Linda Kam Ling Chan Tong

Linda Kam Ling Chan Tong, 87, longtime resident of Chicago’s Hollywood Park neighborhood, passed away May 27, 2022.

Born in Hoiping (Kaiping) county of China’s Guangzhou province, Linda’s family moved to Hong Kong when she was nine. In 1958, after more than a year apart, she immigrated to the United States to join her husband, Jerry.

She was the beloved wife of the late Jerry Tze Yuen Tong; devoted mother of William Kiejan Tong (Wendy Quilan Xu), Betty Tong, and Dolly Tong (partner Steven Godfrey); proud and loving grandmother (“Nging-Nging”) of Cindy Laihan Tong and Dennis Gongyeo Tong. Sister of Kam Yin Chan and others dearly departed. Daughter of the late Gong Li Chan and Sam Dor Chan.

Due to COVID concerns, the family is hosting a one-hour graveside visitation and funeral beginning 1:30pm on Saturday, June 4 at Mt Auburn Cemetery, 4101 S. Oak Park Ave, Stickney, IL. All present are requested to wear masks.

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Eulogy – June 4, 2022

By Dolly Tong

Thank you all for being here and showing your support for my mom. It warms my heart to see your faces and to be able to share our stories about her. Unfortunately, due to my sister Betty’s onset of laryngitis, she won’t be able to speak at this time. But I’ll also speak on her behalf, so I’d like to thank her tremendously for helping me write this speech and providing insight on our shared experiences with Mom.

Like Betty, some of my most vivid childhood memories I have with Mom are when she took me with her downtown and to Chinatown to visit her friends when I was a little kid. Going downtown was a little scary, but that also made it an adventure. These were my first experiences taking the subway; it was so strange to me how the train would go through a dark underground tunnel. The noise of the train rushing through was so loud. The windows would turn black. I really thought the wicked witch from the Wizard of Oz was gonna emerge from the darkness on her broomstick! Then when we climbed up the subway stairs onto State Street, it was so intimidating. I looked up and the buildings were so tall. The streets sounded and smelled different than what I was used to. But Mom held my hand going up the stairs and onto the streets, so I always felt safe. Then it was fun to stop at Woolworth’s to pick up some candy. I had a miniature version of the same style purse as Mom’s, and always carried it with me when the two of us went downtown. It made me feel special with our matching purses, that yeah, Mom and I, we’re a team. I was crushed when one day I accidentally left my purse on the subway seat. I don’t remember how I got over it, maybe it was with another trip to Woolworth’s for some candy! Or maybe she got me another fashionable purse?

Mom was definitely a pillar of fashion in her heyday. She was a part-time model in Hong Kong, whose face graced the walls of portrait studios, and for decades her fashion sense was the envy of others. But Mom was more than just a pretty face and a fashion plate.

Even without higher education, she was ahead of her time in her thinking as a woman of her generation. When she was a child in China, she had to constantly flee from the chaos and casualties of war. That instilled in her the survival skills, courage and perseverance that would shape her character. Through the years, Betty and I didn’t see the typical housewife/homemaker female stereotype in Mom. Oh no, she didn’t believe that women should just be reduced to cooking and cleaning in the house. Dad was a professional chef running our family restaurant, so he was already in the habit of cooking and cleaning for the restaurant and then extended it to the home, especially during retirement. He was cool with it! Mom and Dad would chuckle at their role reversal. As Betty and I got older we realized and appreciated how much Mom’s influence actually liberated us!

Her fierce independence was very inspiring to us as daughters. Despite Mom’s limited English, as it was her second language, that never inhibited her from her aspirations. Her strength and fortitude helped her move forward in whatever she set out to do and stand up for what she believed in. Her lack of English skills was not a shortcoming. She was able to do a lot more than many other women of her generation could do just with her sheer determination. I admired her bravery and feistiness and wished I were a lot more like her. If I had a fraction of her guts and tenacity, who knows what kind of a warrior woman I really could’ve been!

But just as much as Mom was strong-willed and tough as nails, she was equally very kind-hearted and loving to her children and grandchildren. She never stopped her nurturing ways, even as my brother Bill, Betty and I got older and became adults. I would laugh because it seemed like she would forget how old we were and still baby us. She was the best Chinese pastry and dim sum chef. We would never get tired of eating her delicacies, and she would never get tired of feeding us!

Mom, like Dad, also had a big heart towards animals. It’s no wonder Betty and I became crazy cat ladies! Mom showed her affection to all our cats, calling out their names and telling each one “I love you.” My cat Goober had a special rapport with Mom. He has his favorite little stuffed animal, Tigger, and he regularly brought Tigger to Mom whenever he saw me tending to her. I think Goober considered Tigger a protector for Mom, it was really sweet. He misses her already.

In the last 13 years as her cognitive abilities slowly declined due to her brain tumor, she still constantly needed to know exactly what month and date it was so she could keep track of when our birthdays and holidays were coming up. She was not able to completely comprehend Dad’s passing in 2010, so almost every year after that she would still tell me, “Make sure you bring Daddy some good food for Father’s Day.” Dad was her best friend. He took care of her for so many years and worried about her well-being all the time. We assured him that Mom will always be well taken care of.

When Mom needed continuous care, I shared caregiver duties with others we hired to look after her 24/7. Some of the caregivers told me that Mom was more pleasant and easier to work with than their other clients. Mom was always appreciative of everyone who helped her, always showed her gratitude and habitually said thank you. Over time Mom had a variety of Chinese and non-Chinese caregivers. Often she couldn’t keep track of who was caring for her at the time, so sometimes she would mistakenly speak English to the Chinese caregivers and Chinese to the non-Chinese caregivers. Then eventually she decided she’s just gonna speak English to everyone. She would yell the caregiver’s name from her bed, the caregiver would come running into Mom’s room and ask “What is it? Do you need something?” My mom would just tell her, “I love you.”

In the more recent years her health issues were more and more challenging, especially during the pandemic. With covid, it wasn’t safe to have caregivers or others in the house with her because she was so immuno-compromised, so it was just me. I had many sleepless nights tending to her round-the-clock, but it was worth every minute to care for her. Because Mom embodied a lifetime of love and a heart of gold. If her love was translated into music, it would sound as rich as a symphony.

Mom always loved music. My love Steven played guitar by her side almost every night for many years. She always looked forward to it and seeing Steven because she loved him very much. We’d like to send her off with some more beautiful music from Steven and his wonderfully talented sons – Syd and Miles Godfrey. Mom, we think you’ll love it. Let the music carry you to a peaceful place. We love you, Mom.