

This past Sunday evening, as Kate and I gathered with Mandy, Les and Marilyn, Flo and Brian, we embraced, we cried, we prayed.

And then as we departed and as I drove away, I thought of this prayer – this prayer of the 5th century by Saint Augustine of Hippo. It is a prayer that captures the reality of our 21st struggles when the challenges of life can sometimes overwhelm us. Knowing Brian’s love of music, this prayer speaks to those moments in life when the music sometimes fades and dies.

Friends, our task tonight and in the days and weeks ahead, is to ensure that the music that was Brian’s life is heard again and again in our stories and in our remembrances.

Let us pray.

God of our life, there are days when the burdens we carry chafe our shoulders and weigh us down; when the road seems dreary and endless, the skies grey and threatening; when our lives have no music in them, and our hearts are lonely, and our souls have lost their courage.

Flood the path with light, run our eyes to where the skies are full of promise; tune our hearts to brave music; give us the sense of comradeship with heroes and saints of every age; and so quicken our spirits that we may be able to encourage the souls of all who journey with us on the road of life, to Your honor and glory. Amen.

Let us now hear those stories and remembrances.

Scott Peterson:

I first met Brian approximately 27 years ago at Glastonbury High School. My memory of the first time we met was how incredibly easy, relaxing and enjoyable it was to talk with him. It felt as if we had known each other all our lives. I sensed immediately that he was an extraordinarily good man in every sense of the word. The aura of peace and gentleness that surrounded him was indescribable and simply made you feel good to be near him. He also had this wonderful smile and incredibly contagious sense of humor. The deep belly hurting laughs we shared together are priceless and are one of the many things I already miss about Brian. It wasn't long before he was known to all as “B Fish” or oftentimes “B” for short.

By the end of that first conversation I knew in my heart that I had just made friends with a very special man. In fact, through the years I have grown to love Brian in a deep unconditional way that is truly a rare gift. I am grateful for all the times we shared together and hold those memories close to my heart. He was one of the greatest souls I have ever been blessed to know.

Brian taught me many valuable “life lessons” through example which have become a part of me forever. He taught me the beauty and joy of giving to others for no reason other than to make another person happy. Last Sunday morning after we went fishing he put on a hat and I commented that I liked it. Without hesitation he said “do you want it?” It brought back so many similar memories of his giving nature. I did accept the hat and little did I know how special this hat would become.

Perhaps the greatest lesson that Brian taught me was that many times in life it is necessary to put aside any pride or fears you may have in order to obtain your goals. This was exemplified in the most beautiful way through his courtship of the love of his life, Mandy. A couple of years ago B Fish and I had reconnected through Facebook. Through frequent e-mails and chats he freely admitted to an undying torch that he carried for his high school sweetheart Mandy. Our chats inevitably involved the subject of Mand and how we could best enable them to reconnect. He was scared but so persistent and patient that it was admirable.

One evening I called Mandy and we had a long and enjoyable conversation. I will never forget the reaction from Brian when I casually mentioned I had spoken on the phone with Mand. He was speechless and tongue tied that I had had the “honor” to speak with Mandy. He readily admitted he was jealous and that he would do anything to just be able to talk with her again. Shortly after they became “friends” on Facebook and Brian began his courtship. He was determined not to let her go again but was also willing to accept and be happy with being friends if that was all she wanted. Or at least that is what he told me.

I truly don't think I have ever met a man as devoted and determined to be with the love of his life. During the flight to Connecticut from Hawaii to see Mandy for the first time since high school he confided in me that he was literally shaking with a mixture of excitement and fear. Despite Mandy saying she did not have plans to ever marry again he put aside his fear of rejection and proposed to her anyway. That's courage and conviction.

Brian is one of the most peaceful gentle loving souls I've been blessed to know in this life. It's my belief that he is in some way with us right now and that by remembering him and by doing a kind thing to another that he will continue to live through us. It reminds me of a pebble thrown in still water with the ripples expanding outward until they touch another which in turn creates a different yet same ripple. Some call it karma but regardless the label I believe the possibilities are endless.

I would have done anything for my brother, my friend B Fish. I know he would do the same. That in my opinion is the true purpose for life in this world. I believe and pray that he may hear me and know that my love will not fade away.

Until we meet again, farewell my friend…

“Grieve not,

nor speak of me with tears

but laugh and talk of me

as if I were beside you….

I loved you so….

‘twas Heaven here with you”

Isla Paschal Richardson

Carol Kirsheman:

We are members of a bridge group comprised of six couples. Every summer one of the couples is responsible for a surprise trip for the rest of the group. It was about 15 years ago that Brian's mother and father took us on a surprise trip to Boston where we had dinner at 224 Boston Street Restaurant at the end of our day. Brian was the Executive Chef at the restaurant to our surprise. Brian had prepared special menus for us with the name "The Greater Glastonbury Bridge Club" at the top and a special 4 course dinner. The kitchen was open and we could watch Brian as he prepared the food and gave instructions to his team as to what to do then he would help present the food to the table telling us how the course was prepared. Brian was professional in his presentation and still caring that we were happy with the eating experience. Brian presented a surprise dessert which was his father's favorite - Bananas Foster Flambe. His parents were very proud of him.

Brian's Father: Narrative is included later in the Church Memorial Service .

Mandy:

There is a poem by Lord Alfred Tennyson, “In Memoriam,” which reads:

“’Tis better to have loved and lost

Then never to have loved at all.”

I do agree with that. The love that B and I shared was different than anything I have experienced in my life. It was not the incredible love of my parents and brother, or the unconditional love I have for my children. It had parts of those and more – a “deep peace” kind of love, or an “understanding of Grace” kind of love. It was something I lacked and didn’t know, and now that I know, I’m better for it.

