Thank you Maria for inviting me to Sunday dinners knowing my parents tossed me on to the streets on a daily basis. You didn't need to do that, but you did. You not only recognized the abuse I suffered from as a child, but were always a consoling adult that showed me compassion and words of advice. I will always remember you, never forget you, and always remember the Christmas day you made sure Chris had me come over for dinner. That dinner, despite Chris's reluctance, was one of the best days of my life.

Hi Mom, today is 51 weeks without you. It's almost 1 year since you left us. I can't believe the time has gone by so fast. I seems like just yesterday that you were still in the house here with us. I'm working the early shift today at work, that's why I'm up so early. We are shorthanded since 3 people quit and I've been getting a lot of overtime. The pay is nice, but working the extra hours gets old after a while. When I was up in South Carolina I hung out with Hailey and Michael. Hailey is the typical little 13 year old girl always wanting to hang out with her friends over her uncle. And Michael is going to be 19 towards the end of March. He is the same. Friends over family. I did get to see them both and hang out with them 1 day each out of the 5 days I was up there. It also seems like yesterday that I was 19 and wanting to do the same things he's doing now. Please say hello to Nanny and everyone else up in Heaven for me. I love and miss you so much. Your loving son, Anthony

Hi Mom, today is 50 weeks without you. I just got back from visiting Mike up in South Carolina. I got to drive around Ft. Mill and Rock Hill and Charlotte some. I hit a few bookstores and used bookstores too. I found a 100 year old version of Huckleberry Finn. It's not worth much though. The drive up and back wasn't as bad as I thought it was going to be. In fact, I liked it a lot. I was thinking about how it will be like to drive all the way to California. I'd have to make a plan and specifically set places to stop and rest so I don't waste too much time driving there. I'd like to spend 2 to 3 days driving there and then spend close to a month there and drive back. It will cost a lot of money. It's one of the last teenage dreams I have left that I haven't done. It took me 12 hours to drive up and 12 hours to drive back. Both drives I stopped twice for food. The time went by quick and I have to be back at work tomorrow at 8am. I hope you are doing ok up in Heaven. Please say hello to Nanny and everyone else for me. I love and miss you so much. Your loving son, Anthony

Happy Valentines Day Mom. I love and miss you so much.

Hi Mom, yesterday was 49 weeks without you. Today is Friday. I'm working the late shift today at the hospital. Sunday morning I'll be picking up the SUV and driving to Michael's. Sunday is also his birthday and I told him I'd be there to give him his gift. He said Hailey and him would be getting back from the east coast, Myrtle Beach around the time I get there. Hopefully he gets there before me. Regardless, I'll just drive around until he gets back. I know my way around up there. It's been almost 3 years since we went up there last, Mom. That was the last trip we made together. I hope the kids will be happy to hang out. Since they're older now I think they'll want to spend less time with the adults and more time with their friends. I may just have to take them somewhere to get their attention. I've decided to not work the night shift at work. The night shift is very exhausting and I'd rather keep working days. I'll figure out how to get back to school another way. Chris is here and I'm going to help him do something on the computer so I'll talk to you later. Please say hello to Nanny and everyone else up there for me. I love and miss you more each day. Your loving son, Anthony

Hi Mom, last week was 48 weeks without you. It's almost a year that you are gone. I can't believe it. I never went 1 week without talking to you. I had today off from work. I work the next 3 days and then Sunday morning I'll be picking up the SUV that I rented and I'll be on the road to see Michael and the kids in South Carolina for a week. I can't wait. Dad was going to come with me, but he decided not to. He'd rather stay back here and help Chris. I'll have more to say to you tomorrow. Say hello to Nanny and everyone else for me. I love and miss you so much. Your loving son, Anthony

Hi Mom, today is 47 weeks without you. I have today off from work. I just worked 3 days in a row overnights. I had yesterday off but not really because I got off yesterday morning and slept all day. Today is really a day of getting back to sleeping nights. I work tomorrow all day. I finished watching the TV show on Netflix, Bojack Horseman. It's great. I know you would have liked it. It has heart like The Simpsons in it's best years. I was thinking of going to the bookstore today up in Palm Beach. Just to get out of the area. Chris came by today. He moved out of Aunt Susie's apartment and moved in with a friend of his in Margate. Things have been ok. I'm going to Michael's in 2 weeks. I can't wait. Dad is coming with me too. I'll be sad though seeing the house we shared up there. If it wasn't for the kids then I'd just wait for Michael to come down here. Miss you still so much Mom. I think about you every day. Please say hello to Nanny and everyone else for me. I love you so much. Your loving son, Anthony

Hi Mom, today is 46 weeks without you. This week I am starting training on the overnight shift. It's not really training, it's more just showing me what is done on the overnights. For the next 3 days I will be working from 10pm until 8:30am. I'm up late tonight until 4am and then sleeping a bit in the morning. Then I'll be up for most of the day and then going to sleep again probably around 3pm so I can get up at 8pm to go to work. I had a really great week at work too. I received 2 shining stars from my co-workers. Things are looking up Mom. Hopefully I'll be able to work overnights for good. Dad had an old friend of his and yours over yesterday. His name was Johnny and he also brought his wife. I was working so I didn't get to meet them. They were only here for a few hours because they were also going to visit some other friends in the area. I still didn't ask Dad all the details about what they talked about. Mostly about life I guess. I get vacation in 3 weeks. I can't wait. Next week I'll put the reservation in for the SUV. Actually I should do it this week. I haven't seen Mikey or Hailey in over a year. I know I won't probably see too much of them either when I get up there. They're at the age where they'll want to spend most of their time with their friends so...I'll bring up the photos I have of you in the shoebox so Mike and the kids can see you at different stages of your life. I miss you so much still Mom. Please say hello to Nanny and everyone else for me. I love you. Your loving son, Anthony

