17.
I will always protect my children from those that may be toxic and harmful, those that fail to take responsibility for their actions and have proven through action multiple times over many years, with many chances, that they aren’t capable of being anything like my Memaw, and from those who have let money and deceit guide their decisions.  During my fundamental years, my mother knew I needed to know and be loved by my Memaw.  I owe it to my mother, Memaw, and sister for being the well-rounded woman I am today.  I am strong, resilient, loving, and devoted. I’m protective of my family.  And because, like my Memaw, I am forgiving and a little stubborn, I had to find out the truth through my own eyes and experiences.  I know the facts and have made decisions based on those facts and personal experiences.  My Memaw loved me and supported my decisions, even when they saddened us.  Some things are out of our control, and we just have to ‘give it to the Lord.’  


16.
Memaw was an amazing partner, mother, grandmother, and friend.  She gave so much more than she received and was never bitter about it.  I don’t think she even thought about it.  
Many people aren’t blessed with parents who choose their children repeatedly, even when they don’t deserve it.  So, with that, I will do my best to follow my Memaw’s example and be the most loving, supportive, and devoted mother I can be to my own children.  My sister and I were so blessed to have the example of my Memaw.  Even though my own mother suffers from poor mental health, she protected us and kept us safe back then and was a great example for me and my sister to both be strong and independent women.  My mother fought for us and our safety, and she held on for as long as she could, and I know my Memaw admired her greatly for that.  My Memaw loved my mother despite her mistakes and flaws, just as she loves her own children and grandchildren despite their mistakes and flaws.  My mother looked up to my Memaw like she was her own mother.  Despite all the trauma caused by Steve, I often wonder why my mother let us continue relationships with his family. I imagine it would have been much easier to keep us from them, especially not knowing what would happen when Steve got out of prison.  And sadly, our relationships and dynamics did change after he was released. Still, even with knowing how things ended up, I wouldn’t change a thing and am so extremely blessed that my mother supported our relationships with them.  She knew my sister, and I needed the love and example of what an amazing woman my Memaw was.  Memaw helped mold us into the adults we are today.  


15.
Memaw always talked about dying, which I never liked as a little girl, but she made simple statements here and there, saying that she prayed that the Lord would take her first before Papaw.  She had no idea how to write a check or how to handle any of the finances.  She was a worry wart 100%, so she always worried about the what-ifs…and she didn’t want to be ‘left in a pickle.’  She also didn’t want to have a stranger to her move in and take care of her.  I remember telling her I would take care of her before any stranger was allowed to move in with her.  She would tell me to ‘send me to a nursing home…where there is air conditioning!’  lol. She always liked going to the nursing home to visit her friends.  She didn’t feel like it was horrible…however, being a nurse and working in a few nursing homes during school, I never wanted that for her.  
One of the things she also said when talking about finances or money.  She repeatedly declared, “Money is the root of all evil.”  She said it when I was a little girl and when I was an adult.  She was right.  


14. However, I wasn’t surprised by her choice because I wouldn’t expect anything else from her.  I had just hoped that, for once in her life, she would surprise me and choose herself and choose what would be best for her and her own happiness rather than others, but she was selfless.  She told me (and her lawyer) that she just wanted to move to a nursing home so she wouldn’t be a burden and she wouldn't be surrounded by people reminding her of the mess her family was in…She smiled her smile, and I cried…and then she cried. She didn’t want to be a burden…she only knew how to take care of everyone else and didn’t know how to have the roles changed and be cared for.  She just wanted to have peace and be treated with dignity and respect.  I believed living with her grandchildren and great-grandchildren, being surrounded by love, respect, and pampering, was best.  Having her granddaughter who built a career of taking care of others, taking care of her, and being by her side like she has always deserved…like I had told her in the past, I would do.  No verbal or emotional abuse or being left alone for long days.  Not that she would ever admit to any abuse or want anyone to know about it when she was alive...family back in her day meant keeping secrets, sweeping things under the rug, and forgiving and forgetting no matter the pain and suffering caused.  Women have a voice. We won’t tolerate surrounding ourselves with toxic people that only bring us down, family or not.  We do not respond to manipulation, monetary or material.  Some things aren’t forgivable…and even if they are forgivable, which in our case with our family trauma- it is not…it doesn’t mean we have to forget or turn a blind eye.   