Love with Brian was kind of like living different stages of my life all at once. He’d stay up ‘till the middle of the night with me, all chatty, like we did in High School. I mean, our first, reunited date WAS to Max Creek! His enthusiasm for soccer still was irresistible, and he really was so good it was like dating a soccer star. I am Victoria Beckham!

He organized my adult life, every morning, even if he worked at 3am. I left, every day, with my pager, cell, briefcase, snacks, lab coat because he celebrated my being a Physician. For him, it was WAY more than, “My wife is a Doctor,” he LOVED the fact that we had achieved the Doctor/Chef dreams we had as kids.

I spent a year in language immersion - learning Brian’s language where day to day vocabulary included words like “braise,” and “Béarnaise,” and “mis en place.” These were commonplace, and I know now, DEFINATIVELY, that “Butter is Love.”

Our adult life was a great mix of our talents and togetherness and intimacy. I loved his lips, his face, his eyes, his hands . . . I’m not going to kiss and tell, and our parents are here, so let’s leave it at that. 

Brian’s warm smile, his compassion, his generosity, his talent, his endless love – better than a bottomless cup of coffee – I carry what I learned from him forward. I hope to represent him well all the years of my life.

To some, it might seem a devastating loss, but I wouldn’t trade a minute of my love with Brian. I’m lucky to have had that love, and God gave me you all to carry me through the loss. Thank you.

Brian's Father :

This is the Bible I am about to read from. This Bible was given to Brian at his baptism by his God-Mother, Barbara Broadbent. It is a parent's dream to think that our children would still have their Bible in their adult life let along know that their children were reading it. In the Bible are two dried flowers: One is the boutonniere from his Senior Prom with Mandy and the other one is from their wedding on 8-9-10. Brian and Mandy used to read from the Bible together and their favorite passage was the 23rd psalm:

The Lord is my Shepherd; I shall not want.

He maketh me to lie down in green pastures:

He leadeth me beside the still waters.

He restoreth my soul:

He leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for His name' sake.

Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: For thou art with me; Thy rod and thy staff, they comfort me.

Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies;

Thou annointest my head with oil; My cup runneth over.

Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life,

and I will dwell in the House of the Lord forever.

(King James Version)

Thanks to each of you for your wonderful words which have begun to help us to give thanks to God for the gift of Brian’s life.

And now we close with a prayer from the Jewish tradition – it is a prayer for those who have died. With this prayer, we honor that Brian and Mandy were children of two rich faith traditions which provide hope, strength and courage during the times of our greatest loss. Let us pray:

God full of mercy who dwells on high,

Grant perfect rest on the wings of Your Divine Presence,

In the lofty heights of the holy and pure

who shine as the brightness of the heavens

to the soul of Brian Fisher,

who has gone to his eternal rest

as all his family and friends

pray for the elevation of his soul.

His resting place shall be in the Garden of Eden.

Therefore, the Master of mercy will care for him

under the protection of His wings for all time.

And bind his soul in the bond of everlasting life.

God is his inheritance and he will rest in peace

and let us say, Amen.

Friends, go forth in peace, knowing that God’s love is forever embracing you – and forever embracing Brian. Amen.

A Memorial Service in Thanksgiving for the Life of BRIAN DOUGLASS FISHER, JR.

November 19, 2011- First Church of Christ Congregational

Entered Life: April 6,1970

Entered New Life: November 13, 2011

PRELUDE

OPENING SENTENCES AND WORDS OF WELCOME

Friends, we have gathered here in this sacred place to remember God’s beloved child, Brian Fisher.

Today’s service provides us with a time to celebrate a life and to find comfort in the reassuring promises of God.

Hear now some of the promises shared in Scripture.

God is near to all who call,

Who call from their hearts.

I am the first and the last,

And the living one;

I died, and behold I am alive for evermore.

Fear not,

For I am with you,

Be not dismayed,

For I am your God;

I will strengthen you,

I will help you,

I will uphold you with my victorious hand.

They that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles, they shall run and not be weary, they shall walk and not faint.

As we gather here today, we do indeed mourn the passing of a loved one – husband, father, son, neighbor, friend, coach – but we have also come together to celebrate a life.

We are profoundly sad for Brian’s passing, but we also give all thanks to God for his life! This memorial service is a celebration of that life – a way to capture life’s beauty, to capture the beauty of Brian’s life and to carry it forward in our own lives. Moreover, we hope this service allows us all to remember fondly, share tenderly and love deeply. For even as we grieve, God’s abiding love surrounds us.

We now invite all who are able to please rise for the call to worship found in your bulletin.

*CALL TO WORSHIP

Leader: Let us declare the greatness of God:

People: Who fills the earth with beauty,

Leader: Causes the sea to shout praise

People: And the birds to sing glory.

Leader: Great and loving is our God:

People: Touching us in our need,

Leader: Sending family to embrace and friends to listen,

People: Providing the quiet mountainside to be at peace.

Leader: Holy and awesome is our God:

People: Painting sunsets that take our breath away,

Leader: Whispering comfort in the darkest night,

People: Filling the silence with a gentle presence.

Leader: Wondrous and compassionate is our God:

People: Present in every moment,

Leader: Holding us with infinite and tender care,

People: Setting our hearts to love, and our voices

to giving thanks for the divine love of God!

Let us honor Brian’s love of music by joining our voices in this joyous song of praise to God for the beauty of God’s earth – hymn number 473 found in the maroon hymnal.

For the Beauty of the Earth Hymn #473

For the beauty of the earth, For the glory of the skies

For the love which from our birth Over and around us lies

Lord of all to Thee we raise This our hymn of grateful praise

For the wonder of each hour Of the day and of the night

Hill and vale and tree and flower, Sun and moon and stars of light

Lord of all, to Thee we raise This our hymn of grateful praise

For the joy of ear and eye, For the heart and mind's delight

For the mystic harmony Linking sense to sound and sight

Lord of all, to Thee we raise This our hymn of grateful praise.