Hi Mom, today is 45 weeks without you. The past few days at work have been exhausting. Yesterday and today I fell asleep as soon as I got home. It's a great job so I really don't mind. I'll be going up to see Michael and the kids in 4 weeks with Dad. I can't wait. I haven't had any time off since I got the job at the hospital. I finished the Andy and Don book based on the Andy Griffith Show and the lives of Andy and Don Knotts. It was great. I know you would have loved it. I'm sick again with a cold. It's the worse kind. It just lingers and it's not a full blown cold but I just get a sore throat and sniffles mostly at night. I know you're up there watching out for me Mom. Thanks. It is going to be weird going up to Michael's without you. Every trip we ever took was with you. I remember the last one was rough with you since it was hard for you to breathe. It will be hard to be in his house without you. Mom, you came to me in a dream last night. You were healthy but I already knew you were sick. And it was you from over 20 years ago. And we talked a bit, I can't remember what we talked about. It was so nice seeing you. I wish you'd come and see me more. Thank you. Please say hello to Nanny and everyone else for me. I love you and miss you so much Mom. I think about you every day. Your loving son, Anthony

Hi Mom, today is 44 weeks without you. I waited until today to make a post since today is 34 years since Nanny's passing. I know she's up in Heaven with you. I took some photos after I placed some flowers at her grave site and I'll post one here for you to see. They really take care of the cemetery where she's at. It looks really nice every time I go. Well, New Years Eve came and went and it went fast. I'm glad it did. I didn't want to dwell on the fact that you were not here to celebrate the New Year with us. Please say hello to Nanny and everyone else for me. I love and miss you so much. Your loving son, Anthony

Hi Mom, today is 43 weeks without you. Christmas was nice but we all missed you. I bought Dad a new cellphone. He then told me he was scared of transferring everything over to the new phone because he had a recording of you calling from the hospital. So I recorded it for him onto my phone. Hearing you brought tears to our eyes. Tomorrow is New Years Eve. I'll be working from 2:30 until 11pm. I'll have just enough time to celebrate with Dad at home. I wasn't planning on going anywhere anyway. I'm reading the Andy and Don book I bought based on Andy Griffith and Don Knotts. It's great. Remember how we would laugh at Barney on the Andy Griffith show? Have you seen either one up in Heaven? I talked to Michael and Hailey on Christmas. I told them how much you loved them. Please say hello to Nanny and everyone else for me. I love and miss you so much Mom. Your loving son, Anthony

Merry Christmas Mom! We're all thinking about you here. Please say hello and Merry Christmas to Nanny and everyone else up in Heaven for us. Your loving son, Anthony

Hi Mom, today is 42 weeks without you. It's Christmas Eve. I remember last year how into Christmas you were. I'm not into the season this year. You're not with us and the celebratory part of the holiday really doesn't feel right. Dad isn't into it at all really. I miss you like crazy Mom. I'm off for the next 2 days. Work has been crazy at the hospital. I've been coming home lately and falling right asleep. I've been very tired. Tomorrow Dad and Aunt Susie and I will be spending Christmas Eve at Thomas and Celia Kopelakis' house. Aunt Dottie and Donna and Jerry will be there and some other people too. Christmas we will be spending at home. I'm glad. I really don't feel like going out. Just want to sit in and look at some photos of you and think about how great we had it when you were still here. I love you so much. Your loving son, Anthony

Hi Mom, today is 41 weeks without you. Happy 50th Wedding Anniversary! Today you and Dad were married in New York and started your beautiful life together. Less than 2 years later you had me. I took today off from work in order to spend time at home and with Dad. He was a little upset this morning but he had some errands to run and was out for a good part of the day so keeping his mind busy is a good thing. While he was gone I cleaned up the den which is almost impossible to clean up when there are people in the house. Tomorrow is ugly sweater day at work. I bought a Christmas sweater with the Marvel Comics character Deadpool on it laying down. I doubt I will win since it's not ugly enough but I also bought it because it was cool and partially ugly so I know in future Christmas' I will have a decent sweater. I put in vacation time at work and will be going with Dad to South Carolina to visit Mike and the kids. I have off from February 11th until the 18th and hopefully I'll be able to get there to celebrate Mike's birthday. I can't wait to get up there. I haven't been there since Dad and you and I went up in early 2014. I bought a really nice frame to put some great photos of you and Dad in for your anniversary. Please say hello to Nanny and everyone else for me. I miss you more every day. I love you. Your loving son, Anthony

Hi Mom, today is 40 weeks without you. I went bowling with some co-workers yesterday at the Don Carter's lanes. We had fun. Earlier in the day I took Chris to a gig he had in Sunrise at some restaurant called The Tin Fish. He made some decent money for just 3 hours of playing his guitar and singing. Dad is at the flea market this morning selling some of the stuff that won't sell on eBay. I'll be putting the Christmas stuff up today. I have everything at the warehouse and will be picking up soon. Planning on going to see Andy with Aunt Susie later. He's still at the University Hospital Pavillion. It's almost a year since you've been gone Mom. I can't believe it. I still think about you about 50 times a day. I found out that I have Christmas off and Christmas Eve too from work. I believe that Dad and Aunt Susie and I will be going to Thomas and Celia Kopelakis' house for dinner. I'm sure Aunt Dottie will be there too. Hopefully Donna and Jerry too. And then Christmas Day Dad and Aunt Susie and I will be going up to see Carmine up in Ocala on the farm. The holiday's are all planned out. The only thing missing is you. Please say hello to Nanny and everyone else in Heaven for me. I love and miss you so much. Your loving son, Anthony

Hi Mom, today is 39 weeks without you. I had today off from work. I really needed to do nothing today and that's exactly what I did. I got a lot of needed rest. Watched a lot of TV. I just watched a cool documentary of the Jazz musician John Coltrane. It was really great. I also watched some classic TV this morning. Adam 12, Emergency!, and later in the afternoon, The Rifleman. Tonight they had some episodes of Andy Griffith with Jim Nabors in it since he died yesterday. Good TV and a lot of rest is what I needed. As much as I don't want to (just tired of the routine) I have to work tomorrow from 10am until 6:30pm. After, I probably will go to the Barnes and Noble bookstore on Glades Road just to get out. I keep thinking about doing some open mic comedy soon again. Not for a living like my dream was before but just to get up and talk about a lot of things. And have some fun too. Comedians are the best company. Especially at an open mic. Well, I'm going to take off and watch some more Gomer Pyle on MeTV since it's going to play for the rest of the night. Please say hello to Nanny and everyone else for me. I love you and miss you more everyday. Your loving son, Anthony