13.
After years of serving her husband, her children, and then her grandchildren, she deserved to be pampered…she deserved to have new clothes and a purse that wasn’t 20 years old and stained.  She deserved to have her hair done and feel her best.  She deserved to have hearing aids that weren't broken.  But after 92 years of being frugal and not being allowed to pamper herself, she would always choose to go without. She felt money being spent on her was wasted, and she would rather save it for someone else or something more important.  
During her stay with us, we made many wonderful memories and had many hard and cherished talks.  I was sad but not surprised that she chose to stay in Dallas instead of moving to Pennsylvania with us after her son was released from jail.  She said he would have no one if she moved with us and he was out of jail. It was an example of the person my Memaw was, though…She decided based on her unexplainable devotion and love as a mother. She was also a worry wart, and a move across the country at her age was very overwhelming…and having never flown on a plane. (Although it was physician approved). 


12. 
We took her to the zoo with 3 of her great-grandchildren to see and feed the giraffes, her favorite exotic animal.  We spent several hours at the zoo, seeing all the animals she wanted to see.  Ben and I took turns pushing her around.  She loved pointing out the animals to Clara, Morgan, and Olivia.  It was such a great day, and I know how appreciative she was that we took her even if she was tired.  
She was also able to have her very first professional manicure and pedicure at the age of 92, and she was so in awe at the big massage chairs and the ladies soaking and massaging our feet and taking such good care of her.  I couldn’t believe she had never had a pedicure at a nail salon.  We both had our toes painted purple, her favorite color!  
She told me how good she felt after finally getting a perm again (her preferred hairstyle) after years of her having to grow it out.  


11. 
I’ll always cherish my time with her as a child and an adult.  Although, as an adult, our family dynamic changed as Steve, her son and my biological dad, was released from prison when I was 18.  Although I don’t want to get into it, being what it is, she was happy to have him home because he was her only son, and she was his mother...just another example of the wonderful and forgiving person she was. Maybe also from some other reasoning, I will never know or understand, but I trust that my Memaw did her best given the situations out of her control.     

When she stayed with me for several months, we had many long talks when I tucked her in at night, much like when I was a little girl when I would spend the night.  However, our talks were heavier and deeper than when I was little.  We cried, laughed, and made the most of our time together.  Memaw was able to spend so much time with her great-grandchildren.  They made memories of Clara and Memaw playing Wahoo and Dominoes together like we used to, cuddling with baby Olivia, and playing with Morgan!  Memories of waking up in the mornings to get her up for the day and make her malt-o-meal or oatmeal and cinnamon toast for breakfast like she used to make for me…washing her hair in the sink like she used to wash my hair in the kitchen sink as a little girl (of course, when roles were reversed she definitely didn’t lay across the kitchen counter as I did!), massaging her legs and feet with lotion like she used to rub me down with lotion after my bath (even after I got older and would lay in the floor and she would massage my back with lotion which we watch Wheel of fortune). 


10.
•	Embroidery- I’ll post a picture, but I still have my biggest project I worked on over many visits.  “Home Sweet Home”.  My Memaw’s house for me was definitely that and what sparked my love of crafting at a young age.  She was always sewing/mending something.  She was also always reading a good book and her daily devotional.  I get many of my interests from my Memaw!  

•	She would help me with my multiplication flash cards or spelling words.  We’d do them over and over.  

•	Peter Piper!  She taught me this riddle, and we would both say it and see who could do it the fastest without getting tongue-tied.  Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled peppers. A peck of pickled peppers Peter Piper picked. If Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled peppers, Where's the peck of pickled peppers Peter Piper picked?

•	I had many more random memories of her gardening, plants, taking walks, her favorite color being purple, flowers, food-Mexican and garlic, talking on the phone, babysitting and babies, cats, teddy bears, pin rolling her hair and getting perms, her house dresses (AKA moo-moo’s), Wahoo and Dominoes, Unsolved Mysteries and Wheel of Fortune, coupons, thrift shopping, driving around with her in the Station Wagon and the Cadillac, bunions, the park, being a worry wart.  Oh, and her letting me floss her teeth…She was probably surprised I became a nurse rather than a dentist…lol


9.
I feel like I could write a book…here are a few shorter memories
•	Hiding around the corner or in the pantry, jumping out and scaring her.  We would both be so tickled.  I get my jumpiness from her.  She was easy to scare! 

•	Me lying on the floor, and she would play “bum bum beat the drum…how many fingers do I hold up” on my back. 

•	Encouraging me to read my bible and devotionals.

•	I would perform my own shows in the living room and dance around.  I would sing also, which I’m sure wasn’t pretty, but she would still laugh and applaud and tell me how good I did.  