For the joy of the human love, Brother, sister, parent, child

Friends on earth and friends above, For all gentle thoughts and mild,

Lord of all, to Thee we raise This our hymn of grateful praise.

For Thy church that evermore, Lifteth holy hands above.

Offering up on every shore, Her pure sacrifice of love,

Lord of all, to Thee we raise This our hymn of grateful praise.

*PRAYER OF INVOCATION AND THE LORD’S PRAYER (in unison)

Awesome and amazing God, as we rejoice in the gift of the beauty of this earth, we gather to thank you for the blessed assurance of your promised salvation and glory divine. Fill us now with your goodness, and may we forever be lost in your love. Chase away the corners of sadness, expose our fears, touch us in this time of loss, and bring us to the light of new hope and the dawn of possibility. Open us to your resurrection power that knows no boundaries. Fill us with incredible joy, everlasting peace and unquenchable hope this day and always. In the name of Jesus, the resurrected One, we now pray together, saying, Our Father, who art in heaven, hallowed be Thy name. Thy kingdom come, Thy will be done, on earth as it is in heaven. Give us this day our daily bread and forgive us our debts as we forgive our debtors, and lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil, for thine is the kingdom, the power and the glory forever. Amen.

Brian’s life was filled with laughter and joy. Brian’s life was filled with love. For all of us who were privileged to know him, Brian had a heart of gold. He was a gentle and loving soul. And that truly came out in the love that he and Mandy shared, and in the love that he, Baker and Piper shared.

Throughout all the paradoxes of life, throughout all the paradoxes of Brian’s life, there is one constant. Love. In the joyful moments of life and in the sad moments, we are called to love, and we know that we are loved by God. When mistakes are made and successes had, we are loved by God.

Above all else, love endures. This we know, and this is the promise of scripture, as heard in these familiar words from Paul’s letter to the church in Corinth.

I now invite Sarah Xavier, a medical school friend of Mandy’s, forward to read this Scripture.

Sarah's Reading:

1 Corinthians 13:1-8, 13

13If I speak in the tongues of mortals and of angels, but do not have love, I am a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal.2And if I have prophetic powers, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing.3If I give away all my possessions, and if I hand over my body so that I may boast,* but do not have love, I gain nothing.

4 Love is patient; love is kind; love is not envious or boastful or arrogant5or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; 6it does not rejoice in wrongdoing, but rejoices in the truth.7It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.

8 Love never ends. But as for prophecies, they will come to an end; as for tongues, they will cease; as for knowledge, it will come to an end…. 13And now faith, hope, and love abide, these three; and the greatest of these is love.

Most of us here are familiar with this passage from Ecclesiastes found in Hebrew scripture. This passage speaks to another very important truth about life – the truth that life is filled with contrasts – birth and death, joy and sadness, weeping and laughing.

Like all of our lives, Brian’s life was filled with contrasts – moments of clarity and joy, moments of desperation and heartache. It is sometimes challenging to reconcile these contrasts of life, yet we all experience them.

Because of these contrasts, we sometimes appreciate life more because of death. We long for joy because we know sadness. We rejoice in times of laughter because weeping is also part of life. We yearn for peace because we know conflict.

Life is filled with persistent ebbing and flowing, waxing and waning; from one extreme to the other – the world and our lives are constantly changing. Despite the changes, we can turn to Scripture to find encouragement and inspiration, love and insight.

Listen now to these words from Ecclesiastes. May they provide comfort and understanding.

For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven:

a time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up what is planted;

a time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up;

a time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance;

a time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together; a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing;

a time to seek, and a time to lose; a time to keep, and a time to cast away;

a time to rend, and a time to sew; a time to keep silence, and a time to speak;

a time to love, and a time to hate; a time for war, and a time for peace.

Andrew, would you please share with us a remembrance:

REMEMBRANCE

Andrew Fisher

Hello everyone. I’m Brian’s brother, Andrew. Being back at church and standing at this podium brings back a lot of great memories with Brian. Whether we were lighting the Advent wreath, running up and down these aisles or church retreats we were having fun!

If everyone would please stand up…seriously stand up. Stretch your legs and take a deep breath. While you’re standing, please lift the seat cushion. You’ll find a newspaper article I’m going to refer to later.

The essence of the article is about love…The love between Brian and Mandy. What I would like to do is read a note that one of Brian and Mandy’s friend wrote on Mandy’s Facebook page. This is from Joe Porter.

“I spoke to Mandy today and she’s asked me to let everyone know how grateful and overwhelmed with the outpouring of support and more especially, the love for her and Brian being showered on them by everyone. She is coping as best she can for Baker and Piper with the support of her wonderful parents and friends.

Their story is legendary (read below) and I can speak with firsthand experience from spending time with both of them just last week, they loved each other with all their souls.

As Brian and I picked on Mandy telling our favorite Mandy stories, I was overjoyed watching the depth of their friendship and bond.

While she aches every second with what lies in front of her, Mandy believes that as her and Brian’s bond is being tested again, it will remain as timeless now as it has for the last 25 years. I believe it will.

I ask all of you to please pray for our childhood friend and her children, Baker and Piper. Pray for Brian’s family. And pray for the hopes of seeing a cure for Crohn’s disease in our lifetime.”

Here is what I ask. Next time you see Mandy, Piper, Baker, my parents, or the Abkowitcz’s….please give them a hug and let they know It’s going to be ok.

Thank you…

The coming together of Mandy and Brian upon Brian’s return to Glastonbury from Hawaii was the coming together of high school sweethearts, the coming together of two families, and the coming together of two rich and wonderful faith traditions.