Hi Mom, today is 38 weeks without you. Yesterday we went to Donna's for Thanksgiving. We had a great time. Aunt Dottie was there and so was Kathy Meyer and her husband Colin and her son Peter.  Peter is Joey's age so he remembers some things from the early 80's. He remembers Aunt Ellie and Uncle Bill. He was glad when I showed him all of the photos we had of them. Donna did all of the cooking. Aunt Dottie made a Preminger's Black Out Cake and brought it over. It was delicious. Kathy and Donna went on Facebook Live with Cousin Nick's daughter and they made homemade whipped cream. We then ate some on Aunt Dottie's cake. Thomas and Celia were there too. So were a few other people too, friend's of Donna's and Paul's. Dad and Aunt Susie were there too. The only thing missing was you, Mom. You were there in spirit and in photos. Everyone loves all of the photos you and Dad saved. I'm so glad the both of you took all of those photos when we were kids and inherited all of the older one's. Thank you Mom. Please say hello to Nanny for me and everyone else too. I love you and miss you so much. Your loving son, Anthony

Happy Thanksgiving Mom. I love you and miss you more everyday. Your loving son, Anthony

Hi Mom, today is 37 weeks without you. Well, Thanksgiving is coming up this week. I have the day off from work which is nice. Dad and I and Aunt Susie will be going to Port St. Lucie to Donna's house. Aunt Dottie and Thomas and Celia will be there along with Donna's son Gerard and his family and a few others. It will be nice. Joey will be working. Chris says he'll find someplace to go. I'm already thinking how sad I am that you are not here to celebrate the holidays with us. You loved every holiday and you used to decorate the house every year. I miss you and your decorating so much. Aunt Dottie will also be missing Uncle Sammy as so will all of us. I can't believe the year has gone by so fast. I was just at the bookstore and bought Ernest Hemingway's book, "A Moveable Feast". It's about Paris in the 1920's when he was a young writer. I also bought James Franco's book "Palo Alto". I read it before but this is the movie version with an extra story in it. Can't wait to reread it. I was talking with a lot of the people I grew up with in Tamarac. I told them I was writing a movie about growing up there. They can't believe it. Haha. I had a lot of fun growing up, thanks Mom. You made life great and amazing. I find myself missing everything you do and did. Sometimes I'll be eating Italian food and realize I'll never get to eat your cooking again. You sure could cook, Mom. Please say hello to Nanny and everyone else for me. I love and miss you so much every day. Your loving son, Anthony

Hi Mom, today is 36 weeks without you. Last week Dad and I went to Donna's for dinner. Aunt Dottie was there and so was Thomas and Celia. And so was Donna's son Nick and his wife and their 2 children. We had a really nice dinner and then we looked at the photos I brought up there. We had a really great time. Dad and I and Aunt Susie are going. I am almost sure that Chris will be going to Billy's house for Thanksgiving. The holiday's are here Mom and your not. That's really hard for us. You left us way too soon Mom and I think about you every day. Today while I was eating lunch at work I was watching the Twilight Zone. The episode is about this guy who keeps living the same dream over and over. He's sentenced for murder and die in the electric chair and he keeps telling everyone that it's all just a dream but nobody will listen. At the end he's back in the courtroom where he's sentenced again and all the people who were in his dream again have all switched roles and are in his dream as different people. It's definitely one of the best one's I've seen. I remember seeing this one a long time ago but I forgot it. I hope you are having a good time with Nanny and Uncle Sammy and Uncle Nicky and everyone else. One day we will all be together again. Until then, please say hello to everyone for me. I love you so much and miss you everyday. Your loving son, Anthony

Hi Mom, today is 35 weeks without you. Tomorrow Dad and I will be going up to have dinner with Aunt Dottie and Donna and Jerry and Thomas and Cecelia. It should be fun. Chris is out of the hospital and back on the beach. I haven't had a good talk with him yet. I don't know if he will be going up to Aunt Dottie's in a couple of weeks for Thanksgiving. Halloween just passed. I know it was one of your favorite holiday's Mom. I missed you. I believe we watched Stephen King's Storm of the Century last Halloween. I'm not looking forward to spending the holiday's without you. You always decorated the house so festive every year. Thank you so much for that. Tonight we turn the clocks back one hour so we get one extra hour of sleep. This is the daylight savings time I like. I'm still thinking about you every day. Please say hello to Nanny and everyone else for me. I love and miss you so much Mom. It's hurts every day. Your loving son, Anthony

Hi Mom, today is 34 weeks without you. It's Saturday and I am working again. I don't mind though because it's all overtime pay plus pay differential. So I'm working for about $25 dollars an hour for the day. It's almost Halloween. I know how much you loved this holiday and scary movies. The Exorcist and the original Halloween were your favorites. And let's not forget Stephen King's Misery! :) We watched that about 100 times. This weekend I'm meeting up with Chris. I'm going to try to get him to go to the hospital because he says he's not been feeling well lately. Hopefully, he'll go. I'm hoping you'll make it easier for me to try to get him to go. Dad has been trying to sell some of the old books I got for free at City College a few years ago. Some of these books are from the late 1800s! Believe it or not they're not really worth much though. $20 bucks tops for a couple of them. Dad did sell one book for $50 bucks a few days ago. It took the guy almost 5 days to pay. Not bad for a profit, right? I hope everything is going great up in Heaven for you. I miss you so much. Please say hello to Nanny for me and everyone else. I love you. Your loving son, Anthony

Hi Mom, today is 33 weeks without you. Chris had his birthday this past week. I bought him a Chromebook so he would have something nice. He didn't want it though so I took it back. He asked me to get him some music stuff instead. This past week at work was pharmacy week. We got free breakfast, lunch, and dinner from all different places. It was great. I'm really fortunate to have this job. Everyone I work with is nice and smart. I've been watching this new show on Netflix that I know you would have loved. It's called Schitt's Creek. It's about this rich family who lose all of their money when their accountant didn't pay their taxes and they have to live in the town they bought years earlier as a joke. It's with Eugene Levy and Catherine O'Hara and Chris Elliott who plays the town mayor. It's really funny. I just started season 3. I know you would have loved it. I hope you are doing well up in Heaven. I miss you so much. Please say hello to Nanny and everyone else for me. I love you so much. Your loving son, Anthony