•	All the holidays spent together…My mom ensured we always spent every Thanksgiving and Christmas with Memaw, Papaw, Aunt Charlet, and Uncle Bob.  We would spend the day eating way too much and playing games.  Uncle Bob would tease us for falling asleep for a short nap…usually with me cuddled up next to Memaw, and sometimes we would take a walk after eating too much before dessert or go look at Christmas lights.  Charlet would make a “Mexican Fiesta” and like our Memaw, we all LOVED Mexican food. 
Even when it was hot and I was a young adult, I loved cuddling with my Memaw.  She would rub my back, and stroke my arms, I would fall asleep with my head in her lap.  


8.
Collecting newspapers with Memaw as Papaw drove us around the neighborhood.  Cutting coupons for hours from the piles and piles of newspapers and organizing them with her shopping lists and grocery ads.  We’d go to Menards (is that right?!), Kroger, Save-a lot to get the most out of her grocery allowance.  Once, she had a coupon for a candy bar…I remember she bought a new Hershey’s Cookies and Cream bar for me, which became my favorite. Sometimes whenever she would have another coupon for it, she would surprise me with one during one of my visits.  Fun fact: I had to look it up because Memaw's great-granddaughter, Clara, loves it now, too but it came out in 1994!  Haha. Clara to this day will often pick out a bar as a treat, so it always makes me think of being at the store with Memaw and her coupons and buying me that candy bar. 
She loved the “Love is…” series too.  She was full of love.  My sister and I would always receive cards in the mail full of coupons she thought we could use, clippings of comics that tickled her and the “Love is…” clippings she knew I would love.  Sometimes she would save a funny joke to tell me in person, and we may have laughed once or twice so hard we peed ourselves.    
Shortly after Ben and I got married and had Clara, I started trying to coupon.  I had a huge binder and everything.  She loved sending me coupons and was so proud of me for couponing.  She always said they just aren’t as good as they used to be though…  



7.
Food, food, food!  There were always home-cooked meals and iced tea. Her chicken and dumplings were my food love, and I still make them for my kids or beg my sister to make them for me.  Even though it was tedious, she always made them for me on Thanksgiving in addition to all the other Thanksgiving staples and requests.  She also knew that if she asked what I wanted to eat when I was over, my first request would be chicken and dumplings!  As I got older, she would let me help and teach me how to make them, but I still, to this day, must call my sister and ask what the ratio of eggs to flour is.  I have it written down now, but it’s still more fun to call my sister to say, “I’m making Memaws dumplings…what’s the ratio again?!?”.    
She also knew I LOVED her cabbage, but we knew we were all in for a gassy night when she made it.  Lol.  Sometimes I would eat three bowls. Too much info, sorry!  ;)
She would also spoon-feed me grapefruits.  She would cut it in half, grab a spoon, and we would head to the living room…she would spoon in out and feed it to me as I sat on the stool in front of her chair.  I’m sure it was a ridiculous sight because I was too old to be fed like a baby, but I loved it, and I think she did too.  She was also jealous because she loved them but couldn’t eat them due to her blood pressure medication.  
She would make us banana milkshakes as a cool treat in the summer.  I remember crushing ice with this ancient wall-mounted ice crusher so she could add it to the blender.  She would also put sweet-n-low in Papaws instead of real sugar and tell me to “shhhhh”.  Lol 


6.
On longer visits over the holidays or in the summer, I would help her with her chores.  We’d gather all the laundry from the bathroom hamper and take it to wash.  When I was younger, they still used a clothesline, so we’d head outside, and I’d grab things out of the basket to hand her to hang…I would play with the clothespins.  While outside, we’d check on her garden, and she’d show me what was growing or planted where.  I remember her showing me the compost once and being grossed out.  She never had a dishwasher, so as she cooked, she would wash dishes.  She would wash, and I would rinse…I still to this day, find handwashing dishes comforting.  We’d set the meal trays up, and when I got older, she would let me carry Papaws to him and then she would bring mine, and we’d all sit in the living room to eat.  We’d fill our water containers and go around the house watering all the plants.  I didn’t get her love of cooking or green thumb, but I always loved being her helper.   

When I stayed the weekend, I always went to church with her.  As I got older, I would want to sit through service with her so she would let me, and she would lightly rub my arm half the service…sometimes I would rub hers.  She would also let me read all the devotions she got during Sunday school when I was bored because the sermon was over my head and my attention span was short. (Sorry, Pastor Headley!)  On the way home, we would sing, “hurry, hurry Memaw, Veronica is hungry” over and over on the way home…Which she said started with my sister.  