I would now invite and thank Rabbi Craig Marantz for being here to offer words of hope from Jewish tradition:

A WORD OF HOPE FROM JEWISH TRADITION

Rabbi Craig Marantz:

A Litany of Remembrance

Roland B. Gittelsohn

In the rising of the sun and in its going down,

we remember him.

In the blowing of the wind and in the chill of winter,

we remember him.

In the opening of buds and in the rebirth of spring,

we remember him.

In the blueness of the sky and in the warmth of summer,

we remember him.

In the rustling of leaves and in the beauty of autumn,

we remember him.

In the beginning of the year and when it ends,

we remember him.

When we are weary and in need of strength,

we remember him.

When we are lost and sick at heart,

we remember him.

When we have joys we yearn to share,

we remember him.

So long as we live, they too shall live, for they are now a part of us,

as we remember him.

Gittelsohn, R. B. (1975). Gates of Prayer. London:

Central Conference of American Rabbis

and Union of Liberal and Progressive Synagogues, p. 552.

Thank you, Craig.

In his passing, Brian has found a peace that eluded him in this earthly life.

In his passing, Brian has found a peace with God.

And in his passing, Brian has found a peace like a river, peace like a fountain, and peace like an ocean – in his troubled soul.

Let us stand and sing together hymn number 368, I’ve Got Peace Like a River.

I've Got Peace Like a River Hymn #368

I've got peace like a river, I've got peace like a river

I've got peace like a river in-a my soul.

I've got peace like a river in-a my soul.

I've got joy like a fountain, I've got joy like a fountain

I've got joy like a fountain in-a my soul.

I've got joy like a fountain in-a my soul.

I've got love like an ocean, I've got love like an ocean.

I've got love like an ocean, I've got love like an ocean

I've got love like an ocean in-a my soul.

Flo and Brian, will you please come and share with us now?

REMEMBRANCE AND THE 23RD PSALM Flo and Brian Fisher

Brian's Father:

I want to tell you a little about Brian:

Brian was born April 6, 1970 at Yale New Haven Hospital. We were living in Orange CT at the time. Two years later, his brother, Andrew was born.

We moved to Corning, NY January 1976. Brian was now at the age when we could participate in community types of programs. The first of these was the Y-Indian Guide program. Once a member of the Y-Indian Guides, one must adopt an Indian name. That was easy for Brian. Brian loved to run so we agreed to Running Deer for Brian. Brian played T-Ball, swam in the YMCA program and to round out his culture, he took piano lessons using the Suzuki method of instruction. When we went on trips, we would play the tape in the car and the boys would practice the piece with their fingers on the back of the car seat. Corning was starting a new soccer program and I volunteered to be the coach of Brian's team. After our first five games we had not scored a single goal, but we kept our morale up by celebrating the day at the local ice cream parlor. Then it happened in the 6th game. Both teams were like swarms. The swam would move to the right and then to the left gradually getting closer to the other team's goal when the ball shot out of the swarm and scored our first goal. I would like to believe that it was Brian who had kicked that ball. The kids were all so excited that they ran off the field thinking that the game was over. I had to encourage them to get back on the field so as to complete the game. I don't remember who ended up winning the game.

We moved to Glastonbury, CT January 1976. The piano lessons unfortunately stopped as no one taught the Suzuki method for piano. Brian went to Hopewell School. We were able to join the Woodledge Swim/Tennis Club. That became very central to Brian's life in the summer. He swam and played tennis. We were able to play in a tennis tournament at the Glastonbury Tennis Club one Thanksgiving. We came in second place. He loved to ride his bicycle. He was top salesman in Junior Achievement and Captain of his soccer team one year. He was a good Lacrosse player. He loved Jerry Garcia and the Dead Heads... something we as parents weren't too sure about. Plus, when our next door neighbor moved, he gave Brian all his Grateful Dead clothes and pictures. Brian liked to play Atari and board games with friends.

We were very fortunate with our summer vacations. They were always at the same time, the last 10 days of August and it was always the same place, Mousam Lake in Acton, ME. We shared this time with another family, the Mosseys. They had two children, Jimmy and Laura, who were the same age as Brian and Andrew. We would rent the cottage for two weeks. Each family would stay for 10 days which then gave us 6 days together and 4 days alone as a family. We would swim, fish and explore in the a row boat. We loved to paddle into coves and see how far we could go before having to turn around. As the boys got older we were able to acquire a 16' foot outboard which then introduced us to water skiing. Lobster races on the kitchen were always a must before our lobster dinners. When it rained, we would go to the chocolate factory in Kennebunkport. All happy happy memories.

Meanwhile, back at home, Brian had fallen in love with the girl of his dreams, Mandy. This was a serious relationship. They loved to go camping. They went to the Senior Prom together, but after graduation, they split their ways. Mandy was off to Medical School and Brian to the Connecticut Culinary Institute for a 3 month program.

When Brian could, he was referee for the Glastonbury Hartwell soccer league. Soccer continued to be Brian's sport of choice.

While attending the Connecticut Culinary Institute one of Brian's advisors saw Brian's talent and recommended that he further his education by attending a college program. Brian selected the New England Culinary Institute in Essex Junction, VT.. Some of the things you don't get to hear from your children is the following testimony from his good friend and class mate, Kevin Reardin:

"Cooking with Brian in Vermont are memories for a life time. The fun, joy, laughter and driving the Chef instructors crazy daily was one of mine and Brian's gifts. I enjoyed listening to Brian's every morning's excuses for being late to class. They were fantastic for our "favorite pastry chef." For example: how his car got stuck in a snow bank or got a speeding ticket or the battery failed or ran out of gas. Then we would have to stay extra time baking bread, rolls, cleaning the freezer etc...Many Many Memories. Brian's Spunk, off wit, humor, kindness, love will always be with me."