Hi Mom, today is 32 weeks without you. I went to work earlier today and worked until 6:30. After that I went to the book store and bought a nice book written by the actress Angelica Huston. Remember she played Morticia Addams in the Addams Family movies? I also bought the 23rd issue of The Simpsons Treehouse of Horror. After that I went to Danyelle's house and hung out. It was her oldest son's James' birthday. Now I am sitting at home and Dad is showing me the stuff he bought at garage sales this morning. He got a cool 3rd edition of the original Girl Scout Handbook. It hasn't been written in and it's in great shape. It's not worth much though. $10 bucks. Dad also bought me a 1975 Red Book of United States Coins. It's nice. Tomorrow I am picking Chris up at his place on the beach and taking him to the book store so he can sign up for America's Got Talent. I've been taking care of him so he can live the way he wants to. I'm still trying to find him a place to live. He's in the hotel on the beach. It's a safe place so I'm content with him being there. I still don't know if Chris is going to Donna's for Thanksgiving. I asked for the day off at work. I still don't know if I will but they know at work that I really wanted that day off so I'm sure I will. I'll have to work Christmas and New Year's Day though. I don't mind. Holiday pay is good pay. I still think about you all the time. I have a nice photo of you as my screen saver from the birthday you had in 2014. I love all of those photos of your birthday. You're smiling in all of them and you're so pretty. Please say hello to Nanny for me and everyone else too. I love you and miss you so much Mom. Your loving son, Anthony

Hi Mom, today is 31 weeks without you. I don't have to be at work today until 12:30pm so I'm just getting some rest before I go in. I'm back here in the house with Dad. Donna Kopelakis called and invited Dad and I up to Stuart for Thanksgiving. Hopefully I can have the day off from work. At the hospital we have to work at least 1 of the 3 major holidays. I told them I would work Christmas Day and New Year's Day if I could have Thanksgiving off. They told me I'd have to wait to see who wanted off. It's a group call. If more people want to have off for Thanksgiving then I may have to work. Same with Christmas and New Year's. I'm about to get ready for work now. I miss you so much. I love you. Please say hello to Nanny and everyone else up in Heaven for me. Your loving son, Anthony

Hi Mom, today is 30 weeks without you. Well, I am back in the house with Dad. I have Chris down on the beach again like he wanted. I have to give the landlord his keys back tomorrow. Dad says he's glad that I am back here. I am too. I moved most of my stuff back into the warehouse today. I am exhausted. Lately I guess I am getting old because my leg keeps cramping up on me and so does my right arm. It's still injured from throwing something a long time ago and I guess it never healed correctly because I just keep aggravating it. Plus my hands hurt. I think I am getting arthritis. I guess it's time for me to get back into shape again. Take some vitamins too. Eventually I need to get back to the doctor again. It's been about 3 years since I went to the doctor so I guess it's about time. I went to the dentist the other day. Got a filling and my teeth cleaned. I originally told them I couldn't afford the filling that day so I told them I would only be doing the cleaning. They called me back and said they would only charge me $105 dollars to do the job. This was 3 weeks ago. Yesterday I got a phone call from them saying I owe them a balance because my insurance only covered a small percentage of the bill. I told them to either cover the charge themselves or consider me a lost customer. They tried the bait and switch on me. I'm not going back. I already know what dentist I'll be going to soon is so it's all ok. Just wanted to say how much I still miss you Mom. I love you so much. Please say hello to Nanny and everyone else for me? I love you. Your loving son, Anthony

Hi Mom, today is 29 weeks without you. I am sitting in my room and I have to be at work at 2:30pm. I'm working until 11pm tonight and then I have tomorrow off. I work Sunday all day though. I'm moving my stuff out of the apartment and moving back home so I can pay for Chris to live somewhere. I know you are very happy I have decided to do this. I'm happy that I am able to do this for him. Work is going great. I like going in a working at the hospital. It's very hard work though. By the end of my shift I am exhausted. I can't wait until they put me on the overnight shift so I can start making more money and also so I can sign up for the nursing program at Broward College. I see students from the school coming in and working their hours required to complete the program and I think how one day soon I will be one of those students. It's a good feeling. I know you are proud of me for all I am doing. That's what keeps me going, Mom. I love you so much. I haven't been to Nanny lately. Every time I want to go something comes up. I will make it this weekend though. I hope you are having a good time up in Heaven. I see all the photos of you smiling and all I can think of is one day being able to see you smile at me like you used to again. I miss and love you so much, Please say hello to Nanny and everyone else for me. I love you forever. Your loving son, Anthony

Hi Mom, today is 27 weeks without you. Today we are going through a hurricane. Chris and I are together here in my apartment. Today I got up early and went to yours and Dad's place and helped him get things ready for the storm. Then I came home and got all my stuff ready. A little earlier Chris put some string on the porch railing to the ceiling at least a dozen times to help block the sliding glass door from something slamming into it. I think the windows in my room though are too thin and will pop open some time in the night. If they do I'll just move my valuables to the living room and close the bedroom door. I'm not happy that you are not here but I am happy you are not here to witness this storm. It's the biggest the state has seen in decades. Chris and I and Dad and Joey will be fine. I know you know already. I love you. Please say hello to Nanny and everyone in Heaven for me. I know you are all looking down on us and watching out for us. I miss you so much. I love you Mom. Your loving son, Anthony

Hi Mom, today is 26 weeks without you. Well Mom, I found a place for Chris to stay. So this week is ending on a good note. I'm hanging out in my apartment tonight. It's quiet and it's just me. I feel at ease. Work is going good. I've been getting the job done early and they're happy. I still have to get Chris signed up for insurance. He didn't want to sign up since he had to put all his information online. A couple of days later he said he would so I'm hoping this weekend I can get him signed up. I thought about you a lot this week Mom. Still hoping I can see you again someday. I miss you so much. Say hello to Nanny and everyone for me. I love you, your loving son, Anthony

