Sylvia Smith Elam

They were inseparable for more than 60 years until just months ago, and now Mom has joined Dad in their new heavenly home along with their young son Mark, “the Little Prince.” She was also welcomed by loved ones including our Grandparents Monroe and Judy Smith and Frank and Katherine Elam, sister Barbara Bonds, nephew Jack Phillips and great-nephew Justin Elam.

We have struggled for days to write an obituary but simply cannot find words beautiful and perfect enough, so we’ve decided to write this letter instead. It is ironic the daughters of a career educator and reading specialist are now struggling to write, because she helped us with EVERY SINGLE paper we ever wrote in school. We have also struggled to find pictures of her, because she was literally and metaphorically always behind the camera, behind the scenes, smiling and encouraging, making sure everything went smoothly but giving all the glory away. We did, however, find most of the emails we wrote to her over the years, because she printed and saved them all.

We began with “Dear Loved Ones” because that’s what Mom did. If you are reading this you most likely felt loved through her service, gifts, kitchen creations, hugs and words, laughter or tears. She loved quickly and easily, making strong lasting bonds with so many people throughout every season of her life. She loved many scriptures including 1 Corinthians 13, but the scripture she LIVED every day is John 13:34 “A new commandment I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another.” She loved fully, completely, unconditionally, with all her heart and soul.

Born in Charlotte, she graduated from Harding High School in 1956 then studied Elementary Education at UNC Greensboro. She returned to Charlotte to begin her teaching career and start a family. She was the ultimate homemaker and Super Mom who kept a beautiful home and garden, served three home-cooked meals daily, chauffeured us to school and countless other activities, helped with homework, entertained us and our friends with craft projects, even made clothes and altered dance costumes to fit us just right. When we were little, she packed our lunch boxes with love notes, and when we became more concerned with hot curlers than hot breakfasts, she delivered breakfast to our bedrooms on school mornings. When we went away to college, we didn’t recognize the strange things our friends were eating on campus (cereal and Raman). She did all of this while working full time and earning Masters degrees in reading and education administration.

Mom was passionate about the wellbeing and education of ALL children and was so grateful to work as an educator. As assistant principal she frequently dealt with “problem students” by having them spend the day in her office (reading books, eating snacks and sometimes using her cool phone with all the buttons to call one of us.) She retired from Charlotte Mecklenburg Schools in 1998 with 30 years of service, ending her career at Sterling Elementary School. In retirement she volunteered at her grandchildren’s schools and often met her beloved teacher friends the “Sterling Spoons” for lunch. She never actually stopped being an educator as she taught and mentored family and friends on many subjects. She remained an avid reader and learner her entire life, and she loved to give books as gifts.

Mom and Dad enjoyed traveling together and meeting people from all over the world, from Alaska to Israel and on mission trips to Haiti. An Anglophile at heart, she adored everything English, and when she wasn’t actually IN England she was often reading about English history or tending her beautiful English garden. We know for sure she is now having her favorite afternoon tea and scones with The Queen.

Her love of gardening may have begun when she lived in rural Union County while her father served during WW2. She was scolded for picking wildflowers with her sister when she was supposed to be picking cotton. Her favorite flowers were pink, blue, purple, and yellow, and more than once she said “I know that’s a weed, but I think it’s so pretty.” She said watering was her meditation, and her favorite part of gardening was giving plants to others.

Mom taught us gently from an early age “If you can’t say something nice about someone, then just don’t say anything at all.” She was quick to forgive, ALWAYS had something positive to say about every person and any situation and possessed divine gifts of patience and persistence: “If at first you don’t succeed, try try again.” When we bought fixer-uppers, most everyone else who saw the houses offered us a bulldozer or a match. Mom said in her sweet way “Well…you surely don’t need this house, but this house surely needs you.” She was a constant source of affirmation and encouragement, and her ability to guide us without pressure or unsolicited advice was remarkable.

If Dad induced our eye rolls with his crazy old clothes, antics, and Ed-isms, Mom made us turn pink with her gushing accolades. EVERY SINGLE DAY she told us we are beautiful, smart, kind, and “perfect in every way.” And not just us - she would go on and on about our accomplishments to anyone who would listen- friends, doctors and nurses, and Gary the “cart man” at Harris Teeter. We made her promise NEVER to write one of those family Christmas letters, because we knew it would be the longest most embarrassing letter ever. We each like to say we were her favorite, but there was never any favoritism. Her children and grandchildren may seem similar on the surface, but the reality is we are very different people. Yet she loved each of us beyond words and encouraged our uniqueness. Her love had no bounds but make no mistake, the beings she loved most of all were her grandchildren.

Left to cherish her memory with us are a treasured family of relations and friends including her beloved grandchildren Morgan, Thomas and Kathryn Smith Kuchenbrod and the families of her sisters and Dad’s brothers Flint Bonds, Donna and Ronnie Alley, Jimmy and Carey Jo Elam, Ardie and Darlene Banker, and Bill and Jean White. In the final year of her life her circle of love grew to include her “adopted daughters” and an extended family of friends and caring angels at Briar Creek, Carepoint, and Hospice. Their love and devotion to Mom has sustained us all through the darkest days and restored our faith in humanity.

Mom leaves a legacy of compassion, generosity, and boundless love we will never be able to match, but we will spend the rest of our lives trying to follow her example.

Love,

Alys and Kurt Kuchenbrod

Ann and Jim Mason

A visitation for Sylvia will be held Monday, September 19, 2022 from 2:00 PM to 3:00 PM at Chapel of McEwen at Sharon Memorial Park, 5716 Monroe Road, Charlotte, North Carolina 28212, followed by a celebration of life at 3:00 PM.

Memorials may be sent to Good Shepherd Church, 13110 Moss Rd., Charlotte, NC 28112.

Condolences may be offered at www.McEwenPinevilleChapel.com.