After Brian was graduated from NECI, he completed a 6 month internship in New Orleans and 3 months in Carbourge, France before he accepted a job as one of the cuisine managers in the Commander's Palace in New Orleans. After several years, opportunity called to be Executive Chef at 224 Boston Street Restaurant in South Boston. We had several occasions to have dinner at Brian's restaurant: our bridge club, Barbara and John, and Flo and I. Every time, the dinner was something special. Brian was had a real spirit that made dining an exciting event.

Two years later, Brian returned to New Orleans as General Manager of the DeVille Bistro. It was by chance that my IBM team of 35 people was having a meeting in New Orleans. I recommended that we have dinner at DeVille Bistro. It turned out to be a dining experience that my teammates are still talking about almost 15 years later. The dessert was a surprise. It wasn't listed on the menu and it turned out to be Banana Foster Flombee, my favorite. I was so proud of Brian.

After two years, Brian went to the Bombay Club as the Executive Chef. Under Brian's leadership and in the matter of only a few months, the Bombay Club went from a popular watering hole after work to one of the top 20 upscale restaurants in New Orleans. Brian was recognized as one the top 20 chefs in New Orleans and he appeared on several TV shows demonstrating various food preparation techniques. The restaurant was awarded a 4 Star rating for food by Food and Wine Access.com February 2001 Brian competed in the "Great American Salad Toss" Contest. This was a national contest as part of the New York Restaurant Show at the Jacob K. Javits Convention Center. Brian was awarded Fourth Place which was a major honor unto itself.

Brian returned to Connecticut where he was the Executive Sous Chef for the Hastings Hotel Dolce International, Hartford for two years.

Opportunity called again and Brian was asked to be Chef de Cuisine at the Cascades Restaurant at the Hyatt Regency in Maui, Hawaii. Brian had a staff of 7 people and he was responsible for a $3.5 million revenue restaurant with 135 seats. This was a dream job for Brian. Brian stayed in Hawaii for the next five years. We thought this was going to be great opportunity for us to go to Hawaii to visit Brian, but when it came for vacation time after two years on Maui, Brian was getting Island fever and he wanted to vacation on the mainland. As a result, we went to the Hyatt Regency Spa Resort in Bernalillo NM What a beautiful Hotel. We went on a hot air balloon ride over Albuquerque. We reconnected with some Glastonbury High School class mates and friends, Charles and Johnny Baston in Taos. We went to the hot baths , saw several museums, did crafts, and learned a lot more about the Native Americans.

Brian moved from the Hyatt to the Westin Resort and Spa. While there we had an interesting experience as a family. One of the labor unions of the Westin Hotel in San Francisco went on strike and the Westin sent in employees from many of their other establishments to help run the Hotel while the union remained on strike. Brian was selected to be one of the chef managers to go to San Francisco to help out. We joined Brian for the week which happened to be Halloween week. We have always thought of Halloween as one day, but not in San Francisco. It is close to a two week holiday. People wore costumes to work. There were parades and just on-going celebration in all the stores. We went to Alcatraz Island, toured San Francisco and took full advantage of the opportunity to spend some quality fun time with Brian.

We were never able to be together as family over the holidays because Brian's job always required him to work. That was a peak time for Brian, but we always tried to celebrate together either before or after the holidays so as not to lose the holiday. In early December 2008, Brian came home for a week vacation and it was like a trip down memory lane. We drove to Essex Junction to revisit his alma mater, NECI. We drove down to Okemo in Ludlow where we met his God Mother, Barbara and her partner, John and had lunch together. We had had several winter holidays at Mount Snow and Okemo. Brian loved to ski. From there we took the train to New York City where we saw Lion King and the Nut Cracker both of which he had requested to see. We took a tour of Lincoln Center, walked around Rockefeller Center and Times Square at night. We soaked in all the color and energy of Christmas that exists in New York City.

Brian returned to Hawaii. Little did we realize at the time that Brian had reconnected with Mandy as a result of his good friend Scott Peterson's Facebook. It was a year later that Brian returned to Glastonbury and on 8-9-10 married Mandy. I can't possibly tell you of the depth of their love. I leave that to Mandy, but I will say that they were truly soul mates.

During that summer, Brian played golf with me and my golfing buddies. We played tennis a few times and quickly realized that we both had better stick to doubles. Singles required too much physical work. I attend a Potpourri breakfast at the church. I invited Brian to attend and Brian enjoyed it so much that he returned several more times. He became a very good friend of Al Reid, the chef. Brian spoke of him so much that Mandy felt she knew the man even though she had not met him.

Brian had the opportunity to introduce Baker to the Hartwell Soccer League. Brian was Baker's coach this season and the last. This was the first time that Baker had played soccer and he loved it. Brian loved being Baker's coach.

One might ask why the Audubon and Hands on Hartford were chosen as charities for Brian. Brian and Mandy were looking for a service project for Baker. Brian had seen on the internet that Hands on Hartford needed some volunteer cooks. Brian applied for the position with the hopes that Baker would be able to join him. However, Baker was too young to be in the kitchen so this idea wouldn't work. In the mean time, Brian saw the great value this program was having on the Hartford Community and he committed to continuing to support them by signing up to be one of their cooks for the next quarter.

The Connecticut Audubon Glastonbury Center was a very important piece in their lives. Mandy, Brian and Baker and Piper took frequent walks along the trails. Brian would help the children fly their kites. There were the Center visits to see the animals. Sometimes the walks were for just the two of them, Mandy and Brian. There were special events such as Earth Fair Day that was fun for the children.

Just a few days after Brian had died, Piper met with one of the school counselors and Piper said " I don't see what all the fuss is about. Brian is in heaven with his cat Mojo. Brian is out of pain and looking down on us." Then a few days later, Mandy gets a call from the school. It's Piper..."Forever is a long time..."