Hi Mom, today is 25 weeks without you. I've been in the new apartment now for 3 weeks. It's nice. Too quiet though. I feel guilty if I make some kind of odd noise or if a pan drops. Work is going good too. This week I work the early shift and will get off 4:30pm every day except Wednesday. I'm falling into the routine of the job and it feels good. I have a 3 day weekend coming up soon. It'll be nice to have 3 days off in a row. Still working on getting Chris hooked up with insurance. He's coming by when I get off from work and we're going to start signing him up for it. Except for today I haven't hung out at the house with Dad in almost a week. I need to get over there more. I miss you so much. I keep thinking about the day you passed. You had been asleep for 3 days. I was able to make you say I know when you were sleeping and breathing without the mask. I kept telling you thanks for being a great Mother and not to worry because I would make sure everyone was taken care of. I'm doing it Mom. It's been tough. Please say hello to Nanny and everyone else for me? I love you so much Mom. Your loving son, Anthony

Hi Mom, today is 25 weeks without you.I'm sorry. I've now been in my apartment for 2 weeks. It took a long time to bring all of my stuff over. Going through the boxes brought back a lot of memories. I have 2 statues of Nanny's. One is the clown and the other is the girl who is kneeling. I have them both in my room. Chris is with me here. I'm trying to get him to stay here but the association won't let him. So I'm probably going to break the lease and look for another place. I have no choice. I can't let Chris be homeless. I'm going to talk to someone tomorrow about a new place to live. It's not as nice as this place but it's closer to the hospital. I'm dealing with a lot right now Mom. I know you're watching out for me and that helps me feel a little better, thanks. I'm off for the next 2 days. I'm glad too because I'm so tired. The job is going great though. Last week was 6 months without you. I can't believe that time is going by so fast. I miss you so much Mom. The hardest part is not knowing whether I will see you again. It hurts so much when I think about it. Please say hello to Nanny and everyone else for me. I love you Mom. Your loving son, Anthony

Hi Mom, today is 24 weeks without you. I can't believe I haven't seen or talked to you in 6 months. I miss you so much. I was thinking today about how selfish I feel for not trying to get you healthy about 10 years ago. I should have tried harder and got you to quit sooner. I'm sorry Mom. I remember when we still lived in the house and I caught you smoking in the shed when you were putting the clothes in the washing machine. I should have made you quit then. But you begged me to buy you some cigarettes and I did. Hearing you cry for cigarettes hurt so much Mom. I remember when you were nice to me and you would beg me to buy you a pack. I loved how you did that. :) I would always cave in Mom because I love you. But now you're gone. I wish I can see you again. I would hug you so hard. I remember when it was 1 week without you. It hurt so much. It still hurts like that. Please say hello to Nanny and everyone else for me? I love you Mom. Your loving son, Anthony

Hi Mom, today is 23 weeks without you. I'll be moving into my new apartment tomorrow. Not really wanting to leave Dad and the condo we lived at. Tonight is my last night. I have all my stuff there already. I'm working this weekend both Saturday and Sunday. Not really wanting to because it's the weekend but....Dad and I watched a good movie tonight. Midnight in Paris. Where the writer who is spending time in Paris with his bride to be every night at midnight goes back in time and sees all the great writers who spent time in Paris in the 1920s. Great movie. I know you've seen it before. I think I watched it with you. If I remember correctly you liked it. Mom, can you do me a favor? Send me a sign. Do something or leave something somewhere so I know you hear me? I never really believed anyone who said they got a sign from someone in Heaven before. But I hope you're still around me and watching over me. Let me know somehow. I'll be looking out for you. I love you so much and miss you every day. Say hello to Nanny and everyone else. Your loving son, Anthony

Hi Mom, today is 22 weeks without you. I'm almost moved out into my own apartment. I'm really happy and a bit sad because I really didn't want to leave the condo where I lived with you and Dad. Whenever I am there I still feel you there. All of your things are there. You ARE still there Mom. I miss you every day.
So much has gone on this last week. I know you know all of it. As I'm typing this Dad is on the phone with Andy and it seems Andy is going through one of his episodes again. He's losing his mind a little more each day. I feel really bad for him. Aunt Susie is losing her mind too since she has to put up with him. I really would like to go there but handling the things I have to handle (you know what I am talking about) I have almost no free time. I may go over there on Sunday if I have all the stuff moved out of the warehouse. I talked to Aunt Dottie a couple of days after her birthday. Thomas Kopelakis told Dad and I called her that night. I feel bad that I missed her birthday. I wanted to wish her a nice one and I did but it was late.
The bronchitis I had is gone but I still have a bit of a cough. That's the sickest I've ever been. I can guarantee that it's all from working at the hospital. I felt horrible last week so I called out sick 2 days. I really enjoy working there. The only thing is the job is very demanding. There is so much to do while you are working and there is so much to do before you leave. The hardest part of the job is that they stick you with a batch of medicines to make and draw up 45 minutes before you have to leave, right at the busiest time. Everyone complains and I can see why. But I like the job and everyone there is decent and hardworking and they chip in help when you need it. The hardest job there is the IV room. I went over on time this week 1/2 hour today because I wanted to prove to them that I could do the job. I didn't want to leave the work for someone else to do because I don't like leaving someone else "my job". Sure I'm going to get a talking to since I was supposed to leave early today but I won't get in any real trouble. I'll just get a talking to. But it was very important for me to show them I could do the job. So I feel good.
Today I was in the bookstore after dropping Chris off and as I was walking around I thought of how much you like the movie Mystic River. It's a great movie. I feel bad though because I remember one of the last days that you were in the house you asked me if I wanted to watch it and I told you no because we watched it at least 6 times in the last year and I was tired of seeing it. I'd give anything to see it with you again. I miss you every day Mom. I think about you all the time. I try being a better person with everyone because I know you always asked me to be nice to people especially Chris and Joey and Mike. It's hard sometimes but I do. Please say hello to Nanny and everyone for me. I love you so much Mom. I love you.
Your loving son, Anthony