5.
We walked the neighborhood a lot.  Sometimes she was on an exercise kick and would walk in the morning and in the evening.  I would always want to go with her.  I would want to spend time with her but also to get out of the hot box, which I’m sure was good motivation for her to get out of the house as well….no a/c in Dallas!?!  That’s another story…
Sometimes on our walks, I would rollerblade up and down the street in front of her.  Sometimes we would stop and collect bags of pecans.  If we walked by the golf course, we’d try to spot lost balls, and I would run to collect them.  As we walked, she would tell me about all the neighbors…who lived where, and who used to live there, the kids she babysat.  We’d talk about school, things going on in my life, things going on in her life…
Speaking of the “hot box”.  My Memaw loved wearing what she called “Moo-Moo’s”.  She was always in a summer dress to stay cool.  I remember her letting me pick out one of hers to wear on especially hotter days.  I always asked her to put my hair in pigtails.  I wish I had a picture of us in our Moo-Moos and my pigtails…
She would take me outside in the summer and let me play in the water hose.  We’d go to the park, and she would swing me and swing me and swing me and swing me some more.  She would watch me play…and we’d talk and laugh.  We’d have picnics.  


4.
She would talk about the restaurant she used to work at, working at Sears, family memories of her brothers and sister, nieces and nephews, her lifelong friends, the state fair, going to be with Papaw when he was in the service, and staying with 2 ladies who didn’t wash their dishes. Lol  
When we were both yawning and ready to sleep, she taught me the prayer we would say every night...” Now I lay me down to sleep.”

Her friends would call while I was visiting, and she would say, “Ohhh, tell them I can’t talk; my granddaughter is here”. Or if she answered, she would chit-chat for a few minutes and then say she needed to go because her sweet granddaughter was visiting.   
I was always prepared to stay on the phone for at least 2 hours when I would call.  I’m not exaggerating!  I’d say I needed to go, and then we’d start talking about something else.  We probably said bye at least four times before we said our final love you’s and miss you’s.  She loved chatting on the phone!!! 

We would play dominoes and wahoo for HOURS.  Occasionally, she would let me pull out Candy Land, but we both loved Wahoo and Dominoes so much that we would play those back and forth, over and over.  If we weren’t eating, we were probably playing a game.  I would beat her, and she would say, “ohhh you’re so lucky” or “this girl has all the luck”.  Sometimes I'm pretty sure she probably let me win…especially playing dominoes. Although as I got older, I always knew if she got a bad draw because she would make a pout face and sigh and then smile when I laughed because she knew I knew she got a bad hand.  She would say, “If you got that double six again…”.  Or the laughter we would have when one of us would throw down the 0-0 after the other went out.  


1. 
My Memaw

Memaw was a diamond in the rough. She was devoted beyond explanation, loving, understanding, and forgiving.  She always saw the best in everyone. She was patient and kind.  Feisty on occasion.  One of her favorite lines when I was visiting and Papaw was giving her a hard time was, “If God would turn his head, I’d kill him.”  She would occasionally call someone a stinker.  Always after saying one of these things, she would smile at me or make a pout face, and we would giggle.  Another favorite phrase was, “Oh me, oh my!”.  

Coming from a household that moved around quite a lot (my sister and I went to upwards of 20+ schools and lived in MANY places around the DFW and out of state starting in high school…we were well taken care of and safe, but we didn’t stay put long), one of my most cherished childhood memories was when my mom started allowing me to spend the night with Memaw and Papaw.  I remember the first time my mother dropped me off, I cried a little because I was a little nervous, but I could also sense that my mom was nervous too.  It started off as one night, then weekends, and then a week here or there in the summers.  If we had a dentist appointment or something in the area, my mom would let us stop by for a visit…and of course, Memaw fed me!  They lived a simple life in the same house and neighborhood, next to my favorite childhood park, and Memaw fed me very well (lol)…We made many memories and had so much fun together.  I would always choose to go to my Memaw’s over being at home with all my toys, game systems, TV, and air conditioning!  No matter how many times my family moved around or how many different phone numbers we had, Memaw and Papaw were always there at 1025 N. Oak Cliff Boulevard with the same phone number.   



Just a very nice and sweet lady !!   No doubt in my mind where she is at now!!

🩷Rest in peace Mrs. White..Gone but not forgotten.🙏🙏🙏🪻🪻🪻🪻🕊🕊🕊

Mrs. White you are a shining light in the sky now. I will always remember how you were always smiling even when you were in a nursing home. I will always remember you and cant wait to meet again. ❤️ I'm so happy for you!!  As you  are in heaven with Mr. White. And most importantly with our most high Jesus christ. 
🪻🌷🪻🌷🪻🌷I love you sooo! much!!!
love , 
susan soto

OBITUARY

Emma Dorothy (Volcik) White

October 15, 1925 – May 30, 2023

Grove Hill Funeral Home & Memorial Park

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