Brian was a happy, fun loving, bright, gentle person. He loved his cats. He was social, well liked, driven to perfection in his profession, loving. We are so very proud of you Brian. We love you. Mandy is the love of your life. You are true soul mates. Only Mandy can speak to that love.

Brian's Mother: I have Brian's Bible which was a gift of his baptism from his God Mother, Barbara Broadbent. He had marked his favorite passage, the 23rd Psalm. I would like to share that with you now. Please feel free to follow along.

The Lord is my Shepherd; I shall not want.

He maketh me to lie down in green pastures:

He leadeth me beside the still waters.

He restoreth my soul:

He leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for His name' sake.

Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,

I will fear no evil: For thou art with me;

Thy rod and thy staff, they comfort me.

Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies;

Thou annointest my head with oil; My cup runneth over.

Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life,

and I will dwell in the House of the Lord forever.

(King James Version)

Mandy's Love Letter to Brian:

Dear B,

I remember when I first started writing letters to you again – 20 years later, writing to my High School sweetheart, 3000 miles away, yet so close in my heart and head it was like I was talking to you.

It was beyond thrilling and crazy exciting to have found each other again over a year of phone calls, letters, internet, visits, and that we had fallen in love. It is that, you know, huge grin and heart flutter that occurs, simultaneously, whenever you cross my mind.

You are so brave, much braver than me. You put your feelings on the line first – major trust requiring stuff – that helped me to be open to loving you. I was DETERMINED not to. No falling in love with the “fantasy me” after all these years. But when you gave me your heart, and when we were side by side, there was some kind of tie – like a gold thread, that comfortably and securely tied me to you. A lifeline. A loveline.

I’ve loved watching you work. Prepping, organizing at home or organizing your staff, cooking, telling people how to plate your dishes( telling ME how to plate your dishes!) I always see you in my head, serious, with lots of breakthrough smiles, sweaty, in dress whites, moving quickly. I see you striding out to the table to kiss me because I came in to try your new creation or to visit. I see myself crawling into bed, or to join you in the shower, to hear about your night and how you saved someone’s dinner.

Your smile, your compassion, your love and love for me continue to bring a smile to my face any time I think of you. You are irresistible – a gentleman, an artist, a loving son, a dedicated brother, the best Dad, the “fun guy,” and the most phenomenal Husband all rolled into one, spectacularly handsome package.

With everyone present, and God as my witness, I want to thank you. Thank you. For loving me so much. For your sweetness and kind spirit. For gently redirecting my brain when it heads down the wrong path. For Superbowl (food for 50, four people), For Creek, vacations, Disney, Adult Weekends, for the day to day. For kisses that are silk and chocolate and music all at once.

You changed the course of my life and have left me with gifts and better characteristics that help me achieve my highest goals.

I love you Honey, I do. I love who you are – you don’t have to “do” anything. And I know, the only place worthy of you, except for being right by my side, is Heaven.

God is Lucky.

I love you so,

Mandy

MUSICAL SELECTION The Prayer Joel Garcia and Christopher Stone

I pray you'll be our eyes, and watch us where we go And help us to be wise, in times when we don't know Let this be our prayer, Lead us to the place, guide us with your grace To a place where we'll be safe. La luce che tu dai I pray we'll find your light Nel cuore resterà And hold it in our hearts A ricordarci che When stars go out each night L'eterna stella sei Nella mia preghiera Let this be our prayer Quanta fede c'è When shadows fill our day Lead us to a place Guide us with your grace Give us faith so we'll be safe Sognamo un mondo senza più violenza Un mondo di giustizia e di speranza Ognuno dia la mano al suo vicino Simbolo di pace e di fraternità

La forza che ci dia We ask that life be kind È il desiderio che And watch us from above Ognuno trovi amor We hope each soul will find Intorno e dentro a sè Another soul to love Let this be our prayer Let this be our prayer Just like every child Just like every child

Need to find a place, guide us with your grace Give us faith so we'll be safe E la fede che Hai acceso in noi Sento che ci salverà

I pray you'll be our eyes, and watch us where we go And help us to be wise, in times when we don't know Let this be our prayer, when we lose our way Lead us to the place, guide us with your grace To a place where we'll be safe. La luce che tu dai I pray we'll find your light Nel cuore resterà And hold it in our hearts A ricordarci che When stars go out each night L'eterna stella sei Nella mia preghiera Let this be our prayer Quanta fede c'è When shadows fill our day Lead us to a place Guide us with your grace

Give us faith so we'll be safe Sognamo un mondo senza più violenza Un mondo di giustizia e di speranza Ognuno dia la mano al suo vicino Simbolo di pace e di fraternità

La forza che ci dia We ask that life be kind È il desiderio che And watch us from above Ognuno trovi amor We hope each soul will find Intorno e dentro a sè Another soul to love Let this be our prayer Let this be our prayer Just like every child Just like every child

Need to find a place, guide us with your grace Give us faith so we'll be safe E la fede che Hai acceso in noi Sento che ci salverà

PRAYER OF THANKSGIVING

Let us be in a spirit of prayer.

Holy God, our world is full of paradox. We are born, and we die. We laugh, and we cry. We love, and we fight. We mourn, and we rejoice.

Today we come to give thanks for Brian’s life and for all the love he shared with his family and friends. We pause here and now to simply say, “Thank you, God, for Brian.”

We also come to mourn and grieve for Brian is surely missed. Our tears are genuine, and our sadness is real. We turn to you, O God, so we may find comfort in our time of need.

We also come to celebrate that Brian lives on in our hearts and minds through the memories of the people gathered here today. We take comfort in knowing we are not alone in our grief and that we have each other and we have you.