Hi Mom, today is 21 weeks without you. Well, I'm no longer training at the hospital. I am working by myself. I'm still in training for the chemo room though. That takes a little bit more time. Chris and I almost have the place next to the Coral Square Mall. I'm just waiting for the association to approve me. They still don't know Chris will be staying with me. I figured I would move him in and after a month I'll ask to have him put in as a permanent resident. I could use a little help if you could Mom. :) Dad is going to stay here since he doesn't want to spend the savings he has. I think it's best too. I found out today I have bronchitis. I had to go to University Hospital this morning and see the doctor. They took a chest x-ray and told me what I had. All I have to do is take the antibiotics they prescribed. I took 2 of them this morning and I felt better already this afternoon. I feel pretty good tonight too. Hopefully I'll be able to sleep instead of getting up 3 times in the middle of the night like I have been doing the last 3 nights. I miss you so much. Please say hello to Nanny and everyone else up there for me. I love you. Your loving son, Anthony

Hi Mom, Today is 20 weeks without you. I can't believe it's been 5 months since you left us. I miss you every day. I'm almost done getting my first apartment in a long time. I wish you could be here to see how good I'm doing. I know you'd be proud. I know you're already proud of what I am doing for Chris. I just wish you were here to see me and I could see you too. Aunt Susie is having a tough time with Andy since he developed alzheimer's. He forgets a lot. I'm glad that you made up with Aunt Susie and Andy a few months before you left us. I like Andy. He was always very nice and always had good stories to tell about when he was young and living in New York. It's a shame he's going through this. I can't wait until this week is over. I'm tired of searching for an apartment and filling out paperwork. It's exhausting and tedious. Once I get into this place (I'm hoping to get in) I can relax a little knowing it's all done. I should have the answer by next week. Please say a good prayer for me Mom? I really need the apartment. You already know why. How's everyone up in Heaven? I hope you are all having a good time waiting for us. I know you're up there laughing with Nanny and your brother and sisters. I love you and miss you so much Mom. I know one day we will see each other again. I'll bring you a Wendy's Frosty. I know you'll love it. Please say hello to everyone for me. I love you so much. Your loving son, Anthony

Hi Mom, Today is 19 weeks without you. I think this is my last week of training at the hospital. Next week I am starting without a trainer. I'm glad too. I feel I don't need any training anymore. Whatever else there is to learn I feel I will learn as I go. I know all the important stuff though and that's what's getting me through. For your birthday I posted a bunch of photos of you on Facebook. I also posted the video of us singing you Happy Birthday on your birthday in 2014. I love that video. I wish I had taken more. I do have a lot of video of you and Dad took a bunch too. I've been looking for an apartment in Coral Springs close to work and I think I'm going to be living in the complex that I lived in almost 20 years ago. It's right off Sample Road and is only about a mile from the hospital. The rent is almost $1100 so it's not too expensive although that is a lot of money. I'm planning on having Chris stay with me so he doesn't have to worry about a roof over his head and he can concentrate on doing his music and getting to the doctor regularly. I am also looking to get him hooked up with medicaid. I told you I would look out for everyone Mom. Dad is going to the doctor on the 20th which is next week. He is having trouble with some feeling in his feet and he thinks it's from the diabetes. I also wanted him to get his leg checked out. He has spider veins on the back of his calf and they look bad to me. Hopefully they're not worse than they look. Please say hello to everyone for me. Give Nanny a kiss too. I love you and miss you so much Mom. Your loving son, Anthony

Happy 68th Birthday Mom! Today is 18 weeks without you. We all were waiting for this day to come. I took today off from work with pay so I could think about you. Tomorrow I'll be getting some of my favorite photos of you blown up so we can have photos of you in the house on the walls. I visited Nanny and put flowers at her grave for us last Saturday. I've been thinking of her a lot lately. You both are finally together again. And with Aunt Ann and Aunt Ellie and Uncle Nicky too. I hope you all are having fun. Today I made a roadtrip to pick up Chris. He's driving since he hates me driving. We're on the road in Georgia right now. Hopefully we'll be home before midnight so I can wish you a Happy Birthday at the house. I miss you terribly Mom. Please say hello to everyone for me. I love you so much. Your loving son, Anthony

Hi Mom, today is 17 weeks without you. Everything is going good on the job. I am almost done with training. I'll be starting overnights after next week and then I think I will be finished. This week coming up is the 4th of July week so I'll only be working 3 days and getting paid for 5. Next Friday is your birthday. I wish you were still here to celebrate with us. I'm going to go through a bunch of the photos and pick out a couple of favorites and see if I can get them blown up and put in a nice picture frame. Dad found some old coins at a garage sale last weekend. All of them are from the 1900s. The week Dad and I went to the flea market I found some coins and a couple of them were from the late 1800s! Those are really cool. This weekend I'm going to get out and see if I can find some coin books to put them in and some coin sleeves so nobody can handle them anymore. I'm going to call Patricia this weekend and send her a couple of photos I got off Aunt Dottie a couple of weeks ago. I'm sure she'll like the one of Aunt Ellie and Uncle Bill with their kids and you holding cousin Susan. That's a great photo. I really miss you Mom. Sometimes I think all of this is a dream and I'll wake up and see you. I get up in the middle of the night and it reminds me of when I used to get up and see if you were ok and if you still had the oxygen mask on. I used to worry about you all the time. The house is really empty without you here. You really made this place a home. Thanks Mom. I love you and miss you so much, Your loving son, Anthony

Hi Mom, today is 16 weeks without you. Dad and I went and saw Aunt Dottie last weekend. It was a nice visit. Your cousin Eleanor was there helping out Aunt Dottie since she is still recovering from breaking her hip. Aunt Dottie showed Dad and I her photos of you. She gave them to me so I could scan them and have copies for myself. In one of the photos you are standing with Nanny in front of the house you lived in when you moved to Miami in the late 50s early 60s. And then another photo you and Nanny are with Grandpa Frank DeFranco. I'm going to find the house and take a drive to see it hopefully in the next month. My job is going really great. I think I'll be off training soon. They only thing I haven't seen or performed myself is preparing a chemo medication. That's dangerous and I think they're going to show me that soon. I talked to Mikey up in South Carolina a few days ago. He's working with Michael at Lowe's. He says he likes the job. He'll be starting college soon. Hard to believe that he's that old already. I still think about you every day. I love hearing Aunt Dottie talk about you. She says you were one tough little girl. I miss you so much Mom. Please say hello to Nanny and everyone for me. I love you. Your loving son, Anthony

