Crystal Ann Barton

I believe her parents were “on the road” at the time. The details of Crystal’s early life are vague. All I really have to go by is the stories she told me over the years.

Crystal’s early life was difficult, she was raised by a single mom who had many challenges. Crystal bounced around from school to school, never staying in one district too long.

However, this is just background, and it didn’t define Crystal. I don’t think I’ve ever seen a picture of Crystal were she wasn’t smiling, even the early ones. Somehow, she learned how to dance, hula-hoop, roller skate, twirl a baton and make new friends wherever she went. She was blessed with a love for life and especially a passion for having, and for being, fun. Even while living out of her mother’s car, she managed to make the high school cheerleading squad, basketball and track teams.

When Crystal was sixteen, Vonda Jo (her mother), passed away. Again, the exact circumstances are unclearAt this point, Crystal went to Oklahoma to live with her mother’s sister, Pat.

Pat was the antithesis of her sister Vonda. She was a single mom that worked as a baggage handler for American Airlines. She rose through the ranks in that male dominated field to rise to the level of a supervisor. Crystal lived in the country with Pat somewhere near Broken Arrow, Oklahoma. Pat did her best to give Crystal a safe environment and instill her with Christian values and for at least a couple years, Crystal had stability in her life. Crystal was still Crystal though and boys, car dates and having fun were always at the top of her “To Do” list.

Despite having a chaotic childhood, a gypsy’s school career , speech and hearing disabilities, Crystal graduated high school and enrolled at Oklahoma State University. Sadly, her college career was short-lived as well. At 18 she left Oklahoma for California.

It wasn’t long before she secured a job stocking shelves, on the nightshift, at a local grocery store. She made friends and found places to live. She eventually went on to work as a bartender or waitress at various bars in the Bay Area. It was at one of these bars, she met a guitar player who played gigs with his band around town, his name was Henry Coke and the two became a couple.

Henry was older than Crystal, well read, educated and from an established family. Henry recognized that beside Crystal’s obvious physical beauty, Crystal possessed an even more beautiful soul. Henry mentored her and nourished her. He shared his passion for reading with her. I think Crystal must have read well over a thousand books from that time on. Their life in California was happy. Crystal had stability, a healthy relationship, a just a little bit of understanding that she was lovable and talented.

At some point, the decision was made for the couple to move away from her beloved Bay Area and establish roots in Henry’s home town of Dallas. The couple started a family. Courtney was born September 13, 1996 and Wilson on October 21, 1998. The young family bought a house on Potomac Avenue in Highland Park. Crystal joined the Dallas Garden Club and the local chapter of the Junior League. She was on track to become a model Highland Park mom from a prestigious family.

As our story goes, things changed. I can’t say for sure what happened, I wasn’t there. Eventually Crystal and Henry divorced. Crystal being Crystal, found a way to support herself and did her best to take care of her kids. All she had for them was love, and she had plenty of that to give. Financially, they were taken care of, their father had custody. The had a home and all their basic needs were more than taken care of. Crystal had them on some weekends and on her days off. She spoiled them with love and made sure they had fun, and Crystal was an expert on having fun and making those around her smile.

In early 2009, Crystal and I first met. She was coming out of a long-term relationship and me out of a fifteen year marriage. We both had demons to battle and met while we were both seeking help conquering them. She caught my attention the first time I met her. She was gorgeous. She also had an infectious charm, but gorgeous was the primary hook. Our first date was over Memorial Day weekend 2009 and we were together ever since that weekend.

She was fun! She was more energetic than anyone I had ever met. We were inseparable from the start.

It wasn’t long until Courtney and Wilson became part of my life. Crystal and I shared a house on Ravendale that first year and the four of us were together constantly. She loved her kids and I quickly came to love them as well. Crystal was always in the yard skateboarding or playing catch with Wilson. Courtney and I would often be sitting outside looking at them and shaking our heads at that pair of nitwits. Just two silly kids acting goofy. Fall weekends were spent watching Wilson’s football games then hanging out at the house just having fun.

In 2010, we moved to New York for a few years and then on to Los Angeles for a couple more. All the time, we tried to keep the kids close. Flying into town to see Wilson play football, or one of Courtney’s cross-country meets. We flew them up to us as often as possible. Wilson still has a love for New York and may very well end up there someday. In 2015, we decided our kids needed us to be closer to them. Even though Crystal loved California, she decided we should move back to be closer to them. That sort of brings us up to the present day. I think I have done a credible job outlining the timeline of Crystal’s life the hard part is sharing with you why she was so loved and will be profoundly missed.

Despite all her travails, her hard knock life never killed the child inside. Crystal was forever a ten-year-old who had just ate a chocolate bar. Go, go go. Riding downhill with no brakes. That was Crystal.

The kids and I have been going through hundreds and hundreds of pictures. In all of them, everyone in the picture is smiling. Her smile was beautiful and contagious. There will never be another Crystal. She had her own language that was somewhat similar to English. She drove us nuts because she was definitely from a different planet too. She was capable of doing or saying anything at any time, regardless of how inappropriate or shocking it might have seemed to those around her. No brakes, no second gear, no filter. She drove like she was playing an arcade game while we clenched our armrests in fear anticipating the inevitable wreck. She played hard, lived hard and loved hard. She didn’t get cheated. She packed more, fun, adventure, trouble and love into her 47 years here than any of us will if we live to be a thousand years old. Crystal was intense!

Above all, Crystal had boundless love. She would cry whenever she saw a homeless person. She was generous to a flaw, the best tipper in Dallas, for sure. Anything she could do for you, if you were her friend, she’d do.

And - she REALLY loved her kids. They always came first. I’m probably the luckiest one of all because she loved me. I have never known a love like hers and I never will again.

In the end, maybe it was all that intensity that brings us to where we are today? She was a star that burned too bright to last as long as a normal star does.

Good bye, baby. I love you.

Daddy.