We give you thanks, O God, for this truly spectacular person, whose life was like a pebble that sent ripples of love out into the world.

We thank you for this gentle, loving soul, for his kindness, for his generosity, for his willingness to always lend a hand, to share a smile and his charming sense of humor.

We thank you for his love of the many activities of his life - music, soccer, fishing, golf – and, of course, cooking – both in his skill as an award-winning professional chef, but also his love of cooking in everyday life – even garnishing a bowl of cereal!.

And in this week of the Thanksgiving holiday, we remember his unabashed love of Stouffer’s Stovetop Stuffing, and also the cranberry sauce with the can’s ridges in the molded cranberry, and we rejoice in his winning entry at the chili-cook off at Kol Haverim.

And of course, O God, we give you thanks for his love of his family – for his parents Brian and Flo, for Andrew, Janet and Crawford, for Baker and Piper, and for the joyous and loving reuniting with Mandy – whose torch he carried those many years.

We give you thanks, O God, for the love that Brian deeply shared to the core of his being, even as he struggled and floundering during life’s most challenging days. We give you thanks that he is now at peace with you.

Holy One, draw us close, in the bonds of love. Help us always to walk in your ways and glorify your name. May we share with others the blessed assurance that death does not have the last word for those who put their trust in the redemptive death and victory over death of our Savior Jesus Christ, our Crucified and Risen Lord. Amen.

ANTHEM The Lord Bless You and Keep You The Chancel Choir

The Lord bless you and keep you

And make His face to shine upon you.

The Lord bless you and keep you

And make His face to shine upon you.

The Lord lift up the light of His countenance upon you

And give you peace.

The Lord lift up the light of His countenance upon you

And give you peace.

Amen, Amen Amen

PRAYER OF COMMENDATION AND BENEDICTION

Thank you for celebrating with us the life of Brian Fisher – today’s celebration is about God, food and people.

And it is now time for the food and people part of the celebration!

We cordially invite you to a reception in Schultz Hall following the service, through this door to my right, for a time to enjoy food and to enjoy spending time telling more stories about Brian’s life.

For those of you who were not able to greet the family last evening, they will be happy to greet you in the hall.

We would suggest however, that some of you may want to move into the hall immediately, by-passing the receiving line, and begin greeting one another and enjoying some refreshments, and later joining the receiving line when it becomes shorter.

And now, let us pray: may the Lord truly bless and keep you, Brian.

And now, into your hands, O merciful Savior, we commend your beloved child Brian Fisher.

Acknowledge, we pray, a sheep of your own fold, a lamb of your own flock, and a son of your own redeeming.

Receive him into the arms of your mercy, into the blessed rest of everlasting peace, and into the company of the saints in light. Amen.

Alleluia, Christ is Risen!

Christ is Risen indeed, Alleluia!

Let us go forth in the name of the Risen Christ!

MUSICAL SELECTION Amazing Grace Al Reid, Bagpiper

POSTLUDE

Thank you for celebrating with us the life of Brian Douglass Fisher, Jr. You are cordially invited to a reception in Schultz Hall following the service.

PARTICIPATING IN THE SERVICE

The Reverend David Taylor

The Reverend Kate VanDerzee-Glidden

Angela Salcedo

LOVE STORY

School Sweethearts Wed — 25 Years Later

By M.A.C. LYNCH

T hey liked the ring of 8-9-10.

So after their first scheduled wedding date was delayed, "we just decided we'd start the day right," Brian Fisher says. And on Aug. 9, 2010, a Monday, he and Mandy Wainscoat stepped onto their front lawn at 9 a.m.—Brian in a tuxedo, Mandy in a long gown— and were married.

Mandy's son was best man, and her daughter was their flower girl. White balloons bobbed along the white picket fence in their front yard in Glastonbury. The wedding party, still donning their formals, went to the local coffee shop to celebrate and then on to Mandy's grandmother's home. The wedding had been scheduled for July 30 at Elizabeth Park, but a brief illness forced the postponement.

Theirs was "a classic, high school romance," Mandy says. The two met at a bonfire in the fall of 1985. Brian was 16, and Mandy was 17, but two grades ahead of him at Glastonbury High School.

"I was smitten right away. We talked the whole night," Brian says.

"We went from zero to 100 in one day," Mandy says. On Monday "I wrote a note in class and gave it to him in the hallway. ... We didn't have cell phones." "We met every day after school," Brian says. In 1987, Mandy went to Colby College in Maine with the intention of becoming a doctor, a dream she'd had since she was 5 years old. They remained sweethearts until Brian took a Greyhound bus to visit her.

"It took forever," he says. He decided he'd had enough of their long-distance relationship. "I wrote her a letter and sent it to her at school just before Thanksgiving."

"I was super upset. I screamed at him on the phone," Mandy says. "I packed up everything of

his and burned it."

They didn't talk to each other again for more than 20 years. Brian went to the New England

Culinary Institute in Vermont in 1990. When he graduated, he moved to New Orleans to work as a chef and married. He worked in Caen, France, for six months in 1994 and returned to the Big Easy to purchase a restaurant with his wife. When their marriage ended in 2000, Brian moved to Hawaii to become chef at a Hyatt resort.

Mandy did research at Yale, followed by two years with VISTA, before attending the University of New England College of Osteopathic Medicine in Maine. After residency at the University of Connecticut, Mandy worked as a hospitalist and went into private practice. She had also married and divorced during that time.

"We were in a lot of the same places over those years," Mandy says. She had sung with her school choir in Caen, France, two years before Brian lived there. "I was at a wedding in New

Orleans," near Brian's restaurant, she says. She also stayed at the Hyatt in Hawaii, where Brian worked in 2001.

"The menu said his name at the bottom, but I never looked at it." In the summer of 2009, a mutual friend mentioned Mandy to Brian.