Hi Mom, today is 15 weeks without you. Dad and I are going to see Aunt Dottie this Saturday. I like driving up. Getting away for the day feels good. Work at the job is going great. Everything is all falling into place and I think I'll be off training in a couple of weeks. I had a dream about you last night. We were driving in a car and you were in bad shape. You looked over at me and said cardiac arrest. I started crying. I woke up soon after. I never wanted to see you go. Dad has this beautiful photo of you and him on your wedding day blown up in a nice frame in your room. Both of you look amazing. I also found your box of mementos in the closet. I didn't know you saved my Silver Lakes Middle year book and Tamarac Book of Records. Thanks Mom. The Book of Records really throws me back. I remember how you used to go up to the school to talk to the teachers about me. Thank you for that. I love you so much Mom. I still cannot believe that you are gone. It doesn't seem real. I'm so glad Dad and you took all those photos. I love seeing you smiling in a photo. Please say hello to Nanny and everyone for me. I love you so much Mom. Your loving son, Anthony

Hi Mom, Today is 14 weeks without you. Work is going great. I've been in the IV room almost every day since I saw you last. There really is a lot of training that goes into this job. I still haven't prepped a chemotherapy drug yet though. That's vital medication and dangerous to make. I'll be watching one being made tomorrow. We saw Jennifer Gonzalez and her family including Rod last Sunday. It was nice to see them. Jennifer had a lot of friends come out and we took some photos with Athena's Mom and Athena and Rod at the end just before we all left. It's sad to see people from that long ago because it makes you realize how much time has gone by. Decades. I can't believe we've known them since the early 70s. I was just dreaming about you. You were laying down and I asked you if you wanted me to rub your legs like I used to do when you said they hurt. I was rubbing them and then I can't remember what happened next but I had stopped. Just before waking up I heard Chris call my name. It was like he was right here in the room and I immediately woke up. I heard Dad crying a couple of times this week. I know he still misses you. I immediately tear up because I miss you too. I feel like you are away on vacation or something and you'll be coming back soon. I'm holding on to soon. It's really hard knowing the reality. You were such a strong presence in the house here Mom. I miss you so much. How is everything with Nanny? Please tell her I said hello. I hope you are meeting all of your family there and having a good time. I also hope you're able to get a Wendy's Frosty there too. :) I know you loved them so much. Please have fun. I miss and love you so much Mom. Your loving son, Anthony

Hi Mom, today is 13 weeks without you. I'm really coming along at the hospital. I've been picking things up pretty quickly and they like that. The last 2 days I've been making IV bags with the medication. I really like this job. I went and saw Nanny's grave this Saturday and put roses in her cup. I stayed there for about 20 minutes thinking of you and her and the time we lived with her at her house in Miami. This Sunday Dad and I will be going to a party that Jennifer Gonzalez is holding for her son who graduated high school. She sent us an invitation a couple of months ago. It's only for a few hours. Jennifer and her husband Julio and Judy Gonzalez came to see you at the funeral home. It was good to see them. Jennifer is a smart girl. I'm glad she did something with her life. Next weekend Dad and I will be going up to see Aunt Dottie again. I can't wait. I really like seeing Aunt Dottie. I like showing her the old photos. Hopefully we can see Donna and Jerry too. I got ahold of their son Gerard and sent him some photos that I thought were him and Nick when they were kids at the house on 70th avenue but he told me they weren't him or his brother. Then I asked Dad who they were in the photo and he said they were a couple of Joey's friends in the neighborhood. Haha. I still think about you every day Mom. I miss you so much. I still can't believe your gone. You did such an amazing job raising us I can't thank you enough. I love you. See you next week. Your loving son, Anthony

Hi Mom, today is 12 weeks without you. Everything at the hospital is fine. I am still training and this week one other trainee is training under me since I have been working there longer. I love this job. Everyone I work with is nice too. Dad and I were going to see Aunt Dottie this weekend but she is going away so we'll see her in a couple of weeks along with Donna and Jerry too. I can't wait to bring her some photos. Last weekend I was sick and didn't get out of the house at all. I barely made it to work Monday. So I'll be going to see Nanny this weekend. Still miss you so much. Was watching Andy Griffith and saw some episodes that we watched together. It's not the same watching it without you. I still do though. I hope you and Nanny and everyone else up there is having a good time. Aunt Ellie, Uncle Nicky, Aunt Ann, Uncle Bill, and Uncle Sammy too. I love you so much Mom. Your loving son, Anthony

Hi Mom, today is 11 weeks without you. My job at the hospital is going great. They like me there and I am learning things quick enough to where they are comfortable letting me do things on my own sometimes. I missed you on Mother's Day. It's hard not to see your smiling face especially on that day. This weekend I'll be going out to see Nanny again and I'll put some flowers at her grave for us. Still not done going through all the photos of you. I'm so glad we have so many of them. I sent Susan, Patricia, Kathy, and Susan's daughter Stephanie all the photos I found of Aunt Ellie and them from the 60s and 70s. They were so happy. I spoke to all of them on Mother's Day too. I dreamt about you last night and the night before too. Both times were about the same thing. You were around and healthy. In one dream, Dad and I were doing something at some house we were staying at and we told you we were going to meet you at another place we were staying at. And we left you all night. The next morning we saw you and you were crying. I can't remember too much of the other dream but I know it was similar. Those dreams are hard to wake up from. I would love to see you again Mom. I hope there is a Heaven. I'd love to hug you again. Losing you was tough. I see the photo of you smiling that we had printed on your card and it makes me think of when you were at the hospital and you told me to bring the Stephen King movie Storm of the Century. The way you said, "Bring Storm of the Century tomorrow with Andre Lenoge...."...and then smiled. That was one of the last times I saw you smile. I miss you so much. Please say hello to Nanny for me. I love you Mom. Your loving son, Anthony

