Grace Marie-Yei Kemner

When you love so deeply, the heartache is immeasurable. My precious girl, Grace Marie-Yei Kemner, was killed in a tragic head on collision due to dense fog on December 24th, 2023. We were just one short day of spending Christmas together. I am no stranger to life’s unwritten contract that everything can change in an instant. Grace’s father, Eric Carl Kemner, was also killed in a car accident just 18 years ago.

On April 15th, 2002 in Seoul, South Korea, a tiny Yei-Sun Lee was in need of a forever family. Halfway around the world, my husband and I were yearning to adopt a second child, a baby girl. On November 11, 2002, Yei-Sun was placed into my arms and just two days later, upon our arrival in the states, her father and older brother, Nathaniel, got their chance to hold her too. We gave her the new name of Grace because of the undeserved favor God had given us.

Our Gracie brought us so much joy and laughter. People would so often comment that she looked like a little China doll with her sweet round face and perfect rosy lips. She and Nathaniel (affectionately referred to only as “Brother” until she was a teen) were busy playmates on the farm where we lived; playing with their kitchen set, Nathaniel pushing her around the house on her little scooter car, and their endless hours spent outdoors. They even sat side by side at the dinner table, often holding hands while eating.

Grace loved everything about fashion. She adored dressing up and changing her clothes. It was common for Gracie to put on at least five different outfits in a day. This affinity even applied to her hope of having a beautiful green dress she wished God would have for her when she got to heaven. A wish spoken by a little three-year-old that had just lost her Daddy.

In those darkest days, Grace and her brother were the light I had to follow, trusting God would carry us through. We continued to live life, the three of us, even driving to Florida on a whim to see my parents. In time, God brought another man into our lives. After dating him a while, Gracie asked from her car seat, “Mommy, do you love Mr. Brandon?” “I’m not sure, honey. Why do you ask?”, I replied. “Because when you love him, then I’ll love him too.” Shortly thereafter, Brandon became Dad to little Grace and Nathaniel.

With this change, life took us away from the farm as well as grew our family. Gracie received a baby brother just before Christmas that year. At the young age of five, I could trust her to hold Mitchell on her lap with the boppy pillow for support while I took a fast shower. She was his cheerleader when he was learning how to walk, as well as his story reader. They formed a bond that only became stronger and more precious. She was “Sissy” to Mitchell and remained that for many years.

Two years later, Grace would get a room-mate, her older sister from China. We now needed a bunk bed for both the girls to share. Lorelei and Grace were often my shadow, especially in the kitchen, where they loved baking cookies. One of their favorite things to do while clothes shopping was for me to drop them off in the shoe section so they could try on as many of the highest heel shoes as possible. I would cringe as I came back to fetch them, hoping they wouldn’t twist their ankles.

Shortly thereafter, our growing family faced another tragedy. Our baby girl, Piper, growing inside me, had a fatal disorder and would have to be delivered early. Grace and her siblings were there after her lifeless body was delivered. They all mourned the loss of their baby sister. Grace wrote her a letter that was read at the funeral, describing all the hopes she had had for the two of them, but also noting she knew that Piper would be waiting for her in heaven.

A little over a year later, God gave abundantly once again and blessed us with our little Vivienne. Grace was now 11 and the perfect mother’s helper. She was no amateur at changing diapers, she had been doing it since Mitchell. The only difference with this little sister was that she cried….a lot. Grace got used to that as her baby sister grew, and the two of them also became best buddies. Some of Vivienne’s favorite memories with her are the ones spent together at Chuck-E-Cheese.

Grace was blessed with so many gifts and talents that she poured her heart into. She expressed a desire to play the violin and was instructed for nearly nine years by our beloved Dr. Shiganyan. Grace was an avid reader from an early age, which poured over into her advanced writing skills. Teachers at DeWitt Public Schools were amazed at her gift and nominated her for excelled summer programs through MSU during her elementary years. Grace loved to write out bible verses in calligraphy and paint them, graciously giving them away to others as gifts. In junior-high and high-school, Grace pursued cross country and track with CHAPS Chariots (Christian Homeschool Athletic Program) She played violin with the HSMA orchestra (Homeschool Music Association), Grace also worked in the crew for Homeschool Performing Arts and was cast a role in Midway’s production of Seussical. She went on two mission trips to Chattanooga serving Hope For The Inner City with her Youth Group, the last one where she befriended a little girl also named Grace that never left her side. It is through each of these groups that Grace was blessed with some of the most amazing friends that brought out the fullness of joy and silliness in her character.

Sadly, life hit Grace with some significant blows in the past few years, but she was trying to work hard and get back on track. She was taking care of her mental health and had goals of eventually attending college in hopes of pursuing a career as an Emergency Medical Technician. She had been working at a nursing facility for the past year and loved the people she served.

One ring of the doorbell at 9 a.m. on Christmas Eve brought my world crashing in. The guttural cries of a mother for her child she had yearned for and loved for so many years were all new to my ears. My Grace is gone. She had these last three words tattooed on her arm during some dark days. Oh, but Grace! But by God’s amazing Grace! She is not gone! My Gracie may never have grown under my heart; she grew in it, and there she will remain until, by God’s merciful character, the time will come for this mother to hold her girl once more in heaven. Until then, she will be embraced by her father, Eric Carl Kemner, her baby sister, Piper Lohryn Gates, as well as her grandfathers, Leon George Ball and Carl Ernest Kemner.

We, that love her, remain with our eyes fixed upon our heavenly home; her Dad and I, Brandon and Marie Gates, her siblings; Nathaniel Kemner, Mitchell Gates, Lorelei (Jonathon Yuan) Gates, and Vivienne Gates; her grandparents; Doris Kemner, Eileen Ball, Lohryn and Debbi Gates, her Uncles and Aunts; Michael (Sarah) Kemner, Michael (Cecilia) Ball, Mark (Kari) Ball, Michelle (Bruce) Dettling, Melanie (Jason) Woods, Carri (Travis) Boerema, Christopher (Lisa) Gates, Ryan (Kristi) Gates, her Korean host sisters; Rannie, Yoonie and Soo-Min; all of her many cousins and her great uncles and aunts.

Grace’s Dad and I appreciate the outpouring of love, support, and messages over these past few days. We are all grieving uniquely. The loss each of her siblings is enduring testifies to the love they all shared with their sister, Grace. It is a heart-wrenching thing to witness your children’s grief while bearing a mother’s loss as well.

Grace once painted an inspirational quote that perfectly describes her character. “There is nothing stronger in the world than gentleness”. Until I hold you again, Dear Child, I will praise God’s gift of you with my eyes homeward-bound. Heaven gets sweeter and sweeter with each bitter loss.

I love you, Gracie

Mom

A celebration of Grace's life will be held at New Hope Church (2170 E Saginaw Hwy, East Lansing, MI 48823) at 11:00 am on January 15, 2024. Visitation will begin at 10:00 am at the church. Burial to take place at Dewitt Cemetery.