"I had over the years wondered what happened to her," Brian says. He subsequently noticed a

small picture posted among his friend's Facebook contacts and sent a message to her.

"I was really happy to hear from him. There was no bitterness," Mandy says. "I wanted to make things right."

She called, and "I apologized for the way we broke up," Brian says. "We caught up from the last 20 years" and stayed in touch through e-mails, Twitter and Skype. "I was starting to fall back in love."

Visiting Connecticut in February, Brian met Mandy for lunch: "It was like no time had passed at all." After a Max Creek concert, "we talked and talked and talked all night."

"That night at the concert, I knew I loved him. He was the same kid, except better. It felt so right. I was head over heels right off the bat. I just didn't see how it was going to work," Mandy says.

After spending every day with Mandy, Brian left hoping she'd visit. "Before I actually got home, I decided I was going to go back and quit my job," Brian says.

"I didn't believe him at all.... I was totally flabbergasted" when he moved back in March, Mandy says.

Brian turned down a transfer to Boston "to be near Mandy I came here without a job."

A month later, he was working for Compass Group as chef in its corporate dining rooms. "They send me all over," but there are "no weekends and no nights."

In May, Mandy met Brian at Elizabeth Park during her on-call break.

"When he got down on one knee, I thought he was having a heart attack. I thought something was wrong. I got down on my knee, too," Mandy says.

"Mandy had said she did not want to get married again," Brian says. "I asked her anyway."

"I was so happy There aren't words to say how I was feeling at that moment," she says. Brian concurs: "I haven't felt this happy ever."

Committal Service for Brian Fisher

11/19/2011 - 10:00 AM

Pastor David Taylor

Greetings and Opening Sentences

Listen to these words of the Shema,

Hear, Israel, the Lord is our God, the Lord is One.

Blessed be the Name of His glorious kingdom for ever and ever

And you shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might.

And these words that I command you today shall be in your heart.

And Jesus said, “Behold, I am coming soon. I am the Alpha and the Omega, the first, and the last, the beginning and the end. …So you have sorrow now, but I will see you again and your hearts will rejoice, and no one will take your joy from you.”

Although we are very much aware that today we are formally marking the end to life on earth for Brian Fisher, the words we have just heard from Jesus make it very clear that for people of faith, death is not an end but a beginning.

Yes, all of this may ultimately remain a mystery to us, but our faith proclaims that death is not victorious. Death does not have the last word. Death has been swallowed up in victory.

As we now prepare to lay Brian in his final resting place with God, in this beautiful corner of God’s world that he loved, I offer these words of support, protection, and comfort that the Psalmist offers to us.

Psalm 121

Assurance of God’s Protection

A Song of Ascents.

I lift up my eyes to the hills—

from where will my help come?

My help comes from the LORD,

who made heaven and earth.

He will not let your foot be moved;

he who keeps you will not slumber.

He who keeps Israel

will neither slumber nor sleep.

The LORD is your keeper;

the LORD is your shade at your right hand.

The sun shall not strike you by day,

nor the moon by night.

The LORD will keep you from all evil;

he will keep your life.

The LORD will keep

your going out and your coming in

from this time on and for evermore.

We are here to affirm, that our Lord God will keep Brian, and keep us, from this time on, and for evermore.

The Kaddish Prayer - Mandy's Father - Les Abkowicz

Glorified and sanctified be God’s great name throughout the world which He has created according to His will. May He establish His kingdom in your lifetime and during your days, and within the life of the entire House of Israel, speedily and soon; and say, Amen.

May His great name be blessed forever and to all eternity.

Blessed and praised, glorified and exalted, extolled and honored, adored and lauded be the name of the Holy One, blessed be He, beyond all the blessings and hymns, praises and consolations that are ever spoken in the world; and say, Amen.

May there be abundant peace from heaven, and life, for us and for all Israel; and say, Amen.

Prayer of Thanksgiving

Let us pray.

Loving God, by the death of Jesus Christ you have taken away the sting of death, by Christ’s time in the tomb you have sanctified the graves of the saints, and by Christ’s glorious resurrection you have brought life and immortality to light.

God full of mercy who dwells on high

Grant perfect rest on the wings of Your Divine Presence

In the lofty heights of the holy and pure

who shine as the brightness of the heavens

to the soul of Brian Fisher.

who has gone to his eternal rest

as all his family and friends

pray for the elevation of his soul.

His resting place shall be in the Garden of Eden.

Therefore, the Master of mercy will care for him

under the protection of His wings for all time

And bind his soul in the bond of everlasting life.

God is his inheritance and he will rest in peace

and let us say Amen.

And now most gracious and merciful God, in whose eternal care are all your people, we commit these ashes of Brian Fisher to earth in confident and certain hope of the resurrection to eternal life; through Jesus Christ, the first born of the dead.

And let us also pray for our own needs.

Almighty God, fountain of all mercy and giver of all comfort, deal graciously, we pray, with all who mourn, that casting all their care on you, they know the consolation of your love and compassion through Jesus Christ our Savior.

Merciful God, support us all the daylong of this life full of trouble, until the shadows lengthen and the evening comes and the fever of life is over, and our work is done. Then in your tender mercy grant us a safe lodging, and a holy rest, and peace at the last; through Jesus Christ our Redeemer. Amen.

We have heard the good news of the Gospel of Jesus Christ, and so now Brian now rests in newness of life and held in God’s loving arms. For him, the victory of life is won, and the song of triumph has begun!

Let us now go forth with thankful hearts!

Let us go forth with joyful hearts for the glorious power of the Resurrection!

Let us go forth with loving hearts to hold and care for one another, and to celebrate life!

Alleluia! Christ is Risen!

Christ is Risen indeed!

Alleluia and amen!