Hi Mom, today is 10 weeks without you. I have been settling in my new job well. They like me there and so far I am learning things pretty quickly. I have the same schedule next week and I'll be loading machines on the floors like I have been doing. Maybe next week they'll have me go by myself. The week after next is when I will be doing IV training. I should do well. I've done it before in school. I know what to expect. I talked to Aunt Ellie's daughters Kathy, Patricia, and Susan Tuesday. I sent them some photos of them when they were younger. We all agree that it's a shame we didn't keep in touch all these past years. But we'll keep in touch now. I need to give Paul Kopelakis and Thomas and Donna a call sometime today or tomorrow. Just to see what they've been up to and how they are doing. I have been looking at the old photos again and I love every photo that you are in. You were the best Mom. You were always there for me. I so appreciate it and because we were so close I miss you so much still and I know I will forever. I love you so much. I will stop by and say hello to you on Sunday, Mother's Day. Your loving son, Anthony

Hi Mom, today is 9 weeks without you. I've started the job at Coral Springs. It's an amazing job. I'm not only stocking the machines on the floors for the patients, I'm also making IV bags and chemotherapy medication bags for them as well. I haven't done any of that yet because they are still training me. I have been helping with stocking the machines though. It's a great job. I know you'd be proud of me. I was looking at some of the old photos last night. I love looking at you at different stages of your life. I miss those days. I kept some of them off to the side so I can scan them. I really like the ones from Christmas time. You really loved decorating the house. That's why I love decorating too. Some of those photos have family in them that I haven't seen in awhile. I'm going to bring them up to Aunt Dottie and show them to her in a few weeks. Hopefully we'll be able to see Donna too. She had a cold last time so we couldn't stop there. I really got sad looking at all of those photos because I miss you so much. I know I will always miss you and just knowing you're not coming back is sinking in and bothering me. I love you so much. Please say hello to Nanny for me. I love you forever, your loving son, Anthony

Hi Mom, today is 8 weeks without you. I still think about you every day. Tomorrow is my last day at the hospital in Ft. Lauderdale. I start working at Coral Springs on Monday. I know you're happy for me. I'm excited and nervous at the same time. I'll make you proud though. I'm on my way to being a nurse! :) I love how you used to brag to the nurses and other people in the hospital that I worked there too. Thanks Mom. You're the best. Dad and I saw Aunt Dottie again this past weekend. She seemed a little more mobile than the last time we saw her. She's only using a cane instead of a walker. Her leg was bothering her though. She refuses to take pain meds though. I'm going to see Nanny this weekend at her grave. I'll bring some flowers and say a prayer for you too when I'm there. I've been posting pictures of you on Facebook and everyone loves them. They love you Mom! :) I'm going to post a couple more tonight. I love you so much. I've been watching the videos I made of me singing to you while you were sleeping. They are hard to watch. I just can't help it. I still cannot believe you are not here anymore. I just doesn't seem real. You are always on my mind Mom. I hope I can see you soon in my dreams. I love dreaming of you. I love you, Your loving son, Anthony

Hi Mom, Today is 7 weeks without you. I miss you so much. Dad and I are going to see Aunt Dottie and Donna again this weekend. I can't wait to see Aunt Dottie. I like going to see her. I'm going to have her tell me who some of those relatives are in the older photos of you as a little girl are. I never knew you had those. I'm so glad I have them. I start working at the hospital on May 1st. They'll be training me. Nanny's birthday was on April 11th. I put some flowers by her grave. I hope you and her are having fun up in Heaven. They came out with a new version of Mystery Science Theater 3000. I got Netflix to watch it. I know you hated that show but I wish you could have watched it with me a few times. I know you would have liked it. I miss you every day Mom. I think about you still all the time. I love you so much. Please have fun with Nanny and tell her I said hello. I love you Mom. Your loving son, Anthony

Hi Mom, it's Anthony. Today is 5 weeks now that you are gone. We went to go see Aunt Dottie and Donna a couple of weeks ago. She misses you so much too. Dad and I went up. Thomas K and Celia were there too. It was a nice day. We sat around and talked of all the good times we had with you. I brought alot of photos of you and everyone. Dad and I are going up again the Saturday after Easter. I still think about you all the time. The Walking Dead season finale was great. I wish you could have seen it. I hope Heaven is how we think it is down here. I am looking forward to seeing you and Nanny again. It would be so great to hug you again. I got the job in Coral Springs. I bet if you were still going there you'd be proud to say I worked there too. I know you were proud of me Mom. I was so proud of you too. You gave me so much love and confidence. Thank you. Your loving son, Anthony

Hi Mom, it's Anthony. Well time just keeps moving on. It's now 4 weeks since you left. I still feel the same. As time goes on it's sinking in that you're really gone. I miss you so much. I think about you almost all day. If it wasn't for work keeping me busy it would be all day. It's my birthday tomorrow and it's the first one you won't be a part of. That hurts. It's not your fault though. You'll always be with me. There's so many photos of you here in the house. You're so beautiful Mom. There are so many of you as a little girl. I'm so glad to have those. I will never stop thinking about you. I love you so much forever. Thank you for all you did for me. I love you. Your loving son, Anthony

Hi Mom, it's been 3 weeks and I miss you so much. I think about you all day and night. I hope to see you again someday. I love you so much Mom. Your loving son, Anthony

Hey Mom, It's been 2 weeks since I've seen and heard you. I think about you all the time. I love you so much. Please say hello to Nanny. I bet she was happy to see you after so long. Love you Mom always and forever. Your loving son, Anthony

Hi Mom miss you and love you.I'm always thinking about you and your always with me.Love Michael

Hey Mom, I'm still thinking about you. It's been 10 days and I miss you so much. Your loving son, Anthony

OBITUARY

Marie B Fazio

July 7, 1949 – March 2, 2017

Kraeer Funeral Home & Cremation Center

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