Betty Joe Renfro, 91, passed away on Monday, November 6 2023. She is preceded in death by her husband, Murray Edwin Renfroe, her older brother, Tom Gray, her older sister, Dorothy Stanton, and her younger brother, Donald Gray. She is survived by her son, Bruce Baker, 3 grandchildren, Kathy Baker, Barrett Baker, and Brennan Baker. She is also survived by several great grandchildren, Corrine Garcia, Jadyn Baker, Tristyn Baker, Brody Baker, and Bennett Baker.
She was born on May 24, 1932 to George and Elvie Gray in Dallas Texas. She graduated from Crozier Tech High school in 1950. She worked for and retired from Kemper Insurance Company as an insurance underwriter and supervisor.
For the past 7 years, she has lived in Prestonwood Court in Plano Texas, an adult assisted living care facility. Approximately 5 years ago, she moved into a memory care center and lived there up until the time of her death.
My name is Bruce Baker. I am her son and the responsible party for writing this obituary. The majority of my life, I have viewed her only as my mother. This may sound a little funny, but let me explain.
For the first 22 years of my life, my mother and I lived with my grandparents. My mother was married to my father, but divorced when I was 2 years old. We lived in a two-bedroom, 800 square foot house on Seever’s street in Oak Cliff Texas. My grandfather was retired as a barber. I remember having a car but not really sure if this was my mother’s car or a family car. I remember my mother riding a bus to her job located in downtown Dallas and sometimes riding with another employee. This was very convenient since we lived on a bus route.
Every school day was the same. At 7 o’clock in the morning, I would begin watching Slam Bang Theater, with Iggy Twerp. After the first episode of “The Three Stooges”, my mother would bring me breakfast. At some point within the next 30 minutes and prior to the last episode of “The Three Stooges”, I would finish breakfast and get dressed. At 8:15 a.m., I would walk to school, and my mother would go to work.
Every Saturday was the same as well. I would go to the grocery store with my mother and my grandfather. We would collect our green stamps and our horse race picks for the Saturday races on T.V. We had hamburgers fried in saved grease. The meat was overcooked gristle and the buns were soaked in the grease. I never told my mother, but these were absolutely awful. We would then watch country music television on channel 11 followed by the television news and pre-recorded wrestling matches, always hoping to see Fritz Von Erich.
For a very brief period of time, my mother remarried and we moved to North Dallas. The marriage was very brief and after only 6 weeks attending another school, my mother and I moved back in with my grandparents. Within a year, my grandparents would sell their home on Seever’s Street and we moved West.
Shortly after moving in the summer between 6th and 7th grade, my grandfather passed away. After the passing of my grandfather, my mother, grandmother, and I lived together until I graduated from college and moved to Houston Texas. During this time, my mother was the primary caregiver for both myself and my grandmother. She was responsible for getting me to school, preparing dinner, transporting me to football practice…or basketball practice… or baseball practice. She would somehow find the time to actually attend the games. I can remember her cheering me from the stands.
Until I could drive, she would take myself and my friends (girlfriends later on) to any number of places….and then pick us up. After I could finally drive, she would spend much time worrying about whether or not I would get home. At other times, my mother was there at the door to welcome me home from a late night out to counsel me regarding the dangers of a late night out along with the dangers of driving at night. I’m not sure I can actually describe the manner and the language she would use for these times.
At other times, we spent time watching “All in the Family” on Saturday nights with my mother and Spooky laying on the couch, my grandmother sitting in her chair, and I sitting in my chair. My mother would be asleep, spooky would be growling at me every time I moved, and I would spend time looking through the Sears or JC Penny’s catalogue. If you are a guy, you will understand this.
My mother was an amazing woman. I realize that for the first 22 years of my life, she was the primary care giver to her son and her elderly parents at the same time that she was the primary financial contributor to the household. Based on conversation that I did not understand at the time, we were actually in government assisted housing during my high school and college years. She was also responsible for all of the family transportation.
Later in her life, she would provide her time for caring and support for my daughter and granddaughter. She would do this against my direction. I suppose that my mother always knew best.
Despite her roles as the primary financial provider and primary care giver to an elderly parent and young son, she found time to have fun. This may be playing basketball or going to Wee St. Andrews for miniature golf where she beat me every time, attending a Dallas Cowboys game and sitting in the end zone seats, or attending the circus or Disney on ice.
When my mother became ill, I began organizing her photographs. It was through this project that I began seeing my mother in a different perspective.
My mother was a beautiful and striking woman. This is clearly visible in pictures available with her girlfriends prior to marriage and in the early pictures of her and my father. Hopefully she will be remembered for her Texas Big Hair style always dyed red.
After leaving home for Medical School, my mother travelled. She had a group of co-workers and friends from Kemper who went to Acapulco every year. She went on cruises. She danced and sang and even attended a bull fight. One of my favorite pictures is her in short shorts at the hotel lobby with the hotel lobby attendant. On this same trip, there is a wonderful picture of her and her image in a mirror. It is clear that my mother was a little vain.
In her later years, her beauty and elegance remained. Her hair went from red to gray but remained groomed and proper.
Every Thursday, my mother would have a hair appointment that would last 2 to 3 hours. She met with the same group of ladies every Thursday along with the hairdresser. They rotated from station to station, always in conversation. I think that maybe they all had a few drinks while there. I now realize this was her “mother’s day out”. Free time for her to take care of herself. My mother had friends and liked to have fun.
When I moved to Houston to attend medical school, my mother began hanging out with some of her friends from work. She learned to country dance which included line dancing. It was during this time that she met and ultimately married Edwin Renfroe. During this time, she was visibly happy and was married to a man who was in love with her.
My mother participated in a travel group. She went on Italian and Alaskan cruises. She visited New York with photos of her and her sister at Tavern on the Green and horse backed carriages at Central Park. She visited London and captured a picture of Queen Elizabeth returning to Buckingham palace. She visited Mozart’s birthplace in Austria. My mother got around.
My mother had the “hots” for Englebert Humperdinck and Tom Jones (maybe). I thought I would just throw that one in.
In summary, my mother was much more than my mother. She was a beautiful woman in appearance and character. She cared for me but also longed to be cared for by someone else. She was responsible and took care of business but liked to have fun as well. Despite the fact that she did not attend college, she was smart and wise. She could dance. Above all, she loved God and her family.
One final comment. I am a practicing physician, currently with 38 years of practice and approaching retirement. My mother never wanted me to go to medical school and would often discuss her concerns openly with me. I never had any real desire to be a physician. For me, medical school was simply another step after college. I am certainly thankful to be a physician. It is a profession that I truly love and enjoy.
When I left home, my mother blossomed. I believe this to be God’s reward to her for being a faithful servant. Through me being a physician, God has provided for a means to care for her for the last 7 years of her life.
I am so grateful to God and to my mother from whom he provided.
Fond memories and expressions of sympathy may be shared at www.laurellanddallas.com for the Renfroe family.
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