Ildikó Duffek Trombitás

Ildikó was born October 3, 1932 in the suburb of Rákoscsaba, Budapest, Hungary to her parents, Mihály and Erzsébet Duffek. From a young age, Ildikó showed a love for swimming, rowing, and spending time engaged in music lessons with her mother and father. She showed keen intellect for languages, starting with German fluency to communicate with her grandmother. Ildikó persevered through the biggest events of Hungarian history, beginning with World War II. Through the many horrors she experienced in her childhood, she never gave up her dream of attending college and obtaining a degree. As she grew up, she spent her summers on Lake Balaton rowing and swimming with her closest friends.

Ildikó attended Eötvös Loránd University and graduated with a Masters in Library Science in 1956, shortly before the Hungarian Revolution began. She met her husband, István Trombitás, while working in the university library. They married on September 5, 1956 in the beautiful Belvárosi Templom in downtown Budapest. Approximately two months later, the 1956 Hungarian Revolution started and Ildikó decided to make a better life for herself by escaping to Austria with her husband. From there, they gained refugee status in Switzerland and she had her first daughter, Yvonne, in 1957. They settled into Switzerland for a brief time until immigrating to Montreal, Canada, where they lived for 12 years and had two more daughters, Susan (born 1960) and Agi (born 1963).

Ildikó entered the pharmaceutical industry during her time in Montreal and eventually worked for Burroughs Wellcome, Inc. in 1969. She relocated to the RTP area to focus on helping Burroughs Wellcome expand their library and research departments, where in 1971 she settled in Cary. Ildikó loved her job with her whole heart – many of her exposures to different cultures, countries, and languages bloomed from her position at the company. Ildikó never met someone she couldn’t befriend on some level, leading her to have a wide array of friends across the globe. After her husband’s passing in 1982, she ascended her position in Burroughs Wellcome to work in the UK and US for several years. When Burroughs Wellcome merged with Glaxo Smith Kline, Ildikó decided to start her retirement adventures and travel the world with her travel group and closest friends.

In the last few decades of her life, Ildikó made the best out of every high and low in life. She played the piano by ear and could replicate any song a guest requested, hosted numerous dinner parties and bridge groups, attended political courses at NC State, got involved with teaching ESL at her grandchildren’s elementary school, volunteered for the USO, worked on political campaigns, and created a magical Christmas Eve every year for her kids, grandkids, and extended family. Her joy for life never stopped, even in the face of extreme loss after her daughter Yvonne’s passing in 2011. To her friends, she was extraordinary and accomplished, sharp-witted, and always compassionate. To her family, she was known as ‘Mom’ and ‘Grandma’ – a magical person that always showed up for every accomplishment, big or small, and celebrated her family’s accomplishments. Ildikó really did it all – she could cook, dance, play piano, host a whiz-bang party, attend many Hungarian club meetings, speak English, French, Italian, Spanish, German, Russian, and Hungarian, and STILL make time for her family. Her affinity for travel and the arts passed forward to her children and grandchildren, who have demonstrated the same openhearted kindness that Ildikó carried on her chest.

Her parents, her husband Istvan Trombitás, and her daughter, Yvonne Walton, predecease Ildikó. She is survived by her brother, Dr. Mihály Duffek (Ildikó Duffek), sister Andrea Derzsy, daughters, Agi Trombitás and Susan Trombitás, nephews Andrew Derzsy (Margaret) and Mihály Duffek Jr. (Kristina), niece Ildikó Heltai-Duffek (Zoltan), grandchildren Stephen Kelly (Becca), Stephanie Adams (Dennis), Erika Christiana (Travis), Adam Christiana, and Alex Christiana, and great-grandchildren Emilee Adams, Lilly Adams, and Adrienne Kelly. Her many close family friends also share in this great loss, and brightened her life during the past few years; there are too many close friends to count, but that’s Ildikó’s trademark: being universally loved and giving unconditional love wherever she traveled. Her loved ones profoundly miss her, but her spirit will continue to thrive in the hearts of many. ~ Obituary written by Erika Christiana, her loving granddaughter

A Memorial Service is being arranged for Saturday, June 10th at 5:00 pm in the Chapel of Brown-Wynne Funeral Home.

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