Six years ago you had to leave us. Your heart just couldn’t work that hard anymore. I know I will always be sad that you are not here. My life goes on day after day and it never feels complete. I am still having trouble processing your passing because I have never had the opportunity to grieve for you properly. No memorial service, and no funeral. I don’t know how to do it on my own. I miss you so much momma. A sound, a song, a smell… these things take me by surprise and can take me to my knees because it hurts so much. I listened to your voice on my birthday. It made me smile and cry at the same time.  One day I pray I will see you again and hear your voice in person. I will hug you and tell you how much I love you. 
Love you momma.
Kerri

Your birthday was yesterday. I miss you just as much today as ever. Now your Peachy pumpkin is with you. I added some more pictures to this memorial page and there are so many people in the pictures that are missed. I hope you are all together. So much in my life has happened since you have been gone and I wish that I could tell you everything, share everything and listen to your voice. My heart has not healed from the loss of you and most days I’m still so sad and lonely without you. I miss my momma and my best friend. I know I will never not miss you. It doesn’t matter how old I am I will always miss and need you. I love you with all of my heart.

Oh Cheryl I can hardly believe that it will be a year from this coming Wednesday when you left me. My heart is still broken and I wander about the house day by day looking at your picture and wishing it were possible for you to come back. I miss the closeness we had, the tenderness we shared and what we said to each other before we said goodnight. I will always love you to the end of time and beyond.  I miss the conversations we had and the both of us overcoming issues as they occurred. I have always hard a  time expressing my feelings in this manner as I've always kept those feelings close except with you. You were and always will be my soul mate, my one and only love. God keep you with him. Rest my love, rest.
Bob

On 08/18/1970 at 12:08 pm I was born. It was hot and humid  like August always is. 
Every year on my birthday you told me this. Who Pam and Jeff stayed with, how much I weighed and how long I was. 
You made sure I knew and how much I am loved. 
This is my first birthday without you and 4 days from now a year since you had to leave us. You may or may not know this but last year on my birthday you gave me the most  precious gift. At the time I didnt realize what it would come to mean for me. I was at work so I missed your first call. You left me a birthday message on my phone. I have the message archived so I can listen to your voice when I need my momma so much it hurts and every year on my birthday- just like I did today. The physical pain of losing you has ebbed some but the sadness I feel is in my heart every day. Not one day goes by that I dont think of you or talk to you. Today is supposed to be a happy day but for me it is bittersweet. Because of you I had the privilege of being your daughter and having you in my life but sad because I miss you so much and I just want you back. 
I love you momma. 
Thank you for my life and for all of the love you gave me. 

It's 7:30 on a rainy Sunday morning in November. It's a perfect day to do laundry and watch football. Which of course I will do. Like normal Penny has me awake early. Doggies don't care if it's the weekend. Since I was last writting here I lost my kitty Lilo. She was so sick. I miss her snuggles and loud kitty talking. She was such a great kitty. I sent daddy a big box of goodies for his birthday. I would have liked to have been there instead but stupid work puts a damper on travel. You know I' m not very good about being on the phone but I try. I know he has a difficult time being there alone. I would too. Dad doesnt like to text and I dont like talking on the phone! Somehow we manage to do some of both. I know I will not get home for Thanksgiving. I work Friday every year. Its my trade off to have time to travel for Christmas. Id rather be home then instead. I will not fight daddy this year if he does not want company for Christmas. I want to be there with him because it will be hard for both of us but if he wants to be alone this year I understand. I know its not because he doesnt want to see me. I know its because its a time for him to have privacy with his grief. And daddy- if you are reading this- its okay. I will do what you need and want. As I told you at the beginning of the summer  we were looking for a new house. That was put on hold until recently. We finally were able to buy a home! I am very excited about this! After renting this place for 6yrs we will have our own home again. Its big and beautiful. Lots of space and storage! I will actually have closets. You dont realize how important that is until you dont have them! I have a list of items from us and daddy for the home inspection tomorrow. Dave and Sammi will take pictures too. I wish I could tell you all about it and bring you to see it. I know you would like it too. Im going to take lots of pictures for daddy. Im hoping after we get his hips taken care of that I can get him here. I want him to be a part of this too! He would have to drive to bring Peachy pumpkin too but he has lots of places to stop and stay to and from if needed or wants to. I spent yesterday cleaning and packing. Today will be more of the same. And football. Always football! I love you momma. I may not write here every day but you are on my mind and in my heart every day.

