She is survived by her brother, Fred Brown, and 8 children: Cynthia, Dan, Wayne, Dave, Christi, Forrest, Joe and Don. She’s been blessed with 18 grandchildren, 14 great-grandchildren and 10 great-great-grandchildren. She’s been a shining light in our lives, and we will continue shining her light for the rest of our days.
With this news the family has been mourning the loss of a role model, friend, and confidant. We want to honor mom’s love of life with a jubilant memorial, where all emotions are welcomed and encouraged. BJ, being a proud Scottish woman, wanted us all to get together, to get along, to be real and raw, and to enjoy life while celebrating her.
“I am not truly gone if you keep me in your heart. Speak to me when you are in need and know that I will hear. Reminisce and laugh at experiences we shared and I’ll forever be alive. I am still your family, I am still your friend, death cannot change that.” BJ
Our Mother was born in Grants Pass, OR in June of 1926. At a very young age her mother and father split, leaving her and her brother with her mother and family, never seeing her father again. Bonnie’s mother went into the hospital when she was seven and died of tuberculosis years later, leaving Bonnie and her little brother Fred with the second husband she married while in the hospital. Fred left home at 13 and Bonnie at 17. It was a very different time. With the weight of WWII upon the country, Bonnie joined the Navy and shipped out to nursing school for training. She eventually was stationed at Oakland Naval Hospital. Being very shy and prettier than most, it did not take long to catch the eye of her only love, a well-proportioned and handsome Armenian sailor named Dan Stephanian. Bonnie and Dan gave life to eight children during their 31 years of marriage, keeping her maternity clothing in demand for more than two decades.
“Honey, you have a right to be happy.” BJ
Our mother could always be counted on for solid reasoning, rational points and praise, never having much interest in the superficial. Ever careful not to compliment one child over the other, we would bring our problems to her, and she would say things like, “Oh honey it’s not that bad, make a game of it.” She became well versed in problem solving and could always come up with good ideas for handling conflicts. “You kids, instead of punching each other in the face, why not roll up newspapers and beat each other senseless in the backyard? You know, make a game of it.” She would love that this game is still remembered by us. She was not one to be crossed and had no patience for stupidity. She could be a formidable adversary.
“Stop acting like a jackass and I’ll quit treating you like one.” BJ
Some of her many impressive accomplishments:
After being a Navy Wave in WWII, she reenlisted in the Army during the Korean conflict. She was a proud American, honored in the Women’s National Memorial in Washington, DC. She was an avid reader, which fed her imagination. She read thousands of books keeping a list of all by name and author. She later went on to study writing. It became one of her passions, writing many novels, short stories and poems. She published her newsletter for over 20 years and later published two books that are available to all. While raising her children, she also worked very hard and became a CEO of one company when needed, and later the President of another thriving company. Because she never knew much family as a child, she spent decades fascinated with genealogy. She spent hours at the archives in Washington DC compiling countless names and connections of her lineage. She has her family connected to most every significant figure you can imagine. She was most proud of the many connections to the Mayflower passengers, Presidents, Daniel Boone, the James’ Brothers, Belle Star and others much farther back like Charlemagne in England. The latter is why she always referred to the Queen of England as her cousin. She loved to share this information with her kids, grandkids and all that would listen. She was an amazing source of information. Her passion for genealogy has not gone unnoticed. She has shared her data with large providers of information to countless families throughout the world. From Ancestery.com to the Mormon Church, helping many find their past.
“During the war, if it wasn’t for late-night park benches and dark corners, there would be far less mouths to feed…by half.” BJ
She survived eight children and their teenage years, might that be counted as 56 rounds and still standing? We think that made her the champ, right? Bonnie promoted her grandchildren all along the way and it’s safe to say that she was very successful on that account as well. She liked to call herself, “Fertile Myrtle”, meaning that when she would visit one of her children she could be found slipping in a hint or two about the possibility of future birth announcements, then having great results time after time.
“You kid’s just do what comes naturally.” BJ
Survivor of the Great Depression, sixteen contrasting administrations, a world war, devastating conflicts, national gas shortages, and diapers (before actual diapers). Never having any interest in drugs or alcohol, deceit or false witness, BJ kept her chin up through divorce, recessions, bankruptcy, and even the pandemic. The heat of 95 summers and chilling winters never shook her spirit. She had zero tolerance for prejudice, discrimination, bias or bigotry. What an exquisitely beautiful woman she truly was.
At the age of ninety-five, during her final moments, she still had the wherewithal to awaken and tell Forrest how much she loved him and thankful that he was there beside her. He announced her passing to all of us by telling us that he was whispering all our names into her ear as she departed.
Speaking for the entire family, in our lives there’s been few people as special as our mother, BJ Gardner. She was someone that we felt deeply connected to, and even though she is gone now, we feel her presence throughout our days.
“You’re never gone till your forgotten.” BJ
The Family invites all her Family, Friends and Friends of Family and Friends to a Grand Celebration of Life in honor of BJ Gardner. It will be held outside her favorite window to the world on May 14th from 5-11p. It will be Potluck style as to be all inclusive of the attendees. She loved food and friendship. There will be music and laughter.
Please leave a note and contact information, so all who wish to join can be contacted and welcomed. There will be an event notification posted and a signup sheet to help gauge the festivities!
A Celebration of Life for B.J. will be held Saturday, May 14, 2022 from 5:00 -11:00 p.m. at, 1109 4th Street, Clovis, California 93612. (Located in Downtown Clovis)
Contact: Any Family Member or Forrest 559.213.3848
Fond memories and expressions of sympathy may be shared at www.boicefuneralhome.com for the Gardner family.
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