The days that pass are still so difficult without you. Ive been reading books about whether or not there is a Heaven. I know we were born and raised Roman Catholic and its supposed to be automatic that we believe. I have not been to a church of any kind since grandpa passed away except when Uncle Bruce passed away. These days Sunday mornings are when I go grocery shopping with the other sinners who dont go to church either as you know. There are definately common themes in these books. God sits on the throne with Jesus at his right hand and Gabriel at his left. Angels and beauty and all of the loved ones who have gone before us. Colors not heard of on earth and surrounding love. It sounds wonderful. I want to believe. After all of the misery and horrors on earth I want to believe there is a place called Heaven. This is something I have to do on my own. No one can help me. I do like to believe that the cardinals are our loved ones who have passed checking on us and bringing us comfort. Usually they are all over my back yard singing. Ive not seen or heard one cardinal since you have passed. Its so strange. One day they were there- the next they were not and have not been back. Cardinals are all seasons birds. Thier songs in spring and summer are beautiful and in winter when all is dull the bright red of thier feathers are majestic. No cardinals. I know you did not want services. We have honored your wishes. I must tell you that this decision has been very difficult for those of us still here. There has been no closure. No real grieving process. We are all grieving seperately instead of with all of our loved ones. Ive seen daddy, Pam and Reagan. Ive still not seen the boys at all. Ive not seen any of our extended family and we are all so sad. I wish I knew how to fix it. My life is so dull without you. Nothing was real until I talked to you. You were always my first person to talk to about everything. I can hear you say to me- well you have to get past it Kerri because it isnt going to change. Momma you are right. This is not going to change and I know for a fact Im not going to get past it. This must be how you felt when grandma and grandpa passed on. I was unaware of how difficult it really was. Im so sorry for that momma. I remember Sharese saying it never gets easier. I dont think its supposed to. Most life lessons are not easy. They shouldnt be or we dont appriciate the good we do get to expierience in life. I just wish I knew what it is all for...

Momma, I went home over the weekend to see daddy. This was the hardest thing I've ever done. My feelings of love and loss were overwhelming. You are missed so much by all of us. It's been a month since you went to heaven and my grief is still just as strong. I'm so lost without you.

Momma every day seems so long. It takes much more effort to make myself get out of bed and face it. I try to keep myself busy all of the time. No matter what I do or when you are with me. Out on the river last night and this morning was so peaceful. We watched a storm roll through at sunset. This morning was perfect. Beautiful sunrise. The chill in the air. You could see the fog rolling down the river. So quiet you could hear the water flowing. I detest camping so you know there was a cabin with running water or I would not have gone! Im so glad I did. I had forgotten the complete serenity of being out of the city and how it feels. Free from the stress of jobs and daily chores. The first time I have truely enjoyed anything since you have been gone. Nothing is the same. I know its not supposed to be and it never will be. Right now I feel like the best part of who I was is gone. I miss you so much. I just wanted to share this with you. I know you understand. I love you momma.

This morning, it was so beautiful outside. My frst thought was "I should sit on the porch and call Mom." I told the Lord to tell you good morning and that I love you.

Momma, you have always been my inspiration.

The days go long but my heart is still with you Cheryl. You are my soul mate and one and only love. I can't wait until we are reunited. Your loving husband Bob

I had the pleasure of having Cheryl as a mother in law when Jeff and I were married. She was a wonderful mother to her children and a wonderful wife to Bob. When her first grandchild to Keri was born, she was on cloud nine and always smiled when she talked about him. I wish I could have seen and talked to her one more time. She is now at peace. 

I love you and miss you, Mommy! Even in my pain, I am so glad that you are in heaven with Jesus. I wish I could talk to you just one more time and say all the things we should say again. I can't remember if I told you that I love you the last time we spoke, but I know that you know I love you with all my heart. I will carry your love and all my memories of you in my heart until I see you once again.

Mom.....I have tried to think of the words to say to you. I miss you, and will miss our phone calls every week, calls on Halloween, and especially your passion for Christmas and chocolate covered cherries. No more suffering and no more pain Mom. I love you! Please be at peace, and the rest of us you had to leave behind know you are with us. Love, Jeff Dudik

In 1993 when I met Kerri, I also had the pleasure of meeting you & Bob. You each made me feel like part of the family and your constant humor and good-natured ribbing will be sorely missed.

Whenever Kerri would call you I'd always be sure to pipe in with a "Hello, Chair-awl" to which you'd always reply, "Hello, Dabbid!" 

You were always more than just a mother in law and I never had any problems just calling you Mom. I'll forever be glad that I was able to know you.

-Dave

Cheryl was a very good friend of ours , and will  be missed.

Sis -- Know as we talked many times - We are here for a reason. Perhaps it becomes more clear as we go from one life to another. Know you were ready for peace and NO more pain. You set an example that I hope I can follow. God has you in his arms. The hurt and emptiness that I feel with you gone no words describe. We will see you again in the afterlife. Love you so much.  Char

Love of my life you have gone to a better place, My heart hurts with the loss of you. Love you forever.

I'm so happy to be able to come here and see your beautiful face. When I close my eyes I can hear your voice so clear. I have pictures in my heart that will always be there. I couldn't call daddy tonight after I saw your picture. I couldn't bring myself to speak out loud. I know he understands. Seeing this in writing- my eyes see it, my brain knows it but my heart says this can't be true. I'm selfish. I want you back. I'm not ready for you to leave me yet. I haven't grown up enough yet or learned everything you needed to teach me yet. I am so very fortunate that you are my momma. I really hope you gave Saint Peter a piece of your mind and gave God a few choice words! I have a few words for them myself one day.

The love of my live I will miss you until we are reunited. Bob

Momma. I love you.I miss you. Every second of every day.

The best Mother-in-Law was taken home. We will miss you and your chocolate covered cherries every Christmas. I was so very lucky to have you in my life.

OBITUARY

Cheryl Sue Dudik

March 11, 1942 – August 22, 2017

Swan-Law Funeral Directors

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